Headward Cullen, Jizzper Whitlock and Titlight
by FrenchCaresse
Summary: Headward Cullen, King of pussy and Pornstar Extraordinaire, lands a role in the new XXX movie,Titlight. Accidentally unearthing co-star Jizzper Whitlock's troubled past leads him on a journey of discovery,sexual identity and friendship. AH,JxE,slash
1. Chapter 1: Introducing Edward

_Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, but I call dibs on Titlight!_

An extra special thanks to my amazing Beta-extraordinaire; **Nana Bobobo**.

An even bigger hug goes out to **Fr333Bird**, for her support and for setting me on the road to actually posting.

Now, on with the story; Edward wants to meet you, and he's not very patient today...

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><p>He was the man. Oh, yeah… Edward Cullen was <em>the<em> man.

Standing in front of the mirror, Edward nodded, satisfied with what he saw. He presented a long trim body, carefully sculpted. He boasted strong thighs, the powerful muscles ready for pumping. He made ladies cream with his six-pack abs accessorized with just the right amount of pecs. He was da shit.

Turning sideways he assumed standard blow-job stance, watching his biceps play as his hands came to rest on his hips. From this angle, you could just catch of glimpse of his toned ass. Thrusting a couple of times at nothing, he watched his semi flop around. _Oh yeah._ Bring it on baby.

Cupping his balls, Edward flexed his knees a bit at the feeling, stifling a grunt. Fuck he was ready. Slowly rolling the loose sack around, he could still feel the ache. Blood was already starting to pool, making his dick longer, more substantial. God, it hurt so good. Giving himself a squeeze, Edward turned from the mirror. He had to get dressed. Or he was going to be late.

And he didn't want to be late.

More than just his usual punctuality, which his agent Rose called anal, Edward was ready to pound some juicy pussy. It was already an effort to keep the erection at bay. Tearing open the new underwear package, Edward sighed again. God he was horny. He was actually looking forward to work, which was unusual.

The stretchy black fabric clung to his junk, making a satisfying bulge. It was one of the things Edward had learned. Some of the smaller shoots didn't always have much budget for wardrobe. What cash they had was used to hire the trendy double D's of the hour, and having them fucked by him. The Fabulous Headward... _Porn King Extraordinaire_.

Edward liked to be prepared, to have a plan; he didn't like the unexpected. He still felt flustered thinking about that first time when a fat and sweaty director had told him that whatever undies he had on was fine. He'd had a momentary panic thinking of his holey faded grey boxers, before inspiration struck. A short visit to the bathroom later and the fact that he went commando only added to his budding reputation. He was a sex god.

And he was soooo ready to make that girl scream. _Bella_. Hell yeah. Recklessly navigating through just-as-fast traffic, Edward kept his cock under firm control. If he allowed himself to daydream, then he slipped back into last night's images, and he became raging hard. What a waste, all alone in his car.

So Edward tried to close his mental door on the images that felt branded into his brain, stuffing all the horniness into a tight box before he unleashed it on set.

_Later_, Edward promised his barely subdued cock with another fondle. _Soon_... Soon he would be buried balls deep and pounding . Pounding with another dude watching.

_Fuuuuccckk! Not helping_. He felt his dick pulse firmly, betraying his arousal. Edward actually had to spend a moment concentrating before he was able to drag his comforting hand away. Fuck, his cock was like a magnet when it was so needy.

Lighting a cigarette to keep his traitorous fingers occupied, he made himself stop tapping his foot impatiently on the Volvo floor. Damn red lights. Couldn't someone just time the things so he could catch all green and sail into the studio and start fucking already?

_[HCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHC]_

This was bad.

He should have jerked off before he left.

Or yesterday even.

Edward didn't normally go to shoots with such a bad case of blue balls. It was a rookie mistake, risking being unable to fuck as demanded for fear of blowing. It was the sign of a professional to be able to walk in, sufficiently prepped to give a good performance ending with the perfect money-shot. Edward was experienced. He had a reputation to maintain. He was the fucking Headward for god's sakes.

He had his routine down pat after the last few years. Usually, Edward went without cumming for about a week before a shoot, if timetables allowed. The night before, he surfed the web a bit, getting good and ready.

Except last night he encountered a problem and his preparations had gotten out of hand. Or rather much too in hand.

He had stumbled onto something he had NOT expected. It had thrown him off balance, and Edward didn't like that. He was STILL raging angry, the need to shout his fury twisting together with the lust into a lethal mix. He felt volatile, reckless.

Part of that frustration was with himself, for not being able to stop watching. He should have just clicked that stupid browser off. But no, he'd watched the whole thing, trembling in disgust and desire. Then, like an addict, he'd searched for more. Pushing his limits, yet getting so fucking hard in the process, he'd hardly stroked; just the occasional satisfying pump when it became unbearable. Instead, sweating, he'd pulsed and throbbed and contented himself with a light teasing finger tracing his oversensitive cock-head, or a thumb swiping into the pre-cum leaking everywhere.

God, he'd been like a faucet, he'd been on edge for so long. There were a few critical moments when he'd actually had to focus on not releasing, without ANY touch at all, never mind actual jacking. He hadn't been in danger of spontaneous eruptions like that since he'd been a seventeen-year-old! Fuck, it was ridiculous.

At least he'd managed to hold his load. Rosalie would have had his head if he'd messed up his signature jizz shot!

Except now, with his dick trying to tear through his motherfucking jeans as he double-parked in an area marked handicapped, he was second-guessing himself.

This was no good.

Edward could feel his world starting to tilt off axis. He growled in frustration, but deep down he was scared. He was nearing one of those existential moments, when all you were, changed. He didn't like it one bit, that discovery looming ominously over his head.

He was trembling, as he took long strides towards the studio; he didn't fucking know if it was nerves or lust. Squaring his shoulders and reciting his mantra- He was_ Headward, The King of Pussy! _This was his kingdom! - Edward opened the door marked _Titlight, Closed Set_ and entered.

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><p>A thank you also goes out to<strong> McGee42<strong> and **Torisurfergirl** of _Project Team Beta_ for their effort. Please don't hold them responsible for the (lack of) commas and sentence splices. That would be Edward's fault, for being blunt and moderately incoherent when he's in freak-out mode, then refusing to repent...


	2. Chapter 2 : Introducing Alice

_Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, but I call dibs on Titlight!_

In life, it's all or nothing. After over a month of searching for a Beta, I had three come through all on the same day! Kisses and thanks to **Lattecoug** and **Furious Kitten** of_ Project Team Beta_, and the lightning-fast **Laverett**! My crazy Beta-experimenting youth days are over, I have found my Beta soulmate.

Now, plug your ears everyone; Alice is on the way...

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><p>''EEEEEEDDDDDDIIIIIIEEEE !''<p>

A terrifying screech was his only warning before something hard and wiggly crashed into him, nearly sending him to the floor and cracking his elbow firmly on the doorjamb.

''Ow! Owww owwww! Fuck, Al, can't you just wave like a normal human being?'' Edward grumbled, trying to shake sensation back into his hand.

In his spaced-out state, it was a few long minutes before he realized she hadn't answered. Cautious, he peeked through his lashes at his director, still clenching and unclenching his fingers.

_Oh crap. _

Edward had known Alice a long time, though it was the first they were working together. He had seen her like this only twice, and it hadn't been directed at him. Thank God.

He remembered though...

Her black eyes were narrowed to slits, her face was pale, her nostrils flared. Her tiny figure shook with rage.

_Ohhh, ohhh crap. _

Edward cringed, frozen and waiting for the freight train barreling straight at him. Alice opened her mouth, took a deep -DEEP- breath in slow motion and all hell broke loose.

''NO WAY! EDWARD, YOU DID NOT! I can't believe it! Especially you! I THOUGHT YOU UNDERSTOOD! This isn't for loser jerkers! This is aimed at women! It's not just porn! THIS IS ARTISTIC! IT'S _DIFFERENT_!''

Her voice rose in decibels as well as pitch, making Edward wonder if dogs were howling outside in response.

Well, part of him did.

The rest of him, the part not having an out-of-body experience resulting from his close brush with death, was currently frozen silent and uncomprehending.

''NO ugly hairy guys! ONLY actors who can actually give dialogue without sounding like a robot! NO dead fish lying there! I want GENUINE AUTHENTIC CONNECTION between my actors!''

''THIS ISN'T ABOUT DICK ONLY, IDIOT! It's about facial expressions! Non-verbal! Energy! _IMAGINATION!_ Damn, Edward, HOW COULD YOU?''

''Al, what the fuck are you…''

Edward was starting to get irritated. It was all good to be verbally abused for a few minutes. But not to know why… And with no chance to defend himself?

This was not something Edward was used to, and it was grating on his already highly strung nerves.

''Edward! YOU PROMISED NO PILLS! _YOU SIGNED IT IN YOUR CONTRACT!_ No Viagra! And now you come in and…''

A very un-Edward-like snort was lost in the continued screeching.

''Alice…''

She didn't even hear him. Maybe she was deaf from her own screaming. Or maybe she didn't hear herself. Little dogs didn't! Little dogs had this membrane thing in their ears that closed up during barking. Or was it a pressure gradient thing? He was sure there was some natural mechanism though… Edward couldn't remember. Now it would bug him. He'd have to Google it or he would obsess all day.

''ALICE…!''

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Edward fought to calm himself. She wasn't stopping; she was getting worse. The dogs outside must be lying down, unconscious. And now, all of the crew was watching curiously.

Already worked up from earlier, Edward longed to scream back at her.

He didn't; he walked away.

It worked too; walking away shut Alice up mid-sentence. Maybe mid-word…

He had tuned out the rest of her rant once he'd understood. It was all because she had felt his hard-on when she hugged him. How could she not, there was a reason he was a porn star! A notably reluctant one. One who'd been hard before even entering the room. No wonder she'd thought he'd used a little blue-pill help…

Still, she had no right to treat him like that.

''Alice,'' he half-turned and said quietly during her stunned pause -apparently, people didn't walk away in the middle of raging Alice.''I didn't.''

The words rang loudly in the totally silent room. Ignoring all the stares, though they burned his back, he walked toward the only semi-private corner on set.

Well, he intended a calm confident shamble, but he might have stalked.

Just a bit.

At least he didn't growl like he felt like doing.

He hoped he hadn't.

After half a room of stomping, he heard her sharp heels clicking smartly behind, following him to the lounge.

_[HCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHC]_

_The Lounge. _

It was actually a corner behind the rolling racks of… well, Edward wasn't sure those designer pieces of lace and rhinestone could actually be called clothing, but whatever. It made a kind of two-walled enclosure around the make-up corner, where a prop couch and a few folding chairs were conveniently kept.

The place was used by the actors for changing, beautifying and just waiting around for everything to be Alice-approved.

As Edward stormed in, he was met by the startled gazes of Bella, who was getting her face done by Angela, and Jasper, who was sprawled on the couch.

''Wha…'' the brunette started to ask but was immediately cut off.

''Out. Get out. Both of you.''

Edward's voice was cold and frankly a bit scary. It set both girls to scurrying. Jasper made as if to follow and was curtly ordered ''No. You stay.''

''You stay too.'' The last bit was uttered toward the doorway at a somewhat shamefaced Alice and a decidedly pissed, and perhaps intrigued, Rosalie Hale.

''Edward,'' the blond began lifting a perfectly arched brow, ''what is your fucking problem?'' (Rosalie had a mouth that would put a trucker to shame, somehow made worse by her striking appearance and prim air.)

Edward, however, refused to be intimidated by the arched brow.

''My problem, is … HIM.''

A swift movement and a dramatic finger point later, all eyes were on a startled Jasper.

''Me? Whad'd I do man? I barely know you. Surely there's a mistake?'' Jasper drawled.

He did not seem at all remorseful for the current situation.

In fact, he appeared quite angelic and baffled, with his honey blond curls all roughed and a slight stubble on his jaw. And of course, despite the grimy, high-placed, tiny window, a beam of sunlight had to shine down at that precise moment and illuminate him with molten gold.

Edward swallowed, losing his train of thought.

He felt a desperate urge to lick along Jasper's collarbone and see if he tasted like honey too. His dick, having momentarily been shocked and awed into submission by Alice-the-Fury, revived with a lurch. The discomfort reminded Edward that he wasn't, in fact, gay, and daydreams of dragging his tongue on another guy were strictly because of…

''You! You are… you lied…''

''...You…''

''I SAW you…''

Edward was having a hard time organizing his thoughts into coherent sentences; there was a traffic jam of words tangling his tongue. This was as close to stuttering Edward had come in a decade, and he actually had to remind himself of the old tricks he'd used to master that problem.

_Deep breath. __Think of what you want to say.__Good._

_Breathe._

_Now do it! Don't over-think!_

''Alice, you want me to do a threesome with him? With… Ja-Jasper. He's que-queer ! As in; fucking gay! You WANT ME TO BE NAKED IN BED _WITH A FUCKING FAG_ ?''

Thank God the anger had stopped the stammering. It felt good now to let it all roll out.

''And you!'' He turned to Rose. ''You fucking knew!''

It was a guess, just because Rose usually knew everything. Edward felt validated as her mouth thinned. He was right; she HAD known.

''As for _you_…'' finally turning to face Jasper, Edward let the words flow.

''You lied. You were trying to get my virgin ass, you filthy perv. HOW COULD YOU? That is just fucking sick, pretending to be straight when what you like is being balls-deep in a poop-chute. A GUY's asshole. Preferably mine!''

''What, women ain't good enough for you? You lying bastard… I… just …''

''…that's…''

The words were jamming again, fuck it. Probably because Edward wasn't perfectly clear on the rest he might want to say. It was extremely unlike him to lose his cool like that. He couldn't even remember the last time he had lost his temper.

It was… oddly liberating. Maybe he should do it more often.

A sudden intimidating shadow interrupted his self-praise...

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><p><em>More next Saturday!<em>

_Just in case you are the type to obsess over details like Edward, he was mistaken. Little dogs can actually hear themselves bark. In fact, some of them do it on purpose just to hear themselves. Which, for some strange reason, reminds me of one of my bosses... Edward was confused because his Grand-ma had a debarked dog, who still barked continuously and didn't seem to know he wasn't making noise. Which is also frequent, and not clearly explained. Arf! Arf!_


	3. Chapter 3 : Introducing Jasper

_Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, but I call dibs on Titlight!_

Many thanks to my amazing Beta, **Laverett**. Together, we shall conquer the evil e-mail eating monster!

Now, a word of warning. I planned this story with little plot and lots of smexing. However, these studs just won't get down to it, they have a story to share too. *sigh* _Men!_ Anyway, it is now time to meet Jasper. And he's not very happy right now, so **angst warning**. Mention of touchy subjects and dark themes; this chapter is short but intense...

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><p>Jasper was in Edward's face.<p>

Really fucking close.

Close enough to smell.

Close enough to taste. Hmmm.

And he was _mad._ Edward could feel the ire rolling off him in waves. In his periphery, he saw Alice raising helpless hands at Rosalie. Edward swallowed.

Ok, so maybe lashing out wasn't as cool as he thought...

''How dare you?'' Jasper's voice was not loud.

But what it lacked in volume, it made up in intensity. And just like Alice's ear-splitting rage, it froze Edward to the spot. ''How dare you judge me! Do you know me?''

The quiet words hissed, and fire crackled in Jasper's eyes. He didn't pause for an answer.

''No, you don't.''

''You don't know me at all.''

''You don't fucking have a clue about me, so _shut the fuck up_! Who are you to say what I am, and what I'm not? Mighty Headward, maybe I should kneel before your highness?'' Jasper sketched a mock half-bow, his whole body quivering.

''Well fuck that. And fuck you.''

Edward cringed. Jasper's face was flushed and his hands were balled tight into fists. It was obviously requiring a measure of supreme control for him not to deck Edward.

''You have no idea. Do you think you are so high above us? Edward, with his rich parents, looking down on all the rest of us dirt. So much better, are you? Never wanted to do porn, it just happened because of your pretty face, huh?''

Jasper was still whisper-yelling, and Edward almost wished he would actually scream. Somehow, this quiet and controlled seething was worse.

''Welcome to the real world, rich boy. Some of us needed money. Some of us aren't royalty. Not everyone can spit on the others!''

Jasper's tirade was bitter, mocking. The expression did not suit him at all, the sarcasm settling straight into a heavy ball in Edward's middle.

''Welcome to the real world, _Prince Eddie_. The Real World is that nasty grimy place where you end up all alone, desperately needing to find a way to get that next fix. And... you know what? If you have a pretty twink face, gay porn is a gold mine!''

''Who cares whether or not you're actually gay? Surely not the agent who pays you on the side in heroine to get you through the scenes! Definitely not the director who thinks pain is hot, the sick fuck. Surely not the other poor desperate blokes who will be taking it, each caught up in his own pathetic story.''

Jasper's voice was rough now, grating on the lump in his throat. Edward wanted to plug his ears or curl into a ball, just to make him stop. But he couldn't seem to do ANYTHING, for the second time that day. He was dreading whatever was coming next. He didn't want to know. Didn't want to hear any more. He'd learned his lesson; he'd had enough.

Jasper wanted to stop too.

But he couldn't seem to, his breath coming in short pained huffs. His face grew tight, determined.

''It's just a bonus if you've had an adult man… _touch... _ you when you were just a boy, huh? It's just goddamn experience, right? Who cares if you wanted it? NO-ONE! Foster-care is for the well-being of the child, right?"

Jasper snorted and continued.

''No-one listens to a kid. Absolutely no-one gives a shit about a loser like that. Especially not you…you… Mister Perfect Daddy's boy...'' His voice cracked and the words faltered.

Jasper's eyes were blazing fiercely bright with too much pent-up emotion.

Edward managed to tear his gaze away from the swirling hazel pools, he couldn't look anymore; couldn't face the rage, the pain, the shame, the hate, the despair muddling in there.

Edward felt dizzy.

And sick.

He felt sick with himself, at how he'd judged. Jasper's harsh words were hitting straight home, because they were true. And Edward's stomach hurt for Jasper because he could tell the awful story he'd outlined was the truth too.

Jasper finally gave up on speaking anymore.

Just like Edward's, his anger had fizzled to nothing. He half-turned, staring at the wall. Ran a shaky hand through his hair and locked his jaw. He would not start bawling. He simply refused to. Swallowing against the tightness in his throat, he fought to control himself. _Fuck_.

From the profile view he had, Edward could see the tension in every single fiber of Jasper's body. It created a strong urge to hug him, to soothe the raw distress. Edward stilled himself. Jasper didn't want to be hugged. Especially not by him, the reason he was in that state. He was being ridiculous.

Jasper dashed an angry palm at his treacherous eyes.

_FUCK!_

With a sharp inhale, Jasper gathered what was left of his dignity and blindly ran for the fire exit nearby.

''Fuck you.''

Jasper's voice was a broken thread, yet he made himself push the words out. Angry was good.

''Fuck you, Edward_._ ''

Angry was better than… the familiar darkness that threatened to swamp him.

''Fuck all of you and this goddamn business.''

_[HCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHC]_

The silence was so strong after Jasper left, it seemed the echo of the heavy metal door would never end. Alice was crying softly, and Rose dropped heavily onto the sofa.

Edward was frozen.

Right down to his core.

Like a Popsicle.

No, that was wrong. Popsicles had a stick down the middle! Actually, maybe that was right. Maybe Edward needed to pry the goddamn stick out of his ass… It might have prevented this whole mess.

Edward didn't rightly know what he'd expected when he confronted everyone with his discovery. Outrage maybe. Encouragement. Surely sympathy.

Not this, definitely not this. How could it all have turned upside down like that? Edward was the good guy,the righteously foiled. Not… Whatever it was he felt now, that made him taste bile.

After another minute of post-traumatic fuzz, Edward knew with a sinking heart what he had to do.

His Dad might be loaded, but he'd made a man of him. Edward had learned quite young to take responsibility for whatever shit was his fault and to do what was needed to right the situation. Even if he didn't like it, even if he didn't want to. Even if it was humiliating and made him cringe, Edward knew he now had to lie in the bed he had just made.

Squaring his shoulders, Edward tugged the solid door open.

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><p><em>*sniff*<em>

_Jasper couldn't stop once he started, so I just let him get it out... But I also feel I can't leave you hanging on such a heart-wrenching note. So this week is special; you got one update early (Friday instead of Saturday). There will be a** bonus mini-update** -chapter 3.5- on Sunday! See you in two days!_


	4. Chapter 3,5 : Interlude

_Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, but I call dibs on Titlight!_

Thanks to my fabulous Beta (and master fish-baiter) **Laverett** !

So, we left the boys in a bad place...

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><p><em>[HCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHC]<em>

''Go away.''

Jasper was sitting hunched on the rusty metal stairs, head between his arms. In the dim light, his blond waves looked darker, almost brown. They still looked soft and silky though.

''Alice, I said go away. '' Jasper's voice was tired, and his whole posture was so defeated it made Edward's throat hurt. This was so _wrong_ for the easygoing guy he'd briefly met.

''Al? Look, I promise I won't do anything stupid, ok? Just leave me alone.''

''Alice?''

He didn't even have the energy to raise his head, just turned it sideways so his cheek rested on his fore-arm.

''Oh. Edward. You're not Alice.'' Jasper mumbled, before turning to look the other way. There was no spark left in him, like he'd had his light blown out.

Gathering his courage, Edward moved to sit beside Jasper. Eyeing the brownish stair doubtfully, he barely hesitated before sitting gingerly on the edge. Edward didn't like dirt any more than he liked chaos. It didn't fit well into the well-ordered, immaculately structured life he craved.

For a few minutes, all was silent except for the distant roar of traffic. Edward fidgeted, while Jasper remained prostrate and still. There was a tension in his shoulders that hadn't been there before; so although he was ignoring Edward, he was aware of his proximity.

Edward didn't really know how to start, or exactly what to say. He sat, his thoughts wandering.

Edward wondered how many boots had tread on these stairs. Probably most of the dirt was from boots, he decided. Who knew where they'd been before? What gross bugs and rotten foods were mashed into their filthy soles?

There was probably cigarette ash too, because this was a fire exit after all. People didn't use it much, except to sneak a smoke.

The janitor took the trash out through here.

Oh, ew. Maybe there was garbage juice on the steps. And considering what happened in the studio… yuck, yuck, yuck!

Didn't the cameramen occasionally come here to ''relax'' after a shoot? Oh that was worse, maybe he was sitting in a dried puddle of camera dude cum. Lucky as he was, it was surely from that ugly wrinkly one with the long nose hairs and ginormous ears. He was sure the man shot thick, lumpy yellow goo…

Edward shuddered, and tried to subtly eye the remaining stairs for suspicious stains.

Wait, did something just move under there? Move as in scuttle creepily? A spider? A_ cockroach_?

Nope, it was something bigger! A mouse ? Or worse, a _RAT!_

Edward was starting to panic. He was sitting on a bunch of old rat droppings, mixed with repulsive dried sperm and shoe-sole gunk.

Unless it was rat PEE?

Edward might have moaned a bit, when he realized rats had no toilets. They peed everywhere. Especially in dark alleys. They definitely favored the stairs, there was no doubt about it. What if there was rat cum too? Did rat's even cum? Sure they had sex, but did they, like, have ejaculations without intercourse? On steps? Wait, could rats have STD's ?

''STOP IT.''

Jasper's voice was still cold, but it wasn't completely dead either. There was a trace of the earlier fury running through it now.

''I came here to be alone and miserable, I don't need you freaking out beside me.''

Mercifully, Jasper's words saved Edward from the melt-down spiral, before his thoughts could deteriorate even more. The reality shock was enough to make him blurt out what he'd originally wanted to say.

''I'm sorry, Jasper. Really, I _am_. I… I didn't mean for… to m-mmake you feel bad. ''

Jasper didn't say anything, keeping his head down. He shrugged. After a while, Edward, who'd been staring at his feet, hazarded a look at him. It was pretty dark, and Jasper's face was obscured by his hair. He could just make out a tense jaw line, and an oddly delicate ear. Edward noticed an unlit cigarette dangling from Jasper's slim fingers.

It brought back an unwanted rush of digital images, of those same slender fingers running down a chest, curling around a dick, obscenely sinking into a greedy asshole…

* * *

><p><em>There, a glimmer of hope. I just couldn't leave you in a funk all week long...<em>

_Oh, and rats CAN have spontaneous ejaculations. They can also get STD's... (I sure hope my husband doesn't check my browser history ! lol ! The things I'll do for you guys...)_

_Time for a** READER POLL** :** Which song** would best suit a dance in which a famous dominatrix seduces one of the boys? Something sultry with a good hard beat... Answer in a review, you might get your song included (much much) later in the story! _


	5. Chapter 4 : Introspection and alleys

_Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, but I call dibs on Titlight!_

The best Beta, **Laverett**, did a wonderful job again!

Thanks to everyone who reviewed last week, you're amazing! I'm a bit backlogged replying to reviews, I've been working on a (very different) one-shot. It should be up soon, so I hope to get back on track!

We left the boys together in the alley, hoping they'd make up. Instead, Edward had a germ-freak-out and got distracted by Jasper's fingers graceful fingers holding a cigarette._ Focus_, Edward, _focus_. You have stuff to talk about, stop avoiding it...

* * *

><p>''Are you…?'' Edward began just as Jasper said ''I know you didn't mean to…''<p>

They both stopped, and when it became obvious Jasper wasn't continuing, Edward finished hesitantly, ''Are you going to smoke that?''

Jasper finally reacted, his head tossing back as he barked out a harsh laugh.

''I wish!''

He chuckled dryly again.

Finally, he gestured to where a red Bic was glinting dully on the pavement.

''Can't light up,'' he mumbled softly. ''I'm shakin' too bad…''

Oh. Edward hadn't expected that, and there didn't seem to be much he could say in answer either. Bending over, he retrieved it with two fingertips, trying not to touch the ground and all the unmentionable horrors it might contain.

Sudden warmth rushed through him. He could feel Jasper staring at him, even if he was still sitting behind him. It spread a burn through him, an _awareness_. It… promised _things_. It made his cock want to stir again.

Sitting back down a bit too fast, Edward caught a hint of a smirk from Jasper.

''Want me to…?'' Edward asked hurriedly, raising the lighter.

Jasper half-smiled and appraised him for an uncomfortable moment, before nodding.

Leaning forward, Jasper took a long draw from his cigarette, touching it to the small flame Edward held. His pursed lips were briefly illuminated in the orange glow and his eyelashes threw long oblique shadows on his cheeks.

Edward swallowed again.

Fuck, he was starting to sweat.

Edward hated sweat.

He tapped a cigarette from his own pack and used Jasper's Bic to ignite it.

When the silence grew stifling once more, broken only by the softly flaring crackle of their respective embers, Edward spoke again, mostly just for the much-needed distraction.

''I'm sorry I assumed you were gay. I... it just never occurred to me you might not be. I didn't mean to out you. Or be disrespectful or insulting…''

When Jasper failed to respond, Edward had time to mull over his last words. They were decidedly homophobic, he realized. Not something you wanted to say to ease the anger of a homosexual or even a non-homosexual -one who'd done homosexual acts. How would you call that? A pseudo-homosexual? It was like trying to qualify a relationship with a transgender. If it was a girl who was a man going out with a girl, was she lesbian or straight? What if the other girl was also transgender? That shit was fucking confusing!

Trying to correct himself, he added:

''Not that I mean saying you're gay is an insult. I mean, it's perfectly fine. Just that, you know, if you aren't I don't want you to be mad because I thought so. Because there's absolutely nothing wrong with it! Unless…''

Taking a deep breath, Edward felt his cheeks flaming. God, what was his problem with putting his foot in his mouth today?

''I'm stopping now, ok? Cause this just keeps getting worse. See? This is me shutting up!''

Jasper chuckled quietly, before drawling, ''You're cute when you're all ruffled... Like a baby chick.''

This statement, of course, caused Edward's blood pressure to rocket even higher. He had never been called a _chick_ before, and he couldn't decide if he was angry or embarassed.

''Not like the image you give off,'' Jasper continued, not at all helping Edward's undefined emotional state.

This time, the awkward silence was caused by Edward, who was blushing too furiously to respond.

Jasper straightened, taking one last deep drag from his cigarette, before pinching it out and throwing it into the darkness beyond.

Hopefully, he bonked a perverted rat straight on his freak head.

''So… '' Jasper said, rubbing his hands on his jeans, ''what did you think of my movies? Which ones did you see?''

Edward coughed, choking on the bitter smoke he'd just been about to expel. For a good thirty seconds, he hacked hoarsely, trying to get his lungs in order while his eyes watered.

''I, um I.. I diddididn't wa-watch on purpose, you kno-ow?'' Edward hedged.

Fuck, here he was stuttering, _again!_ He'd thought that issue solved in high school!

''I, I like to research my pa-partners before a scene, ya know? To get a better idea of wha-what works for them, how to better interact. It's a perfectionist thing, Rose says. I don't know, it's kinda like studying for a test?''

''Anyway, I was on Youporn and I typed _Jizzper Whitlock threesome_. Cause, you know, that's what we…. ''Edward wrung his hands fitfully.

''I wasn't paying attention after the first track and just clicked on a suggested one after it ended. And when I lu-lu-looked again, it was you and, um, two guys… You were… there was fucking…''

Edward choked into silence, blushing hard. He failed to find the courage to admit that after that first vid, he had searched for more. Many, many, more. God bless Tumbler!

There was a humming sound in his ears, and he was miserably hard again. He resisted the urge to adjust himself out of sheer stubbornness.

Jasper's eyes were shining in his shadowed face, but Edward couldn't for the life of him make out his expression.

''And it grossed you out,'' Jasper finished flatly.

Jasper turned his head again, staring at a distant spotlight. Edward barely breathed, waiting anxiously for Jasper to turn the tables, to accuse HIM of being gay.

Except he didn't.

Instead, Jasper sank back into that grey listless mood.

His voice was dead again, as he continued dully.''And now I've served you up my miserable soul on a platter, just because I lost my temper. I'm not… I've worked long and hard to change, to climb up from rock bottom. ''

Jasper sighed.

''Edward, people don't know about my past, not like that. Never before we're really close. And even then, never all of it. You must think I'm a psycho… And you're right. I'm fucked. Even though I pretend I'm not…''

Rubbing his hair in that nervous gesture, he sighed again.

''Man, I hate being all vulnerable. I wish we could start this whole day over and erase all the crap…''

Defeated, Jasper laid his head down on his arms again, curling into himself.

_[HCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHC]_

In a surprising moment of clarity, Edward KNEW what he had to do.

Before he could think anymore, he launched himself. For once, he was sure of the right course of action.

Jasper was feeling like crap because he'd laid himself bare.

It was only fair for Edward to do the same, to share his own embarrassing secrets. Maybe it would help Jasper feel better, even the playing field so to say.

''Jasper, no! I wasn't… the reason I got so mad is… watching you pounding tha-that guy's ass… it mma-mmade me fucking horny. You were so bubbubbbbeau-beau-beautttt…... HOT! '' It was an old trick, when a word got desperately snarled, switch to another one. Fuck, he hadn't stuck like that in years.

He had also never come out before, so that probably explained it… Which was understandable, since he wasn't gay. Still wasn't. Or was he? Edward's head hurt from the confusion.

Determined, Edward pushed on. ''The way you moved, the look on your face… he was so hard! I wa-wanted… It made me hurt, I was so turned on.''

''And I'm NOT gay,'' he continued angrily.'' I've never even thought of another guy like that. And now…''

''I'm a homophobe Jasper.'' He pinched the bridge of his nose. ''Not openly, but the thought of two guys…. It makes me sick. It MADE me sick. Until last night. And it's all you're fault! I don't WANT to be gay! How could I be a fairy and not know it?'' Edward wailed.

It was Edward's turn to lower his head, wallowing in self-pity. He wasn't expecting a hand on his shoulder, and yelped embarrassingly at the contact, lurching. Fuck, he really was turning into a _chick_.

''Edward,'' Jasper's voice was calm and soothing. ''It's okay, Edward. I'm not judging you. I'm glad you told me.''

Jasper placed his hand softly back on Edward's shoulder.

This time, he didn't jump away.

''You don't like things to surprise you. And now you can't even trust your own self? No wonder you freaked out.''

Jasper's hand was really warm, the heat soaking through the thin fabric of Edward's shirt. It was… comforting.

Jasper struggled to push all the ugly memories back into the dark hole they came from, the one that wormed right through his middle. It helped to focus on Edward and his issues. Jasper had always been good at helping others. Concentrating on someone else's pain was a distraction from his own, a puzzle to solve. _What did Edward need right now?_ Jasper's bitter past was getting less overwhelming, pushed aside on his list of mental priorities. It was temporary, Jasper knew. He'd have to deal later.

First, he had to get through the shoot. And that meant getting Edward through it too. Emotional anguish really wasn't good for erections...

He was actually a bit impressed by the other man. Jasper had already guessed Edward had enjoyed the show. He hadn't expected him to actually find the courage to say it though.

''You're not gay, Edward. ''

Jasper's voice was so certain Edward raised his head to stare at him incredulously. He'd just admitted to getting aroused by men fucking, for God's sake!

Jasper stared right back, not phased at all.

''You AREN'T. You_ can't be gay_. With the amount of girls you've fucked, Edward, it's impossible. Someone truly homosexual would never have been able to get it up. Maybe a few times, sure. But to choose to make a living out of it? ''

Jasper's hand started to make slow circles on his back, like one would pet a horse. It worked too, relaxing him.

Edward thought for a bit, before heaving a breath of relief. Of course Jasper was right.

He couldn't be gay!Ha!

''You might be bi though.''

Jasper's serene words dashed Edward's soaring spirits before he could truly feel buoyant.

Jasper smiled, explaining, ''It doesn't have to be all black or all white, Edward! I'm somewhere in the middle, if you're wondering. I don't know how much is caused by circumstance, if things had been different, maybe… Anyway, I don't mind having sex with guys. Generally, girls will attract me first. But there have been a few men…''

''I don't deny myself, Edward. I'm honest. I don't have a label for what I am, and I don't want one. I don't do regrets anymore. If I ever get into a relationship with a man, well, I'm going to be just as committed as with a woman… And if it's only for the sex, then that's fine too. I don't half-ass it. I live every moment, no more lying. To me. Or others. And if they don't like it, they can go to hell.''

Jasper's words were delivered calmly, like always, but Edward could feel the weight behind every single one of them.

How Edward wished he could be so sure about things.

He envied Jasper his self-assurance. It wasn't a façade. It was pure confidence that stemmed from the knowledge of his worth and the hard battles he won to get there.

Jasper was a survivor.

He had the right to be proud.

''You don't have to figure it out right now, Edward. You don't have to ever push this further! You touched something yesterday, something you didn't know about your sexuality. It's there, sure. But it can remain just a fluke, a once-in-a-lifetime. That's cool too!''

Jasper unfolded himself from the steps, extending a hand toward Edward.

Boosting him up, he added; ''Just so you know, I would never do anything to you that you didn't want. Especially not on camera! Alice would have my head… Alice is a scary midget, man!''

Edward managed a weak smile, having just been through Alice's wrath that morning, although it seemed months ago.

''Seriously, man, I promise to keep my hands to myself.'' Jasper swore solemnly, hiding a twinge of contrition . Truthfully, Edward WAS incredibly hot and if Jasper could keep his actions in check, he knew his eyes would wander and most likely his thoughts would too.

Oh well, he couldn't exactly control his fantasies now, could he?

Especially since they would be naked and hard, together in the same bed…

* * *

><p><em>Ah, much better. Edward is starting to sort himself out. Change is hard... and slow... but it's a start! <em>You'll be meeting Bella, Angela and Emmett next week!<em>_

_And according to Wiki: "Transgender" does not imply any specific form of sexual orientation; transgender people may identify as heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, pansexual, polysexual, or asexual; some may consider conventional sexual orientation labels inadequate or inapplicable to them.'' No wonder poor Edward was mixed up._


	6. Chapter 5 : Wood and Walkmans

_Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, but I call dibs on Titlight!_

_A major thanks to **Laverett**, who braved turkeys, too many relatives and migraines to Beta..._

_Well, the boys relationship is progressing, it seems. Just a few more things to set in place, Emmett and Rose and Angela all HAD to be introduced and Alice wanted you to know her great porn film plot idea... *sigh* Is there a support group for authors getting bullied by their characters? Sign me up!_

_ Next week, we see skin! Promise._

* * *

><p>The boy's return into the studio was quiet, and rather subdued.<p>

Alice asked simply, '' You guys good?''

Apparently, their nods and shrugs were convincing, because she didn't push any further, returning her attention to the set.

Edward slid into the make-up chair that Bella had vacated, and as if summoned by magic, Angela appeared. She was quite beautiful, Edward thought, but it was hard to be sure. The girl rocked a heavy_ punk-gothy-emo _look (or whatever the trend that required pale faces, smudged eye-liner, jagged jet-black hair that hung in your face, a nose stud, and Doc Martens was called these days.)

Geez, Edward felt old sometimes. He couldn't even correctly identify all the current social subgroups that made or broke you in high school…

He had actually heard a song that had been his favorite in junior-high played in a ''Memories'' show! Edward remembered listening to it, recorded by him, from the radio, on an _actual tape_. He even remembered how he hated sticking a Bic pen in the plastic hole to rewind it when it jammed in the cassette player.

He'd been soooo excited by his first walkman! The thing had been a trendy banana yellow color, with ear phones -not ear buds- that had a cushion of itchy plastic matting on the ear pieces. Heck that fine piece of technology could probably have fit an I-pod right in the tape deck… He'd been so cool…

*sigh*

Before Edward could ask Angela what kind of music she liked, she shut him up with a powder brush the size of his head. It was either shut up and close your eyes, or die by foundation inhalation.

Funny how closing you eyes made all the other senses sharper. Angela's powder had a faint mineral smell, vaguely floral. The brush caressed his skin in a tickly way, making him want to sneeze.

''My wood! Where's my wood? I need wood, RIGHT NOW!''

He could hear Alice ranting on just fine, although Edward really felt she should make up her mind.

Half an hour ago, she's been mad because he had wood, now she seemed about epileptic because she didn't have it. Maybe she had PMS. Chicks did that sometimes.

Under Alice's raving, closer, he heard footsteps, followed by the creak of the chair beside him as someone got on. He caught a whiff of Jasper's cologne. Yum. Edward thought he could just make out Jasper's soft breaths, when he broke the silence.

''My god, what is her problem today? Poor Emmett…''

Finally allowed to open his eyes, Edward saw that the other man was indeed perched beside him. The high stool made his legs look sinfully long, stretched out forever in front of him, crossed at the ankles.

Edward gulped.

He would most certainly not allow his eyes to follow the enticing path that started at Jasper's worn boots, up up up those dark blue jeans to… nothing of interest at all. Nope! Nothing to see here folks, move along!

Edward forced his thoughts back to Alice. Was it hot in here?

She was still fussing at Emmet like he was disobedient toddler. A six foot one who was shaped like the Hulk.

''Look out the window. No, Emmett, the FAKE window on set. That's where Jasper will be standing. On the imaginary balcony!''

She sighed, loudly enough that Edward heard it from across the room.

''Em, look what you put up behind it! A fake night sky backdrop! Just how do you think Jasper managed to climb up? Huh? He didn't just jump up two stories! He's not a fucking vampire yet! There was supposed to be a tree there. I need branches. Where's my wood?''

Her tone turned pleading, the ultimate weapon of feminine control. Edward wondered what kind of expression Emmett was making.

''Please, Em, you've got to help me. Find me a couple branches or something… Pleeeeeaaassseee….''

Seconds later, the man stomped by, grumbling about how no-one was going to notice a fucking tree with a threesome on the fucking bed, and if they did she better fire all the goddamn actors… The rest dissolved into a bass rumble of annoyance, cut off by the fire exit door clanging shut.

Emmett was the prop guy/handy man/do-whatever-needs-doing-resource on set. Which, apparently, included finding a tree today.

The guy was brawny, and he kinda looked like an angry bear as he stalked by. Emmett favored torn jeans, plaid shirts and construction boots. It suited him. So did the light stubble on his jaw. He was also usually very placid and calm, gentle even.

Jasper had to admit Alice had guts, yelling at someone three times her size. Emmett was impressive. Huge. And tall. With his shape, he could easily have been starring in her movies; there was definitely a market for monster manly guys.

Unless Emmett had a wee weenie?

_Nope_, Jasper shook his head.

Somehow, that just seemed impossible. It didn't fit. Emmett was hung, no doubt about it. Jasper had a reliable peen-dar.

He couldn't wait to check out Edward's… It had his peen-dar dinging at _Mouthwatering!_

_[HCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHC]_

Bella strutting back broke their quiet musings.

Edward raked his gaze slowly up her slender form.

Alice, or maybe it was Rose, anyway whoever had styled her, had done an amazing job.

Bella looked absolutely delicious.

In this scene, she was meant to look _simple-housewife-girl-next-door-y_.

She was wearing a long summer dress of a sheer material with little flowers on it. It was light and flowy (Edward wondered if that was a word? Flowy? Man, what did people do without Google? ) yet it hugged in all the right places. There was a zillion little white buttons down the front, and a simple gold chain around her neck. Her hair was pulled back in a shiny ponytail, and her perfect little toes were peeking out of strappy brown leather sandals.

She looked young and fresh and _innocent_; it made Edward want to claim her. A strong male possessive instinct in him awoke, which was unexpected.

MINE.

Edward yearned to… corrupt her.

He filed that thought away for another day; he'd had enough insight about his darker instincts to analyze for one day…Anyway, Bella also distractingly affected other strong male parts of his anatomy…

Jasper sat up straighter too, his spark revived, all trace of the dismal shell from earlier definitely gone.

''You look gorgeous hun,'' he drawled, getting up and gentlemanly helping her into his vacated seat.

She hummed in satisfaction, making Edward curse his slow reflexes.

Jasper had a point on him.

Except, he reminded himself, there was no competition. They would both be fucking her. Together. _Ugh._

''So,'' Bella began, ''how do you guys want to play this?''

''Well, Alice was pretty clear in her script, I think.''

Jasper was first to answer again, Edward having drifted into a daydream of savagely ripping all those little buttons open, pinging off in every direction and exposing whatever sexy-innocent lingerie she had on underneath...

When they both stared at him, he nodded belatedly.

Alice DID have a story line, and it was actually original for porn, if complete fantasy.

Bella was cast as Kristen, who was the wife of Jasper's character- Jackson. He caught her with her lover, Edward's role –Robert, and escaped to the bad side of town for some angry drunk revenge-loving. There, he hooked up with a bad ass girl, who was also a vampire, and got turned. Jackson eventually returned home and turned his wife into a vampire too.

It was still unclear what happened to Robert, Alice had left it up to ''Creative fucking inspiration''. Edward thought she meant that literally, having him fuck whoever inspired her. Or maybe die, if he couldn't get it up…

Anyway, vampires were fucking hot. Edward hoped he'd be cast as one.

Jasper and Bella were still looking expectantly at him. There had been a question… Edward scrambled to remember, visuals of pretty dresses getting ripped open still filling his mind.

Oh yeah, the scene. Bella wanted to plan the sex. Edward spoke quickly, trying to make up for his distraction.

''I think we just start getting it on,'' Edward waved his hand between himself and Bella, ''you know, kissing, making out. I love oral, if you're okay with that? Anything you won't do?''

Bella shrugged, ''Nothing too weird. I don't like being skull-fucked by force. No pissing. I don't snow-ball. Anything Alice would like, in general, I'm down with.''

Jasper winced in disgust. Ew. Pissing was just… ew.

Edward nodded in agreement. Ew was right. ''Anyway, Robert and Kristen are totally into each other, we don't notice him. Jackson is watching from the balcony. Then, later, he'll join in… I… ummm… I think I want to start st-st-standing up?''

''Oh, great idea! It'll make a nice visual impact! I'm sure Alice will love it!''

How the heck did Rose manage to sneak up on them in sky high fucking stilettos?

Edward hoped people thought the sound from him had been a cough.

It was NOT a squeak.

Nope, definitely not.

Men didn't squeak. It was a cough.

Ahem.

Jasper was watching him with sparkles dancing in his changing hazel eyes, but he didn't say anything, grabbing a long lock of Bella's hair and twirling it round his finger.

Rose continued ''I hope you got your game back, Edward. I'm not going to tolerate a diva attitude; I'm the one who has to sell you. If you start acting like a spoiled braaaattt…''

The usually harsh expression on his agent's face melted away into a surprisingly mellow one as her words faded.

Flipping around to see what in the world she was staring at, Edward spotted only Emmett, walking back into the studio. He was carrying what looked like a fucking tree on his shoulder. A WHOLE tree. And not a little one either! Edward could see the veins in his biceps as they strained, his shoulders bulging with muscle. He must practically live at the gym to be so ripped…There was a faint sheen of sweat on his forehead and he looked immensely satisfied with himself.

Where the fuck had the guy found a tree in the middle of the city?

Rose was still staring awestruck, when Jasper whistled softly and called out ''Need a hand?''

Once more, Edward cursed himself. Jasper was so much smoother than him, helpful and well-mannered… Although, the look in his eyes was definitely _calculating._

Edward realized with a start that Jasper was enjoying Emmett's muscle display.

So was ice-queen Rose, it seemed.

Maybe she was sick...

God, Edward hoped it wasn't catching. He HATED sickness. Sweaty, coughing, germ laden mucus spewing colds… ugh. And stomach bugs… Edward determined he hated puking more than drippy noses.

Before Edward could imagine worse illnesses to explain Rose's state, Alice started jumping up and down in joy at the sight of her tree. Like a shihtzu bouncing around, or a three year old at Christmas!

Seriously.

What about being professional?

She hovered protectively while Emmett worked to set it up behind the cardboard wall.

Then it was all last-minute face powdering and light tests, cameras rolling in

3-2-1…

ACTION!

_[HCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHC]_

* * *

><p><em>Patience, my friends, patience! Check out all the goodies at the<strong> Twikink Fest<strong> to get your smut fix... _

**http:/ twikinkfest** [dot]** tumblr** [dot] **com/**

_I couldn't determine if flowy is a word or not - sorry Edward! It's listed in the online dictionaries (Wicktionary, Urban Dictionary etc) as an adjective. It is NOT in my paper-edition Webster where they cite flowing and flowingly as the derivatives. It doesn't appear in the Microsoft Word dictionary either. So... meh. I dunno... _

__Review if you've ever owned a banana-yellow Walkman !__


	7. Chapter 6: Courtesy Masturbation

_Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, but I call dibs on Titlight!_

_Many thanks to the amazing **Laverett, **for the double-Beta ! (More on that later!)_

_Also, thanks to **Sugaray** for raising a very valid point in her review, which I have tried to address in this chapter. Constructive feedback is always welcome!_

_Finally, a word of **WARNING**. This story is rated M._

_The following chapter contains graphic depiction of **SEXUAL ACTS**. Het sex not your thing? Many different pairings and types of encounters still to cum! Underage? What are you doing here? Go Google Justin Bieber or something..._

* * *

><p>Edward grabbed Bella's hand and led her through the fake door, carefully closing it without making the flimsy décor wobble too badly. She giggled and hushed him, reminding him how her husband would be back soon.<p>

''Then let's not waste any more time, Krissy.'' Edward pitched his voice low and smooth, girls found that sexy…

''Cut.''

''Edward, it's Kristen.''

''Sorry. ''

Edward took a deep breath, visualizing a bubble and forcing all the craziness from the past night, from that morning, all the Jasper craving and sexual identity weirdness, into it and mentally floating it off.

Right now, it was all about Bella-Kristen and making love with her.

He moved forward, pushing her back flush against the four poster bed.

Edward concentrated only on her, on her smell, on her softness. He ignored the bright lights, the glimpses of movement as the camera guys shuffled around, the occasional cough from the shadows.

It was time for some Headward magic…

Edward ran his hands down her ass and finally did as he'd been itching to do since he first spotted her in that dress. He slid his hand under the draped fabric, dragging it up slowly and exposing her long slim leg.

Bella had been a dancer before turning to film, a real dancer with classical training. It was part of her appeal; the girl knew how to present her body.

She obligingly pointed her toes and arched her back, humming as his hand roamed up and down her thigh. The light fabric cascaded around them, as she hitched her leg over Edward's hip. Pressing closer, Edward filled himself with her rich vanilla scent.

He tightened his arm around her back, supporting her when she bent further, a graceful curve that exposed her neck and displayed her cleavage. It called to him.

Instead, Edward dragged his tongue down the column of her throat, hearing her breath stutter when he licked the hollow at the base.

He could imagine the picture they made; it was what made him so good as a porn actor according to Rose. He could step outside himself and be objective, doing what would shine best on film.

Because of that, Edward sighed and resisted the urge to pick Bella up to wrap her legs around his waist. He knew it would ruin the elegant image, even if the need to support both their weights prevented him from getting any satisfying friction where he was starting to need it pretty bad.

Instead, Edward focused on his free hand, noticing how his splayed fingers nearly spanned her delicate side, dragging them up to curl around her breast. Cupping it, he gently bounced the soft weight in his palm, enjoying the smallish pliancy, a rarity in their industry.

Edward kneaded Bella's soft tit, making himself be gentle when the urge to pinch and twist surged with her breathy moan.

Fuck, he wanted to mark her.

He throbbed fully erect now. He'd been hard for fucking-ever it seemed, and his cock was getting demanding. It scared him a bit, this primitive carnal feeling, tugging at his willpower.

Continuing his exploration, Edward grinned in glee; Bella wasn't wearing a bra!

Naughty naughty Bella.

Krissy.

Kristen.

Whatever.

Oh, this was a great opportunity for something different. Alice wanted a show?

Rather than ripping the dress open like he craved, Edward placed his mouth on the soft swell, OVER the cloth. At first he just blew hot air, eliciting a surprised ''Robert !''

She was good, she kept character better than he did. Edward could practically feel Alice nodding in approval.

Encouraged, he flicked his tongue and applied suction through the fabric. The faint citrusy tang of soap wasn't unpleasant as the texture of Bella's nipple changed. It fascinated him; the more he licked and probed the harder and longer it grew. Teasing, Edward purposely dragged his teeth where Bella ached, until her fingers yanked painfully in his hair.

He didn't allow himself to be distracted by the renewed feeling of prickles running over him. Jasper had arrived, it seemed, and he was doing the fire-stare thing again.

Edward pretended not to notice, concentrating until he was sure the cloth was soaked and Bella was squirming involuntarily against him. Finally, he pulled away with a smirk, watching in satisfaction the obscene spectacle he had created. Just like he'd imagined, the dress, now turned sheer, clung wetly and did little to hide the darker color and sharply engorged nipple beneath.

Edward huffed a bit, sinking his teeth not-that-gently into the swell of her breast as he fought down another wave of lust, of need to possess.

A very masculine groan was what broke him.

Jasper.

It was all his fault.

Again.

Edward had managed to ignore his spectator so far, but making sexy noises like that just wasn't fair game. Edward wondered if Jasper was touching himself… A sudden flashback of the intense expression he'd seen on Jasper's face in his movies was the final drop.

Just like that, Edward's control snapped.

He had to be inside Bella, right the fuck NOW.

All the waiting, postponing, pushing aside his desire suddenly exploded into pure urgent need. Edward couldn't see, couldn't think, he could just FEEL.

Rapidly standing up, Edward tugged his shirt off. He wasn't slow and sensual, he didn't give a damn about camera angles.

He needed naked, NOW.

Fumbling with his belt, he used his other hand to turn a surprised Bella around. Her eyes were huge and dark, but she willingly allowed herself to be bent over the bed.

Finally getting his pants undone, Edward used both hands to rake the long dress up to the small of her back, exposing her upturned ass.

_Delicious._

He cupped the cheeks in his hands, feeling their firm softness. Bella had lovely skin, so pale and flawless. Edward purposely dug his fingers in, watching as their mark grew red, and then paled.

He didn't waste any more time, pulling her G-string to the side and sinking two fingers into her slit. He grunted at the slick feeling. Man, she was wet. He'd known it.

His cock jerked, demanding entry right the fuck NOW.

Tugging the elastic of his shorts under his balls, Edward held himself by the base and lined up. God, his cock was hard. There was a shiny drop of pre-cum on the engorged head, poised to fall off into a translucent string. Edward smeared it roughly over Bella's left cheek, watching the sparkly trail it left behind.

_Fuuuucccck._

As he aligned them again, Edward suddenly jolted back to reality.

This was work, a movie scene, he couldn't just… Stumbling backwards awkwardly, he called out ''Cut!''

''Fuck, _CUT_.''

Edward's voice was hoarse and his dick violently protested the cock-block. He kept a soothing hand there, stroking slowly as he waited for the urgency to subside a bit.

''Co-condom… Angela?'' Edward panted. ''_Mother-fuck_.''

Edward gripped his pants with one hand and his dick with the other, trying to still himself. He knew that he was dancing from foot to foot because of the intensity of desire roiling in his belly. Sucking in his abdomen and filling his ribcage to the max, he elongated his spine, making himself taller. Edward vainly tried to give more room to the ball of crackling tension that licked around his hips. Jesus, it had NEVER been this bad before...

He stepped out of the glare of the spotlights, and like ripples on a pond it spread alertness through the studio. After a few seconds, Alice and Rose converged on him, yammering excitedly. Angela raced for hairpins. Bella…

Edward didn't dare glance back. He doubted his ability to wait any longer if he did. He'd apologize later…

Jasper walking out from behind the poster-board wall and blatantly palming the rigid length in his dress pants didn't help Edward's state either.

Edward felt suspended, time had slowed for him.

_[HCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHC]_

At the same time, it whizzed by in fast motion. It seemed barely a few seconds later that he was stripping, still uncomfortably erect.

Bella was gleaming porcelain too, luminous in the shadows. She giggled as Angela dabbed dark shadow between her boobs, giving the illusion of more cleavage, then down the center of her abs.

''Trade secrets!''

Rose slapped both him and Jasper upside the head for good measure, growling, '' If you speak, we will have to search you down and do awful things.''

Jasper saluted '' Yes, Ma'am!''

Edward grinned at her, she was joking.

He received a frosty stare in return.

Joking. Surely. Of course.

She had to be.

Right?

''HEY, guys! Time to prep, we're shooting in a few minutes.'' Alice winked at Edward. ''Although I think you're pretty ready… ''

Jasper obediently undid his pants, tugging his mostly softened dick. Edward looked quickly, then got caught staring. Jasper had a pretty one.

Nicely long and straight. He joked as he worked himself to full erection.

Edward gripped himself too, stroking lightly. Alice was right. He didn't need it. He was courtesy masturbating with Jasper, it could be awkward if you were the only one in a room whacking.

''So. _Headward_, huh? That's original! Any particular reason?''

Jasper moved closer, still tugging steadily. ''Hmmm.'' He said.

''What? What? Stop that, man.'' Edward was decidedly uncomfortable; Jasper was leaning over him, peering at his crotch. He squirmed, wanting to step back.

Edward also had to really concentrate to seem somewhat relaxed and normal. Having Jasper jerking off so close made his head swim with contradictory impulses… What if Jasper closed his fist around BOTH their dicks? What would THAT feel like? _Gah._

Not.

Gay.

Remember?

''Just trying to see what all the fuss is about,'' Jasper whined.

Edward stopped stroking long enough to proudly display his swollen member. The head wasn't anything special actually, but Headward sounded so much like his real name he knew he would respond to it on set.

Jasper seemed to drink the sight in, biting his lower lip. Fuck.

Edward had seen that expression before, right before Jasper sank into all those upturned asses in the gay vids. There was even a GIF or two, if he remembered correctly...

Edward firmly steered his thoughts away.

He refused to go down that lane, it was too… unsettling. He was feeling better after their heart-to-heart, but he still needed time to think stuff over. Which he couldn't do while fucking Bella. Especially with Jasper participating.

Trying to maintain normalcy, Edward asked Jasper:

''So, did you see the game on Friday?''

The other man stopped staring at Edward's dick to stare at his face. It was just as bad. Edward could feel himself blushing.

''No.'' Jasper answered casually. ''I was fucking Bella on Friday.''

''Right.''

Silence returned again, as they stood silently working their cocks. It allowed the soft wet sounds their fists made to be heard. _Not good!_ Fuck, not good at all.

Edward desperately tried to pursue their stilted conversation.

''Now that's a porn name if I ever heard one. _Bella Swan_. Wonder what her real name is?''

''Isabella.'' Jasper sounded breathless. He was quite hard by then. Not that Edward checked.

At this point, Bella was declared ready by Angela, and appeared with a bottle of lube. Jasper swept it up with a grand ''Shall I assist you, my Lady?'' that made her giggle.

He carefully spread it on his fingers, making them glisten. Edward's chest felt tight as Jasper pushed his fingers deep into Bella with a soft kiss to the side of her neck. The way he stared at Edward, working his fingers to prep her, made him shudder. The blond man's expression was so intense, unreadable…

Edward couldn't explain it, how seeing the visual effects of arousal turned him on. It was primal, instinctive. He liked seeing girls pussies weep for him, even got turned on by seeing his own dick leaking thick tears of need. As for Jasper's dick… Edward groaned._ Fuck_. Not going there. _Again._

He pushed his thoughts instead to Rose and Alice's wine-induced psychoanalysis theory on how so many germy things bugged him, yet he could do porn and all the bodily fluid exchanges it required without being bothered.

They had decided that it was because when he was Headward, he stopped thinking. It was his perfectionist, neurotic side that tended to overthink stuff and imagine all the possibilities, all the worst-case scenarios. When he was thinking with his little head, he didn't worry about it because he didn't rationalize.

It kinda made sense.

It made sense, if you discounted the fact that following those insightful comments, the girls had proceeded to strip and run down the hallway, then paint Edward's toenails every color of the rainbow, before collapsing asleep curled around the living room lamp. A lamp whom they'd named _Queen of the Night_...

Maybe they were right.

Or maybe he just had a pervy power-kink.

Edward shrugged off the pyschobabble as he headed back into the spotlight. Time for Headward to come out and play. Finally.

Jasper disappeared behind the fake wall.

It was back to the bed, only this time Bella was kneeling and they were both naked and adequately protected.

''And... 3-2-1- ACTION!''

_[HCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHC]_

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><p><em>OMG! YOU CAN'T STOP THERE! As a reader, I have to agree. But as a writer, for the sake of consistency and chapter length, I HAD to. But don't get the torches and pitchforks out just yet. Imma compromise, 'kay? I'm going to <strong>double-post<strong> again. You get another update tomorrow! (Sunday) So hang in there... relief is on the way! See you soon!_


	8. Chapter 7: Threesomes and things

_Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, but I call dibs on Titlight!_

_Many thanks to my amazing Beta, **Laverett,** for clearing up the movie dialogue despite an overwhelming urge to insert 100 Monkeys references. You make me laugh..._

_I couldn't make you wait, it was just too mean. So after posting in the middle of the night, I'm posting again a few hours later. You can thank reviewer **ChefJayla** for making my guilt get the better of me... _

_So, again, **WARNING**. Rated M. Graphic depictions of **SEXUAL ACTS**. (Alright, alright... shutting up now! lol)_

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><p>''Oh Kristen! ''<p>

Edward plunged deep into Bella, the lube that had been added during break making it look natural and effortless. The groan he shuddered through was genuine though.

It felt glorious. Warm and tight, she gripped him on every stroke.

And stroke he did. He was back in control, this was his element. He set a deep and steady pace. In, out, he could go on forever.

He looked down at his glistening rod as it disappeared between her cheeks. It was good. But it wasn't overwhelming; this was familiar territory for him. He placed a kiss between her shoulder blades; the vanilla scent was softer here, mixing with the faint salt of sweat.

Bella was relaxed beneath him, moaning softly. Thank god she wasn't a screecher! Their interaction felt natural, familiar. Edward knew it would show on film too. Bella's ponytail taunted him, swishing with their movements.

He focused on thrusting, blissfully unaware of his surroundings again.

He was so engrossed he had actually forgotten about Jasper, and nearly jumped out of his skin when the blond appeared, climbing in through the opened window. At least he didn't squeak that time. Not that he'd ever squeaked in surprise before… What the fuck was up with Alice? She should have cut again, giving more time for prepping before starting up again.

''Jackson!'' Bella's voice was breathy. ''What are you… How come you… Welcome home honey!''

Jasper didn't answer; he was staring at them.

Edward froze, burying himself inside Bella's body. The moment stretched, and Edward started to feel nervous. They were supposed to fuck, all together, but how did they get there? What was the script again?

Alice wanted natural…

Fuck, what was the dialogue?

_Get in character, get in character_. What would you do if the husband walked in on you?

Edward's mind was blank, and he was starting to panic. Jasper continued to stand there, fully dressed and visibly aroused, seemingly trying to burn their picture into his mind.

''I… um… I guess I'll go…'' Edward hedged, still joined. He made as if to disengage, gritting his teeth.

Jasper spoke then, his voice vibrating.

''No. ''

''Don't stop.'' His face might have been calm, but he burned with unnamed emotion. ''I want to see. I need to know why... Why I wasn't enough for B-Kristen. How he's A Better Man than me.''

''It's not that you aren't enough! It's that you're never here!'' Bella's words sounded genuine, anguished. ''I've felt so alone, so insignificant. You and your big important job… Jackson, I needed, I_ need_ you.''

She sniffed. ''And you didn't seem to care, I tried to tell you! But you didn't, you _wouldn't_ listen!''

Edward was frozen, this sounded much too real. He couldn't remember if it had been in the script? His heart pounded.

''Robert is… so nice to me. So caring. He makes me feel special. He takes care of me. I didn't do it to hurt you. I loved you! But it wasn't enough… _I _wasn't, I'm not enough...'' Bella trailed off brokenly…

All was silent.

Jasper's shoes thudded heavily onto the floor. He moved with feline grace, making the bed dip as he climbed on. Roughly grabbing Bella's chin, he pulled her to him for a possessive kiss. Edward remained still, buried deep inside her pussy, while Jasper released her mouth with a gasp.

He straightened, tossing his suit jacket in the general direction of an armchair. The air felt heavy with anticipation as he pulled his erect dick and balls through the opening of his pants, fixing the button again to hold them up.

It made Edward acutely aware of his nudity, having Jasper fully clothed with only Bella between them, bridging the gap. Edward felt the shift as she bent to swallow the other man.

Edward remained motionless, listening to the wet slurps and suction created by her blowjob. The urge to move grew steadily as she lurched a bit, balancing herself on one arm. Jasper's eyes were closed, head pitched back as he loosened the buttons on his white shirt.

Time stretched again, as Bella continued her oral attentions.

Edward watched the muscles in her shoulder move, the way her body unconsciously realigned itself to her one-armed stance. Jasper's fingers played along her cheekbone, flickered down her chin.

Jasper was mostly quiet, but his breathing sped up. His eyes hooded as he stared down at Bella pleasuring him.

Edward was really beginning to burn, yet for some reason, he couldn't make himself intrude on their moment. He couldn't explain why he maintained an agonizing immobility. His ass flexed despite himself.

Bella's pussy was growing wetter; her moans weren't completely faked it seemed.

She rippled around him, pulsing. Edward's hands clenched in reflex need, the jutting resistance of her hipbones in his palms contrasting the feel of his fingertips pressing into the yielding softness of her belly. He groaned in desperation, sweating. He STILL waited though, no longer coherent enough to wonder why by then.

Jasper's hand suddenly wrapped around his forearm and Edward found himself jerked into a stare-down. His breath caught and energy twanged between them. A flush spread over Jasper's sharp cheekbones, and Edward wondered briefly if he was going to try to kiss him. It was what the moment_ felt_ like, that timeless stretch before a soul-wrenching kiss.

Jasper didn't though, exhaling shakily and biting his bottom lip.

He released Edward's forearm, his hand trailing up Bella's spine, then wrapping around her tantalizing ponytail. Purposely moving back, he pulled her forward, unbalancing her. Jasper then shoved himself back into her mouth, pushing her whole body backwards. Her ass connected with Edward's thighs with a slap, and suddenly he was free, unfrozen.

Edward started moving his hips again, a faster rhythm than before.

He couldn't help the groans this time, no matter how he tried to keep them down. How the fuck did Jasper manage to be so silent? Bella was moaning freely, her sounds higher pitched and muffled by Jasper's dick.

It all started to unravel then.

Edward stroked, but his moves weren't so graceful as before. His abs and thighs were locked in a block, his movements stiff and unnatural as he tried to simultaneously do two opposing things. His body screamed for him to go faster, harder, deeper. It instinctively pushed him to finish, pushed to plant his seed. His mind willed him to slow down, to give a good show, he was a _fucking actor_!

The contradicting impulses resulted in stilted, short choppy thrusts, as he tried to continue pistoning while containing his ominous orgasm.

Fuck, they were just getting started.

Alice would kill him...

Edward tried to distract himself from the tight knot as his balls rose.

_Keep your eyes open and your mouth shut_.

Not_ keep your left eye open and right toe twitchin'. _That just looked weird...

Focus.

_Eyes open and mouth shut. _Edward knew that if he could do that, he wouldn't come easily.

Pleasure made your mouth fall open and your eyes close if you let it take over. He repeated the mantra, breath puffing through his nose as grunting noises kept stirring in his throat. In. Out_. Eyes open, mouth shut_. In. Fuck he wanted to come. Out.

Jasper was close to losing control too.

It was all his fault.

_Edward's._

Usually, Jasper was relaxed, a patient lover. Except he'd always been sensitive to others emotions… And watching Edward teetering on the line was pushing his buttons. The urgency he gave off weighed heavily on Jasper's chest, making it hard to breathe.

Holy fuck.

An objective part of Jasper was ruefully respectful of him to have lasted that long without calling a break. Edward really was a pro. Or maybe he was just goddamn stubborn. Jasper could smell the masculine scent grow stronger, the woodsy cologne barely masking the scent of Edward as he glistened, abs contracting.

Alice had apparently decided to let them go at it, she hadn't said a single peep since waving at him to climb through the window.

Breathing deep, Jasper willed himself to absorb some of Edward's need, pulling it into himself, feeling it whirl inside his belly and make his toes curl. The pleasure shimmered between them, overlying all the anger, the unruly emotions, and the desire from earlier.

Bella was whining continuously around his dick. Her eyes were closed and her lips strained, applying suction. Jasper reached down to grasp a swinging boob, roughly kneading it.

Maybe he should call break for Edward?

No, if _Headward_ didn't relent and call it, Jasper wouldn't. Because he didn't need it for himself. Not at all. He wasn't fucking close at all. God, his dick hurt.

It continued timelessly, a precarious balance. Jasper tempered Edward's urgency just enough for them to keep riding the wave.

They could do this.

Felix, the cameraman, was now lying on the floor alongside the creaking bed, getting close-ups. Jasper could see his pants tenting, which was a good sign. He was pretty unobtrusive usually, and not always aroused by the scenes he filmed. Felix was one of the best, often artistically catching little details, reactions that others didn't. Alice was right to let him focus as he chose, having another cameraman filming the inevitable penetration close-ups.

The frail equilibrium was ruptured in a way that neither Jasper or Edward had anticipated...

Bella, moving sinuously between the two men, didn't have any reservations at all.

Tearing Jasper's dick from her mouth, she panted ''Oh my God! Yes! Yes! I'm… I'm cumming! ''

She wasn't faking either.

It was too much then. Jasper couldn't deal with both Bella's and Edward's lust combined. He throbbed, Bella's hand gripping his member as she moaned her pleasure. He pinched her nipple, going for broke.

''Oh yeah, that's it baby. Cum for us. Mmm. '' Jasper egged her on huskily.

She trembled, nails digging into his pubes, moaning.

A look of pained uncertainty flashed onto Edward's features. Jasper knew his dilemma. Bella was undoubtedly clenching strongly, growing even hotter and sloppier. Already wavering on sensory overload, Edward was torn between pulling out, ruining her orgasm, or plowing through it, pushing himself over.

Bella wouldn't be mad if he pulled out; it was part of the movie industry. She'd understand. Male ejaculation was something to catch in HD in all its spewing glory. A girl having a real orgasm was just a bonus... But he didn't WANT to ruin her pleasure, it went against his nature. And then he'd waited too long and the choice was gone.

Edward slipped passed the point of no return.

Grabbing the base of his aching dick, he continued to drive into Bella through her ecstasy, grinding his teeth and delaying the flow of his release. He squeezed his muscles shut, fighting for those few extra moments._ Fuck,_ his balls were tight, contracting rhythmically, trying to force the fluid out.

Frantically, he tried to anchor himself. Found solace in Jasper's burning gaze. It grounded him, gave him the strength to wait another few heartbeats.

As soon as Bella calmed a bit though, he pulled out. Grappling with the condom, he shook his dick at empty air, hissing.

''Cumming, fuck, cuuuumming!'' he breathed in the general direction of the dark shadows surrounding the bed, hoping one of the cameramen was quick enough to zoom in.

There just wasn't any holding it back.

He supposed it was Jasper's doing when suddenly Bella was lying under him, flipped onto her back and lovely breasts offered.

Shivering, Edward released his prick and pumped once, twice…

Darkness closed in on him as he finally erupted. Shuddering with irresistible pleasure, he spilled. Finally. Ooooh, it was good. The pleasure was edged with … some bitter sweet emotion. Spurt after spurt had him grunting as the fog slowly lifted, cobwebbed with light...

''Al, I'm going to finish too, okay?'' Jasper's words barely registered. ''I'm fucking close, I don't wanna wait.''

And then Jasper was pumping furiously beside him. His spicy scent bathed over Edward, making his head spin. Jasper bent over in pleasure, quivering, then slipped a strong arm around Edward's back to force himself up to a kneeling position. _Fucking camera angles._ Edward twitched as his cock jumped in residual pleasure at the contact, vaguely wondering if he should push him off before getting distracted by Jasper exploding in pale streaks over Bella's belly.

Man, how could he be so quiet? He was obviously having a really strong release, his whole body jolting whenever his hand reached the purple head. Yet after an initial pained '''aaaahhh'' he held his breath with every spasm...

Then it was over, all three of them gasping for breath and staring in amazement at each other.

The sex had been… unlike any other shoot, that was for sure. Someone started laughing, it was contagious and soon they were all tittering giddily, out of breath.

Alice stalked towards them, breaking the spell. She looked… passionate?

No, she looked…

... unnervingly like earlier that morning.

She looked downright angry!

''What the fuck was that?'' She exploded. ''You call that a threesome? That wasn't a threesome! It was… foreplay. ONE POSITION! And that weird alpha male war thing! That was NOT what you were supposed to do here today!''

_[HCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHC]_

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><p><em>Uh-oh. Alice had a script, and the boys didn't follow it... <em>

_Because of the double-post this week-end, there will not be an update next week... Just so you're not worried... _

_Did you get the two 100 Monkeys references? That was for you, **Laverett.**_


	9. Chapter: Not quite 8

_Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, but I call dibs on Titlight!_

_I know I said I wouldn't update. Well, I have no self-control. This is a mini-mini chapter, just a snack to munch on till the next real one..._

_As always, speedy-Beta'd by the awesome** Laverett**._

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><p><em>[HCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHC]<em>

Alice continued, '' What about the script? And what's the deal with suddenly exploding everywhere? Usually, you give my guys warning. And you don't until I say so. You-''

Rose cut her off in her no-nonsense voice.

''The script was shit, and you know it. You're just pretending to be mad because your actors did what you couldn't. How many times did you call me, trying to find a way to explain why they all jumped into bed together? You finally said; It's porn, it doesn't matter.''

Alice was staring at her feet, her defeated posture all the confirmation Edward needed to know it was the truth. It was nice to see Rose's wrath directed at someone else for once…

Rosalie's voice softened a bit in grudging acknowledgement, as she admitted; ''Alice, you let them go on because you know how to recognize real magic. That's what makes you fucking brilliant as a director, knowing when to just let chemistry happen. So don't start, that was fucking hot and you know it.''

''Fine, fine.'' Alice grumbled.'' Okay. Great job everyone! It's a wrap. I'll rework the scenario around this.''

Angela materialized again; truly, the girl had a gift. She handed Edward and Jasper black robes, before turning to a prone Bella with some wipes.

For whatever reason, Edward was feeling self-conscious.

He busied himself with the robe, hiding his nudity as he wished to hide his vulnerability. Aligning the collar, he started in surprise.

He was enveloped in Jasper's spicy scent. His spent dick twitched, the heady male smell going straight to it. It made Edward feel deliciously warm...

Whoa. No!

No, that must be the robe. It had to be. Edward did not at all enjoy being wrapped in anything Jasper. There were certainly air currents that explained his sudden goosebumps. Damn drafty studios...

Edward busied himself tying the sash tightly. He didn't breathe deeply when his nose was close to the cloth. Nope.

Realization that Jasper had worn that robe when he was also naked had him biting his lip. Jasper's bare cock had been pressing into the spongy fabric- right where Edward's was! _Fuck!_

Edward ignored the fact that his dick was starting to swell again at the thought. It must have post traumatic stress syndrome after all the denial treatment. Yup, there was no other reason for it to get all excited. None at all…

Jasper watched Edward blushing softly as he fidgeted in the robe. In HIS robe. Of course he hadn't needed the one Angela had given him. He was still dressed; it was only a matter of poking his stuff back into his pants and zipping up. Jasper held the soft fabric bundled to his chest, pretending not to notice the pure Edward scent wafting from it.

It was all friendly banter, as everyone worked to close the set for the day. Alice disappeared into her office after some sulky yet heartfelt congratulations.

Cables were coiled. Lights were put away. Actors got dressed. The bed, the tree, and the backdrop were pushed aside.

Soon it was time to go, a rush of back-clapping and air-kisses and waved goodbyes.

Edward decided he'd stop and say a proper farewell to Alice. Her office was a little further off, the door ajar and spilling a rectangle of yellow into the dimly lit corridor. Maybe he could apologize too. Apologize for the fight, and the script bending. Hell, he'd apologize for this while fucking day!

As he silently neared her door, Edward heard voices echoing in the hall.

Alice's voice was soft and lilting, not at all in her authoritative director's mode. She sounded worried, concerned.

''You're sure? I… Really, is there something I can do to help?''

_[HCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHC]_

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><p><em>I warned you that was short! A bonus little tidbit...till next week!<em>

_*kisses*_


	10. Chapter 8: Dark Shadows and Hallways

_Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, but I call dibs on Titlight!_

_Merry Jolly Thanks to my amazing Beta** Laverett**. And winks to **OdieJay** for a line she inspired in her review..._

_So, I'm posting a day late... I got a bad case of nerves and postponed putting the chapter up... It is probably NOT what you are expecting, and too close to me for comfort. This one comes with another **ANGST WARNING**. Dark and emotionally difficult themes, although tinged with light. Not at all what you should read if you're wanting to get into the holiday cheer spirit. Enough putting it off now, I'll just let you get to it..._

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><p><em>[HCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHC]<em>

It was Jasper's voice who answered. He sounded tired again, old.

''No Al.'' He sighed. ''I told you before, I'm fine.''

''But you're not!'' She _wailed_, just the hint of director Alice back. ''I can tell, you know, even if you're good at hiding it. I could tell when I was a volunteer at the rehab clinic, and I could tell even more when I became your friend. I _still_ can read you, babe.''

Edward had known there was a deeper bond there, he'd felt it in the way Alice reacted to his and Jasper's confrontation. Edward shivered, all alone in that dark hallway. The faint smell of tile detergent lingered in his nostrils.

Alice paused. '' You can't fool me, Jazz. It's… I don't like seeing you hurting is all. I wish I could make it better.''

Jasper sighed. ''Me too. But I'll get over it, hun. You want the absolute truth? I'm NOT fine. But I'll never BE fine. Stuff happened. I can't change that. I can only control how I let it influence my life.''

''That's why I'm worried'' Alice continued softly. ''I understand why you would rather get doped out of your mind than be stuck remembering. It's just… it's not worth it. You were doing so well!''

She sounded cross. ''Now you're struggling again, don't pretend. You're… _fidgety_. And too quiet. That's how you used to be when it was worse. You're exhausted too; I know you don't sleep well.''

''Alice, I have NEVER slept well, not since...forever… And… you know what? ''

His voice turned rough. Edward could imagine him toying anxiously with his hair again.

''Yes. You're right. I really, _really_ could use a fix right now. I haven't been like that for a long time.''

Alice gasped. Edward gasped too, the sound loud in the silent corridor, echoing off the walls.

Jasper continued, calmer. ''It's tempting, to escape. I… there's a darkness in me, Alice, and usually it's contained. Tonight… it's come out to play.'' He trailed into silence.

Edward thought he heard a soft ''oh Jazz'' but he wasn't sure. The heavy shadows pressed around him, stifling.

Jasper spoke again.

''It's my fault, you know. I let Edward get to me! He had absolutely no clue… I don't know why I just pitched it all at him like that. I shouldn't have lost my temper. I was stupid. And now I'm paying the price.''

''You like him, Jasper. He's a good guy. And hot too. You reacted like that because you didn't want him to have a low opinion of you! Plus… he was SO angry. And horny. And upset. I know how you react to the emotions of others, Jazz. He was so combustible, no wonder you lit up. You reacted instinctively and that's that. Now we just have to deal with the fall out...''

Edward wanted to leave. He didn't want to hear how it was his fault if Jasper felt like crap. But he was stuck again. He just couldn't go; he needed to hear the rest, to know Jasper was fine. Listening in was _so_ wrong…

Jasper sighed again. ''I'm going to go home Al, and I'm going to do some moping around. A lot of it. I'll be a miserable sap and I won't be good company. I don't want to drag you down with me. You have work, you're burning to check out that scene we just did…. I swear I won't do anything stupid, 'kay?''

''Jazz… She continued doggedly.'' Do we need a written contract?''

''No.'' His answer was terse. ''I'm asking you to trust me. I'm going home, having a bath and doing the self-pity thing for a bit. I am NOT going to call James. I swear. Not after all this time. ''

Jasper sounded so tired again. It was breaking Edward's heart.

He continued ''I… I really want to bury myself in a bottle of Jack, but I don't think I will either. I don't suppose I'll sleep at all tonight, not when I'm like this. I know my triggers. I mean, the edge of wanting to shoot up is gonna wear off, but not the memories. I can barely keep them down right now. I don't WANT to fight it tonight.''

Alice's voice was small. ''That's what I'm worried.''

''No Al, I can handle myself. I KNOW it will get bad. That's why I'm not drinking. I want to be able to take off on my bike when it's worse. I'm going to ride that Harley until the sun rises. It's… it's so peaceful; it takes my mind off things. I get into a floating mode, out of my darker thoughts. Just me and the road and the wind… It's like a trance, it's hard to explain... Anyway, it'll help. I know. I've done it before. It'll be enough. It WILL.''

Jasper sounded like he was trying to convince Alice, or was it himself?

Edward heard a leather chair creak as Jasper presumably got up. He tensed, ready to leave in a hurry. But Jasper didn't exit right away, he started talking again.

''See? I have a plan. I'll stick to it, hun. I'll be better in a day or two; tonight I just have to deal with it. I don't really want to. But if I don't… then it will get worse. I'll make an appointment with Tanya in the morning too.''

Alice huffed. But Edward could hear defeat in her tone.

''Fine. But I need a real promise. Please Jazz, for me. Or I won't sleep either tonight.''

''Okay.'' Jasper's voice firmed. ''I swear not to off myself tonight Alice.''

Edward's heart stopped beating, before starting up with a roar. Alice was worried Jasper might _commit suicide_? Jesus, what had he done? If he'd kept his fuckin' mouth shut….

''You can consider that pact from long ago still valid. I swear it on my mom's heart.'' His voice wavered. ''I didn't fight to come all this way and then say to heck with it for one bad night. I'm out of practice at coping with that crap now, but I used to do it every single day… I'm not going back there.''

''You'll keep your cell phone on?'' Alice begged. ''You'll call me if you need… Or Tanya?''

''Yes hun, I promise. But I won't answer if YOU phone me probably. I… don't want to talk about it. Not tonight. I'll phone you tomorrow morning, okay?''

The floor creaked as he came closer to the door.

Edward fled, feeling sick again.

He hadn't been supposed to hear that. He'd been eavesdropping and that was despicable. And now he felt like crap because Jasper was still hurting. Edward had truly thought it was all better after the sex, like his own freak out. Sex was the answer to everything. Actually, sex was the question. _Yes_ was the answer…

Edward couldn't imagine someone as spunky as Jasper being so…down. He wouldn't actually hurt himself. Would he?

There was something about the blunt way he and Al dealt with his pain that squeezed Edward's heart. It was… so... _real_. He wasn't used to people being matter of fact about emotions. In his family, emotions were strictly taboo. You had to be pleasant and mild-mannered, not rock the boat.

Having everything out in the open was… Edward supposed it was actually the best way to react, seeing how locking everything down and pretending to be picture-perfect had worked for HIS personality…

And Jasper hadn't just gone flouncing off to everyone. He was obviously really close to Alice. That was a_ private_ conversation. Edward guessed that Jasper spelled it out because Alice sounded wretchedly worried. There had been that same feel of familiarity, like they'd done this before. Edward wondered how Alice had come to volunteer at a rehab clinic?

Still churning inside, Edward headed to his car.

Fuck, he was shaking again. All the lust, the anger, the teeth-grinding orgasm, now this…

Headward thought his head might explode. Both of them actually.

He couldn't see clearly, it was all muddling together. Turning the car key, Edward's knee bounced. Jesus, what a day. He exhaled, feeling the tightness in his chest, the nervous tension overload, the jittery need to move.

He thought about calling someone to talk it through, like Jasper. But… he had no-one. No-one he felt close enough to share it with, except maybe Alice, and that was just out of the question.

Anyway, Edward didn't think he'd be able to speak well at all, not when he felt like this. His words would fail him, jumbling like his swirling thoughts.

He was going for a run, he decided. Maybe it would help him think stuff through…

_[HCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHC]_

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><p><em>... I'm really sorry to leave you in such a miserable place right before Christmas. Just so you know, Jasper will be fine. Like he said, it's not the first time he's been down... The next chapter is back to normal awkward Edward-Jasper lusting as the movie gets ready to shoot the next scene! Two words; Dominatrix Victoria...<em>

_The ''Sex is not the answer, Sex is the question'' quote is attributed to Anonymous, Swami X, Howard Hoffman, Jared Leto and some boy-porn blog I can't remember except for multiple flesh-filled images and that saying..._

_There may or may not be an update during the holidays... So, a toast, wishing everyone lots of love, good cheer and smut! See you soon!_


	11. Chapter 9: Introducing Victoria

_Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, but I call dibs on Titlight!_

_Send all your love to **Laverett**, for a speedy Christmas-Eve Beta and for teaching me the word caster._

_And to all my lovely reviewers, you are amazing! Time crunch meant I had to choose between updating, and responding to reviews, so I updated. This is a genius plan, because that way I will (hopefully) get MORE reviews and be even more backlogged in answering them! lol_

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><p>The rest of the week passed uneventfully for Edward.<p>

He was off from filming until the promotional party on Saturday. And, with perfect timing, he returned home from the shoot to a flashing red light. Edward had another job, a sideline. The frantic message explained how one of the employees was sick, meaning Edward was needed full-time; just what he needed!

He liked it there, being unknown, one of the guys. He enjoyed sinking himself into the repetitive manual labor, ear plugs on and hands on auto-pilot. It allowed him to mull stuff over, brooding, as Alice would have called it.

The other men noticed, but after a few lewd jokes about the new mystery lady in his life, they let him be.

So, with his hands occupied, Edward ran through the whole conversation he'd had with Jasper. Again and again. He also endlessly replayed the conversation he'd overheard.

God, he hoped Jasper was okay. He wanted to phone him, to reassure himself. But Edward didn't have his number, and even if he did, he couldn't exactly call and ask him ''Hey, so what's up? Feeling suicidal?'' Not without revealing his indiscretion anyway and Edward's gut told him it wouldn't go over well if Jasper realized how much he actually knew.

By the end of five busy days, he had decided to just let things happen as they would.

Jasper was right; there was no use worrying about labels.

For once in his life, Edward was determined not to question stuff. That was his main problem; over-analyzing. It made him stutter, panic, and freak out. By the end of the week, Edward had managed to convince himself that he didn't need to scrutinize his sudden attraction to a man. He could be Zen, just go with the flow.

Surely he could.

Of course.

Everyone could be Zen.

Right?

Edward also hadn't opened his laptop in a week, not even daring to check his e-mails. He wasn't afraid he'd cave and check out man-on-man again- absolutely not! Because he wasn't at all avoiding his new-found interest. Nope. Zen was his new name, after all!

He hadn't masturbated either. His unease about his attraction to Jasper wasn't shared by his dick, but it was strong enough to dull the urge. Being dead tired from the manual labor helped too.

_[HCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHC]_

Edward was getting out of the shower after his weekend workout, when his cell-phone rang. Hurrying half-naked through his apartment, he clucked at the puddles he was leaving behind. Who could it be? The party wasn't until seven, it was barely two!

''Hello?'' He managed not to sound too breathless.

''Edward? It's Alice! Listen, I need you to come in this afternoon.''

Edward could tell she was at the studio, the background noise was deafening. Angela's voice dominated the indistinct roar, ringing over the line ''Alice? I'm going to make the vampires sparkle.''

''What? Edward, hang on a minute.'' Alice sounded harried. The sound muffled a bit, but Edward heard her bizarre conversation clearly enough.

''Angela, NO! You want to make them glitter? They are supernatural creatures of the night, not… Barbie-fucking-fairy-princess!''

Edward had a brief flash of Barbie fucking a Fairy Princess with a huge black strap-on, before he forced himself to concentrate. It was Alice's fault anyway, for inserting _fucking_ into everything. Besides, Barbie didn't even have nipples...

''Al, you want them to be different, and awesomely beautiful. I'm telling you, impeccable skin tone is what you need. And… Victoria has _freckles!'' _Angela whined, sounding as if freckles were a horrible sin, and the woman had done it on purpose too.

''How do you except me to make her into a marble Goddess when she's a freaking natural red-head and she has freckles everywhere! And I do mean _everywhere_… As for Jasper… He's going to be a vampire too, later. Have you looked at his back? It's, like, so far from unblemished... it'll take a miracle to hide.''

What did Angela mean? Was something wrong with Jasper?

She continued, her words sounding final.

''I'm making them sparkle. It will add the mystery factor you need.''

A long pause followed.

Edward could practically hear his director mulling over the comment.

''Fine,'' Alice folded. ''BUT… if I don't like it, she has to shower, and you'll have to re-do her. From head to toe -including hair.'' She sounded like she might be wagging a finger at Angela, doing her best crotchety old lady impersonation.

''Yes! You won't regret it! Trust me love!'' Angela's voice was high pitched in victory.

''Edward?'' Alice sounded distracted. As she should, she was going to have glittery vampires.

''Yeah… so… sparkly, huh?''

''Shut up. Listen, you have to come in. How fast can you get here? We're shooting the bar scene today, because Victoria is flying to Nevada for the AVN Awards gala and she has only today with us. I need extras, everybody I can get to fill the dance floor. Come to the studio now, you can take off for the party from here. You _are_ coming to the party, huh?''

Emmet's voice boomed in the background, asking her where she wanted the disco ball.

''I gotta go, Edward. Get here fast! Thanks a bunch!''

She hung up before he could reply.

Thank god he'd chosen his clothing for the party yesterday. It was only a matter of hopping into the grey jeans and crisp white shirt. Carefully, Edward rolled up the sleeves, and added a sleek silver belt-buckle to the outfit. He guessed he might be a tiny bit over-dressed, but that was how he preferred to be.

HCHCHCHCHC

A short while later Edward ambled into the sunny lobby of the studio and nearly collided with a bar. Or rather, a bar nearly ran into him, glasses clinking as they hung suspended from their racks.

''Whoa!''

Emmet's head peered around the furniture's corner, bending over the worn counter. ''Oops. Sorry, dude! I didn't see you there!''

The man resumed pushing it down the corridor.

A bar.

First a tree, then a bar…

''Hey, Em! Need me to push with you?'' Edward jogged after him.

Edward didn't notice that Emmett smiled in gratitude at his offer. He didn't seem to be having difficulty moving the thing. However, Edward did notice and marvel at the size of Emmett's arms again.

''Well, it's on casters, so I'm good. But I could use a hand with steering. The bar is a good eight feet long, and it doesn't go straight. I've been fighting with it not to leave a mark on the wall all the way from the locker. I'm unlucky like that; I always get the grocery cart with the freak wheel… Plus Alice will be pissed if I run down any more actors…''

So, Edward entered the studio maneuvering a bar through the double door. He should have guessed from that moment that this was going to be another unusual day…

_[HCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHC]_

Inside the studio was chaos. People were everywhere. There was a LINE of them, idly waiting for Angela. About ten of them, already made up and dressed for clubbing, stood talking in little groups.

Edward stopped, bewildered for a minute, before spotting his agent, who waved. Her pale blond hair was teased out, and she wore huge dangly plastic earrings. Her make-up was overdone too, lips a screeching red that bordered on orange.

Rosalie looked… trashy.

She showed too much thigh, and too much cleavage.

There were _rips_ in her shirt. It was…disturbing.

''Hey hun, want to dance? Like my look?'' she slurred.

Edward shifted, running a hand through his hair and unsure how to react. This was a joke, right? Rose had a smokin' body, but usually she was impeccably dressed._ Unless it was some new fashion statement?_ Edward didn't know Chanel from St-Laurent. He'd made the error before, getting snapped at that a piece was ''artfully distressed,'' not old and being worn because it was wash day. Frantically, he tried to run through what he'd glimpsed as he skipped the fashion section in the newspaper. Was there some new designer in town? Were rips the new black?

Rose cackled gleefully.

''Ha ha!'' she wheezed, trying to catch her breath from her fun at Edward's expense. ''The look on your face! Relax, Ed. It's a costume. I'm going to be a dancing extra. Ang and I had a bit of fun is all…''

''Ha! Good one.'' Edward managed weakly. Edward would never admit it out loud, but he might be just a bit scared of his agent. Just a really tiny bit terrified. In a very manly way, of course.

''Come on! I'll make you over, Angie is in a rush. Alice has managed to get all the interns for the company to participate.''

Rose sat him down in a chair beside a pretty Asian girl who giggled in a freakishly high voice. His agent's brilliant idea was to make him over into… a girl. That way no one would recognize him for the main actor he was. Vehement protestations only pumped her, making her tanned bosom heave through the slashes in her shirt. Edward decided the heaving must have been intentional. Probably.

Valiantly, he ignored the quivering mounds.

Raising his voice only made a smiling Emmett call out:

''Hey, Rose! If you want to turn someone into a chick, do me! Leave poor Edward alone, he's going to start crying and it will ruin his make-up.''

''I am NOT going to cry…''

Edward's protest was ignored as Rose and Em locked stares again. A few beats later, Rose simpered ''Oh, I couldn't. Not with those arms…''

Emmett shifted the round table he was dragging, lifting it into the air with one arm, simultaneously inspecting the bulging biceps on the other.

''What? They're not THAT hairy…''

Edward was stunned; surely Emmett couldn't be that dense! And he'd just lifted a fucking table...With one arm. Rose stood, slack-jawed, instead of immediately retorting with some acidic remark on brains and brawl. Maybe she was still sick...

Emmett's laugh boomed through the studio, barely growing quieter as he moved away, table in tow.

Great, so now the ape-man was making jokes - when he wasn't trying to rescue him. Edward didn't need rescuing! He could deal with Rose by himself. Like a man. A not-at-all-intimidated one.

Maybe if Rosalie was still sick she wouldn't be too mean...

As it turned out, he didn't have to. Following Emmett's distraction, she immediately proceeded to turn him into what Rose dubbed, "the _creepy-weirdo-perv-who-sits-at-the-bar-and-oggles-ladies-butts._ You know the one?''

Edward didn't know, actually, but anything was better than a buxom blond, so he bit his tongue.

_[HCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHC]_

As Rose busied herself fixing a fake stringy mustache on him, she complained to Angela.

''What is it with guys being so difficult today? Jasper was acting up too!''

''I was NOT being difficult.'' Jasper's voice came from the cramped bathroom door behind Edward. ''I was being logical. Leather pants are NOT a good idea.''

''But they are _exactly_ in the tone of the scene!'' Angela answered, applying mascara to giggly Lin. ''You're the angry husband who's going to a bad-ass bar for revenge sex. Leather is precisely what you need. And, it fits well with Victoria's corset.''

Jasper contradicted ''Leather is NOT perfect. Leather pants are an instrument of torture! Have you ever tried having an erection in a pair? Hello, dick falling off! And do you think Alice will let me do a sex scene with no boner?''

''Stop whining. Girls have it much worse! Have you ever waxed your legs, or gotten a Brazilian?''

''Yes. I have.'' Jasper's voice was flat and he clearly wasn't elaborating.

''Oh, well then…'' Angela seemed at a loss, shaking her head before saying brightly. ''Come over here! The pants look amazing.''

Jasper stepped into Edward's view. He had to admit, the pants did look sexy. They were a dark grayish-black. They looked worn in all the right places, with metal buckles here and there. They molded deliciously to Jasper's ass as he stuck it out and gave it a ridiculously exaggerated spanking.

Edward's _response_ was ridiculously exaggerated. That was not hot at all.

Nope.

Maybe he'd caught Rose's illness...

''Hmmmm. I like the pants. Good choice! They stay.''

The voice that sounded towards Edward's left was unfamiliar. It was low and a bit hoarse. Definitely female though. Trying to look only made Rose dig her talons into his chin to force his face her way.

Jasper threw his hands up in despair, before turning to Edward. ''It's a conspiracy! What do you say?''

''You look hot.'' He blurted.

Edward blushed. Fuck, he hadn't meant to say that. Lin giggled furiously, and Edward stared at the floor.

Stared at a black stiletto boot that had appeared in his field of vision. Followed it up to some thigh-high black silk stockings. Further up to where the thick lace band flirted with a tiny miniskirt. Got caught in the multiple eye-holes of a stiff black corset. Finally made it to the soft flesh spilling over the top. The _glittery_ creaminess...

Edward hastily jolted his gaze up to piercing green eyes that regarded him with amusement, heavily shadowed in black.

''Hi. I'm Victoria. You must be… Edward?''

Fuck.

Caught.

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><p><em>A few very important things to know (okay, not really!); <em>

_The **AVN'**s really exist. They are the equivalent of Oscars for the sex movie industry. Although personally, I would have picked the Golden Globes for the porn awards and the AVN's for regular television. Just cause, you know, golden globes... It fits. I can imagine the trophies... _

_**Barbie** really has no nipples! If she were human, she would need a 39'' FF cup bra. Her waist would be 19'', same as her head circumference... _

_Most American **shopping carts** have swivel wheels at the front and the rear wheels are fixed in orientation, while in Europe it is more common to have four swivel wheels. I really tried to find a statistic for Emmett on the odds of getting a cart with a wobbly wheel, but I couldn't find any- too many variables in play. Sorry Em!_

_That said, enjoy some eggnog, and I'll see you next year!_


	12. Chapter 10: Music and Whiskey

_Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, but I call dibs on Titlight!_

_Remember when, way way back in chapter 5, I asked for song ideas? Well this is where I needed it. I really thank everyone for the great ideas; **Galveston's Daughter** nearly sold me on Shook me All Night Long by Ac/Dc. But I have to admit that it's my little sister who found THE perfect song. Without even knowing it, since she doesn't know I write smut..._

_An extra-special thank you to my Beta** Laverett** for her judicious comments on chapter-splitting and just being amazingly insightful, as always._

_Oh, and you might want to thank my pukey kid for making me miss New Years Eve festivities and thus giving you all an early update!_

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><p>Victoria extended a delicate hand toward him, deep red nails glinting like blood-soaked claws.<p>

Mistress Victoria was really famous.

She was extremely good at what she did.

And what she did made Edward gulp. She was quite possibly the best-known dominatrix in the US. She had hordes of fans kneeling to kiss her boots.

Really.

They did.

It was… unsanitary.

''Hey! Um, nice to meet you?'' He ventured.

''Oh no!'' Angela wailed. ''Look! Just look at Jasper and Victoria! No! No! NO! This won't work at all!''

Both Rose and Victoria nodded.

Jasper shimmied a little victory dance, singing ''No more dick breaking leather pants! No more dick breaking leather pants! No more…''

''Oh, no.'' Rose broke his fun coolly. ''The leather pants stay. It's the t-shirt that has to go.''

''What? But it's cool!'' He tugged the hem out, exposing a sliver of pale belly that made Edward shiver.'' Angie made me wear it!'' he pouted.

''I didn't think. It's RED.'' Angela's voice stressed the color like Jasper was deaf. Or color blind.

''So? It goes well with the black pants.''

''Yes.'' Rosalie sounded eerily patient. ''But Victoria's hair is… what color?''

''Orange.''

Angela gasped.

Victoria stared at Jasper, eyebrows climbing up into her forehead. Her o_range_ eyebrows.

''Um,'' Jasper fidgeted, ''what do ladies call it again? Auburn? Autumn Fire?''

Victoria laughed at that, a sound that gave Edward chills. ''Jasper, hun, thanks for trying, but it's not a paint chip color. Seriously, Autumn Fire? How about Majestic Pumpkin? Tangerine Melt?''

''Fall Harvest?'' Rose quipped.

'' Buttered Yam?'' Angela joined in, desperately trying to keep a straight face. ''Or maybe Burnt Caramel?''

Jasper and Edward shared a look of bewilderment as the girls dissolved into giggles. PMS. Certainly. Collective PMS. Unless PMS was contagious?

Victoria recovered first. ''Anyway, it's my signature. And it clashes with red. So change the shirt.''

''But I…''

''Go.'' Angela's voice was firm. There was now a handsome black man in her chair.

''Fine.'' Jasper stumped off.

Edward started to get nervous about having a one-on-one conversation with Victoria. He was tongue-tied, and he hadn't even started trying to articulate!

Rose unintentionally saved him, dragging him to an extra rack of (real) clothes that had appeared from some other set. She pushed a brown corduroy jacket, a puce shirt, a pair of torn jeans and a brown eighties mullet wig at him and crossed her arms, waiting for him to change.

It was almost shooting time by the time she decided they were finished.

_[HCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHC]_

Edward stared, amazed. Emmet and Alice had managed to make a bar appear in the previously empty space!

A low whistle close by startled Edward.

Again.

It was Jasper.

Again.

Edward whirled around and stepped back, uncomfortable with the other man in his bubble.

AGAIN.

Jasper smirked a lopsided grin. He was doing it on purpose. Probably.

To distract himself, Edward lowered his gaze to the new t-shirt Jasper wore. He most definitely didn't check out the bulge visible in the leather pants… _Breathe._ Right, T-Shirt. It was a black rock-band one, with torn off sleeves.

''V-o-l-t-u-r-i. '' Edward deciphered the jagged lettering. ''The Southern Wars Tour.'' Underneath was a picture of a set of pale hands, holding a blood red apple.

He shrugged. ''Never heard of 'em.''

Jasper grinned. ''They're a European death-metal band; iconic really. They pioneered the genre. I had a fling with the bassist for a while. Good times! Rock and roll, baby!''

Alice appeared then, laughing at Edward's look.

He didn't answer, distracted by the scratchy-stiff hairs tickling his lips. He wondered if that was what it felt like when women kissed a guy. NOT when a guy kissed a guy. No.

''You okay with the scene today? '' She asked Jasper lightly. Edward's blood slowed for a sec, awareness creeping through him. After hearing their conversation the week before, he felt certain the casual words held a deeper meaning. He gazed at Jasper, frowning. How did you know if someone was suicidal by looking at them? Jasper looked… like Jasper. Maybe a bit tired, there were darker shadows under his eyes. Or maybe it was the light. It was subtle.

Jasper nodded at Alice, obviously not going to say more.

He punched Edward in the arm instead. ''Stop that. It's creepy.''

''What?''

''Scrunching your nose up and looking at me. It's… creepy.''

''The mustache itches…'' Edward pouted. ''And I'm supposed to be creepy! Creepy pervy! Eddy the creepy pervy!''

Alice grinned.

''Well, get your ass up to that bar, creepy Eddy, or you'll be a tardy pervy!''

_[HCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHC]_

Edward was still laughing, as he sat down in front of an unrecognizable Angela who was bar-maid.

She handed him a glass of amber liquid, ice cubes clinking, and winked. Edward thought her hand sparkled a bit. Probably leftover shit she'd used on Victoria.

Music blared and Edward groaned loudly.

Really?

Out of all the possible songs, Alice had to choose _For Your Entertainement _ by what-was-his-name-who-didn't-win-American-Idol? Adam Lambert!

Yeah. Adam Lambert. A beglittered Gay Sex God. That's what Alice and Rose had called him one loungy Friday night. Edward had then been informed that, apparently, all women really dug hot gay guys getting it on. Maybe it was the tight pants.

As the sound levels were adjusted, Edward wondered what was wrong with the classics – Ac/Dc and other get-grinding Rock? At least he didn't dissolve into Walkman reminiscing again.

Edward half-turned toward the dance floor. It had filled up, but the dancers were strategically placed to better focus the eye on the main couple. Unfortunately, Edward was off to the side of the scene, since he was part of the background. He wouldn't be able to see Jasper or Victoria's faces, he realized.

Jasper was standing with his hands in his pockets, while Victoria leaned against a standing bar a few feet back.

Edward caught a glimpse of Rose's curvy shape, pressing up against Emmett's monster frame. There was a trio of girls sipping glasses in his way. Trying to crane his neck only made the wig slip.

He was supposed to observe. Edward settled in; that's what he'd do.

Victoria was stalking towards Jasper.

There was no other word for it. She moved like a dangerous predator as she glided around the gyrating bodies, licking her blood-red lips. Edward's mouth felt dry. Remembering the glass, he instinctively took a gulp.

Hastily, he turned to face the bar as fire burned through him. Fuck! That was real Jack Daniel's! His eyes streamed and his chest tried to spasm as he contained the cough. No need to draw attention to himself on film.

_Push the limit, are you with it? Baby, don't be afraid. _The rhythmic words seemed to be whispered for Edward.

Wiping his blurry vision, he saw Angela giggling silently.

Once he was again composed, he swirled his seat, taking a more cautious sip.

Victoria was now pacing in a tight circle around Jasper. He stood motionless, his back to Edward. Facing Jasper, Victoria held eye contact with her victim as she dragged a finger down his torso. Edward saw him stiffen.

_Imma hurt ya real good. _

The song seemed to echo the fiery Domme's thought-promises.

Victoria swayed seductively, disappearing from Edward's view as she bent in a sinuous move. The extras shifted, allowing Edward a glimpse of blood-red nails gripping the back of Jasper's thighs.

Victoria straightened, how could she move so fluidly when caught in a stiff corset? She circled around behind Jasper, pressing herself against him, front to back. Her fiery hair cascaded down her back, almost to the luscious ass straining her mini-skirt. He could only guess what her hands were doing to his front, as she moved her head toward his neck. Jasper shuddered.

_No escaping when I start. Once I'm in, I own your heart._

Suddenly, Victoria's demeanor changed, growing hard, menacing. From gracefully sensual, she became demanding, powerful. Her fingers clenched in Jasper's hair, yanking his head back.

He smoothly laid it on her shoulder, allowing himself to be directed. Edward thought Victoria was speaking in his ear. Or maybe licking it. When Jasper jumped, Edward was almost sure she'd pinched his nipple.

Edward enjoyed the smoky taste of the liquor warming his tongue, as Victoria suddenly stepped away from Jasper. He stumbled a bit, off balance as she moved to stand facing him. Arms-length away, she stared him down. He stood, passive yet somehow coiled tight.

Fingers twisting in his hair again, she forced him into a bent position, which he maintained when she let him go to circle around again.

Her nails dragged down his spine.

_It's about to get rough for you… _

Edward jumped in his seat, even if the crack of her palm landing on Jasper's ass was lost in the pounding bass. The smooth leather stretched over the rounded muscles as they clenched, swaying. Victoria traced the seam of his pants with a nail, then grabbed his hair again, forcing him heavily to his knees before her.

_I'm here for your entertainment._

Edward wondered what kind of expression was on Jasper's face. His body language was ambiguous, a mixture of pliable with a core of resistance. Edward got the feeling that although Jasper was submitting willingly to whatever Victoria imposed, he was doing it because he wanted. It was a strange power play, unexpected.

Edward had always imagined the type of men who enjoyed women like Victoria to be boneless wimps. Astonishingly, despite his perfectly well-behaved actions, Jasper still seemed dangerously sexy.

They made a striking picture in the swirling lights. Jasper, on his knees before the toweringly curvy redhead, in the midst of the swaying bodies. Edward wondered idly how Alice would capture the moment on film.

At that moment, the song ended.

Alice clapped her hands, asking for another take to get more footage to edit. Edward swirled his drink, as he watched from afar as Alice spoke to the pair. Both were nodding and listening intently.

Hearing the first few heavy beats of the song again was enough to make Edward's heart pound faster. The next takes blurred into snapshot images. The musical words twisted through it all, sinking into his subconscious.

A dangerously slim stiletto pressing into a rounded calf.

Emmett's large hand, grabbing at Rose's tight butt.

_Take the pain. _

Fingers twisting into soft curls.

Teeth sinking into an offered neck.

_Take the pleasure._

A strong back, arching. Lips parted.

_I'm the Master of both. _

Push and pull, the building of a slow fire, all of it underlined by the persistent throb in his pants.

_Let me entertain you till you're screaming my name._

Through it all, Edward steadily sipped his whiskey, the distinctive flavor blending with the sultry atmosphere. He doubted he would be ever able to have that drink, or hear that song again, without getting aroused.

Fuck. They were still dressed.

Edward couldn't begin to imagine what it would be like when they really played.

When Alice finally decided she had enough, Edward found it hard to snap out of the dreamy haze. Everyone else seemed to have no trouble, chatting merrily about being in the film. Edward overflowed with imagined glimpses of what was to come; with imprecise longing.

_Close your eyes, not your mind. Let me into your soul._

Too late now. Edward was already sucked in. He NEEDED to see how it would play out now.

_I'm here for your entertainment..._

Fucking hell.

_[HCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHC]_

When Edward rose from his stool, the world tilted unexpectedly. As the floor slid left, he found strong hands wrapping around his waist. He might have enjoyed their warmth as they lingered a bit longer than was appropriate.

''Whoa! You okay?''

''Yeah.'' Edward breathed. He knew he was grinning like an idiot, but he couldn't seem to stop. ''Just… a bit tipsy, I think.''

Jasper's eyebrows rose. ''Already?''

''Not my fault. Angie played bartender. With REAL Jack! And what was I supposed to do? My role in this scene was to be a drunk at the bar. Well, hey, I'm drunk!'' Edward giggled.

Jasper seemed amused, and Edward's blurry thoughts barely had time to process the action as the other man slung himself over the bar counter unexpectedly, lying across it to grab at the bottle stashed underneath rather than walk around.

Edward's mouth was suddenly dry, his vision narrowing to Jasper's delectable behind offered at eye level.

He clenched his fists.

He wouldn't.

He wouldn't smack him, just to see how it felt. If Jasper jerked in surprise. If he moaned a bit. If his ass felt as firm underneath the buttery leather as it looked.

Jasper, completely oblivious, fumbled on the shelves underneath for a moment, a long tortuous moment, and straightened triumphantly, raising the bottle in victory.

Edward cleared his throat, trying to stomp on the indecent urges before the other man faced him again. Fuck.

''Hmmm, didn't think you had it in you!'' Victoria's voice was speculative, right in his ear. Jesus. What was the deal with women in motherfucking heels sneaking up on him?

''I…um…''

What the fuck was he supposed to say in answer to that? He fumbled for words in the alcohol fuzziness, then gave up. Words were slippery enough when he was sober and his thoughts followed a straight line. At the moment, his thoughts weaved and lurched, so there was no way his words would work.

''What?'' Jasper asked, unscrewing the cap and taking a healthy swig straight from the bottle. His Adam's apple bobbed. Not that Edward noticed. There was nothing the least bit sexy about that.

''Edward. How would you peg him, Dom or sub?'' Victoria asked, directing the question to Jasper.

Edward suspected the question was some kind of test, despite the casualness.

Jasper shrugged, considering. He took another drink, before offering the bottle to Victoria. She took it, pointedly moving around the bar to get a glass.

''Sub.''

Jasper had taken enough time to answer that Edward barely remembered the question. ''Definitely sub. But he's not ready. He's got control issues and mostly trust issues. You won't be able to get him to let go enough. He's good at playing top. But deep down, he's a sub. And it scares the living shit out of him. I hope he breaks through someday. He'd be amazing.''

''Hey, um, I'm still here?'' Edward waved a hand in front of Jasper. ''And, definitely NOT a submissive!''

''See?'' Jasper grinned at Victoria. ''Not ready.''

Edward didn't answer, crossing his arms at being spoken about like he didn't exist. He ignored the twist in his gut at Jasper's words. He WASN'T a sub. He didn't want to be tied up and taken. No. He didn't. He would do the taking. That was that.

A fleeting thought of Jasper shoving his dick into his mouth as he struggled, roped down, was quickly pushed away. He was a top. A TOP.

Victoria rounded the bar once more, holding a half-full glass. She offered to top Edward off, and though it was tempting, he declined. He didn't have a good tolerance for liquor, and he wasn't ready to be completely drunk.

Yet.

He pulled the wig off, scrubbing his hair to make it stand up like usual. Jasper playfully tugged on the mustache, then, at Edward's nod, yanked it off.

''Ow! Fuck, OW!''

It smarted like hell, Angela had really good 'stache glue!

Edward pressed his fingers to his top lip as the burn slowly faded. Jasper's eyes were trained on them, a hungry expression on his face. Like he wanted to kiss it better. It made Edward sweat.

Thank God Emmett appeared to break the spell, grumpily rolling the bar away. He looked flushed and wound tight.

Jasper hastily grabbed the bottle of Jack before he took it away, holding it to his chest as the trio moved to the couch in the lounge.

Edward half-felt he should leave, he wasn't filming in the next bit. He really had no business there. Jasper and Victoria didn't seem to mind his presence, relaxed and chatting. Not at all like people about to play with pain. And enjoy it.

Edward sank into the sofa, feeling deliciously boneless from the alcohol. Victoria sat at the other end, pointy-toed boots shining in front of her. With a whoop, Jasper launched himself between the two, elbowing a nook.

It made Edward tense. He could feel Jasper pressed against him from hip to knee. He ignored the burn it caused. So much for his heavy-limbed bliss…

Jasper was drinking straight from the bottle again. His fingers tapped on the glass.

''Nervous?'' Victoria asked with a knowing look.

''Hell yeah!'' Jasper responded enthusiastically.

''So, do you want to talk shop_ here_?'' Victoria asked. Edward realized she meant; here, with someone listening.

Jasper glanced sideways, and decided Edward already knew more than almost anyone save Alice and his therapist. He shrugged.

''Have you ever done anything like this before?'' Victoria sounded genuinely interested, and a tiny bit feral.

''Yes, and no.'' Jasper answered slowly. ''I mean, I've done some light BDSM before, but it wasn't the same. I was topping. I… this is cross-nature for me.''

His long fingers toyed with his hair again. Edward's heart melted a bit at what he recognized as a sign that Jasper was troubled.

Victoria nodded. ''I thought so. You responded well during the dance, but it was cerebral. It wasn't natural. You did the right things, but you had to think to do it. A real sub…''

Suddenly, she was in Edward's face. All his thought processes jammed, overwhelmed by the relentless tugging as she yanked the short hair at his nape. He had no choice but to follow her lead, struggling awkwardly to a standing position so quickly it made the world slosh again.

He hissed; she wasn't letting go. If anything, Victoria's grip tightened, minty-warm breath fanning over his cheek. The pressure made his knees reflexively buckle; he sagged for a mindless moment before firming them.

Victoria kept his neck craned at an awkward angle, her dark green eyes filling his world. He realized he would do anything she asked in that minute. He WANTED her to push him. It was only pride keeping him standing, and it was wearing thinner with every passing heartbeat. It was a matter of seconds before he sank to her feet. Fuck, he was hard.

Pushing Edward roughly away, she daintily resumed her place on the couch and continued her conversation with Jasper as though nothing had happened.

Edward sank into the other cushion, heaving panting breaths like he'd just run a mile. Fuck. His dick screamed for contact and his heart raced.

Victoria's tone was conversational; ''A real sub, like Edward, his brain switches off. It's instinct. You, your first instinct is to fight me, before you make yourself submit. But that's okay. I like strong men. It makes things more interesting. I like the challenge, I'm not a beginning mistress. The things I could do to you… ''she purred.

Jasper met her stare silently, serenely tense.

Edward watched the exchange, still reeling from lust and alcohol. Damn.

Victoria wasn't letting go till she had some answers though.

''So, Jasper, why are you doing it then?'' she asked.

* * *

><p><em>''For Your Entertainment'' lyrics property of Adam Lambert. I didn't really know the song well before; hot stuff! Check out the clip on YouTube!<em>

_Paint chip color names courtesy of Benjamin Moore. _

_Happy 2012 everyone!_

_*Mwah!*_


	13. Chapter 11: Bitemarks and Kisses

_Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, but I call dibs on Titlight!_

_Hugs and ice-cream to my Beta** Laverett** who proofread despite being sick. (Okay, I changed my mind. No hugs, I don't want to catch it. Just... air-kisses and lemon-filled reading.)_

_So, Victoria and Jasper were having a heart to heart..._

* * *

><p>''So, Jasper, why are you doing it then?''<p>

It was a legitimate question, and unfortunately, Jasper didn't have a good answer.

''Alice wanted it. She begged me to do it. I trust her. She knows me better than myself, I'm not objective. She said I needed it, and not just for the movie. She's been right about me before, soooo…'' He shrugged, looking unsure. ''If she thinks I'll get something from this, I trust her judgment more than mine.''

A few more minutes passed, in a static environment. Tension burned on the back burner, artfully ignored by all present.

Victoria let them stew for a bit, before pushing Jasper for more.

''Is it the pain you're afraid of? Do you have any idea how you react to it? I'd like to spank you, or maybe use a paddle… Nothing too intense. Don't worry, I can tell when you've had enough. If you don't want me to push, I'll keep it light. Spectacular for Alice, but nothing too painful.''

''No.'' Jasper snorted. ''I'm not worried about pain. Not at all. I can take it, whatever you give. More than that. I'm worried about in here.'' He tapped his skull. ''You'll have to be very careful not to lose me.''

Victoria frowned, but waited for him to elaborate.

''And… no spanking.''

Victoria opened her mouth to protest, but Jasper cut her off. It was gutsy, Edward didn't think he would have.

''I have to be on my back for today.''

''What?'' Victoria sounded authentically startled to have him direct her.

''My back is…'' Jasper faltered.

Victoria was fuming, obviously not placated. She waited menacingly for him to explain. Edward cringed at the anger radiating from her.

Sighing, Jasper turned and tugged his t-shirt over his head.

He explained, voice muffled: ''If you want me to do full back nudity, I'm going to need a fuckton of make-up. I don't feel up to it tonight, and it will just get swiped off when you touch me. Or slap me. Or cane me. Or whatever. And it's complicated, finding good angles. I just… it will be too much, for the first time.''

Edward stared.

Jasper's back was… pockmarked, for lack of a better word. There were little scars all over it, mostly concentrated over the muscular expanse between his shoulder blades. They were half circles, about half an inch each. They looked… like bite marks. Really tiny bitemarks. And there were many many many of them. Hundreds of half-circles etching a lighter pattern onto his golden skin.

''What…'' Victoria's voice was surprisingly gentle.

''It's… it was a ring.'' Jasper's voice was matter-of-fact. He tossed the shirt to the side with a sigh and stared into the distance. ''My step-father, he wore a ring. A big one with a huge red stone. The little claw things that held it in place were loose…''

He ran a hand through his hair again, contemplative.

''He blamed me. For Mom… He never touched me when she was alive. And when she died… I… He loved her, I think. He was _so_ angry. He started drinking. The first time he hit me, he cried after. But once he'd started, it just got worse and worse. More and more often, harder and harder… It was never enough. It… it didn't bring mom back.''

Jasper's voice was wistful, emotion starting to creep in. He cleared his throat and sank back down into the couch, carefully not looking at either of them. He still seemed relaxed enough though, not at all exuding burning anguish like the last time he'd shared his troubled past with Edward.

Edward placed a hand on his thigh anyway, rubbing Jasper like the other man had done when it was Edward who was sinking into himself.

Jasper's thigh was firm and muscular. Harder than a girl's, larger. Edward felt like a creep for noticing those details at a time like this.

Victoria's tone was calm, maybe a bit admiring.

''Alice is right. You're ready. You can take this. The way you just handled yourself… I'm amazed at how well you've coped. Not many make it as far as you… And you're willing to go even further. That takes a lot of courage. ''

Jasper snorted, letting his head loll back against the top of the couch. ''You think I've coped well…'' he snorted again. ''You have no clue what I've done before this. How I DIDN'T cope well. The things I've done…''

''Yes.'' Victoria's voice was firm. ''That's to be expected. You're human! But you pushed through, that's what's important.''

Edward slowly dragged his palm up and down Jasper's thigh, not wanting to break the contact even if Jasper seemed calmer.

Victoria lapsed into thoughtful silence, and then continued. ''Really, Alice is right; it will help you, what we do tonight. Teach you to open up, to trust. The beauty of not fighting, of not having to always be in control…Help you see a different facet of pain and domination, how pleasurable it can be. ''

She pursed her lips. ''Today will give you an idea of how it could be, anyway. If you want, we can meet again. Not on film; for real. Help you get to the bottom of this, move forward. When you're ready. If you ever are. This is an open invitation… I can help you. I'd be honored to!''

Jasper's voice was quiet when he sighed ''This movie… I never thought… Usually, the past is just that, the past. Growing stronger is a bitch, huh?''

Silence reigned for a bit. Edward felt steadier, the singing in his veins from the liquor slowly subsiding. Maybe it was because he was seated.

Edward kept his hand on Jasper's leg, but he made himself stop stroking.

He itched to explore higher and didn't trust himself not to if he continued to move. He squeezed slightly, just above Jasper's kneecap. Jasper splayed his thighs invitingly, hips shifting so he pressed harder against Edward's side. Almost like he WANTED Edward to touch his crotch. It was a good thing Edward wasn't gay, or he might have pounced on him for looking so enticing.

There was absolutely no reason for Edward's dick to pulse like that.

''So, torture by pleasure it is!'' Victoria grinned evilly. ''I'm going to have a great time making you beg…''

The atmosphere shifted again, growing licentious. Jasper reached for the bottle of Jack again, looking sideways at Victoria.

''Yes,'' He replied nonchalantly. ''I imagine you will.''

_[HCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHC]_

A few more heartbeats passed, and Edward wondered if he should refill his glass. He was still debating when Victoria spoke to Jasper again.

''You know how to react, how to play it up for the camera?''

Victoria's question sounded more like a statement, and Jasper simply nodded in response. Leaning around him, Victoria addressed Edward directly, almost in a lecturing tone.

''You have to exaggerate your reactions during light play, if you want to turn the viewers on. That's what BDSM is about, you know; eliciting a reaction. That, and the power play. A man like Jasper, I could probably whip him unconscious and if he decided to fight me, he wouldn't make a single sound.''

Jasper ticked, her words hitting the mark.

That was exactly what he'd done with his stepfather, why he'd gotten harsher and harsher. Young as he'd been, Jasper had refused to bend, to beg, to cry. It had only incited a stronger punishment. Jasper knew it, yet he'd resisted. More and more, as the violence escalated, defying his step-father the only way he could until pain and fear had him delirious.

It had almost gotten him killed too. He was a stubborn motherfucker.

Edward stared blankly at Victoria, not really sure he understood. It was what she did, hurt people.

And Jasper looked a bit pale, it worried Edward.

Victoria must have read his reservation in his eyes, because she elaborated.

''That's not the point, Edward. I'm not hurting him for the pain. I'm hurting him for the pleasure of it. His, or mine. On camera, you have to turn it up a notch. Let the fans watching see the interaction.'' Edward wasn't really sure he understood, but he nodded anyway.

Victoria didn't buy it. ''Like this.'' She sounded a tiny bit irritated.

''Be still!'' She directed Jasper. Her candied nails dragged down his naked torso, as he sat motionless. It made a striking image.

''Ok,'' she nodded to Jasper. ''Now, show Edward how good it is.''

Moving her hand back up to his shoulder, she repeated the movement. That time though, Edward grew lightheaded with the rush of arousal they ignited.

Jasper's breath hitched, a low moan rolling from his throat as Victoria splayed her fingers on his bare chest. Edward watched his abs jump under the slow advance of Victoria's nails. Jasper twitched, hips curling forward and forearms straining as he clutched at the couch.

Fuck.

Edward swallowed.

He took a quivery breath as Victoria and Jasper laughed. They flipped easily back into casual friendliness as though nothing had happened. They were laughing at him he knew, at his reaction to their display. And he couldn't be bothered to care, grappling with the need threatening to drown him.

Jesus. Edward didn't think he'd make it to the party. He had decided sometime during the week that he was going to… experiment… with Jasper. It seemed that a party to loosen up some inhibitions would be a great help. Although he was about ready take him. Right here, right now.

That decided it then. No more alcohol for him, at least for now.

Jasper smiled lazily at him. ''See? I wasn't faking, not really. Just, you know, upping the mark a bit.''

Edward cleared his throat and nodded. He didn't trust his voice yet.

Angela appeared again, smiling. ''Come with me Vicky, I have teeth to glue on you. Oh and Jasper, Alice says ''five minutes!'' As soon as she and Emmett are done lighting the candles, you're on''.

_[HCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHC]_

The men watched the two girls go, hands brushing lightly as they walked side by side. Victoria settled into the make-up chair with a ringing laugh.

''They've slept together.'' Jasper's voice was low. ''I can tell.''

Edward nodded. He could see it too, there was a sense of familiarity there.

With a sigh, Jasper unzipped his pants. He hadn't moved, still pressed up against Edward at one end of the couch. Edward tried not to notice the pink of his soft dick as he curled his fingers around it and started tugging.

Jasper was staring at Victoria's back.

The more he watched, the more he grew distant.

His lips became slack, and his eyes were wide.

He looked… terrorized.

To Edward's untrained eye, he seemed to be getting softer, not harder, the more he jerked. Jasper's breath was ragged. Not in a good way, in a panicked one. Edward didn't really ponder how he might know the difference. But he did, and Jasper was undoubtedly freaking out beside him.

''Fuck,'' the blond boy cursed. ''I can't do this. Alice is gonna kill me. Fuckfuckfuck...''

Jasper's knee bounced, and he worried at the thumbnail of his free hand with his teeth, speeding the motions of the other.

''You don't happen to have any Viagra on you? What was I thinking, agreeing to a torture session…''

His harsh movements jostled Edward. ''Shit, man. Victoria costs more than me and you together; I gotta freaking get it up!''

He pumped fiercely, to no avail.

''Jasper.''

Edward whispered the word. The other man was so deep in his head he didn't even notice.

''Jasper!'' Edward's voice was louder, stronger.

''Stop it.'' He heard himself echo the words from the alley. ''You're making yourself panic, that won't get you anywhere. Stop thinking.''

Edward knew all too well what it was like to have your thoughts spiral away from you.

''Close your eyes.''

Jasper obeyed, slumping a bit more into the sofa.

''Good. Now, think of something you like. Something that makes you hot. See it. Feel it. Smell it.'' It was what Edward did to prepare for a shoot.

Jasper relaxed beside him, and he moved his hand, squeezing his dick.

''No!'' Edward heard himself say. ''Don't force it. Let the scene grow. Let it build in your head. Take it further!''

Jasper's breathing was changing again. In a good way. Edward could hear the rasp with every slow inhale.

He watched a lazy pink flush spread over Jasper's cheeks as his fingers moved, circling round his now mostly hard penis.

''Yessss.'' Edward was caught up in the moment, in Jasper's growing arousal. ''That's it. What happens next? Are you fantasizing about fucking? Is it good?''

Suddenly, Jasper's eyes flew open.

Only then did Edward realize how close he was. He was leaning over the man, unconsciously having crept closer and closer as he was dragged into Jasper's blossoming excitement.

He froze.

He should move away. It was inappropriate. Why did he feel like he was swimming in honey, all slow and mellow?

Jasper's voice was soft and gruff. ''I wasn't.''

Jasper smelled like warm spices, cinnamon and sandalwood. The scent soaked into Edward's mind, blurring his thoughts. Soaked into his lungs, leaving no room for air. Soaked into his very bones until they melted into the couch.

"I wasn't thinking about fucking... I was thinking about kissing you…" the other man whispered.

Edward barely registered the words through the thumping behind his ear-drums.

Jasper's free hand rose to softly trace along Edward's jaw, feather soft. Jasper's pupils were dilated until his eyes were mostly black. Beautiful.

''Is that okay? Can I kiss you?''

Edward nodded.

It was.

He wanted to be kissed by Jasper.

Oh, _how he wanted it!_ And in that moment, he pushed aside all the disturbing thoughts about sexual orientation and just let himself feel. He tried to look at Jasper until their noses brushed and the proximity made his vision double. Closing his lids, he waited for the kiss.

And waited…

His heart pounded, heat spreading through him. Fuck, Jasper was drawing it out.

Edward could feel his uneven breaths washing over him. Edward moaned a bit, the anticipation was going to kill him. Finally, FINALLY Jasper closed the distance.

Jasper's lips were soft. Not tentative. There was firmness lurking behind the kiss.

No, it was more like he was trying not to scare Edward. It worked too, reassured him. They brushed together again. Edward's mouth burned where they'd touched. He leaned forward, pressing their lips more firmly together.

Jasper made a soft sound in his throat. His lips remained gentle, but Edward could feel the urgency growing behind them. Every touch was a bit stronger, a bit more lingering. It hinted at…

More.

This carefully controlled kiss wasn't enough.

Edward ached with the need for _more_. Leaning forward, he pressed himself to the other man, grunting in surprise when his hand contacted bare skin.

Fuck, he'd forgotten Jasper wasn't wearing a shirt!

Jasper was _still_ holding back, afraid to push him.

It made Edward mad.

And goddamn horny.

This was ridiculous, he was a porn star! Not an innocent virgin or an inexperienced teenager. So what if he'd never kissed a man before? Porn star, right? So Edward took over the kiss, running his tongue firmly along the seam of the other man's closed lips.

Jasper's mouth opened willingly at Edward's probing, and Edward plunged his tongue in deep. Jasper tasted like Jack, and it was very male and very arousing. Their tongues played against each other, sliding suggestively. The kiss was growing sloppy, passionate. This was not a movie kiss, all extended tongue for the viewer's enjoyment. No, this was real and deep and getting a bit out of hand.

Edward ran his hand through Jasper's soft hair, running it down his shoulder to his biceps. Felt the muscle bunch and clench there, moving rhythmically under his gripping fingers.

Breathlessly, he pulled back with a cocked eyebrow. _What the fuck?_

He gasped when he remembered Jasper had his dick out, and saw he was slowly working himself. There was no doubt he was turned on now, the shaft fully engorged, the tip shiny.

''Well.'' Jasper shook with silent laughter. ''That sure did the trick! Thanks, man!''

Jasper's easy tone was contradicted by the fire in his eyes and the tension in his thighs.

Edward was suddenly aware of their surroundings again.

He felt eyes burning on them. Flustered, he looked up to see Angela resting her head dreamily on Victoria's shoulder where she still sat in the chair. They were both staring, peacefully. Angela's hand was cupping the other woman's breast in an almost absent-minded way. The redhead smiled conspirationally at the boys, rising to extend a hand to Jasper and nodding at the door.

Edward jumped.

Alice was in the entryway! She humphed, mumbling about knowing what she wanted to happen to the Robert character, before announcing it was shooting time.

As Jasper rose, he turned to Edward

''Coming?''

Edward's pervy mind immediately imagined so many other situations where Jasper might ask that question, he couldn't help responding ''No! Not if you don't touch my dick, I'm not a teenager!''

Jasper froze in shock for a second, before grinning and throwing a cushion at him. ''Not that kind of coming, stupid! Although I'm a damn good kisser… Is that a challenge?''

He puffed his chest out, then doubled over, laughing.

Suddenly serious, he looked straight into Edward's eyes. ''Please. I… you help ground me. Please.''

Edward nodded once. Solemnly.

Wincing, he got up.

Ow.

Fuck, his dick was hard down his pant leg and he could barely unfold himself!

He limped, not at all watching Jasper's ass move as he walked, all the while trying to nudge his cock into a more manageable situation inside his jeans.

Ow!

OOWW_! _

_Motherfuck!_

Some days, it sucked to have a porn star bat. He was so hard there was no hope of getting himself into a more comfortable position unless he undid his pants.

Jasper winked at Edward when they reached the set, obviously knowing his problem, then swiftly pushed him up against the cold brick wall.

Edward stood frozen, while Jasper's fingers hastily unzipped Edward's fly. He wasn't really registering what was happening, until Jasper stuck his hand in, fishing down his pant leg and wrapping his fingers around Edward's erection. Rapidly, he shifted it to a slanted vertical position, before deftly zipping it in place.

''There.'' He whispered with a final pat. ''All better. You'll be a LOT harder before this scene is finished.''

With a quick peck to the lips, Jasper was gone, skipping out of his pants and moving to lie spread-eagle on dark purple satin sheets.

Edward shifted in the shadows, finding an out of the way place where he could stare straight into Jasper's face_._

_A lot harder_.

Fuck. He doubted it was physically possible.

The bed was draped in curtains of gauzy purple, and it was surrounded by blazing candles. Tiny flames flickered in multiple tea-lights, chunky pillars were dotted throughout and a three-prong wrought iron chandelier held dripping long white tapers on either side-table.

Edward gulped, as Victoria strapped Jasper into black leather cuffs chained to the bedposts. Trepidation made his heart run a mile a minute. She'd positioned her victim so that he was at the end of the bed, head almost off the foot of the mattress.

Victoria greedily smiled at the sight of Jasper's long slim body, spread vulnerable on the shiny sheets. His erection curved towards his belly, heavy and taut.

''When you're ready, baby!'' She called to Alice.

The dark-haired woman nodded, holding her cell phone to her ear.

''Just a sec hun, I'm waiting on security. Have to make sure the sprinklers are disabled, if the candles set them off it'll ruin the day… Yeah! Uh huh! Yes. I understand.'' She spoke into the phone. ''That's great, thanks!''

''All set!''

''Show time, my pretties! Let's earn you another award, baby.''

_[HCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHC]_

* * *

><p><em>An early update, just because I could! <em>

_And a first kiss! Finally!_

_Next week, Victoria gets to work on Jasper... Till then, I wish you all sexy dreams of leather cuffs on purple satin sheets! _


	14. Chapter 12: Beg for me, Boy

_Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, but I call dibs on Titlight!_

_OMG! The absolutely amazing talented** KM525 **has made a phenomenal and sooooo SEXY** perfect BANNER** for this story! I HAVE NO WORDS. Link is on my profile page. CHECK IT OUT! It will totally get you in the mood for this chapter..._

_My just-as-awesome Beta **Laverett** has once again been amazing, especially with the chapter-splitting-headaches. _

_Now, where were we? I'm too distracted by the banner to write anything constructive tonight.__Oh, right. I remember. _

_Someone was getting strapped to a bed. So **MATURE AUDIENCE** warning. Only 18 + and into kinky stuff. Contains** D/S** **themes**, bondage, mild CBT and some other freaky goodies I don't want to spill in the A/N... _

* * *

><p><em>[HCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHC]<em>

''Quiet on set… and…Action!''

Jasper jumped when Alice clapped her hands.

He was flighty again. Little wonder; Edward wouldn't have wanted to be in his situation. Victoria moved towards him slowly.

The friendly relaxed woman was gone, replaced with the predatory feline.

Edward stared, fascinated, at her black G-string, watching her strong cheeks flex as her hips rolled with her stride. When had she removed her miniskirt?

''Well, well… What have we here?'' Victoria tapped a finger to her lips, posing provocatively in front of the bed.

Jasper remained silent, staring up wide-eyed. Edward could see his chest rising and falling rapidly.

Chuckling softly, Victoria bent to examine Jasper's supine form in the shifting candlelight. She suddenly straightened, snapping the riding crop in her hand with a resounding crack.

Jasper jumped again, but didn't make a sound. Edward got the feeling he was wavering again.

His hands clenched, pulling against the chains holding the black leather cuffs with a clink, as Victoria traced the crop down his belly.

He remained cast of stone, as Victoria bent to whisper in his ear. It was a deliberate move, one that displayed her backside in a most enticing way…

Edward thought she must have reminded Jasper of her earlier instructions, because when she trailed the leather down his body again, he arched, moaning softly. His belly sucked in, and he quivered where the tip traced random patterns on his skin.

His eyes were firmly closed. The look on his face was a mix of too many emotions, anxiety evident most of all. But he hadn't lost his hard-on, so that was good.

Victoria nudged his penis with the tip of the riding crop, making him gasp.

''Such a naughty boy. So _hard_. Are you hard for me, love?'' She purred. ''Good boys don't get all stiff like that... Do you know what I do to bad boys?''

Jasper groaned loudly again, shuddering.

Edward knew he was acting now, even if he looked convincing. He had lost the haggard look; he was playing a role. Jasper didn't make noises like that when he was having sex. Not really. The only time Edward had heard him slightly more vocal was in the two lone videos he'd found where Jasper had a dick up his ass.

Victoria paused, before suddenly slapping the riding crop to his thigh.

Jasper jerked, hissing. He tensed for a second strike, but it never came. It was back to soft caresses, whispered words of how dirty boys needed to be punished.

Jasper moved more now, tugging on his bonds. He seemed to be enjoying the feel of his restrictions. Victoria unexpectedly hit him again, on his chest. A red splotch bloomed there, a flower of pain.

Edward wanted to lick it.

It was starting to unfurl for real, Edward realized. The playfulness was gone. There was need lurking there. Its presence was stifling.

''Tell me, baby. What do you want?'' Victoria asked, her low voice sending shivers running down Edward's spine.

Jasper bit his lip.

Swallowing.

Thinking.

His face hardened and he stared the dominatrix down.

''I want to fuck you.'' God, Edward hadn't expected the commanding tone. Jasper was defying Victoria, _on purpose_. He radiated authority, eyes flashing; he suddenly seemed dangerous, despite being tied up.

Victoria recoiled, hissing menacingly. Her fist closed around his balls, squeezing, while her other hand wickedly twisted his nipple.

''Ah!''

Jasper bowed, then curled, trying to lessen the strain from the dual torment, instinct pulling him in two different directions. His legs wrenched uselessly against the leather ankle-cuffs.

''Ah! Aaah!''

Victoria continued, knuckles whitening. Jasper's eyes were squeezed shut. His penis jumped, leaking a translucent string into the soft hairs of his belly. Edward's twinged in sympathy for him.

''Wrong answer!'' Victoria seethed, releasing Jasper to sag gratefully.

She crawled onto the bed, sinuously tonguing a path up his inner thigh. ''I call the shots here. I say if you can touch me. Maybe I'll fuck YOU!''

She truly looked evil and supernatural as she kneeled above Jasper. Angela was right; there was just the right amount of shimmer to her skin. She looked made of porcelain, or maybe marble. And the sharp eye teeth made her painted mouth curl in a menacing way…

''I will hear you beg, boy. Beg to touch me. Beg for me to touch you. You will need me, boy. Like air. Like life. And maybe, maybe, if you're good, I'll reward you by making that hard dick of yours spurt.''

Jasper was shifting again, making the chains clank. He stared up at Victoria, mutinously turning his head to the side.

''Oh, you don't believe me? ''

Victoria's laugh was sinister.

''Just wait, boy…''

For the next while, Victoria proceeded to do exactly as she'd promised; she tortured Jasper with pleasure until he gasped in need.

It was all stark contrasts; soft soothing caresses, red dragging nail-marks. The smell of the candles. Black leather and milky skin, in the flickering light. Her silky hair trailing down his heaving belly, the crop cracking down viciously. A soft kiss to his temple, a rough bite on his calf. From his feet to his head, not a single place on Jasper's body was safe from her attentions.

Except for one.

She never,_ never_, touched Jasper where he ached for it, pulsing and purple. Jasper was sweating now, a gorgeous flush spreading down onto his chest.

Edward couldn't tell if his writhing and moans were for show anymore. He suspected Jasper didn't either. Jasper had slipped into that murky place where his role blended seamlessly with himself. He didn't think anymore, just felt and reacted.

Finally, Victoria seemed to tire of the game.

''Enough.'' The word rang with finality.

''I will here you beg now, boy.'' Her voice was rough, victorious.

Jasper stiffened, and Edward held his breath.

He wondered if Jasper would resist again, what reaction it would ignite in Victoria. Somehow, he could tell she was still threading carefully, at least for her. He doubted she would continue to do so if Jasper resisted her again. Edward couldn't remember if she'd brought props, whips and stuff?

Jasper weighed the consequences for a few seconds too long, before closing his eyes and submitting to her command.

''Please.'' He begged harshly. ''Please! Touch me! Let me touch you... I'm _so_ hard. Oh please, it hurts!''

His voice rang with sincerity. The sound went straight to Edward's dick and jealousy coiled in his gut. He wanted to be the one Jasper begged for, he realized. He wanted him writhing in abandon and yearning _for him_.

Once Jasper began, the words stumbled easily.

''Oh! Please Ma'am, please. I can't take it anymore! I… I'll do anything.'' He rocked his hips from side to side, making his swollen dick roll heavily against his taut abs.

''Let me touch you, Ma'am.'' There was a touch of Texas twang shining through his use of the term. He might be putting on a show, but it was still tugging at his control enough to make his accent reappear.

''I can make you feel so good. Oh God, please! Let me make you cum! I… please… Haaaah!''

He was so… _needy_ in his abandon. Victoria groaned a bit, dragging a thumb roughly along his bottom lip, watching how greedily he sucked it in.

''Fine. You may lick me. Show me what you've got, boy.''

The _or else…_ was implied.

Moving to the foot of the bed, she placed her spiked soles on the floor, balanced on them, then sat in his face. Literally: Jasper's face disappeared between her legs. Her hand was back in his hair again as she rocked against him.

Edward could only imagine what he was doing with his tongue, with his teeth.

Alice's voice rang out, loud and clear.

''Stand up a bit more, Vicky. The camera needs to see.''

''Fuck you,'' Victoria responded without fire, but she complied anyway.

Edward wasn't in a position to see clearly, which was probably good. He gripped himself through his jeans, wondering if anyone would notice if he stuck his hand in. He needed relief from the constant burn, _sooo _bad.

Like Jasper, he realized with a start.

The blond man was busy, head buried in Victoria's crotch, but his dick throbbed unattended. Edward groaned at the urge to move over there and swallow him. He was making these little involuntary thrusting movements… Fuck, so hot!

Victoria was throwing her head around, one of her knees now bent, weight balanced alongside Jasper's head. Her mouth opened, pointy teeth glistening.

With a grunt, she shuddered and came undone with a lazy grin.

''Good boy!'' she rose shakily, trailing a finger through the moisture shining on his face. ''Very. You're quite talented with that tongue of yours.''

Jasper stared up at her, eyes smoldering darkly.

Then he turned his head to the side and called. '_'Cut!_ Al, I… I think I need a break for a sec. And a glass of water…''

Victoria laughed delightedly, moving to unlock him from the black cuffs. ''Oh, you are so lucky we are filming this for a non-fetish fanbase! If you were in my dungeon, you wouldn't get off so easy… By the way, the _Ma'am_ was a nice touch, stick with it.''

Jasper didn't answer, breathing roughly and rubbing at his wrists before swiping at his chin. Then he looked at Victoria with a purposely naughty expression, licking slowly up his palm then on his individual fingers with a pop.

Fuck.

Edward could just imagine those lips wrapping around something else.

Once his feet were liberated, Jasper swung himself to a sitting position. Edward fully expected him to jack off, finally free to. He did, sorta. He gave himself a few solid thugs to the head, twisting his wrist to maximize friction with a relieved sigh.

Edward stared, wanting to see more.

But Jasper stopped, looking straight at Edward. Then he repeated the move he'd made at Victoria, deliberately licking the pre-cum off his hand.

God.

Edward realized he was clenching his own bulge so hard his fingers hurt.

Suddenly, he couldn't take Jasper toying with him. It was all too much, too new, too strong... too _gay._

Fleeing the scene, fleeing Jasper, fleeing himself and his dark desires, he stumbled towards the alley and a much needed cigarette.

_[HCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHC]_

The acrid smoke barely helped to clear his head. Neither did the texture of the rough brick against his back. Christ, Edward thought he might spontaneously combust…

Giving up the fight to arrange some order into his hopelessly jumbled thoughts, he reaffirmed his plan to just go along with it. It was scary as heck, this reckless base-jumping with no safety lines and no clue what lay beneath.

It was very unlike Edward. Yet he doubted he'd be able to fight the rush, even if he'd wanted to.

He shook his head wryly, feeling strands of hair catch on the brick as he put out his smoke. He completely understood Jasper for feeling overwhelmed earlier.

_[HCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHC]_

Plopping into a folding chair next to Jasper, Edward nodded at him, feeling suddenly shy.

''You okay?'' Edward asked. He had to know, had to make sure…

Jasper answered slowly. ''I… Yes. I am. Victoria was right. I was drowning in the pleasure. My mind didn't –couldn't run away from me, it was too overloaded with sensations. I was totally _in _my body...So yeah. I'm fine! Fucking horny, but fine. That begging part…'' He rubbed nervously at his hair, biting his lip.

Edward blinked at the reminder of how aroused the other man had been. Still mostly was, probably, if Edward's state was any indication…

They sat in companionable silence, until Jasper blurted.

''We're going to do wax play. ''

Edward's mind screeched to a halt.

WAX play?

As in burning hot-as-fuck candle wax?

Holy shit.

''Victoria said that we needed to push this a bit more. And that I would enjoy it. I've never… She's right though. I crave anything, any sensation at all right now. I'm dying for a touch on my cock, any touch. Even hot wax. You only live once, right?''

His hand disappeared under his robe, briefly rearranging… stuff… before reappearing to run through his disheveled locks. The move made the lapels gap, briefly exposing a hard pink nipple.

Edward burned, a sudden image from the videos that had started this whole mess flashing in his mind; a shiny nipple ring catching the light on a sweaty torso.

''Are you… Is it still…''

Jasper cocked his head quizzically.

Edward cleared his throat, but his voice still sounded choked when he continued. ''Does the piercing still work?''

There, he'd got it out.

Jasper laughed softly.

''Well, at least now I know what you were watching!'' he teased. ''And yes, it does. I… I take it out before I film.''

''Why?'' Fuck, Edward sounded way too breathless. Better to stick to monosyllabic responses.

''It… it looks… too… gay… for a straight shoot.'' Jasper stared at his fingernails while Edward tried to remember how to breathe.

''Jasper! What are you doing to poor Eddie here? Being naughty again?'' Victoria's voice was mocking as she approached them.

Edward hated to be called Eddie. No-one called him that except his great-aunt Aro. And she did it because she wasn't all there, and thought he was his uncle Eddie, who'd been dead for a good ten years.

He scowled, snapping. ''Jasper has a nipple ring.''

Why did Edward feel like a grade-schooler tattling on a classmate?

''Does he now?'' Victoria contemplated them in silence.

''I.. I th-th-t-think he should put it in for the scene.''

Victoria's gaze drilled into Edward.

''Why do you think he should wear it?'' She waited calculatingly for Edward to answer. Yup, definitely in the hot seat.

''I.. It's hot. I don't know, it just fits with what… what you do.'' His ears were burning up. Fuck. Edward had hated school, despite being quick to catch on. He HATED being called on to answer. It made his thoughts churn and his words scatter.

Victoria finally nodded. ''You're right. It would. But even though the fans don't notice much, they WILL notice a nipple ring suddenly appearing. Alice won't let us… Unless… Jasper, could you fake it? Piercing play? Alice wants me to reinforce the whole vampire-owning-a-human-before-turning-him thing, she thinks the fans won't understand it. So, how do you feel about me marking you as mine... with a nipple ring?''

Jasper sighed, staring at the ceiling before straightening.

''It's a stud.'' He said. ''That's what I have in my coat pocket. Not a ring. A black stud with a sparkly stone in one ball. And yeah… I'll do it… You're a freak for even thinking of that, you know?''

Victoria smiled, ruffling his hair. ''Yeah, I know. That's why the fans love me. I'm going to talk to Alice, but I'm pretty sure she won't mind…''

Jasper stood, unfolding gracefully.

''I'm going to go get my jewelry. Piercing play…'' He shook his head.

''Thanks for that, _Eddie_!'' he sneered.

He didn't really look mad though. He looked… excited.

Just like Edward.

_[HCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHC]_

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><p><em>Now, now, don't send the pitchforks just yet. I can't leave you hanging, so I'm double-posting again. Skip right on to the next chapter!<em>


	15. Chapter 13: Candlelight and Submission

_Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, but I call dibs on Titlight!_

_Nobody is reading this so BLABLABLA... **OVER 18 ONLY**... BLABLABLA... **DICK**... BLABLABLA...** PAIN**...BLABLABLABLABLA...**NOT VANILLA**... BLABLABLA... **VOYEUR**... BLA...BLA... **NSFW**_

_Beta'd by **Laverett**, as always... Carry on!_

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><p><em>[HCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHC]<em>

It turned out Alice looovvveed Edward/Victoria's piercing idea.

Loved it in a ''clapping your hands delightedly'' way. She raced to adjust the lighting into a more dramatic angle. A quick talk with Felix, the camera man, and he lumbered away to climb onto the suspended runway.

Jasper was reinstalled on the bed again, facing the normal way and masturbating to full mast as Victoria arranged pillows into a slope, so that he rested, half-sitting.

She cuffed him to the bedposts again. Jasper playfully fought her, making her forcefully drag his arm away from his cock.

''ACTION!''

Victoria purred into Jasper's ear ''You've been good, boy. I think I might like to keep you. If you're worthy... Can you be _mine_? Can you take more?''

Jasper nodded vigorously, voice wrecked and nervous as he said. ''Yes! Yes Ma'am. I can.''

''Do it.'' Jasper's words were commanding again.

''_Please_.'' He amended, trying to correct himself.

Victoria sniggered, her skin glowing surreally in the slanting light. ''Do you know what I am, human.''

''Yes.'' Jasper was breathless. ''Yes, Ma'am.''

''SAY IT. Tell me what I am.''

Her black corset glinted dully, fiery curls cascading over her muscular shoulders.

''A… a vampire, Ma'am.''

She stroked his cheek softly, satisfied.

''It can go two ways after this, boy... Either you die, or I turn you into one of us. It's your choice! Know that I don't often give it, human.''

''Please… I don't want to die.'' Jasper whined.

Victoria laughed bitterly. ''Oh but you will! Either way, your life as you know it is over… You smell delicious, by the way…''

Her tongue licked over her glossy lips in an obscene snaking gesture. Edward felt goose-bumps rising over his chest.

Fuck, they were good.

Victoria knelt over Jasper's body, settling her crotch over his and trapping his erection between them. Jasper moaned, his hands trying and failing to reach her, hindered by buckled black leather.

She licked smoothly down the side of Jasper's throat as his head fell back.

Fuck, Edward was absurdly hard again. He could feel the wetness at his cock-head, leaking after the semi-relaxed state he'd been in. Thank god he wore underwear today, or he'd have an embarrassing spot on top of an obscene bulge in his pants…

Victoria continued her slow exploration of Jasper's throat and collarbones, before tracing lower to his pectorals. She tongued, and then gripped his nipple with her front teeth, stretching the flesh.

''YES!'' Alice's voice was enthusiastic, jolting Edward from his observations. At least she wasn't jumping up and down this time…

''Yes, that's it! We're going to make you ''pierce'' him with your vampire teeth. Felix, get in there and do some close ups, this will be on the cover of the DVD.''

The next minutes were clinical, Alice directing the couple exactly how she wanted them.

''Do that again, Victoria… Shit, Angela, her lipstick is smeared… Good, angle your head more... Now look at the camera... No, don't hunch your shoulders Jasper... Someone move that light?''

Angela handed a capsule of fake blood to Victoria, who took in her mouth.

''Ready?'' Alice asked. ''Jasper, you have to make this believable. This scene is on you…''

''Gee, Al… No pressure, yeah?'' Jasper sounded sarcastic, but he obediently tensed his body. He curled his mouth in supposed agony, then nodded at the camera.

''3-2- Action!''

Victoria nuzzled around his nipple, not at all hindered by the vial of ''blood'' between her back teeth. Jasper panted, watching her with wild eyes. She growled, angling her head in a way that truly made it seem like her canines were biting Jasper.

Glossed lips wrapped fully around him.

Edward saw her jaw clench, as she bit down on the plastic pod. Her victim gasped, trashing about with a breathy moan.

Fuck, Jasper was good; he stared heavy-lidded as fake blood ran in dark rivulets down his clenching abs.

Victoria moved lower, subtly spitting out the broken casing and licking a trail up his belly, spreading the almost purple-black lines into a smeared crimson. She hummed in satisfaction, heavy kohl-smudged eyes looking straight at the camera. She was altogether terrifying, and devastatingly sexy.

Edward wanted… he _wanted. _It was a living twisting thing inside him. He wanted Victoria, he wanted Jasper, he wanted relief from the ache, wanted to bite and lick and kiss and fuck.

Victoria broke the spell, sitting up and wiping her mouth with a grimace.

''Ack, tastes like shit. I hope you got what you wanted, I'm not doing that again!''

Angela appeared with a bottle of water and a wipe, cleaning Jasper up. Edward wondered if it was on her resume; porn-star wiper...

She handed a jeweled stud to Victoria, and the next takes were close-ups of Victoria slowly pushing it through Jasper's nipple.

Edward watched on the monitor screen. She pulled the flesh in her nails, tugging it taut and making him hiss. The dusky rose turned white under her pinching. Then she slowly, obscenely, inserted the tip of the stud into his nipple. She paused a few seconds, letting his nub recoil to a flat position, worrying his neck with her teeth.

Edward thought it was strangely like fucking, that penetration of hardness into slowly giving flesh... Victoria seemed to enjoy the way Jasper's skin resisted, bulging under her unhurried yet steady assault.

Jasper wheezed and begged incoherently, as she twisted the unyielding metal before slowly, slowly pushing it further.

Why the fuck was that so hot? Edward hadn't even thought piercing could be a kink. It was so wrong, so deliciously wrong...

Jasper was really convincing too, looking terrified, in pain and aroused all at once. Edward wondered if it would be the same look on his face if he ever got to drive his dick into the other man.

Finally, with one ultimate push, one last gasp, Jasper's skin stretched and parted, allowing the hard metal to poke through.

They cut again, Victoria claiming she couldn't possibly screw the ball on with fake nails.

In the end, Jasper was unleashed again, and he did it with surprisingly steady hands. He needed to jerk off again, his dick having sagged some as he concentrated on facial expressions.

Edward gripped his own uncomfortable bulge; surely they must be nearly done?

Victoria sat on the edge of the bed, having a serious conversation with Jasper. He listened intently, jerking steadily on his dick. Edward ground his teeth and tried to hear their words, instead of imitating Jasper's moves. He crept closer, keeping to the wall.

''I'm going to start by dripping the wax on your chest and abs. Then, eventually, I'll do your dick.'' Victoria was saying.

Jasper flinched. ''My… you're sure?''

Victoria ran a soothing hand down his shoulder. ''You'll be fine. The wax hurts, but it doesn't last long. And you'll mark nicely too, you're pretty pale. So anyway, I'm going to start on the head. Drops. It'll hurt, but not for long.''

''Once we start, I won't stop.'' She warned. ''After the head is covered, the wax will harden into a crust. Then I'll pour a whole lot more wax onto it, so it runs down almost to your balls. You won't feel it much on the head that way; the pain will be bad, but not unbearable.''

Jasper nodded, looking unconvinced.

''I'm not asking your permission here, not really. You already agreed to do wax. I'm just telling you how it will be. You have a lot of potential. Just relax, and do what you need. Scream. Beg. Cry. Whatever. If we were playing for real, I wouldn't have told you the plan in advance…''

Jasper whispered, shaking his head. ''I'm really going to do this. I'm going to get hot wax poured on my cock.''

''And you'll love it.'' Victoria smoothly caressed his thigh, before slapping him playfully.

''Get down, now. I have a plane to catch.''

Jasper went willingly enough, half sitting against the mounded pillows once more and getting strapped into place. He eyed the cuffs warily, realizing that this time he might actually want to get away and he couldn't.

Victoria kneeled over him as Alice called ''Action'' once more. She laughed in a sinister way.

''Now I'm going to have a bit more fun, boy….''

She leaned over, carefully removing one of the long white tapers from its holder. She faced Edward as she did so, the dark line of her shadowed cleavage impressively mysterious.

Straightening, she towered over Jasper's gangly form, letting the anticipation build.

Jasper was panting nervously, a frown line marring his forehead. His toes curled and uncurled against the bedclothes. It got worse the longer Victoria waited, holding the flame poised above him. Fuck. Edward was going crazy with expectation; he couldn't imagine how Jasper must feel, staring up and just waiting for the wax to drop. No wonder he looked freaked out!

Suddenly, Jasper hissed and jerked.

Edward saw the white where the first drop had landed, on his pec, running in a short line towards his sternum as he twisted.

Edward stared in fascination as one, then another, and another burning droplet spattered over his torso and abs. Jasper twitched, breath huffing at each initial jolt of pain that turned into a searing trail, not quite fading before another landed and drew his attention somewhere else. Edward was transfixed by the sight, the hardening molten liquid tracing abstract wanderings on golden skin.

A choked grunt tore from Jasper's throat when the wax landed lower, on the soft skin just below his hipbone.

Edward's scalp prickled in alarm at the sound, and he jerked his gaze to Jasper's face. Fuck, that wasn't good. Attuned as he was to the other man, Edward felt his heart speed up.

Something was wrong.

JASPER was wrong.

His eyes were shut, his face red. His expression was one of pained stubbornness. His jaw clenched frantically, a muscle jumping in his cheek as another burning drop landed near his ribs.

He wasn't moaning and making fake sounds anymore.

This was real.

He was hurting, some deep emotional scar ripped wide open. Edward could tell he was lost far, far, far inside himself. He wasn't thinking of Victoria, or the movie. He was locked in his ten year old self, helpless against his step-father's abuse.

Without thinking, Edward took a step forward.

He couldn't bear to see that. He didn't have an actual plan of action, but he couldn't just stand by and watch Jasper torn apart from the inside.

He had underestimated Victoria though.

Grabbing Jasper's chin, she yanked his head towards her.

''Open your eyes.''

Her tone was firm, commanding. Jasper didn't seem to hear, shaking from head to toe.

''Jasper, look at me.'' Same strong request, urgent.

''I said LOOK AT ME!'' Her voice was harsh, and she shook his head from side to side. Jasper finally dragged his lids open, and Edward pressed a fist to his mouth, nauseous. Jasper's eyes were bottomless, sunk into the darkness of his past. Unseeing, he stared at Victoria, his very soul naked.

With a soft intake of breath, Victoria shook her head, then unexpectedly sank down onto Jasper's mostly softened dick. He jolted at the sensation, groaning.

But his eyes focused as he blinked, slowly dragging himself back to the present as Victoria moved against him.

He drew a shaky breath, then another. The deathly pale mask left his mobile features, and Edward heaved a sigh of relief when he began to rock gently under Victoria.

It was alright, Jasper was all right.

Edward stepped back on trembling legs, leaning his weight against the wall.

Fuck, that was close.

He wanted to sink down to the floor.

Edward had gained a new respect for Victoria. She really WAS good at what she did. She had noticed when things derailed, and expertly brought Jasper back. Edward understood better now, why someone might want to surrender control to her. She was totally focused on her willing victim.

''Do you need a break?'' Victoria asked softly. Then, more loudly and vaguely annoyed, she continued. ''Alice, just edit the dialogue you don't want out later; I can't keep calling _cut _and leaping in and out of character.

Jasper cleared his throat. ''No. I'm fine now.'' A haunted shadow passed over his brow, disappearing as he focused on Victoria. ''You were perfect. Thanks.''

''Okay… Ready for more?''

Jasper nodded.

''How's the pain?''

''Not bad. It hurts like shit, but just for a few seconds. Then the wax seizes and it's not that bad. It's the surprise, mostly.''

Victoria nodded in approval.

''Focus on the sounds. That's the key for you. MAKE yourself moan and groan. LOOK at me. If you start slipping again, call safeword. I mean break.''

Jasper nodded once more.

Victoria continued to ride him, scarlet nails grasping the slim phallic candle, poised gracefully, dangerously slanted over Jasper's bound body.

Edward saw how good it could be then, how erotic.

He could just make out the base of Jasper's dick, as Victoria rose and fell. It was beautiful, _they _were beautiful. The wax fell again, in scalding drips. It punctuated their coupling, Jasper jerking unevenly into Victoria, groaning as the burning tears rained over him. The pleasure became a twisting wave, rolling as sweaty skin slapped silk stockings. The flame burned brightly, smoking a bit as Victoria tilted the candle, her expression intense.

The smell of wax filled the air, multiple blazes bathing the bed in flickering lights.

Edward throbbed in arousal.

He'd seen pleasure.

And he'd seen pain.

Now he watched in breathless awe as the two mingled. Pleasure swallowed the pain, expanded to dizzying heights by the sharp sensation.

When Victoria finally stopped, it was with difficulty. Jasper's features were strained now, lust leaving its mark. His hips rolled softly as he stretched, teeth bared.

Victoria chuckled, breathily.

''Ang, baby, come help me get this wax off. Quickly now, I want him to still be marked when I finish his cock.''

Together they worked, joined eventually by Alice, long nails picking the hardened wax off a flinching Jasper.

''Jesus, I want to fuck now.'' Jasper said to no-one in particular.

''Soon,'' Victoria answered with a pat to his belly. ''Soon. You're doing good.''

''Edward! Quit playing wallflower and get over here!'' Victoria's summons was unexpected, jolting Edward from his fantasizing.

Cautiously approaching, he asked ''Yes? You called me?''

The Dominatrix looked sideways at Edward with an amused, almost fond expression.

''I need you to make sure Jasper is completely hard for the close-ups during CBT wax play.''

''But… ''Edward didn't even have time to voice how there were many girls around to ensure the job; Victoria lifted an eyebrow at him in challenge, daring him.

And fuck if it didn't work.

Squaring his shoulders, he moved to Jasper's side and gingerly reached for the other man's cock.

He didn't look the least bit soft, Edward thought. In fact, he looked about ready to explode.

Wrapping his fingers around the solid length, he carefully slid them up and down. It felt weird and foreign, yet familiar all the same. After all, Edward was quite used to playing with his own hardness. He stroked awkwardly at first, then more firmly, gaining confidence as he felt Jasper pulse in his grip.

Edward wished the shifting bodies of the women working on the wax would get out of the way. They were blocking his view of anything above Jasper's bellybutton.

Edward longed to see Jasper's reactions, wanted to watch him bite his lip, toss his head. It wasn't enough to just see the hardened evidence in his hand. Edward groaned in frustration, needing more interaction, wanting Jasper all for his own.

His hand continued to move easily, slicked by Victoria's juices. Veins strained on the swollen shaft; Jasper's balls were tight and firm, hairless and hugging his base. His hips moved a bit, feet scrabbling against the mattress as much as the cuffs allowed. Edward added another hand to his stroking and was rewarded with a grunt.

This was fun!

Jasper croaked urgently.

'' Stop. Edward, stop. I'm close. So _fucking _close. Don't make me blow before Victoria has her fun!''

His earnest tone settled straight into Edward's dick again, made it impossible to pull his hand away. There was just something about Jasper begging… It did things to Edward. He yearned to make Jasper lose it for him, NEEDED to see his release. To know it was _his _actions that pushed the other man over.

''Ed-_ward_!'' Jasper pleaded, pressing. He tried to shift away from the pleasurable touch, twisting to his side as much as he could.

''Enough.'' Victoria's hand locked around Edward's wrist, forcibly pulling him off. She pressed wet lips to Edwards in a brutal kiss, laughing. ''Give the poor man a chance. You'll get your turn.''

As everyone moved away to get ready for the final filming, Edward finally caught a full glimpse of Jasper's body. The crusted wax removed, there remained angry red streaks running random trails over tense muscle.

Edward bit his lip, wanting to lick and soothe, to be the one who painted him this way.

He was jealous of Victoria as she slowly kissed across one tight pectoral, before tugging the jewelry on the other with her teeth. She wasted little time worshipping her handiwork though, moving to kneel by Jasper's crotch, and firmly grasping his shaft by the base.

Jasper's whole body jumped as the first small drops rolled down his spongy head in a thick drift, barely reaching the flared ridge.

Edward's worry faded as Jasper's eyes remained open, fever bright and staring at Victoria's scarlet nails holding him.

Edward moved to the monitor, enjoying the spectacle better in close-up.

Jasper hissed and held his breath as successive drops burned his sensitive skin.

It looked like cum, Edward thought. Thick streams that hardened almost immediately, painting whiteness on pink flesh.

It quickened then, more and more molten liquid layering over the initial crusted wax. Jasper twisted and jumped, neck straining. Edward barely noticed Victoria's move as she quickly exchanged her candle for a tea-light swimming with scalding liquid. She confidently dumped the whole thing down over Jasper's wax-covered cockhead.

''Argh! FUCK! Ha-ah… _Mmmph_.''

Jasper shouted loudly as rivers of wax ran down his shaft, individual streams sinuously finding their way down the bobbing length, solidifying in seconds. His thighs curled against the bonds holding his ankles, instinctively trying to protect him. His knuckles were white, fists clenched tight as his flushed chest heaved.

Victoria spent a few seconds simply holding her masterpiece, moving it around and changing the angle for the camera.

Then, she wrapped delicate fingers around the stiff sheathe, pressing. The thick wax broke apart into three large pieces, the individual globes fused together as they dried.

Carefully, Victoria separated a large piece and removed it. Edward wondered if that string that stretched could still be wax, before realizing with a gulp that it was pre-cum.

Fuck.

As Victoria pulled the other bigger pieces off, revealing Jasper's somewhat softened dick, more strands extended obscenely. Victoria carefully dipped her finger into the shimmering fluid, spreading it over Jasper's tip.

Fuck. Fuck. Edward wanted to taste it.

Then she kissed her way over his ribs, up his arm and released the chain from one cuff.

Jasper remained motionless, simply throwing his bent arm over his face. For a long moment, he didn't move, Victoria idly caressing him all over. His erection returned with a vengeance, rather raw and red, all the more stiff for it.

''I'm done.'' Jasper finally breathed, face still hidden beneath his flung elbow. ''I can't take any more. Let's finish this! Please.''

His voice was quiet, yet there was an unspoken desperation written in the line of his prone body, in the soft curl of his fingers.

Jasper laid beautifully abandoned, still and passive despite the obvious desire boiling in him.

He simply took what Victoria awoke within, letting himself be carried on the stormy need without attempting to direct it anymore. He wordlessly pleaded for relief with every panting breath, with the inert heaviness of coiled muscles surrendered.

Jasper submitted.

Completely.

Totally.

Edward SAW then, vulnerability so beautiful.

He understood.

He ached.

Victoria stilled, eyes closed. ''Don't.''

''Don't say things like that. This is not the end. This is where it starts. Now I can push you, mold you. Make you beg. _For real._ This is the real dance of dominance and submission! No more faking. You belong to me.''

Jasper shuddered violently.

She opened her eyes then, visibly trying to gather herself in.

''Another time, maybe.'' She lightly nipped at his knee. ''Now is not the right place for you. Not here, on film, with everyone watching. Today, you get off easy. How do you want to finish?''

Jasper took his time answering, thoughts hazy. In the end, he sighed.

''Like before. Just… ride me. Please.''

Victoria nodded, reaching among the candles for a condom and lube.

She carefully poured the cool fluid on Jasper's cock, making him hiss. As she spread it, he hummed in gratitude.

''It'll help, having it under the condom; it won't chafe so much after the wax.'' As she unrolled the latex in a practiced move, Jasper's free hand gripped her knee.

''It's going to be fucking quick. I don't think I can…'' he warned.

Victoria smoothed the damp hair away from his forehead.

Tenderly, she replied. ''Of course it will. I didn't work so hard to break through your self-control that you could just gather it all back minutes after. It would be an insult to me if you did.''

Jasper's teeth worried at his bottom lip, thoughtfully, before he asked. ''You want me to give you a head start?''

He licked his dry lips. ''I'd really like you to cum with me…''

Victoria smiled then, blindingly genuine.

''How kind. No baby, I'm fine. Watching you…'' she shivered. ''It was more than enough. Thank you though. See, now that's more proof you're a top. Always thinking of your partner, even when you're broken and desperate.''

She stretched to release the chain from the other cuff, then sank down once more on Jasper's dick.

Edward marveled again at how beautiful they were together.

At the slow dance of flesh and leather.

He didn't even consciously realize it as he finally freed his needy cock and began stroking in time with the couple's thrusts.

It was primal.

Grunts and moans filled the air, Jasper's fingers digging into Victoria's thighs. The candlelight shifted and threw moving shadows. Soon, Jasper's sounds quieted, little more than harsh breaths. He was drawing deep into himself, finding some untapped reserve of control to wait for Victoria.

''Please, Ma'am!'' He arched, placing a thumb against the redhead's swollen clit.

It was enough.

It was too much.

They tumbled over, together. Edward followed, spasming in the shadows.

Wet, saturating his palm.

Warmth, slipping through his fingers.

Sliding, just like Edward was falling for Jasper.

_[HCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHC]_

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><p><em>Phew! Is it hot in here? <em>

_If you didn't know; NSFW = Not Safe For Work and CBT = Cock and Ball Torture_

_Now, I posted the two chapters (well, if you check the word count it's actually three! Thinking of you, **Chef Jayla**!) on the same day because it was just too mean to stop. So there will be **NO UPDATE next week** to give me time to actually write! This and the next chapter really is a turning point for Edward..._


	16. Chapter 14: Not nuttin' and Couches

_Me keeping a fully written and proofed chapter from you? FAIL. So although I said no update, and I probably should take the opportunity to get ahead... Happy reading. Consider yourself in update-debt to me, if ever RL gets in the way of a future post._

__Send all your thoughts to Beta-**Laverett**'s Granny! Get well soon!_._

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><p><em>OMG! This story has been nominated for BEST SLASH in the SUNFLOWER AWARDS! And so has KM525's banner! I am so honored. Check out<strong> thesunflowerawards [dot] blogspot [dot] com<strong> if you want to vote and read all the great stories from unknown/new authors! _

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><p><em>This whole piece is a work of fun fiction. <em>_**Except for this chapter**__. It is probably not what you expect, but then, when has this story gone in a straight predictable line? Lol_

_Please read the serious A/N that follows. If you don't,** at least know that this type of reaction CAN and DOES happen in RL**. I've seen it. It's scary. (Three A/N before the chapter? That's got to be a record! lol)_

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><p><em>[HCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHC]<em>

Edward was still buzzing with pleasure when Angela appeared. He didn't have time to be embarrassed by his actions before she rapidly pressed a handful of washcloths at him.

''Take care of Jasper.'' Angela's voice was shaky and rough. Edward could see her hardened nipples poking at her striped T-shirt. Fuck.

Just as quickly, she moved into the spotlight, grabbing Victoria's hand and literally dragging the taller woman behind her toward the Lounge.

Edward moved awkwardly to the bed, wiping his hand and as much of the mess as he could. He arrived in time to catch the tail end of Alice's words. The small woman was sitting on the bed by Jasper's torso, lightly brushing his hair from his face.

''… okay with what happened today?'' She said. ''I think it went well. I'm soooo proud of you, as a friend. And as a director, well… Victoria really is worth all the money she costs. I'm not even that mad that you didn't pull out to cum…''

Edward tossed a washcloth towards Jasper's genitals and proceeded to fumble with the chains at his feet.

''Oh shit, Alice, I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking. I'm really sorry, that was unprofessional. I know better.'' Jasper's unsteady hands carefully took care of the full condom. ''I just… I couldn't think for that last while. It was fucking intense.''

''It's okay, Jazz. I told you, I'll work around it. Just don't make a habit of it!''

''As long as you don't make a habit of having me get hot candle-wax on my balls, we have a deal!''

Alice laughed, shaking her head before leaving to advise security the filming was done and the sprinklers could be turned back on.

Jasper slowly sat up, looking bashful. He was still flushed and shaky.

''Hey, Edward! Thanks man.'' He gestured with the washcloth. ''You… saw all that? ''

Edward nodded, words escaping him once more.

''What did you think?'' There was unexpected vulnerability in Jasper's stormy eyes.

''It was… magic.'' Edward 's voice was husky.'' Very, very, hot and… REAL. Victoria's really good. You too.''

He couldn't find a better way to explain it.

Jasper nodded in understanding. There really were no words…

Edward moved to return to the Lounge, but Jasper didn't follow. He sat, head between his hands. His strong shoulders bunched.

Returning to kneel before him, Edward pried Jasper's hands from his face.

''Hey!'' He said gently. ''You okay? ''

Jasper nodded. His eyes were huge in his pale face. He looked a bit green, and there was sweat on his forehead.

''Jasper?'' Edward questioned.

''I'm fuh-fine.'' Jasper's answer was trembly, and his teeth chattered.

''_Jasper?_'' Edward felt panic swell within him.

Something was wrong. Jasper was NOT fine, no matter what he claimed.

''Oh my god, what is it? What can I do?''

''I sss-sss-sssaid, I'm fff-fff-fffffine.''

Jasper's shivering was getting worse. Edward could hear his teeth clacking. Jasper huffed in annoyance, locking the muscles in his jaw. The shivers spread to his shoulders and his hands.

Despite Edward's worried protests, Jasper stood on wobbly legs, the quivering getting worse.

''Jasper! NO! Don't get up! You're sick!''

Edward followed the other man as he cautiously stepped off the platform. There wasn't much else he could do, since Jasper was ignoring him, except maybe pick him up and sit him back down.

Eyeing him, Edward considered it, before deciding he probably wouldn't be able to, given the other man's solid muscles. Maybe Emmett could… But the man was nowhere to be seen. In fact, Edward had seen neither him nor Rose during this entire scene.

Strange.

Maybe the BDSM wasn't their style.

Edward trailed after Jasper, arguing and keeping a close eye on him. Jasper ignored him, none too steady on his feet and moving rigidly as he forced Jell-O muscles to cooperate.

Giving up on getting him back to the bed, Edward slipped an arm around him and opted to help support Jasper instead, as they made their way to the familiar couch in the lounge.

Jasper was shaking from head to toe by the time they got there; his teeth started clacking audibly whenever he forgot to force his jaw shut.

As he sank gratefully into the couch, he tried once more to argue with Edward.

''It's nu-noth-thing. Just annnn… add-duhrenal-lllline rrruussh.''

Fuckfuckfuck! Even Jasper's breathing was messed up, bursting irregularly from his nose as he bit his blanched lips, in an effort to clamp in the sounds trying to escape. There was more exhale than inhale to his uneven rhythm, air forced out by the strength of his torso's spastic tremors.

Swearing, Edward spotted a folded blanket, tucking it in around the taller man. He vaguely registered feminine moans and some kind of smacking sound.

''Victoria!'' He called.

Where the fuck was she, this was all her fault. He was a bit surprised at how angry he was, how authoritative his voice sounded.

''VICTORIA!''

The slapping stopped, the moans diminished to whimpers. The sound was coming from the bathroom, Edward realized.

Without hesitation, he strode to it and flung the door open.

Angela was braced against the sink. Her skirt was flipped up. From what Edward could tell by the state of her skin, Victoria had been paddling her with the large wooden brush whose condom-wrapped-handle was now sunk deep into her pussy. He didn't even feel the slightest twinge of arousal or care at the sight, too worried about Jasper.

''Something's wrong with Jasper.''

Edward's voice was clipped. He barely refrained from adding: It's your fault. Take care of it.

Victoria understood though, immediately removing the brush from Angela and following Edward out the door.

''You did the right thing, getting me. Where is he?''

Jasper tried to struggle into a straighter seated position as they approached, clutching the blanket under his chin. He cast an aggravated yet somehow tender look at Edward.

''I ttuh-told him I'm fuh-fine.'' He declared. ''Just an adrennnnnaline rush.''

Edward thought Jasper was still much too pale, but at least he'd lost the green tinge. The shaking was better too, though his teeth still clattered enough to hamper his speech.

Victoria's face was pretty much a reflection of Jasper's, annoyed yet affectionate. She pursed her lips in disapproval, moving to gently press fingers to the pulse point in his neck.

''He's right, Edward. I didn't do much physical damage today.''

She turned to Jasper. ''It DOESN'T mean you're fine… I'm very sorry. I wasn't thinking, after scening. Especially your first time... Angela just… That was very irresponsible of me.''

Her tone was irritated as she grabbed one of the washcloths Edward had dropped and poured water on it from a bottle on the counter. Her movements were jerky with anger - anger directed at herself, not at Jasper.

''S'okay.'' Jasper answered softly. ''Really.''

''You should have told me it was too much, after.'' She gently chided.

''It wasn't.'' Jasper's voice was steadier. ''You… it was perfect. Just _intense_.''

Victoria looked at Edward as he hovered, wringing his hands. ''Is there somewhere around here you could get some juice or something?''

Edward's mind was blank, full of the image of Jasper's square nails clutching the blanket in a white-knuckled grip.

''Yes.'' It was Jasper who answered. ''There are vending machines in the lunchroom.''

He was shaking much less. He looked seriously drained, leaning his head back into the couch.

''Edward.'' Victoria's tone was directive again. ''Lunchroom. Now.''

Snapped into action, Edward rushed off, casting one last worried glance at Jasper. His eyes were closed, and Victoria was sitting by him, wiping the sickly-shine from his forehead.

Once alone in the echoey empty lunchroom, Edward stared at the brightly lit vending machines.

Juice. He could do juice. Which kind? There were several different ones. Sodas too. And milk. No, not milk. Did Jasper need a snack? There was a whole other boxy glass-fronted machine filled with them…

_[HCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHC]_

Jasper laughed out loud, though tiredly, when Edward returned; Victoria grinned too.

Edward didn't care, proudly dumping an armload of goods onto the couch beside Jasper.

''I didn't know what you wanted…'' he trailed off.

''So you brought; apple juice, orange juice, fruit punch, Coke, Seven up, blue Gatorade, chips, chocolate bars, smoked almonds, cookies and… Kleenex? You know I don't really need Kleenex, do you? Unless it was for you?''

Jasper's eyebrows quirked, suspiciously all-knowing.

It was sexy as hell and made Edward wonder if Jasper possibly might have seen him nuttin' his pants? At least the mess was in the disgusting eighties costume jeans. Besides, how in the world could _eyebrows_ be sexy?

Surely not. He'd been deep in Victoria, no way had Jasper noticed Edward's actions in the shadows…

Jasper had seen nothing.

Not nuttin'.

Fuck, now Edward was getting confused! And for absolutely no reason, since Jasper hadn't seen him.

Of course nut.

Right?

Edward finally responded to the jest, distracted.

'' Well, the Kleenex was a mi-mis-stake, my finger slipped on the letter. I wanted jelly beans. I would have brought more, but I didn't have any more change…''

Chuckling softly, Jasper took a can of apple juice. Edward was pleased to see the shaking had reduced to the occasional shiver and Jasper was able to pop the tab unassisted.

''So,'' Victoria's low voice was directed at Edward. ''We've been talking. Jasper has a pretty good idea of what happened to him. I wanted to wait till you got here to explain it more clearly, because I'm sure you have questions.''

''Come here, baby. You're involved too.'' Her voice was soft.

Edward realized Victoria was speaking to Angela, who was lurking just inside the bathroom door.

The dark-haired girl moved quickly, to kneel beside Jasper's feet, throwing her arms around him. ''I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.''

Victoria carefully raised her by the chin, tucking a midnight strand behind her ear. Angela's eyes were puffy, her make-up running in dark streaks down her red face.

Jasper's eyebrows rose in shock, before he gently tugged her up into his blanket-draped lap.

''Angie. It's okay, hun. Don't cry! It wasn't your fault.'' He soothed.

''No.'' Edward's voice was sharp, and he didn't care. ''It was HER fault.''

He indicated Victoria with his head.

The redhead sighed, but didn't deny it.

It was Angela who passionately responded.

''No! It was my fault!'' she wailed, tears flowing again. Jasper rubbed her back soothingly, perplexed. ''I took Mistress Victoria away, I made her take care of me! I didn't let her do proper after-care with Jasper, I was too selfish…''

Edward pulled a folding chair from the wall, sitting astride backwards in it and resting his arms on the seat back. He watched Jasper start to unwrap a chocolate bar, wondering if he was supposed to understand any of this weird conversation. It seemed pretty clear whose fault it was.

Hers.

Victoria's.

The dominatrix spoke with calm finality.

''It's no use throwing blame around. Everyone played a role in this. I SHOULD have made sure Jasper was all right. Angela DID distract me. She SHOULD have known better, she's subbed for me before. And Jasper SHOULD have told me how much we challenged him.''

Looking between Edward and Jasper, she explained.

''Jasper toyed with sub-space today. He didn't freefall, but it was close. Closer than I thought. And I didn't monitor him closely enough, because we didn't do that much pain play. ''

''Sub-space?'' Edward was bewildered by the unfamiliar term.

Victoria explained, her teacher's voice back on. ''When a sub gets taken out of his mind by a really intense scene. Usually, it takes a lot of physical pain to get there. It releases hormones and chemicals in the body that give a high during play. ''

''It's like flying…'' Angela spoke dreamily, resting her head on Jasper's chest. ''Sooo amazing. No troubles, no thoughts, no past, no future. Just you. And your Domme. Forever, in the moment… It's magic.''

Victoria resumed her explanation, fondly holding Angela's hand and tracing circles on the back of it with her thumb.

''It can be risky. When someone is deep in subspace, they will do things that are dangerous for them. Like beg for more whipping, because they're suspended pain-free. Go past what is safe. If you push far enough, they'll be completely incoherent.''

Her emerald eyes glowed with memories.

''You need a good Master to guide you through it. It's about trust. And letting go. Putting yourself completely in the other's hands. Jasper didn't wholly fly today. But he did go deep into himself and pushed through. It was more of a mental journey for him. An emotional one. Doesn't mean it was easier.''

Victoria shook her hair from her face, looking troubled.

''It was enough for Jasper to drop-out after. That's what happens when the chemical levels sink after the high in your body. It's my responsibility to make sure he returns to himself safely. Aftercare is primordial, and I just left him there… That was a newbie mistake. Unforgivable. ''

She really DID have freckles on her face, Edward saw now that her make-up wasn't so thick. He could imagine her, a spotted mischievous kid in pigtails…

''We pushed his limit today. I didn't realize how much; Jasper is very good at hiding his feelings. Still, that was my mistake. I _should_ have recognized it and made sure he was okay before I left with Angie… ''

She definitely was beating herself up about it, Edward thought.

Jasper got that vibe too.

He carefully pried Victoria's fingers from Angela's and squeezed her hand.

''Don't. I'm not mad. Like you said, I had my part to play. And I'm better now. Tired, but better.''

At that moment, Alice stuck her head through the doorway. ''Ah! There you all are. I was wondering, I came back from security and…'' she trailed off, staring at Jasper.

Her eyebrows scrunched.

Edward thought that Jasper looked so much better. He was the right color, and the shaking was over. Alice proved how well she knew him though, because she clucked in annoyance.

''Crap.'' She rushed over surprisingly fast, given her small strides. ''Jazz, hun… Are you going to be okay?''

''Will everyone stop babying me?'' Jasper was annoyed. ''I SAID I'm fine. I just need to rest.''

Alice looked to Victoria, who admitted he was probably right.

''You know him really well, to pick up on the fact that Jasper crashed.'' Victoria asked shrewdly.

''Yes.'' Alice simply acknowledged it. ''We go way back, me and Jazz.''

Her eyes locked on the other woman. ''Don't feel too bad if you didn't see it coming…?'' It was more of a question than a statement, and she must have found the answer in Victoria's eyes, because she nodded. ''He's tricky like that.''

''I SAID… ''Jasper began, fidgeting in frustration.

''I know, Love, I know.'' Alice actually leaned over and patted his head. ''Don't get mad.''

Victoria rose slowly, reluctance plainly written on her face.

''I hate to leave like this, but I have a plane in less than two hours… ''

Her voice firmed and her usual commanding presence returned. ''I don't want Jasper to be alone for a little while. Really, I should be the one there for him, but…''

Alice's face fell. ''I… I'll stay. It's just that there's this big party and I should…''

She squared her shoulders. ''No matter. Jasper is more important.''

''No!'' Jasper straightened, getting ready to argue. ''You can't miss your own promotional event! I'll… give me a minute or two, maybe a shower, and we'll go there. I won't be alone, and you won't have to miss it.''

He nodded firmly.

His jaw was set at its most stubborn angle, and Edward just knew he wouldn't back down. Jasper's features were still drawn though, his movements sluggish. He really shouldn't go to the party in that state.

Alice's expression was just as stubborn as Jasper's. She looked about ready to chew rocks.

It was a stalemate, Edward realized. They would be there all night, neither Jasper resting nor Alice going to her party.

''I'll stay.'' He heard himself say.

There was a beat or two of silence, as everyone in the room stared at him.

He felt a blush spread along his cheeks. ''What? Jasper needs to sleep, and Alice really shouldn't miss an event to promote her own movie. I've got nothing better to do, unless I go to the party alone. And that's just stupid, if Alice stays here.''

''Unless…'' Edward's insecurity caught up with him, causing him to hesitate and stare at the floor. ''Jasper PREFERS Alice?''

Their relationship was still pretty much undefined, maybe the other man didn't want to be stuck with Edward as a babysitter.

Jasper didn't argue though. ''Thanks. I owe you one.'' He sank appreciatively into the cushions, and Edward heaved a sigh of relief. For Jasper to fold so easily, he must be worse off than he looked.

Again.

What was it Alice had called him? Tricky?

_[HCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHC]_

Edward kept busy after changing out of the costume pants by helping Emmett, who had magically reappeared, put away the props in the mostly empty studio.

Meanwhile, Alice and Victoria got ready with Angela. Jasper remained watching from the couch, except to pull on his boxers.

Soon, Alice was all glammed out, with her hair in teased out spikes, silver make-up sparkling. Victoria, on the other hand, emerged in a pair of yoga pants and a tank top. It was strange, their sudden flip in appearances.

Edward shook his head, putting away the last flashbulb cable.

Women.

He'd never understand them.

When he returned to the Lounge, Victoria and Angela were wrapped together in a hug, speaking earnestly. It was… intimate, and Edward didn't want to intrude.

Instead, he helped Alice coax Jasper off the couch so they could spread it open. Apparently, it was a futon and could be turned into a single bed. Jasper positively refused to sleep on the mattress he'd just been strapped to and tortured on. Edward totally understood.

Yuck.

It was just for a nap, anyway. The couch turned into a nicely vast platform. A cushion made a fine pillow, and Alice rooted up some extra blankets.

Once Victoria and Angela left, Edward made arrangements with Alice for her to phone them in two hours. Jasper assured her it would be enough sleep, and both men felt obliged to make at least an appearance at an event for what was as much their movie as Alice's.

She called out goodbyes, the sound of her heels fading, and a few seconds later, the lights turned off.

It made a strange contrast to the usually busy place.

Shadows took up residence along the walls; the warehouse's industrial ceiling disappeared into velvety blackness. Silence came too, stifling. Only their little cocoon in the corner, lit by the glow from the half-ajar bathroom door, remained; it was a spot of coziness in the vast, echoing and abandoned space.

''So…'' Edward grimaced, unsure, and plopped back down onto the chair from earlier. ''Good night, I guess?''

Man, this was awkward.

Jasper sleepily spoke a few minutes later. ''You're not going to sit there and stare at me, are you? Cause, that's just… uncomfortable. And creepy. Creepy Eddy…'' He chuckled tiredly.

''Well, I…''

What was Edward supposed to do? He'd promised not to leave the man alone.

''Get over here, silly. You can nap too. The couch is kinda hard, but it's better than a metal chair.''

Edward hesitated, turning over the idea in his mind. Jasper simply waited in the dark, giving him time to think.

'' 'kay.'' Edward's voice was soft.

He_ wanted_ to lie close to Jasper. Not in a sexual way.

Well, not _only_ in a sexual way.

It had been another topsy-turvy, high and low day for him too. He was bone-tired.

He toed off his shoes and was about to sit on the edge of the sofa, when Jasper chided him.

''You're not going to sleep in your jeans, are you? Come on, Edward, you'll be fucking uncomfortable! I won't molest you, and it's nothing I haven't seen before anyway. I won't even touch you. See?'' He scooted to the far edge of the platform, patting the space beside him. ''Plenty of room!''

Edward thought a second, before shucking his pants. He couldn't really argue with Jasper's logic. He kept his t-shirt and boxers though. Carefully placing his cell phone on the chair, he crawled into the space by Jasper, and then gingerly stretched out as the other man spread the covers over him.

He immediately discovered that what_ looked_ roomy wasn't at all, at least not for two grown men. Two Alice's would have had plenty of space.

It turned out to be impossible for Jasper to keep his no-touching promise. After a few minutes of awkward shifting, it became obvious that there was no way they could both lay on their backs. Their shoulders were simply too wide to fit side by side.

Finally, Jasper puffed in exasperation. ''This is ridiculous. We've had sex together. You've just jerked off to me getting my dick tortured, and then watched me collapse afterwards. How can sleeping be any worse?''

''Turn on your side.'' His voice brooked no discussion, and Edward complied.

He was caught.

Again.

Edward really thought Jasper had seen nothing. Instead, he'd seen nutting during the shoot. At least he had seen nothing shooting. Or was it not seen nut shooting during shooting? What was that tongue-twisting thing with Peter Piper again? Edward wouldn't mind twisting his tongue on Jasper's pipe...

Seconds later, Edward's mental silliness cut off as he felt the other man's warmth carefully molding to his back.

He blushed a brilliant red, his entire body going rigid. They were… _spooning_! Dear Lord, somehow that felt even MORE gay than actually kissing the man!

After a few panicked minutes filled with visions of black see-through wife-beaters, rainbow bracelets, pink martinis and over-stylized man-purses, Edward eventually calmed.

Jasper radiated warmth.

And peacefulness.

He wasn't attempting to grope any part of Edward's body, even if his arm was slung loosely over Edward's waist. Jasper's solid weight against his back was… comforting. He smelled nice, faint traces of his cologne blending subtly with hints of musk from his earlier _activities._

Finally, relaxing in their snug nest, Edward felt the tension slowly drain from him. From his muscles. But also from his mind. His jumbled thoughts slowed, hypnotized by Jasper's measured steady breaths; a pleasant fuzz replaced all his failed attempts at rationalizing.

As sleep slowly took him, he might have snuggled closer to Jasper.

Just a bit.

Just because it was so… right.

_[HCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHC]_

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><p><em>Right, now for that <em>_SERIOUS AUTHOR'S NOTE:__ I am NOT an expert. But I HAVE dipped my toes in enough to know that D/S is deep, deep uncharted waters. _

_Even light, do-it-at-home (i.e. no specialized props needed) play can have serious consequences. __**It can mess with your mind, your relationship and even your physical integrity.**__ Understood? _

_Good. Now I'm done being a patronizing RL party-pooper. It was just really important for me to portray this aspect of play often made light of in (insanely hot and well written) BDSM fan__**FIC**__s. _

_Lets leave the boys to their nap, *cough* cuddle*cough*, they have a party to attend soon._


	17. Chapter 15: Thunderstorms and Taxis

_Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, but I call dibs on Titlight!_

_All the thanks in the world go to my amazing Beta **Laverett** and her pearly whites for her incredible help!_

_Let's tip-toe back to the couch, I want to watch the two boys sleeping, all entwined..._

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><p><em>[HCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHC]<em>

Shrill blaring woke Edward from a dead sleep two hours later.

Shaking his head in an effort to orient himself, he fumbled around on the chair, effectively knocking his cell phone under the couch.

Cursing, he stumbled up, getting caught in the blankets and stubbing his toe before finally locating the offending piece of plastic. More awkward manipulation finally resulted in silencing the shrieking.

''Yeah?''

Dear God, he sounded like some prehistoric caveman!

Clearing his throat, he sat on the floor and rested his back against the couch, thoughts settling a bit.

'Hello?'' There, that sounded better. Human at least.

Alice laughed, informing him that a pizza was on the way and should arrive at the front door in about ten minutes. ''Tell Jasper to shower, eat and then get over here! Things are starting to heat up.''

Christ, was her voice always so gratingly happy?

Hanging up, he turned to watch a groggy Jasper running his hand over his face. He actually didn't look much better. In fact, Edward thought he looked worse. There were dark shadows under his eyes, and his face was marked by the pillow. He looked adorably sleepy and somewhat grumpy.

''Hey!'' Edward asked gently. ''You okay?''

Jasper shrugged, all sleep-rumpled.

Edward decided that sleep-rumpled looked quite a bit like freshly-fucked.

Hair mussed, lips swollen, eyes glazed…

Fuck.

Jasper's voice was delightfully rough when he spoke. ''I'll be okay. It's just that I don't often sleep well… I could have done with more of it…''

Edward could tell he was trying hard not to let his irritation show.

Grouchy Jasper was cute…

''I'm going to shower.'' the other man grumbled, getting up and stretching. _Fuck_, the shadows thrown over his hard planes in the soft light were just… artistic. Edward wondered if it would be inappropriate for him to lick along the other man's ribs…

As Jasper grabbed some products from Angela's corner, Edward tugged his pants back on and headed towards the front door.

He smoked a cigarette to help finish waking up while he waited for the pizza.

Edward realized he was feeling quite Zen, after all. He wasn't _trying_ to be Zen, he really _was_ all right with his recent homosexual actions.

Somehow, seeing Victoria with Jasper had forced him to move past labels and superficial judgmental clichés. He couldn't ignore how protective he'd felt of Jasper, how POSSESSIVE.

He wanted Jasper.

He'd cared when Jasper was crashing, ready to do anything to make him better. And their tender moment resting together had somehow wiped away any guilt or anger he felt. It simply felt too right to be wrong.

As the pizza delivery guy walked up, Zen-Gay-Edward tried a little experiment. The guy wasn't bad-looking, he thought. Edward wasn't really sure. It bugged his perfectionist researcher side. If he was going to be gay, and okay with that fact, maybe he should find out which men were hot and which ones were not?

Surely there was a Top Hot Men List in one of Rose's magazines… Weren't all the tweens –and their Moms- going crazy over some dude with weird hair who'd done a vampire trilogy? He'd have to Google it later.

Back to the present dilemma. PizzaMan had short-shaved hair and was rather tall with a black tattoo coiling round his biceps.

Edward took a deep breath and purposely tried to imagine himself bending PizzaMan over the bright red pizza delivery car and…

_Yuck!_ Edward shuddered in disgust. Yuck, yuck. He had absolutely NO desire to fuck him.

Surely the guy wasn't even gay.

Thank God.

Edward's indecent thoughts caused him to stutter and scrabble with the pizza and the money, resulting in a rather large tip.

The pizza man walked away, wondering if Edward would have liked some extra-service, as he was well aware of what went down in that studio. He wouldn't be opposed to getting bent over the hood of his delivery car. In fact, it was a longtime fantasy of his…

By the time Edward returned to the studio and flipped the lights on, Jasper was back from the communal locker-room in the basement. He wore only the infamous black leather pants, and was standing at Angela's make-up table.

Fuckfuckfuck.

Before Edward could catch himself, he imagined bending Jasper over the dressing table and slowly sinking his hard dick into the man's ass. He groaned loudly.

Damn.

He experimentally switched the dressing table in his mind for a red pizza-delivery car and had to bite back another groan. Jasper naked except for a red cap and sneakers, asking if he wanted the special sauce… Just as hot…

So it wasn't a pizza-car issue, it was a delivery guy one.

Setting the flat box down, he sank into the couch and watched as Jasper grabbed a pencil from Angela's rack and bent close to the mirror.

''You're going to wear make-up!'' Edward couldn't help the disbelief and somewhat judgmental shock in his voice.

Jasper shrugged, catching his eye in the mirror. ''Not much, just some black eyeliner. I used to wear it all the time. It makes me look bad-ass; it keeps the theme with the leather pants. ''

He applied it quite skillfully, smudging it a bit with his finger. Edward watched, cringing at the idea of putting something sharp in a position to poke him in the eye. On purpose.

Unperturbed, Jasper sank back down into the couch and attacked the pizza with gusto. Half-naked, wearing only black leather and smoky eyeliner.

Jesus.

Edward tried to discretely adjust himself, hoping to prevent another cock-strangling incident. He wasn't altogether successful, as Jasper watched his fingers with a twinkle in his eye.

Edward blushed and grabbed a slice for himself, realizing he was STARVING.

The next minutes were filled with munching sounds and groans of satisfaction, the occasional stomach pat added in for effect.

''Man, that was good. I was really hungry!'' Jasper said.

He had a bit of tomato sauce on his face, Edward realized.

On his left cheek, right where the dimple showed when he smiled.

''Edward?'' Jasper tensed, staring at Edward as the other man slowly leaned forward.

The air in the room seemed to charge with electricity, like before a thunderstorm.

''You have…'' Edward's voice was slow, deeper than usual and trailed off as his thoughts fuzzed, rolling clouds of lust churning. ''There…''

The urge to kiss Jasper grew exponentially, a gusting wind that blew away all other thoughts, ripped at his self control.

Edward moved closer, using a thumb to swipe the offending sauce before pressing his lips to the spot.

Jasper stiffened in surprise, and sighed softly.

Edward placed kisses all along the defined jaw-line on that side, making his way to Jasper's soft lips. The other man responded enthusiastically, tugging Edward's bottom lip between his teeth and sending lightning to pool in Edward's belly.

Thunderstorm weather all right.

Jasper's electric-tingling fingers moved, tracing over Edward, discovering, caressing. He kissed Edward more fiercely, hard frantic drags of swollen lips. Wet and unrelenting; a pelting kiss-rain downpour, drowning them in need.

Shifting, Jasper rose to his knees; an insistent hand on Edward's chest pressed, pressed,_ pressed_ him back down into the couch cushions.

Edward reclined easily, moaning as the other man firmly settled his weight onto him.

He used his own hands to explore greedily all over Jasper's naked flesh.

Jasper was so warm and smooth and hard.

Edward noticed how the texture of his skin changed as he traced circles on his back. It became rougher, uneven from all the little half-moons engraved into it.

It didn't matter. It was _all_ Jasper, as much a part of him as his messy hair or his long fingers; soooo sexy!

Edward panted; he could _feel_ Jasper's hardness against his hip. He spread his thighs, wanting, NEEDING more contact.

He wished Jasper would move. The stillness of his pelvis brought little relief, instead igniting a roaring fire in Edward. As though all the electricity they'd generated had coalesced into that one place; a bright lighting bolt of desire emerged.

His lightning rod.

Edward snorted at his inner-monologue. Oh for God's sake…

Despite an amused part of him that laughed at the inner ramblings of his mind, most of his attention remained firmly grounded in the physical sensations. Lightning rod indeed…

Edward crackled with tension.

He NEEDED to move. Groaning, he rolled his hips. Just a tiny bit. Jasper grunted and pressed, pressed, _pressed_ their flat bellies together, minutely soothing the ache.

Smoothing his hands down Jasper's ass, Edward enjoyed this different feel, slippery leather stretched tight. He pressed, pressed, and _pressed_ his hands into the firm globes, urging the other man closer. He resolutely silenced the rationalizing part of him that tried to protest, aware of what having Jasper any deeper would mean...

For now, this barely restrained almost-dry-hump was everything… was not enough.

When Jasper's fingers suddenly yanked at his hair, in a move so Victoria-like, Edward reacted impulsively. His earlier fantasies heavy in his mind, he moved his hand away and finally, finally, _finally_ gave in to the urge he'd managed to repress earlier.

His palm made a resounding smack and Jasper swore, jerking in a way that provided the most delicious rubbing…

A cracking thunderbolt.

Fingers tingling, Edward made a fist to stop from doing it again.

He focused on kissing Jasper instead, adding tongue, losing himself in the torrential forces. Their passion surged, until, eventually, lack of oxygen forced them apart.

Gasping for breath, Jasper and Edward slowly stilled.

Gradually, their lust-storm calmed.

Kisses grew lighter, turbulent desire sinking into their bones and curling heavy inside.

Flushed, Jasper carefully pushed rogue strands of bronze hair from Edward's forehead, watching them flop back with a smile, defying his efforts to tame them.

Little by little, their racing hearts slowed.

Only their dual heavy, heavy, _heavy _hardness remained, unfulfilled and trapped between them.

Chuckling softly, Jasper pushed himself up onto his forearms, then away entirely.

Edward sucked in a rough breath at the absence, bit back an automatic protest. ''This wasn't over.'' His cock complained.

Sighing, he righted himself.

It WAS over, Edward told it.

At least for now.

Ignoring the angry throbbing, he walked stiffly around the small room, not really wanting to watch Jasper as he covered up his naked flesh.

OVER. He dragged his hand away from his bulge.

Jesus Christ.

Edward stopped by the rolling rack of accessories, his attention drawn by the black leather cuffs Jasper had worn earlier that were lying on top.

They glinted dully, promising dark pleasures. He traced a finger along the rim of one, pushing over the D-ring with a soft clink.

''You should wear them.''

Jasper's voice was soft and Oh-so-Near. Edward's breath hitched, as much from the suggestion as from the burning proximity.

''To the party. You should wear them, add some attitude to that boring preppy outfit.''

Edward opened his mouth to say no, and found the words locked up inside. He WANTED to wear them. He shouldn't. Shouldn't wear them. Shouldn't WANT to wear them. It would send the wrong message.

The remembered image of Jasper's straining fists further blocked his response. The wind of storm whirled alive inside him again, making Edward's head spin.

As Edward struggled for a foothold against the raging lust, Jasper cautiously took advantage of his stillness.

With deliberate movements, he placed a cuff against one of Edward's wrists, then the other. The buckles made soft metallic sounds, as Jasper tightened each one with a firm tug.

Edward bit his lip and turned to stone as desire battled cautiousness.

His task finished, Jasper looked up at Edward through his lashes, the wild lust that boiled within reflected in his eyes.

Still moving soooo slowly, Jasper carefully cupped both hands under one of Edward's and raised the midnight-framed one. He gently turned it over and placed a soft soothing kiss in the center of the palm, curling Edward's long slim fingers over it. After repeating his action with the other hand, he wordlessly turned away.

The trance broke when Jasper stepped back.

Edward moved his wrists in the cuffs, appreciating the unyielding stiff way they enveloped the delicate bones.

Dry-mouthed, he checked out the effect in the mirror. They were accessories, added to embellish his look it seemed. Yet Edward knew they were real, only needing to be chained in place to force him to unspeakable acts. They were just a little too sturdy, a little too chunky.

It was the potential that was killing him, forcing a small whimper from his closed mouth.

A dark promise.

From Jasper.

Sealed with a loving kiss.

Jasper practically vibrated, his face severe with restraint as he tossed Edward his jacket. A forbidden shared secret, yet so blatantly visible to all…

_Fuck._

_[HCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHC]_

The cab ride to the party turned out to be really long.

The event was set in a posh hotel reception room, a most trendy place according to Rose. It was also far from everything else, located beside a golf course and a spa, strategically positioned near the airport.

The first part of the drive passed in silence, both men staring out their respective windows as the city lights streamed by.

Edward grew calmer, more in control. He absentmindedly twisted his wrists, aware of the strength of the leather even if his coat hid the cuffs.

''So…'' Jasper began. ''I guess we should talk?''

''We… we should?''

Crap, Edward hated talking things out. It was one of the reasons he hadn't had any serious girlfriends. He wouldn't rehash and explore whatever issue arose, inevitably pulling away into himself and eventually breaking off the relationship.

This was unfair!

Talking things out was a girl thing. If he was going to be gay, he at least hoped he would get a break! Did that mean Jasper was the girl in their not-couple? Jasper wore make-up… Did Jasper get PMS too?

''Just…'' Jasper fidgeted, staring at his hands. He didn't seem to want to talk that much. He looked quite uncomfortable as he clumsily continued.

''I know all this…'' he waved between himself and Edward ''… is new for you. I just wanted to make sure you're, you know, dealing okay?''

Edward drummed his fingers on his thigh.

''Yes,'' he answered tightly. Edward blushed, remembering. ''I'm fine. I me-me-mean it's sc-scary and all. Bu-but itttt's cool.''

Fuck, stuttering. AGAIN.

''I want thh-thhiis. I want _you.'' _

Edward clammed up at his admission and peaked at Jasper from the corner of his eyes. The man was anxiously running his fingers through his hair again.

''Good. That's good.'' Jasper's fingers flitted to his coat pocket where his cigarettes were, before dropping to rest on his knee.

''Ar-are we done talking?'' Edward asked earnestly.

''Yes.'' Jasper's answer was thankful.

''Thank God. I appreciate the concern, but I HATE talking.''

Both Jasper and Edward heaved simultaneous sighs of relief. Their eyes caught and suddenly they were giggling.

''You _talked_ well enough the other day. In fact, you _talked_ pretty loudly.'' Jasper told him when he'd calmed down.

''You too. And Alice yelled more.'' Edward replied, defensive.

''Well, I was MAD.'' Jasper countered.

''Me too.'' Edward said.

And then they were giggling again. The whole day was just so ridiculously surreal.

Besides, they weren't giggling; they were _laughing._ Because men didn't giggle. Even sexual-orientationally-undefined ones.

No, real men _chuckled_.

They did NOT giggle.

Between gasps, Jasper proposed. ''Maybe we need to find an alley…'' To which Edward maturely stuck his tongue out.

And of course they _chortled _some more after that.

The taxi driver stared at them in the mirror, bushy eyebrows raised and looking thoroughly convinced they were crazy. Which just made it worse.

Wiping tears from his eyes, Edward finally calmed down except for the occasional convulsive chuckle-laugh-chortle-not-giggle.

Out of the blue, Jasper asked him ''So, are you drinking tonight?''

''What?''

''At the party, are you going to… enjoy the free drinks?''

''I, well, I thought I would. I planned to get a little liquid courage to start things with you. But after this afternoon… I don't think I really NEED it. Maybe a couple glasses, not stinking drunk, I guess. Why?''

''Well, that hotel is damn far away. I don't want to have to take this cab ride back when I'm half-drunk and tired, since my car is back at the studio… So… I'm getting a room. Do you… want to share?''

It was a brilliant plan, for a spur of the moment one. It was not at all caused by Jasper's blue balls. No, he was simply being the voice of reason.

Edward thought it through. Sharing a room. With Jasper. Fuck.

Wait, scratch that.

Not-Fuck. Edward wasn't quite sure he was ready to take that step.

The other man continued, interpreting his silence as hesitation instead of not-fucking nerves. ''A double room, if you like. We'll each have our own bed. It's just… logical.''

Jasper wasn't about to admit that he was hoping to find a way to convince a not-quite-drunk Edward to slip into HIS bed. And see where that led. Fuck.

Or not-fuck.

Whatever. Surely he could be convinced to sixty-nine?

Edward nodded, pensive. Yes, it was reasonable. The drive out was long and boring. And he didn't have his car either.

So, it was because of logic that Edward agreed.

Two beds, it didn't mean anything. It was just common sense. It had absolutely no link whatsoever to the suddenly revived warmth in his belly. Man, his balls still felt swollen after their aborted make-out/grind session.

''Sure.'' Edward's voice was carefully nonchalant ''But… I don't have my toothbrush.''

Jasper laughed, quietly. ''If that's the only issue…''

Edward shrugged. It was true. Edward was really strict about his dental hygiene, especially if he was going to kiss Jasper. And maybe not-fuck him. Unless it was not-get-fucked by him? Fuck!

Slouching into the car seat as the airport lights approached, Edward tried to plan a way to casually slip into Jasper's bed.

For some fucking friendly not-fucking.

_[HCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHC]_

By the time they arrived at the hotel, neither man had been really successful in their ''Operation: Initiate Not-Fuck'' plans.

It was the receptionist who eliminated the need for any plan at all.

She informed them dryly that at such late notice, the hotel was almost fully booked and the only available rooms contained one King bed.

After a few shy glances, some humming and hand wringing with a blush or two, they were handed the magnetic key-cards to their room.

Their room.

Their room with one huge King-size bed. Which they were taking only because of logic, of course.

It was just their bad luck that they HAD to share the bed…

Fuck.

Or not-fuck.

Whatever.

They had a room!

* * *

><p><em>*claps hands delightedly*<em>

_Potential, potential, potential. __I'm so proud of Edward!_

_You can support this story (and discover many others) by voting at **thesunflowerawards [dot] blogspot [dot] com**_

_There are 3 730 000 000 Google hits for Top Hot Men. Poor Edward has his work cut out!_


	18. Chapter 16: Toothbrushes and Mattresses

_Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, but I call dibs on Titlight!_

_The Evil Email Goblin conspired to prevent this chapter from posting by repeatedly snacking on attachments... Funny, my amazing Beta **Laverett **and I had been Goblin-free for a while now, at first it was really active. Actually, it went in hiding probably around the BDSM chaps... Think it was scared of Victoria? Or just wacking off to the kinky sex?_

_This chapter was inspired by a **Pervy Picspiration** image on the **Perv Packs Smut Shack.** BUT it was a while ago, since I'm usually a few chapters ahead of you guys. So even if it was written (mostly) during the required week, I couldn't very well post it since you were all hanging on the edge of your seats deep in D/S land. So NO, this story is not linked on the site. But I'd still like to give credit where it's due. And a great visual too... Check it out! _

_Pervy picspiration link: www [dot] pervpackssmutshack [dot] com/2012/01/pervy-picspiration-1-6-2012 [dot] html_

_Second picture… See if you can find it in the text!_

* * *

><p><em>[HCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHC]<em>

The party was quite a success.

This wasn't much of a surprise, since it was planned by Alice and Rosalie.

All the right people were there, the canapés were absolutely hip, the décor circumspectly luxurious. There was even a drink that had been created in honor of the movie Titlight, some kind of fruity dark red drink that you swirled a stick in.

Surprisingly, considering how Edward felt like his whole life had turned upside down, he was able to slip easily into Headward mode.

This was work, after all!

So Edward squared his shoulders, set a sexy half-grin on his pouty lips, and mingled. He charmed the ladies, flirtatious comments flowing like silk over smooth skin. He laughed with the men, finding a way to compliment them on their wives or commenting on the single ladies in strapless cocktail dresses. He talked success and potential with the financers. He promised a different kind of porn, stressing Alice's creative vision to those who claimed to be artists.

He was relaxed, confident and charming.

He was _Headward Cullen, King of pussy._

Edward feeling so in character was surely helped by the residual sexual tension he felt. It created some intangible aura that people picked up on unconsciously. He was ready… and others reacted.

Every time Edward inadvertently caught sight of the black cuffs hugging his wrists, a jolt of lust ran straight to his middle. And the flat plastic rectangle in his back pocket seemed to burn a hole through his jeans, stoking the fire. Little chips of wood tossed onto the glowing embers, crackling flares of potential.

Of course, Jizzper didn't remain by his side.

Jasper was totally in his vampire-lover role too. He radiated dangerous lust, making the ladies blush and the men shift a bit uncomfortably. He was outrageous and sometimes shocking, yet kept enough of his boyish charm to remain friendly.

Jizzper flirted unabashedly; kissing hands with a flourish, staring a bit too long into blue eyes, pushing a loose strand of hair behind an ear, allowing his hand to linger on a lower back.

Jasper found himself struggling to rein himself in a bit with the men. His adventures with Edward had awakened an ache inside, and he tried very carefully to remain appropriate around the straight men. He might have pushed a few, sensing responsiveness or curiosity, and caused cleared throats, gulped beers and lingering looks.

Bella was there too, lilting laugh and warm brown eyes.

Alice sparkled; her passion and energy making her seem larger than her small size.

And Rose… well Rose was all regal and sexy, somewhat haughty and nevertheless had a gaggle of men trailing after her. As usual.

Edward and Jasper didn't cross paths till much later, as the fête was winding down.

However, Edward was _aware_ of Jasper, in a way he never had been with anyone else. He _knew_ when the man was close by, even if he couldn't see him.

Tingles would run over his body; he would turn and catch Jasper quickly looking away. Fire-staring, again. Like a part of him was an antenna, picking up Jasper's frequency.

Edward knew exactly which part of him was said antenna; his lightning rod.

He snorted into his glass of champagne at the thought.

Seriously, he was ridiculous. At least the party had allowed him a reprieve from the near constant hard-on of the day.

As the action wound down, people slipping away in ones and twos, Edward headed over to congratulate Alice.

''It was perfect.'' He told her.

She grinned proudly, if a bit tiredly. ''Thanks! Now I just have to live up to my promises…''

''You will!'' Jasper joined them, pulling Alice in a side-by-side hug. They looked comfortable, Alice resting her head on the side of his chest. Too bad Edward was too tall to make that position work for them… He wouldn't mind being pressed to Jasper's side like that…

''I'm… going to go to bed. It's been a long day.'' Edward said.

He studiously avoided looking at Jasper as he spoke. Oh, dear. What if Jasper wanted to tell everyone about their room? Edward felt a nervous flush rise up his neck. Jasper thought it looked like an aroused flush. Not wanting to scare Edward away, he played along, humming noncommittally.

''It sure has! Bye hun! Oh and Edward, I want to see you and Jasper tomorrow. I have some movie scene changes to discuss.'' Alice informed him, almost an afterthought.

''Ok. Bye! I'll see you all later!'' Edward responded. Later as in _ten minutes later,_ he thought as he turned to Jasper.

Jasper leaned forward for a quick arm-clasp-hug, purposely yanking the ring of the cuff as he did and enjoying Edward's lip biting response.

Edward muttered something unintelligible, turning away quickly to kiss Rosalie on the cheek and retrieve his coat.

Jasper chatted a few extra minutes with Alice and Rose, before announcing he was tired too.

''I know. Poor baby.'' Alice softly brushed his hair from his face. ''I kinda feel responsible. I hadn't thought… I mean, I knew scening with Victoria would affect you, but I hadn't realized how much. I should be sorry, and I am and at the same time, I'm not. You needed it, you…''

She wrung her hands, a very un-Alice nervous gesture.

''Hey!'' Jasper felt compelled to reassure her, pulling her into proper hug and speaking into her fruity-smelling hair product. ''I'm okay. You were right. You're always right. I mean sure, there were parts of today that… dragged me back. But I'll be fine. And I learned stuff. I trusted you. And I still do. So don't feel guilty.''

Alice hugged him tightly for a bit, then pulled away as Rose appeared with their coats.

''We're sharing a cab back to the studio, want to join in?'' she asked.

Jasper shrugged, trying to keep his face neutral. ''Uh, no thanks.''

He shoved his hands into his pockets. ''Actually, I got a room; I didn't feel like spending an hour driving back.''

''It's not an hour,'' Rose informed him dryly, ''its forty-three minutes... Don't start!'' She warned, turning to Alice.

''Well that's still forty-two minutes too long to be listening to you guys gossip about every single person who was here, and their whole family too.''

''We do NOT!''

''Do too. Did you see the dress Lauren was wearing? I think she had her boobs done again…''

''I know, it was sooo slutty. And that color…'' Alice gushed enthusiastically, before realizing she'd been caught and clapping her hands over her mouth.

''Fine. Okay.'' She grumbled. ''Sleep well then. Call me tomorrow; I want to see you and Edward for a cast meeting. We have stuff to talk about.''

Jasper nodded and waved goodbye, then lost patience waiting for the elevator and sprinted up three flights of steps instead.

Towards his room.

Their room.

The room where Edward waited for him.

Where anything could not-happen.

_[HCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHC]_

The room itself was pretty much as Jasper'd expected.

It was flawlessly designed and had that industrial-chic look that Manhattan lofts did. There was a bank of tall frosted windows beginning at waist height all along the far wall. The wall itself was a distressed grayish-white. The furniture was modern and dark, with silver accents. A large abstract painting in reds and oranges graced the wall above the bed.

The bed.

It was endlessly vast and puffy pure white. Jasper turned his gaze away before the potential it represented made his dick do more than twitch.

Edward was nowhere to be seen, but the bathroom door was ajar and spilled light into the room.

Removing his shoes and jacket, Jasper peered into the other room.

Like the rest of the building, it was stylish and impeccably impersonal. A glass enclosure surrounded a tiled shower. The sink on the vanity wasn't round; it was a smart raised rectangle with brushed metal faucets.

Edward stood in front, staring at the counter.

''Edward?'' Jasper stepped behind him cautiously.

He realized Edward wasn't staring at the speckled countertop. He was frozen, looking at two wrapped toothbrushes lying perfectly aligned by the sink.

They were nothing special.

In fact, they were pretty cheap as far toothbrushes went, if you asked Jasper. They were plastic, that same yellowish-beige color the refrigerator had been in his youth. The bristles were square and white, definitely no rotating or pulsing happening there.

Edward slowly turned, his expression guarded. ''Those toothbrushes… it was you?''

Jasper shrugged, uncomfortable. ''Yeah. It just seemed important to you, so I asked at the reception when I booked the room. It's nothing really…''

Edward's eyes smoldered, and he swallowed.

''Thank you.'' He said seriously.

Then he leaned forward and pressed a strong kiss to Jasper's lips, only stopping when the need for air made him.

''If I'd known how dental equipment affects you, I'd have gotten floss too!'' Jasper joked, uneasy under Edward's intense gaze.

Edward was staring so strongly because that little gesture had turned him inside out.

Jasper _listened_ when he spoke.

He _understood_.

He looked out for him.

He didn't judge.

It made Edward feel warm inside. Not ablaze-fucking-out-of-control-horny-hot. Well, that too. But also a slow burn that felt good, thawing at his heart and frozen emotions.

He felt… appreciated. Taken care of.

He couldn't remember _ever_ feeling that way. His parents had always been aloof and cold, simply expecting him to be mature. And it was unheard of for them to not have their expectations met.

The myriad of girls who'd spun in and out of his bed… well… he certainly hadn't felt like that with them.

It unsettled him.

Again.

Just when he was finally accepting that he was sexually attracted to a man, the feeling morphed into… maybe… something more than sex.

Fuck.

So Edward did the only thing he possibly could.

He solemnly handed a toothbrush to Jasper, and brushed.

And brushed.

He brushed furiously, foaming and minting until he could spit all his unsettling emo thoughts out and swirl them down the drain.

Jasper watched him, one eyebrow raised in amusement and wet toothbrush held in his hand.

''Well. If you're always that… vigorous… You won't have any gums left by the time you're fifty. Or teeth either. I heard that creates some interesting sensations during blow jobs…''

He laughed, and Edward joined in, blushing and feeling foolish for his overcompensating behavior.

So Edward did the only thing he possibly could.

Again.

He tried to shove the other man into the toilet bowl, managing to back him up before he realized what Edward was doing, then pushing on his shoulders to try to force him to sit down in the water.

''Hey!'' Jasper resisted, leaning sideways, discovering a tickly spot in Edward's ribs and using it to his advantage.

Edward responded with a brilliant foot hooked behind the other man's ankle, unbalancing him. He HADN'T anticipated the sudden clamping of two strong arms around his middle that resulted in him being dragged down too.

The next minutes were confused, as they tussled.

An ass was grabbed; someone's hair was pulled, and then pulled again at the throaty groan it caused. An elbow cracked against the floor. A tongue was dragged distractingly along a jaw; then evilly inserted and wiggled in an ear canal. Someone might have yelped like a girl.

Then it was just general wriggling and shoving, with no clear plan, except it_ did_ cause delicious friction. A cock or two might have perked at the sensations of hard bodies rubbing.

Finally, their laughing completely erased any possibility of a clear winner and they eventually picked themselves out of the space between the vanity and the toilet, righted the bath mat, and entered the bedroom feeling much less awkward.

Within minutes, both men were stripped to their boxers and crawling into bed.

If this had been a movie, a porn movie, no doubt there would have been wild copulating happening, Edward thought. Even a soft-core movie would have included some seriously sensual making out.

He was just going to enjoy the cushiony feel of the airy mattress a bit before…

Jasper had firmly planned to have his way with Edward. He hadn't planned on the pillows being so soft and inviting, despite smelling faintly of industrial cleaning.

He should kiss Edward at least, Jasper thought fuzzily.

He shuffled closer, twining himself around the other man. Edward didn't turn into a rigid board at the feel this time. His arms wrapped around Jasper, pulling him closer. He nuzzled into his hair, possibly inhaling sleepily.

It was soooo comfortable…

Edward could feel his thoughts blurring as Jasper's warmth sunk into him.

Wait.

There was something he should do…

Oh.

Right.

_Wild copulating._

Damn, that sounded tiring. Maybe just a teeny tiny nap before. You know, to get his energy levels up.

Jasper was growing heavier against him, relaxing. Edward had a brief spark of energy as he realized Jasper might think he was chickening out!

''Jasper?'' He mumbled.

''Hmmm?''

Did Jasper just snuffle into his chest hair? That was so adorably cute!

''I just have to tell you that I really wanted…'' Edward trailed off, not really sure what exactly he HAD wanted, not specifically, and feeling too muddled with sleep to sort it out. ''I really wanted… something… to happen tonight.''

Jasper smiled against him, Edward could feel his cheek tightening.

''Yeah. Me too, Edward. I really want… something. Just later... plenty of time…'' he dragged off, his breaths slowing.

Edward dimly hoped he didn't snore.

Or drool.

Onto his chest.

Panic pressed into the crevices of the warm fuzzy blanket dragging him into blackness. It shrank back, beaten by the comfort of having Jasper close. Edward couldn't be bothered to push him off, as sleep overtook him.

Even if he drooled.

Surely he didn't.

Right?

_[HCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHC]_

Edward awoke to motherfucking sunlight streaming cheerily right into his eyes. It traced kaleidoscope patterns in his mind. Indistinct blobs of pink and yellow seemed to chase each other on the back of his closed eyelids, alternating with jagged streaks of neon green.

Jesus Christ, retinas; calm the fuck down!

Edward had never been able to sleep unless it was pitch black. And he needed to piss. If he could, he had the boner-to-outbone-all-boners too.

Trying to open his eyes was a half-successful endeavor. He might have whimpered at the gritty feel, vague blurry shapes all he could make out of the room. He was disoriented for a second or two, before it all filtered back.

The room.

Jasper.

The not-fucking.

Swinging himself up, he stumbled to the bathroom, eyes streaming. Holy Mother of…

He was never sleeping with his contacts on again!

Removing the irritating disks, Edward heaved a sigh of relief. He could almost make out the shadowy white shape of the toilet and tried to take aim. At least he no longer felt like someone was taking sandpaper to his corneas.

Splashing his face with water, he brushed his teeth again, smiling at the memory of last night.

Fumbling in his coat pocket produced his lifesaving glasses. Black and chunky, they gave him a nerdy look Alice called sexy. She was the one who'd picked them out. He couldn't really choose for himself, since he couldn't actually SEE himself clearly enough while trying on ones with no strength.

Things were looking good.

He could see, and he no longer had to pee!

He spied the clock and realized it was already half past nine. So apparently, he HAD managed to sleep for a while in broad daylight.

There remained a persistent problem in his shorts. Edward groped himself a bit, shuddering at the contact. Fuck. But he couldn't jerk off with Jasper a few meters away. He had dropped to that low just yesterday, he wasn't going there again.

Maybe a cigarette would help calm him down.

Carefully dragging his jeans up, his hand brushed the hard length again and he knew it wouldn't.

This wasn't just any wood. It wasn't a spindly crooked baby sapling. No, this was a gigantic Hardwood, proud and reaching for the sky, rooted deep into his very core.

No way in hell was it going away by itself without some serious stroking.

Or just stroking, judging by how responsive he felt.

Not that much stroking at all, probably.

_Embarrassingly_ not-that-much-stroking. Christ.

How had it come to this?

Two weeks ago, Edward had been happily straight, enjoying a life of sex and simple pleasures. Sure, he was going through it in a frozen grey cocoon. And his relationship with his family was strained at best. He was coasting along.

But it was what he knew. It was comfortable. And now…

Now he couldn't tell up from down.

He was standing in a hotel room, desperate for relief and disappointed because he hadn't had sex _with a man_!

Without realizing it, Edward started pacing, his body moving intently, trying to flee the nervous tension that was building inside. He walked towards the windows, tracing an unconscious circuit along the length of the room and back again.

Now… it was even more complicated than simple lust.

There was this warm melty feeling inside him at some of Jasper's actions. Like the toothbrush. The way he ran a hand through his hair. The Guyliner. It was dangerous, a slippery slope.

Besides, melty wasn't even a word.

Instinct made him want to run, to move far away, protect himself and never look back. Forget their playful skirmish in the bathroom. The fire-stare tingles of awareness. The black cuffs lying on the bedside table.

Fuck, the cuffs!

Edward's feet stopped abruptly. Because to top it all off, apparently Edward wasn't even a dominant! He was some wussy sub.

Edward clutched at his hair, curling over as his mind raced in turmoil.

How the fuck was he supposed to deal with all this. He'd never claimed to be normal; he could feel hysteria trying to shove in. If only his dick would settle down…

_[HCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHC]_

When Jasper woke up, he was disoriented for a few moments. Whose bed was he in? Not his own, that was for sure. Then he remembered.

The room.

Edward.

The not-fucking.

Where_ was_ Edward?

Peering around sleepily, Jasper felt a strong wave of lust roll over him when he spied him. The other man was motionless before the wall of windows.

His jeans hung dangerously low on his slim lips. Was that a hard line pressing in the crotch? Jasper squinted. The blazing daylight cast Edward's tight abs into stark relief. He was a bit hunched over, clutching the windowsill and tugging at his hair. Wait, was that the side of some black glasses?

Focusing on his face, Jasper frowned.

Oh crap.

Edward was freaking out again.

Jasper understood. He was usually very level-headed, and even he was overwhelmed by their rapidly evolving… relationship.

Still, from what he knew of Edward, it was best to snap him out of it.

Adorably unstable Edward.

Bespectacled Edward; yum!

''Hey!''

Edward didn't respond.

Sliding out of bed and stretching, Jasper gently called again.

''Hey! Edward? Are you ok?''

Jasper steadily met Edward's wide-startled green eyes, staring from behind what were indeed some squarish black glasses.

Edward's fingers carefully released his hair, curling into a fist.

He shrugged, looking spooked.

''Edward. You're freaking out again.''

Jasper moved towards the man, stopping in front of him. He deliberately placed a hand on his tense biceps.

''Do you want to talk about it?'' He offered.

Edward chewed on his bottom lip, which he really shouldn't do because it did_ things _to Jasper's unsatisfied arousal from yesterday. _Things_ like wake it up something fierce. Finally, he shook his head.

No.

He didn't want to talk about it. Not with Jasper anyway. He didn't trust himself not to spill these newfound_ feelings_ with him. Whatever they were, because Edward refused to name them.

He wasn't ready yet.

''Do you want me to distract you?''

Jasper's words might sound innocent, but Edward could see his eyes darken as he spoke.

Fuck.

Rather; to fuck or not to fuck?

That was indeed the question…

_[HCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHC]_

* * *

><p><em>First off, I'm tipping my hat to <strong>ChefJayla<strong> and **KM525** for teaching me the word Guyliner. I snorted coffee and giggled for fifteen minutes after I read it in your reviews. You guys (and all who review) are amazing!_

_Secondly, another thank you goes out to **Twilightreaderaddict** for the line in her review that was the best ending for this chapter, ever. Really sums it up, don't you think?_

_And finally, don't get too mad if you had high expectations for the party and the room. So did the boys... But they are still just human, and it was a really long day... And now Edward has feelings... And anyway, they aren't out of the room yet, and if this chapter is smut-free, the next one is almost 85% smut..._

_Someone's glasses are about to get foggy!_


	19. Chapter 17,1: Fogged Up Glasses

_Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, but I call dibs on Titlight!_

_So, did you miss me last week? It's just that the next two chapters go so well together, they HAD to be posted at the same time... Two sides of a coin, ya know?_

_Beta'd by the fabulous** Laverett**, as always._

_Oh, and I might as well warn you; rated **M** for **slash** and **sexual content**. (although you can breathe easy, it's not the extreme kink we had with Victoria...) In fact this chapter is 99.2% lemon... Let's get to it then, shall we? Jasper thought Edward needed distracting..._

* * *

><p><em>[HCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHC]<em>

Taking a deep breath, Edward nodded.

Yes.

He wanted Jasper. He'd wanted him sooo badly for sooo long he couldn't battle it anymore.

Fuck feelings and homosexuality and complications.

Jasper's eyes burned even darker, his lashes closing briefly then rising, sooo heavy lidded.

He stepped closer.

Edward could feel his body heat; this man was like a furnace.

Jasper carefully ran his hands up Edward's arms, and then moved them in slow circles on his back.

''Don't think,'' Jasper whispered.

He moved closer still, not touching Edward except for pressing their lips together. Edward moaned too loudly at the feeling, unable to help himself.

God, it felt good to finally do this. It felt right.

Opening his mouth, Edward tried to deepen the kiss, but Jasper fled; he placed little biting nips all along Edward's jaw, heading towards his ear. For although Edward was caught in the moment, Jasper remembered his toothbrush obsession and was acutely aware he'd just jumped out of bed.

Jasper nuzzled Edward's earlobe, panting heavily and eliciting a breathless laugh.

His nose caught on the thick plastic frame that tucked behind the ear, making Edward's glasses tilt and his world shift.

When he raised a shaky hand to remove them, Jasper batted it away.

''No. Keep them. They're hot.'' Fuck, his voice sounded so sinfully rough. ''_You're_ hot. So fucking hot. I've imagined doing this all day, yesterday… All night…''

Jasper placed one last firm, close-lipped kiss on Edward's mouth before carefully blowing into his glasses.

''Jazz…'' Edward complained as fog filled his vision, turning everything fuzzy.

Jasper felt the hair on his arms stand up, inexplicably.

Now why…

Oh.

Edward had used his special nickname. The one Alice did. And it made Jasper shiver to hear the breathy use of the affectionate term from Edward. How easily it slid out…

How right.

''Shsshhshshsh.'' Jasper chided, ignoring his mushy-side. ''Don't worry. Don't see. Just feel… Trust me!''

Jasper sank to his knees, making Edward jump when his fingers brushed bare belly as he tugged the belt loose and the zip down.

He'd been right; there was a hard line stretching the midnight black of Edward's boxers. Jasper brought his nose closer and maybe rubbed his face in a bit.

Edward smelled like sex.

Musk and sweat, with a faint trace of soap lingering.

Jasper wasn't put off by it, not at all. It was to be expected; Edward had been raging hard during the scene most of yesterday afternoon, not to mention the couch action and he hadn't showered last night.

Of course he smelled like sex.

Jasper might have growled a bit.

Impatient, he tugged Edward's cock out and over the elastic band.

And maybe growled a bit louder.

Suddenly, Jasper lost all restraint. He'd firmly intended to tease Edward for a while, ease him into the sensation of having a man blow him until he begged for more. But seeing that wet shiny pink, mostly stretched out of its foreskin, he lost all patience.

Jasper plunged right in, immediately trying to devour Edward's cock whole. He sank as deep as he could, wet warmth and sliding tongue suddenly enveloping an unsuspecting, fogged up Edward.

Edward jerked and swore, one hand coming to clutch at Jasper's shoulder as his body almost folded from the overwhelming sensations.

Fuck, fuck, _fuck._

For those first few strokes, Jasper_ tasted_ sex on Edward. It only made him want more.

Then, as his saliva coated the hard length, it wasn't so much about taste as it was about texture. So smooth and a bit spongy, a few veins tracing raised patterns on the shaft. Edward's foreskin had magically disappeared it seemed, as he hardened to maximum length.

When Jasper pushed deep, deep,_ deep_, as far as he could, holding his breath and tilting his head just so, his lips almost-not-quite reached that place where a tendon stretched tight, anchoring Edward's length and pulling it up towards his belly.

Pulling off completely for a much needed breath -it had been a long time since Jasper tried to deep-throat a cock and Edward had considerable girth too- Jasper moved lower, wanting more sensations sliding along his mouth. He wanted to know ALL of Edward.

In time, he didn't doubt he would.

The elastic of Edward's underwear caught across his chin, resisting his efforts, but he was still able to tongue at Edward's balls. Jasper managed to suck one into his mouth, enjoying the loose-yet-tight feel.

Releasing it with a pop, he moved back to Edward's shaft, beginning a deep in-out swallowing motion.

As he focused more on getting Edward off and not so much on exploring the exposed flesh, adding a hand to stroke the base in counter-rhythm to his mouth, Jasper's sensory input began to center more on sound.

Edward was quite vocal.

Jasper had already noticed that before, and found it very appealing. Edward groaned and swore softly, his breath hitching deliciously. He moaned louder when Jasper discovered what worked best, like dragging the sensitive head along the inside of his cheek or tapping it rapidly on his parted lips.

Edward's hips rocked a bit, and he seemed unsure what to do with his arms as Jasper added tongue to his firm plunges.

Edward reached down to grab at Jasper, tightly gripping his shoulder, then his collarbone; the next second he was sliding his fingers lightly through Jasper's hair. As Jasper sank deep, deep, _deep_ once more, Edward grunted noisily; his fingers clenched, twisting a fistful of curls and nearly causing him to have his dick bit off as the sensation sent a spike of lust through Jasper.

Immediately, Edward's hand stroked apologetically along Jasper's cheek, and then it was gone. It went roaming along Edward's own torso, then was held with a bent elbow behind a tilted head in a way that stretched Edward's toned body gloriously, before coming down to press fretfully on the elastic of his underwear.

Jasper recognized the fidgeting for what it was.

Edward was in conflicted sensation overload, his body and mind unsure how to deal with all the pleasure created. Edward wanted to urge him along yet was restricted by their undefined relation.

Was it okay to grab Jasper's head and direct him?

God that felt so good.

Did he want to cum right now, like this?

Or should he wait?

Wait for what?

How far did Edward want to go?

What was the next step?

_Fuck, had Jasper just scraped his teeth on his shaft?_

Edward couldn't think...

Edward's world, unlike Jasper's, wasn't focused on one sense. Instead, all the stimulation swirled together, leaving him helpless and panting.

Touch, as Jasper did amazing things with his tongue while still managing to maintain considerable suction around his dick.

Smell, as sweat and sex filled the air.

Sound, wet slurps and grunts only increasing the erotic factor.

Taste, a sudden rush of copper across his tongue as he bit the inside of his cheek to try to keep from screaming out.

And sight…

Well, sight returned slowly, as the fog gradually lifted from his glasses. At first it was just the sunlight, hazy brightness. Then blurry outlines, the dark shape of Jasper at his feet. As the fog crept outwards, leaving clear patches towards the center of the lenses, Edward could finally really see the other man as he pleasured him.

Strong and so golden, awash in the slanting light. His hair was all bedroom mussed, and his tight white boxers molded to his swollen groin. The intense concentration on Jasper's face was enthralling, until his eyes suddenly opened and glowing hazel stared up at Edward through thick lashes, determined to swallow all of him.

After that, sight was lost to darkness.

It was too much, and Edward's eyes closed as his head fell back.

It signaled the end of playing around. Jasper's movements were focused and timeless, bringing maximum pleasure. No more games, or complicated identity issues.

Only that primitive give and take.

In and out.

Slip and slide.

Pleasured and pleaser. Although Jasper would have argued it was as hot for him as for Edward. It was giddily empowering to be able to affect someone so totally.

Edward had finally settled, his conflicted movements calming as the pleasure focused, tingling in his cock and belly. He was back to slipping soft locks of Jasper's hair through his fingers, occasionally digging his fingertips into Jasper's scalp.

A torrent of words escaped Edward, soft and hoarse; a mindless litany. Jasper was pretty sure he wasn't even aware of it, his filter dissolved as his guard relaxed.

''…Oh, God…''

''…Jasper… ''

''…Tha-that feels so good….''

''…Mmmmm….''

''…Fuck…''

''…More…''

''…Hah!...''

''…So_ Gooooddd_…''

Edward's face grew passionate, his expression intense. His eyebrows slowly drew together as his thighs tensed. He forced his eyes open, determined to watch Jasper blow him. Edward shook as the visual further heightened his excitement. Jasper was so beautiful…

Edward stopped fighting. Stopped fighting himself, fighting his pleasure and prejudice. His orgasm was drawing close. Inevitable.

''Jazz…'' he whined… ''_Tooo_ good…''

It was as much warning as he could give in his pleasure-scattered state of mind.

''Do it. Let go, Edward.''

Jasper's voice was rough and passionate, as he triumphantly dove back onto Edward's cock. He sank deep a few more times, bringing a hand to firmly grasp the base.

Then, as Edward moaned and jerked convulsively, Jasper moved back up to swallow only around the head. He did so, again and again, dragging out the release for Edward. The man shook and made those luscious sounds, grunt-groans of pure fulfillment.

Salty essence- slightly bitter- flooded Jasper's mouth; it was a stronger taste,a more cloying version of the first few licks.

Pure Edward.

For Jasper.

Swallowing, Jasper grinned up at Edward, resting his forehead on a strong thigh. Edward was still floating in gravity-free pleasure other-space, face slack.

Jasper couldn't resist one last slurp on Edward's spent dick, earning him a groaning _hey,_ a violent shudder and a push backwards.

He grinned wider, and Edward responded with a dreamy half-smile. He pushed his glasses up his sweaty nose and shuffled backwards awkwardly, pants still around his knees.

''Need… sit… Fuck, Jasper!''

Edward sank down on the edge of the bed, quickly removing his bunched-up pants, and long peaceful moments passed in silence. Edward idly observed how the sunlight caressed the still-kneeling Jasper with an awed expression.

Damn, that was intense.

It was clearly among the best blowjobs of his life.

And Headward had been blown by the best.

It wasn't so much the technique, which was spotless, but the connection Edward felt with Jasper.

Jasper carefully pushed himself upright, and suddenly Edward was face to crotch with reality.

Jasper was a man.

A man who was barely contained, straining his tight boxers. So obviously aroused. Of course. Slim fingers wrapped around the bulge, giving it a squeeze, before Jasper launched himself onto the bed behind Edward, lying on his back.

He sprawled, purposely poking a heel into the side of Edward's ass.

''Jasper.'' Edward complained.

The hard ball dug in more.

''JASPER!'' Edward warned.

Jasper's face was being split in two by his smirk. Mischievously, he worked his solid heel from side to side, trying to push Edward off the bed.

When Edward growled, Jasper gleefully wiggled his toes in for added effect.

''Jasper!''

Edward's command was short and he suddenly leapt up and pounced on the annoying intruder. Straddling him, he glared through narrowed lids.

Well, he tried to.

It was a bit difficult to glare at someone who'd just given you the orgasm of a lifetime.

Someone who's eyes twinkled so happily.

Especially when that someone stuck the tip of his tongue out. His very talented tongue.

''Be nice.'' Edward sternly admonished. ''Let a man enjoy his post-orgasmic glow, will you-ou!''

His last syllable was forced out twice, in a huff, because Jasper sharply lifted his hips, pushing Edward forward. And for a few seconds, his clothed erection pressed right between Edward's naked cheeks.

The atmosphere shifted, lightheartedness evaporated.

Fuck.

Jasper's face might be playful and serene, but being that hard had to hurt.

Edward couldn't leave him like that.

It was time for Edward to reciprocate.

To suck his first cock.

And officially be bi.

Fuck.

Or rather; suck.

* * *

><p><em>Weeee! Jasper has quite a talented mouth, and Edward didn't freak at having a man blow him! <em>

_The second part should be up in a couple hours, this afternoon..._


	20. Chapter 17,2 : Fogged up Showers

_Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, but I call dibs on Titlight!_

_Well, here's the other side of that coin! Although I can't decide if it's heads or tails. There is definitely giving head in both... And also some pretty massive tails..._

_Anyway, enough silliness. _

_Same warning; rated** M** for **Slash** and **Sexual content**. And beta'd by the faithful** Laverett**! _

_Enjoy!_

* * *

><p><em>[HCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHC]<em>

Jasper watched the play of emotions on Edward's face as the man sat on his stomach.

Annoyed amusement.

Still a hint of slackness, of relaxed happiness.

His face was suddenly much closer as Edward lurched forward onto his arms.

Wide-eyed shock.

Dear Lord; that felt _good_.

Jasper hadn't really thought before unbalancing the man. He made himself sink back down to the bed immediately; despite the sudden flare of desire, despite the overpowering urge to grab Edward's hips and grind shamelessly.

Fuuuccckkk.

Jasper had almost managed to forget his own need; he'd been so caught up in Edward's release... The brief contact on his cock ignited a raging fire.

Concentrating desperately on Edward's expressions, Jasper clutched at control.

After that split-second of frozen shock, Edward's face showed panic.

Indecision.

Lust.

Some softer emotion- tenderness?

Then his expression firmed. Determination .

He was going to blow Jasper.

Jasper saw it, knew the instant his features hardened in apprehension, excitement, and resolve.

Edward's first blow job.

A brief flash of his own first time subdued Jasper's excitement.

He would forever cringe as he remembered the unsavory experience.

Feeling sick and out of sorts from withdrawal, he'd been pushed onto the smelly dick of some third-rate gay porno actor with a pudgy belly, who was positively drooling at the first chance with a fresh twink. The sickly sweet smell of the baby powder the man used to diminish chafing under his flap of abdominal fat had engrained itself into Jasper's nostrils, not really masking the body odor.

Already nauseous and jittery without a fix, he'd gagged the first few tries and the man had unceremonious grabbed his neck and face-fucked him till he exploded on his face, mostly up Jasper's nose. Some of his slimy cum had landed in Jasper's mouth, and he'd barely made it to the garbage can, retching in disgusted misery.

There had been many blowjobs after that.

Most were better, a few just as bad or worse.

But there was something about a first time that stayed with you.

Forever.

No matter how many incredible seconds and thirds and fortieths you had, the first stayed with you.

The first time you won a medal in a sporting event.

The first time you drove a car.

The first time you got drunk.

The first time you had sex.

The first time you had same-sex sex.

There was a special drawer in your brain, reserved only for firsts.

And Jasper wanted to make sure Edward's first blowjob was the best it could be. Because you didn't get a second first.

So he cupped Edward's cheek and said softly ''Edward. I need a minute.''

Edward protested immediately. ''No! I'm going to…''

''Sssshhh. I know. And it'll be amazing. I'll be in the shower. Come join me…''

And Jasper obstinately pushed Edward sideways until he could wiggle out from under him.

_[HCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHC]_

Rapidly using the toilet and rigorously brushing his teeth, Jasper stood under the spray, letting the pelting drops drain some of the tension away from his shoulders.

Minutes later, Edward slipped into the glass enclosure. He stared at the floor, unsure.

Jasper smiled at him. ''So, did you enjoy that?''

Edward's head snapped up, and he scoffed. ''Well, of course I did. It was pretty obvious I think… You know, the fountains of cum and all…''

Grinning, Jasper stepped to the side, allowing Edward to stand under the water.

He watched the sparkling drops running in rivers down Edward's muscular body.

Jasper followed one droplet's path; beginning at a raised elbow, down to the dip of an armpit, where it joined a bigger stream. Snaking down Edward's torso in a curvy track, the water rushed to that exciting V under his belly button. There it played hide and seek with a few soft hairs, before a final plunge down Edward's smooth-shaved pelvic mound. Then it giddily twisted over his softly down-curved cock, before jetting to the tiled floor.

Fuck.

Without hesitation, Jasper carefully traced that same pattern with his tongue. When he began placing light kisses in row down Edward's belly, he was suddenly stopped by hands under his arms.

''Jasper!''

This was important.

Edward was having a hard time focusing.

''Jasper, it's my turn!''

Pulling him up to a standing position, Edward decided that since Jasper's actions had felt so good, he would do the same to him.

Biting and kissing at Jasper's bulging biceps, he ran his tongue down. He elicited a giggly jump at the tickling when he reached the armpit, then a low groan as he dragged across Jasper's chest.

He experimentally sucked on Jasper's flat boy-nipple.

It was like a girl's, yet not. It lacked the softness of a woman's breast; there was no easy way to latch on. Yet it tightened in the same way when he discovered how to use his teeth to scrape more than suck. Jasper's belly quivered in the same way a girl's would, a soft sound catching in his throat.

Moving to the other side, Edward reveled in the feeling of Jasper's piercing in his mouth. He used his lips and tongue to tug on it, enjoying the smooth resistance of metal that rebounded on his teeth. Jasper reacted strongly to this, grabbing at Edward's neck and stepping back hastily to lean his ass against the wall.

''Fuck!'' The breathy exclamation sounded like a plea.

Edward dropped to his knees on the hard tile. He spluttered against a face-full of water, until Jasper shifted and blocked the spray.

Holding Jasper's cock by the base, Edward screwed his eyes tight and tentatively licked at the head. It didn't taste like much, slick with water. Opening his eyes, Edward traced a path all the way from base to tip.

Jasper heaved a shivery breath, stare burning into Edward.

Like the hand-job yesterday, it was the reactions that Edward loved. He wanted Jasper to twist and jerk and groan in pleasure. Because of him. Too bad this was happening in the shower and Jasper's features were slightly blurred without his glasses… Edward didn't want to miss a single detail of the experience.

Slowly, Edward wrapped his lips around Jasper's cockhead and sank down.

He'd craved effect; he got results.

Jasper jolted with a strangled grunt, his shoulders twisting in an involuntary rotating play of muscle.

Edward grinned up at him around the length in his mouth, and Jasper responded with a brilliant smile.

It was okay, Edward could do this.

It wasn't weird.

He liked it.

He liked_ Jasper_.

Edward explored enthusiastically then. He tried to sink as far as Jasper, discovering it wasn't at all as natural as the man had made it seem. Suddenly, Edward had more respect for all the women who had given him oral.

He experimented, trying to coordinate hand movements with tongue and swallows.

He slithered and nipped, sucking more or less.

He pumped with a fist, enthusiastically.

A reckless plunge elicited a gritty ''Ttt-teeth!'' warning.

Jasper watched Edward attack his cock with energy. He smiled, letting him play around; apparently, Edward wanted to test everything anyone had ever done to him. Which was a lot, since he _was_ a porn star….

It was nice, and Jasper jerked at some of the sensations, but it wasn't focused enough for him to get off.

In fact, it was pretty damn frustrating; as soon as something felt amazing, Edward switched to a different tactic. It had Jasper on pins and needles, and his long-denied orgasm churned at the teasing.

Fuck, he needed to blow.

Finally, unable to take it any longer, Jasper carefully pushed Edward off from where he was trying to suck both balls into his mouth at once.

When the kneeling man looked up, Jasper found himself at a loss for words.

''Edward… please… I…'' Jasper trailed off helplessly.

His dick flexed violently, inches from Edward's nose. It was a clearer message than a thousand words.

Edward recognized the intensity on Jasper's features. The tension, the cloudy desire.

He quit playing around.

Jasper would cum.

He _needed_ to cum.

It was Edward's responsibility to get him there.

He settled for trying to imitate Jasper's steady stroking from earlier. Edward moved his mouth in regular plunges over about half of Jasper's length, using a tight grip to pump the rest.

Jasper groaned then, his shoulders twisting again.

''Edward…Edward…''

Concentrating, Edward persevered; this was easy!

He would get a cocksucker of the year award! _Headward, King of Head!_

Then Jasper lost his self-control and thrust involuntarily with his hips. Edward gagged and Jasper breathed a desperate _sorry,_ but a few strokes later, as soon as Jasper gave himself over to the sensations and his head fell back, his hips jerked again.

''Fuck, Edward, I'm sorry, I can't…''

Jasper's frustration was written all over his stormy features.

Edward didn't like seeing the conflicted emotions that warred, didn't like Jasper trying to hold back and not abandoning himself to the pleasure.

Inspired, Edward drew his head back with a pop, and concentrated on firmly stroking Jasper's cock with his hand. He moved fast and strong, twisting when he reached the shiny head.

It was perfect.

Exactly what Jasper needed.

Bracing himself against the cool wall, Jasper finally allowed himself to slip and slide where the pleasure took him.

Edward's grip was relentless, his movements almost bruising.

It was perfect.

Exactly what Jasper needed.

Clutching at Edward's shoulder, Jasper panted, a helpless Ah! Ah! Ah! at the coiling of energy in his belly.

''Edward, I'm gonna…''

His lips parted and his whole body locked down for a tense second, before Jasper exploded in a powerful ripping release.

Jasper forgot to breathe for a second.

In fact, he thought his heart might have forgotten to beat.

He forgot himself, forgot everything but the roaring red-hot pleasure pulses.

It was perfect.

Exactly what Jasper needed.

Grinning dazedly, Jasper firmed his sagging knees.

Fuck.

This was ridiculous.

It was _porn movie_ good. Because it was only in XXX flicks that you had the best orgasm ever.

Every.

Single.

Time.

After the whole Victoria experiment yesterday- was it really only yesterday- Jasper had cum so hard he'd nearly blacked out. He'd been sure that he was all out-orgasmed for a while.

And now…

Well, as soon as his head stopped swimming, Jasper would offer a prayer of thanks to the Sex-Gods at the Temple of Mattress for being a porn star.

It was his role to have the orgasm of a life-time.

Every.

Single.

Time.

With Edward...

It was perfect.

Just what Jasper needed.

If he felt like this after a _blowjob_, he would certainly die when they actually fucked…He would die a happy man indeed!

Chest heaving, Jasper let his head loll against the tiles.

Grinning, Edward poked a finger into the side of his ass. Hard. And wiggled it, until Jasper grunted in annoyance and tried to twist away. It was revenge time…

''So,'' Edward's eyes twinkled, ''how do you like that?''

Still too relaxed to bother with words, Jasper shifted his hips in response, and answered Edward with the full force of the water in his face…

_[HCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHC]_

Edward and Jasper had a splendid time in the shower.

The palm-sized paper-wrapped soaps elicited dropped soap innuendos and some shoving around. So did the intensely floral aroma of the shampoo in miniature bottles because of which they ended up smelling dubiously like old ladies.

Showers were a great place for slippery rubbing, inappropriate groping and intense kissing.

When they finally tumbled out, the glass was completely fogged up and it was the best start to a day Edward had experienced in a long time. He couldn't seem to stop the silly grin that spread, threatening to hurt his cheeks.

There was a tinny musical beat playing when they reached the bedroom, and Jasper fished through his discarded pant's pockets to find his cell phone, retrieving it just as the sound abruptly stopped.

He stood, staring at it and swiping his thumb to check the caller when Edward's cell started shrieking for attention, attempting to vibrate itself off the nightstand.

''Hello?'' Edward answered, as Jasper mouthed A-L-I-C-E.

It was indeed Alice, wanting to know if he was up. When could he get to the studio, she had this meeting she needed him for, wasn't the party last night fabulous?

''Um, yeah, sure. I just have to… I can be there in… two hours?'' Edward cringed as the words came out, hesitant.

Fuck, his apartment was twenty, maximum thirty minutes away from the studio. Alice was sure to ask why he needed so long, it was very unlike him to be anything but perfectly punctual.

Alice didn't seem fazed, going on about the party, and the movie and Jasper and Victoria and Bella. She even managed to include the fucking tree.

Jasper, meanwhile, had finished getting dressed and was staring out the window.

Suddenly, Edward had enough of Alice's chatter. She was ruining his Jasper-bliss bubble. ''Listen, I gotta go. I'll see you around noon, alright?''

''Yes… and Edward… tell Jasper I said hi!''

''Yeah sure… uh… what?'' Edward blushed realizing he'd put his foot in it, distracted by Jasper shaking the water from his darkened curls.

The ones on his head.

Yeesh.

Alice laughed.

''Listen, Edward. I know you didn't go home last night, because when we left there were about ten people from the party waiting around for cabs, and you weren't there. And I know Jasper had a room. So…''

Edward scrambled for elusive words, couldn't find a proper answer.

Alice continued ''I hope you had a nice time.''

''I… yes… we did.'' Crap, he shouldn't have said that. Now she would think they had… But they hadn't. Not really. But they had started to, sorta…

Before he could cause further damage, Edward ended the conversation. ''Yeah, uh, Bye Alice!''

When Edward hung up, he knew his entire face was red.

''Jasper… Alice knows.''

Edward spoke quietly, to Jasper's scarred back.

_[HCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHC]_

* * *

><p><em>So, I'm pretty proud of Edward! He's grown tremendously! There is a change in the dynamic between these boys coming up... Jasper has some growing to do too... <em>

_Review if you've ever given a blow job in a hotel shower! Or even better if you've received one! OMG, are there any real MEN reading this? Didn't think so... lol_

_xxx_

_FrenchCaresse_


	21. Chapter 18: Traumatizing Taxi Drivers

_Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, but I call dibs on Titlight!_

_Tha increduboulus **Laverett** beta'd this, send her your love!_

_Hey guys! An early update, just because I could! _

_No **M** rating here, sorry, although a** S** warning for** silliness**, and maybe **short** interlude, is applicable... _

_Right, so Alice managed to work the truth about his bed partner from Edward... _

* * *

><p><em>[HCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHC]<em>

''Jasper… Alice knows.''

Edward spoke quietly.

Jasper shrugged, still facing outside.

''Alice always knows. She's really good like that, it's like she has a sixth sense, or something. Sometimes, she knows_ before_ you decide.''

''Oh.'' Edward scrubbed at his neck. ''Do you think it… bothers her?''

''What''?

Jasper spun around, but Edward still couldn't read his face, because he was backlit by the windows and his expression was hidden in shadow.

''No, of course not. Does it… bother you? That she knows? Because we didn't actually do much, but she doesn't know that…''

''I…'' Edward _was_ rather bothered, actually.

It was ridiculous. Where had Zen-Gay-Edward-Master-of-Blowjobs gone? The out and proud parade, leaving confused-insecure-Edward behind?

''Listen,'' Jasper continued. ''Alice can imagine what she likes. She's seen me in all states of vulnerability. Naked, physically and emotionally. She's not the type to judge. So no, I don't mind.''

Jasper _did_ mind that Edward seemed to have a problem with Alice knowing, but it was to be expected, right? Unless Edward minded that Alice might mind? In which case Jasper didn't even know if he minded because he was confused out of his mind…

It was nothing personal. Edward wasn't ashamed of him. Jasper firmly repeated the thought, before his insecurities could get a grip. Edward was simply new to being with a man; it was only normal for him to fear judgment.

Contrary to what most people thought, Jasper had learned that being out in public wasn't nearly as hard as facing the people you cared about. Although Jasper's experience was admittedly limited; he'd only had one actual boyfriend before, and it was a pretty messed up time in his life. Still…

From what he remembered, if a stranger frowned at you, you flipped him off. If a close friend looked at you in disgust… It pinched at your heart.

Edward was still standing, motionless. He pushed at his glasses with his nervous index finger. His mouth thinned, his eyes darted, his eyebrows moved; he was thinking stuff over.

Jasper let him be, stupidly making the bed.

He knew the maid service was going to change the sheets, but he couldn't just stand there… And he kinda didn't want the maid to judge for the mess, even if it was her job to…

It was like washing your hair before going to the hair dresser; ridiculous, but he did it anyway.

Finally, Edward snapped out of it.

''I'm cool,'' he answered Jasper's questioning look. ''I just… like to control things. And Alice finding out, and what she thinks about it and who she tells, well… I can't. But since I can't, I'm not going to let it control me, ya know?''

Jasper was starting to get a bit confused, so he suggested the thing all men needed when complex emotional issues arose.

''…Food? There's a breakfast buffet included with the room…''

It was the perfect solution.

Seated in a cheery room filled with crying toddlers, a bus-load of seniors and a flock of German tourists talking animatedly, they couldn't have had a meaningful conversation if they had wanted to.

Which they didn't, they were too busy attacking the lukewarm scrambled or _had been scrambled and were now coagulated into a pan-shaped mass_- eggs, toast, various other accompaniments and coffee.

It was decided that they would get a taxi back, rapidly stop by Jasper's place because he'd had enough of the _motherfuckingleatherpants _and then head on to the studio to meet up with Alice.

Unlike the cab ride the day before, that morning the time passed quickly.

Jasper and Edward chatted easily, discovering those all important details about the other; who liked which team, which foreign countries they had explored, which dream car they wanted to own, did they have any siblings, what type of music they preferred, and was golf really a sport?

It was almost a surprise when the car stopped abruptly in front of Jasper's building.

As much as Edward might have liked to go up, and quite honestly he wasn't even sure he did, the driver positively refused to wait if they both got out. Apparently, he'd been stood up or had wasted too much time idling, waiting for young couples to finish boinking, as he put it.

So unless one of them remained in the cab, he wasn't waiting.

''Fine.'' Jasper grumbled. ''Edward, do you want me to bring you some clothes then? Underwear or something?''

''That would be nice,'' Edward answered slowly. ''But not underwear.''

Leaning forward, he brushed his lips to Jasper's ear as he whispered ''I'm not wearing any…'' Edward sent a threatening look to the cabbie who was pretending not to watch them in the mirror and didn't seem at all impressed.

Jasper stiffened, and his eyes were lusty as he huskily asked ''Really?''

Edward nodded, feeling his own cheeks heat.

''After yesterday… and then I was feeling all clean after the shower this morning… I couldn't just…'' He grimaced, reached a hand into his coat pocket and pulled just a bit of the fabric out where Jasper could see it.

Jasper blinked in slow motion, his face ferocious, then abruptly pushed himself up and out of the cab, taking the front steps two, or maybe three at a time.

Uncomfortable and getting hard again, Edward slumped in the seat, staring at the brick while he waited for Jasper to return.

''So, how long have you been… boinking?'' The driver asked, staring at Edward in his mirror.

''We aren't… _boinking_.'' Edward cringed at the ridiculous word. Somehow, that sounded even more dirty, more taboo than fucking.

''You so are boinking. You want to boink.''

Edward refused to acknowledge he was being spoken too. He was tempted to stick his fingers in his ears and sing LALALA as loud as he could.

''You wanted to boink. Right now. Right in my back seat.'' The driver was like a dog with a bone, chewing and chewing…

''None of that, now. Keep your boinkers in your pants.'' He continued pointedly.

_Boinkers?_ That was even less of a word! If you made a noun from a non-existent verb, it didn't legitimize it… At least Edward didn't think it did.

''We aren't _boinking_.'' Edward repeated sullenly, resting his head against the top of the seat. Why did he even use the non-word? The smell of air freshener must be getting to him; he could feel a headache starting to build.

He opened the window a crack.

''Oh. Secret boinking.'' The cabbie looked pleased with himself. ''You have girlfriend. And you boink him in secret. Very exciting.''

''No, no girlfriend.'' Edward was getting angry. ''And no boinking. Secret or otherwise. God! How many times do I have to tell you…''

Cabbie nodded, seeming pleased to be included in the boinking conspiration. His bald spot gleamed in the heat, a few wispy hairs around the edges fuzzily catching the light.

''Yes. Yes. Of course. No boinking.'' He winked exaggeratedly.

Edward sighed.

Fucking boinking.

Or not-fucking boinking in their case.

Jasper appeared then, bounding down the steps. His blond curls gleamed in the sunlight, lifting airily with his movements, streaming behind him as he jumped.

God, the guy looked like a shampoo commercial! How did he_ do_ that?

Edward's hair was straight and stubborn. It simply refused to be styled most of the time, and Edward had long since abandoned the war. He pretty much let it do as it pleased, only attempting to tame it with the help of Angela and her $80 gel.

''Okay, all set! Let's go!'' Jasper leaned forward, giving the studio's address to the man and accidentally-on-purpose dragging a hand down Edward's thigh as he did.

It did NOT make Edward want to boink.

Or be boinked.

Jasper's eyebrows lifted in confused amusement at the muttered ''are too boinking'' the driver emitted, but he didn't comment, instead closing the car door with a thud.

_[HCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHC]_

Soon they were spilling out into the studio entrance. Jasper lit a cigarette as Edward paid the driver.

The man's black eyes shone as he nodded. A picture of serene wisdom. Like Buddha. If Buddha drove a taxi. And had a mustache.

''Ah. Paid boinking. I see…'' Apparently, everyone in town recognized the address… First PizzaMan, now TaxiDriver.

''The American dream… I have to tell my wife, she like movies. Boinking movies. Hot hot. Pretty boinkers. Like you. Makes more kids. Seven kids, I have.'' He gushed in a garlic-scented confidence.

Edward clenched his teeth into what he hoped was a smile, sweating.

He did NOT want the image of the man and his wife… boinking to his boinking.

Jasper looked at him, amused, as the car sped off. ''You okay? You look… about to puke. ''

Edward pressed his lips together, snatching Jasper's smoke and taking a deep drag to calm himself. They smoked in cozy silence, except for a bird chirping somewhere nearby.

As they started to enter the building, Edward had a sudden impulse to stop and wait. His steps faltered, before he pressed forward.

''What?'' He asked defensively.

''Alice knows.'' Jasper said quietly. ''If we arrive together or five minutes apart… doesn't make much difference. Unless it makes you feel better? I can wait a bit, and follow you in?''

''No.'' Edward shook his head. Alice knew. And who cared if others knew too?

So, Zen-Gay-Edward was back it seemed!

He lengthened his stride, determinedly pushing the glass door open.

Alice didn't so much as comment on their arrival, together or not.

In fact, she wasn't even in her office, although the door was ajar.

Settling into the chairs facing the desk, the two men barely had to wait before she appeared, handing each of them a coffee in a Styrofoam cup.

Jasper sighed in pleasure, taking a cautious sip.

''So, you boys had a nice night?''

Alice twirled a bit, diminished by the stark black of her office chair.

''Yes, we did.'' Edward answered into his coffee. Jasper simply shrugged beside him. Deciding she wasn't getting more info, boys could be so boring, Alice got down to business.

''Right, well, I wanted to tell you my new ideas for the script. Jasper, put your coffee down.'' she told him firmly.

Jasper sighed, motioning for Edward to do the same.

''It's not good then,'' he said, resigned . ''When Alice told me she wanted me to play with Victoria, I spilled my coffee and nearly burned my dick. Guess it was fate or something!'' he laughed wryly. ''A warm-up for what was to cum… ''

Jasper obediently placed the white cup on the desk, and after a beat Edward did too.

He had no inclination to burn his dick, whether with coffee OR wax. Some things, you just didn't do.

Alice waited until they both fixed their attention on her, before continuing. ''I have this idea; it makes the scenario rock-solid. And it will make the movie appeal to a larger public. It's so amazing… I'm so amazing... ''

''I want YOU to fuck HIM.''

Fuck.

Edward had surely misunderstood.

Jasper sat up abruptly. ''What?'' He asked, incredulous.

''I want him to be fucked by you.'' Alice pointed to each man in turn.

Well, fuck.

Edward hadn't misunderstood.

He couldn't believe Alice thought they would do that. And on film.

Fuck fuck fuck.

She wanted them to boink.

Edward was going bonkers.

Or was it boinkers?

* * *

><p><em>Boinking is NOT an actual word. Although it can be found in the UrbanDictionary online.<em>

_Now, who do you thinks Alice envisions as the boinker and the boinkee?_

_*I'm so evil...*_

_See you next week!_


	22. Chapter 19: Alice's Idea

_Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, but I call dibs on Titlight!_

_The most fabulous **Laverett** totally blew my mind with a super-speedy Beta and some priceless feedback._

_I think this is one of my favorite chapters so far. Hang on to your keyboards, this one's got it all: some emotional drama, some silliness, a pinch of UST, sex toys and a closet. Unfortunately no** M** warning though._

_All right, shutting up now. Did you guess correctly? Who does Alice want to do who?_

* * *

><p><em>[HCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHC]<em>

''NO.''

Jasper's answer resounded, final.

It solved the dilemma, because Edward still hadn't had time to process the request, and he didn't know what his own answer was.

Did he WANT Jasper to fuck him on film?

''Jasper…'' Alice whined. ''I thought YOU would be the one to back me on this… It's not like it's a big deal for you. You've done it before.''

Jasper sighed.

Edward wisely remained silent, all thought functions still jammed.

Alice wanted Jasper to fuck him.

On film.

Edward was pretty sure he wanted Jasper to fuck him too.

Not on film.

And Jasper didn't want to fuck him.

At least, not on film.

Unless he didn't want to fuck him at all?

Edward would have gladly switched up the roles, fucker and fuckee, but he had gotten a definite Topping vibe from Jasper.

Jasper slowly elaborated, reaching for his coffee.

''Listen, Al. I USED to do it. It's not… me… anymore. I have, I don't know… bad associations… with it? I don't want any current fans linking me to my other stuff. It was really shitty. Bad lighting, no story, bad actors-including me… Mostly, I was too out of it to even remember correctly. I'd prefer to keep my present separate from my past.''

''Jasper,'' Alice's voice softened. ''I understand. Really, I do. But it's part of who you are, regardless.''

'' Besides,'' she finished glibly; ''you didn't even have the same name!''

Wait, what ?

Edward was still trying to sort out Alice's request, but he perked at the comment.

''You didn't have the same name?'' He asked Jasper, confused. ''But…''

''No.'' Jasper emphasized it with a shake of his head. ''I had a different screen persona back then.''

''Well.'' Edward informed him. ''People have already made the link then. Because I typed _Jizzper Whitlock_ and I ended up on your… old stuff. I don't think it said any other name.''

But it might have, Edward thought silently. He'd been pretty perturbed after that, and he wasn't really reading the captions…

Alice's eyes were sparkling, even if she fought to keep her mouth straight.

Jasper sat up straighter, glaring at her. ''Alice… No! Don't. Start.''

''What?'' She asked, innocently. Her eyes twinkled even more with contained humor, and her lips twitched up.

''ALICE.'' Jasper's warning was close to a snarl.

''What?'' Edward asked, feeling lost. ''What is it?''

''Edward…''

''Alice, DON'T!'' Jasper interrupted.

She continued anyway.

''Don't you want to know what Jasper used to be called?'' She asked sweetly. Too sweetly. This was going to be good…

''What… Oh, yes. I do!'' Edward watched Alice's smile takeover her whole mouth, then her whole face.

''My dear Alice,'' he played along solemnly, ''what was Jasper's screen-name?''

''Jasper was… '' The small woman practically vibrated with suppressed excitement.

''ALICE! You are in so much trouble!'' Jasper sounded ANGRY.

Alice sure didn't seem to mind, steepling her fingers like a college professor lecturing.

''…called…''

''Noooooooo!'' Jasper slumped in his chair, flinging an arm over his face in defeat.

''… ASSPER !''

The silence that followed was deafening. How_ silence_ could be deafening, Edward didn't know. But it was. Silence rang in his ears, the echo of the name amplifying, bouncing around between them.

_Assper- assper- sspperr- spperr- errrrr ….._

Apparently, Jasper found the lack of immediate reaction reassuring, because he peeked at Edward through his fingers.

_…Sspperrr… ASSPER!_

Edward's mind finally processed the distorted memory of sound.

_Assper._ Jasper had been called Assper when he pounded guys' asses.

The corner of Edward's mouth quirked as a tide of hilarity rose.

Valiantly, he bit his lip, trying to squash the laughter.

Assper.

Assper was now glaring at him instead of Alice. There was a certain resignation in the droop of his shoulders too.

Assper. Ha.

Edward made the mistake of looking at Alice. As soon as his eyes met dancing black ones, there was no more containing it.

''BWWWAAAAHHHHHAHAAAAHHAAAA ! ASSPER !''

They laughed and laughed and laughed.

At poor, poor Assper.

Edward couldn't remember the last time he had actually _hooted_ with glee. It was hysterical, uncontrolled and shared by Alice. He fought for breath between guffaws, managing brief incoherent words of explanation at Jasper.

''You… Assper… and you… asses! Ha! ...called… can't believe… Assper!''

Although he tried to stay testy and sullen, Jasper couldn't help smiling a little to see them both so happy.

Even if they were laughing at him.

Or at Assper, anyway.

His best friend, and one who was quickly becoming just as close. Somehow, that made it all right.

They finally calmed.

Edward's ribs ached, and his abs complained at the workout. He thought he might have pulled a cheek muscle.

Unless that was from the blow job earlier.

Oh shit, the blow job. The thought brought all the rest crashing back.

''So, Alice, you want me to be ass-fucked.''

''By Assper.'' Edward couldn't help adding the name.

A final bubble of amusement burst.

Alice nodded, growing serious.

''Yes. It's the perfect revenge for Jackson. Return to his home as a vampire and fuck, then drain, his wife's lover. It's exactly what an angry husband would do.''

Edward nodded slowly. It _did_ kinda make sense.

Alice continued. ''And women like guys getting it on. Seriously, it's twice a good thing! And maybe we'll appeal to a larger bi-male audience too! It's perfect.''

''No.'' Jasper still sounded just as sure.

''Jasper… ''Alice was resorting to puppy-dog eyes.

''I said no, Alice.'' Jasper seemed unaffected by the pleading. Edward would have to ask him how he did it.

''It's not fair for Edward. I am NOT taking his virginity on camera. Without proper preparation. You want us to do this, when? You're leaving for that thing for your Mom in what, two days? Edward doesn't want that.''

Jasper's words finally stirred something in Edward.

Anger.

How could Jasper think to decide for him? Who did Jasper think he was, to decide what Edward wanted or didn't want?

Granted, Edward wasn't quite sure himself. Still, Jasper had no business blaming his refusal on Edward. Not without asking his opinion first.

''Jasper,'' Edward began. ''You don't know what I want. If YOU don't want to do it, that's fine. But don't say it's because of me. I can think for myself!''

''Edward, you don't know. You don't want this. And it will follow you, always. Your parents will find out. Your friends will leave you. It'll hurt.'' Jasper's tone was patronizing and it made Edward see red. ''I won't be responsible for that.''

Edward took a deep breath.

Then another.

He WOULDN'T start screaming at Jasper.

Not again.

He meant well.

Fuck, Edward didn't dare open his mouth yet. He could feel the angry insults piling up, clogging his throat.

Jasper stared at him, hot hot eyes searing a trail over Edward. Jasper could see Edward's jaw work, heard the forced breaths he was taking. He recognized the look on Edward's face from before.

Edward was MAD.

His nostrils flared and he chewed on his lips. When he spoke, Edward's voice was slow and measured.

''Jasper.'' He enunciated carefully. ''I'm not a baby. If I decide to do something, it's my choice. And I will deal with the consequences. I am not a teenager, Jasper. I'm a porn star. I'm a man.''

Edward's voice shook a bit as he continued, suppressed emotion trying to force through.

''Christ, the whole point of me doing these movies was to stop having my parents deciding my life for me. I won't let _you_ start to do that. I've had enough of it. I can make my own choices. Even if they are the wrong ones. Even if I regret them later. It's MY decision too. YOU are the one judging now.''

Jasper stared at his knees, chastised. He didn't answer though. _Edward didn't know, _he thought.

Edward recognized the stubbornness on the blond man's face.

''JASPER! Stop thinking you're better than me.'' His words were getting more heated. ''If YOU don't want to do this, cool. But stop thinking you can decide for me!''

Edward could tell from the expression on Jasper's face that he wasn't getting through. Jasper's featured were still locked in that superior look, Edward's words hitting some inner wall and rebounding uselessly.

''FUCK!'' Edward shouted it loud enough that Jasper jumped and snapped his eyes to Edward's. ''You're not listening. FUCK YOU!''

And Edward got up, abruptly.

His chair wobbled with the force of it. He exited the room, long strides dissipating some of the frustration he felt.

Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck.

Fuckin' Assper.

_[HCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHC]_

Jasper spent a good minute after Edward left staring at the floor near the door. The tiles there were yellowed. One of them was missing a chip. There was a dust ball in the corner.

And Edward was gone because he was too angry at Jasper to bear being in the same room as him.

Jasper had forgotten about Alice, until she spoke.

''Well, it's nice that things are moving along well for you two!''

Jasper swung around to stare skeptically, and just as he opened his mouth to unleash the venom, she interrupted, hands held up in a pacifying gesture.

''No! NO! Jasper, I'm serious.''

''What part of Edward walking out didn't you get?'' Jasper scalded.

''Exactly! He was completely right.'' Alice sounded excited, bouncing in her seat.

''Jasper, you were absolutely NOT listening to him, you were thinking you knew better and that's that. So he didn't stay and try to argue. He did the best thing he could, the only one that would work. He left, and you HAD to snap out of it. So you see? He's really got the hang of you. That's a good thing!''

''Oh, you mean, like when he walked away from you screaming like a banshee?''

Jasper asked Alice pointedly, but he couldn't help considering her words.

She humphed, ''Yes, well, there's that…''

She was right though. He really _hadn't_ listened to Edward. And he'd noticed. So he'd walked out…

Fuck.

_[HCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHC]_

Meanwhile, Edward was angrily puffing on a cigarette.

Stupid birds still chirped.

What the fuck was their deal? This wasn't a Disney movie; didn't they have windows to smash into or something?

And what the fuck was Jasper's deal, thinking he could decide for Edward. Sure, he'd been through shit. That still didn't make him omniscient. And it certainly didn't give him the right to decide in Edward's place.

As smoke curled lazily in front of his eyes, Edward blinked, suddenly realizing something. At that moment, the birdsong stopped, silence somehow magnifying Edward's light-bulb moment.

Stupid birds.

Had he really just gotten mad at Jasper because he'd refused to fuck his ass?

One of the noisy annoyances squawked loudly in agreement.

Stupid birds.

How was it even possible that Edward and Jasper had gotten into a fight because Jasper wouldn't fuck Edward?

Edward wasn't even sure he wanted to be defiled like that. If someone had told him two weeks ago he was going to get angry at a man for refusing to stick his prick up his ass…

The warbling started up again, enthusiastic.

Stupid birds.

Edward still wasn't sure what he wanted, but the whole fight was just… impossible.

The stupid bird's chirping sounded sweeter somehow. Positive and refreshing.

They were still stupid birds though.

Stupid birds.

Just like that, Edward's anger was gone, evaporated by the ridiculousness of the reason for the whole argument.

Finishing his smoke in a spaced out state, he butted out the cigarette briskly, determined to talk things through with Jasper.

He might have sent a small good-bye wave to his unseen feathered supporters.

Stupid birds.

_[HCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHC]_

When Edward walked back into Alice's office, she was nowhere to be seen. Jasper was leaning back in his chair, staring at the ceiling.

God the man had long legs.

Which Edward shouldn't notice at a time like this.

''Edward.'' Jasper spoke solemnly, without turning around.

''Jasper.'' Edward responded, with a half-grin.

Swinging himself back into a seated position, Jasper suddenly blurted ''Listen, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to act like I was better than you. I just… it's not easy for me, this whole being bi thing. It brings back bad memories. Half the time, I think it was only because I was so frosted that I enjoyed it. I don't… It's complicated.''

Edward listened quietly. It was nice that Jasper was making the effort to explain. Even if Edward already knew all this.

''It's fine.'' Edward answered, suddenly tired. ''I just… all my life, I've had people try to direct me, tell me what to do, plan my whole goddamn life for me. I'm _so_ sick of it. I can think for myself. For me, this whole homosexual thing is new. But it's… pure. It's not associated with drugs and bad people. And at first I resisted…I don't like change.''

Edward shrugged, and then started again. ''Now that I've wrapped my head around the concept, I'm committed. I want to try it. I want to try it all, in time. And I know you don't bottom. It scared the shit out of me at first, because it means I have to… but I'm cool now; I've accepted it. _I think._''

He lapsed into silence, not at all staring at Jasper's mile-long limbs.

Finally, Edward chuckled drily and admitted. ''I can't believe we had a fight because you don't want to fuck me… And that I got mad because of it! ''

Jasper suddenly stood, and moved toward Edward.

Edward hesitated, and then stepped back. Jasper's face was passionate, burning with… something. Edward wondered if Jasper would punch him.

Jasper approached, getting in Edward's face.

Edward gulped and stepped back more, until his ass hit the hard wall.

Jasper marched with him, until he filled a trapped Edward's personal space.

Edward kept his eyes down and focused on trying to breathe, chest rising and falling rapidly. Flashes of their kisses and the blowjobs sure didn't help his rising lust.

''You. Have. No. Idea.''

Jasper's words seethed through clenched teeth. ''I want to fuck you. It's been driving me crazy. I don't even know how we managed to sleep together in the same bed. Twice. And not fuck.''

His thumb traced along Edward's flushed cheekbone. Hard. Possessive.

''I want to, Edward. Don't doubt that. I want to fuck you, baby. It's killing me.'' Jasper promised roughly. ''I will. I just want to do it right.''

He pressed closer, wrapped around Edward in a hug.

It was nice. Jasper smelled pleasant, even if the hotel shampoo was a bit feminine.

Jasper was warm and strong. His jaw fit so well, right in the crook where Edward's shoulder met his neck. Like puzzle pieces. Fuck, Jasper's heart raced; Edward could feel it through his t-shirt. His own pulse sped, trying to match Jasper's.

Their legs alternated, their centers so close to touching. The nearness made it impossible to breathe, to think.

If Jasper angled his hips a bit… He didn't, arms crushing Edward's chest to him in an almost desperate way. Fuck, if _Edward_ angled his hips a bit… He bit his lip and moaned at the intense urge, but didn't.

Edward clung to Jasper, determined to enjoy the comfort of the hug for itself, and not for the promise of…. _More_. It became increasingly difficult, as _More_ grew and grew, singing in his veins, filling the very air between them with charged tension.

''Jazz…'' The sound tore from him, a plea, mindless and needy.

Jasper groaned into Edward's neck, placing a strong sucking kiss there before pulling away.

''Right.'' he croaked. Jasper cleared his throat, fingers travelling through his hair.

He moved around the desk, throwing his words carelessly over his shoulder. Edward really shouldn't have looked up, because the straining bulge in Jasper's pants only made his own ache worse.

''Now that's clear, we need stuff from Alice's closet. I want to do this right. I want you to enjoy it. And I don't think that angry movie sex is good for a first time. We need… accessories. And time. You need to ease into this. Have you even ever had a finger up your ass?''

Edward turned bright red, staring at the floor. Suddenly, HE wasn't so sure.

''I… um… yes… Lusty Lauren, she likes to do that when she gives a blowjob. And I've done a couple scenes with her.''

Jasper's smile was soft and understanding.

''Good. You just need to accept how much pleasure it can give you. And overcome those mental barriers. Which is why we need the closet.''

Jasper turned to the wall, pulling open said closet door. His body blocked Edward's view of what was inside.

He rummaged, moving stuff around.

''What?'' Edward demanded, still trying to sort his lust-fuzzed thoughts out and wishing his dick would shrink back to a manageable semi.

Jasper's voice was muffled as he stuck his head deeper into the closet.

''Alice gets all this stuff from erotic toy companies. They give her their products hoping she'll feature them in her movies. I'm sure she has something in here you can use…''

He emerged with something held with two hands that he dropped onto the desk.

It landed with a heavy thump and remained upright.

It was a huge column, with a _tongue_ on top. It was purple jelly. It wobbled jiggily, mocking Edward because it was bigger than his forearm.

Edward's eyes popped and he gulped. Dear Lord, surely Jasper didn't want him to stick THAT monstrosity anywhere near any orifice on his body?

He quickly turned to find the other man watching him, shaking with silent laughter.

''God, the look on your face…'' Jasper gasped, muscular shoulders still moving with laughter as he turned back to the closet.

A weak ''_Fuck you!_'' was the only response Edward could think of, still afraid to look at the _thing_ that swayed in his peripheral vision on the desk.

''No.'' Jasper's voice was distant and somehow small, coming from the depths of the closet. ''Fuck YOU! But I want you prepped first.''

Jasper's ass wiggled a bit as he bent further to check out a lower shelf. It made Edward lick his lips. He wondered if he would ever get to fuck Jasper.

''Actually, I'd like to keep all options open, please.''

Alice's quiet voice seemed to echo his thoughts, coming from the doorway, and both men jumped, startled.

Jasper's head bumped into a shelf in the closet, rattling items.

It gave Edward a few seconds to answer.

''I don't know…'' he began. ''Assper's in the closet.''

''I… what?'' Jasper's reaction was drowned out by Alice and Edward cracking up again.

_Assper_'s reaction…

Jizzper was bad enough, but Assper… And he_ was_ in the closest.

Edward finally caught his breath enough to explain. ''You used to be out. But it doesn't count, because in your mind, you did it because you didn't have a choice. So you're actually NOT okay with being gay. Or bi. Or whatever. You've convinced yourself you weren't a willing participant before. So you aren't really out, despite video evidence that says the opposite.''

Jasper stared over his shoulder, wide-eyed. Edward wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not, so he tried to lighten the mood.

''AND, you're in the closet. Alice's closet. Alice's sex-toy closet. Which actually sounds like a nice place to be… An interesting place.'' Edward eyed the violet foot-long jelly tongue on the desk warily. ''Educational at least.''

Alice chuckled softly, moving to stand beside Jasper.

The man was still frozen, trying to absorb Edward's words.

Fuck, could it be true?

He'd been so proud of finally being serene and over the past… Had he been pulling wool over his eyes?

Or more like; wood over his eyes.

Hard wood.

Edward's wood. But he didn't particularly want it in his eye.

In his mouth sounded great.

In his ass?

Jasper's stomach turned at the idea, and he knew he'd have to think his reasons through properly.

Alice rested a light hand on his back, squeezing softly in sympathy.

She smelled nice, fresh and subtly floral. She pushed her small frame into the door-space with Jasper.

''What were you looking for, by the way?'' she asked conversationally. ''In the closet. Ppffff... Assper!'' Her cheeks puffed against more laughter.

Jasper ignored her teasing, turning back to his quest.

''I was looking for anal plugs. A few of them, small to big. So Edward can get used to the feeling.''

Alice nodded, elbowing him out of the way, and stuck her arm into the closet. She pulled out a clear plastic box, opened the lid and handed a package to Jasper. Then another one, identical.

It was exactly what he'd wanted.

Three different-sized butt plugs, ranging from smallish to medium-large. One set was pink, the other a vibrant aqua.

''Here, Edward, pink or green?''

Edward sneered, and he didn't even have time to answer before Jasper tossed the turquoise one to him.

Edward wasn't a pink kind of butt plug guy.

In fact, Edward wasn't a pink anything kind of guy.

Or a butt plug kind of guy either.

''Oh, yummy!'' Alice was turning away from the shelves, this time with two bottles of lube. ''That means you get the pink!''

''I… what''? Jasper stared in disbelief.

Alice's voice was quietly firm as she continued. Director Alice was back.

''Like I said, I want all my options open. The final threesome… maybe we could switch things up a bit. I don't know yet. Anyway…'' her voice softened, this was friend-Alice advice. ''It won't hurt you to learn to accept the pleasure of having something in your ass. In the privacy of your home.''

Jasper sighed, annoyed. ''I SAID I won't fuck Edward in two days, on film. I meant it. And I certainly won't let _him_ do _me _in two days either.''

''Oh, I know.'' Alice sighed too, wistfully. ''I wish we had more time. But you're right. I'm leaving Wednesday, and I'll be back next Thursday. So we HAVE to film you and him on this Tuesday, and the threesome at the latest on the Friday of the other week. I'd like to get the tapes to editing and post-production the following week.''

Before Jasper could protest some more, Alice held a hand up.

''We're going to fake it on Tuesday. Keep it suggestive, but no real penetration. You guys had better prove to me there was a reason I picked you for this movie.'' she menaced. ''I want your acting to be convincing, or I'll have you retake it. For real. Even if it means delays.''

Faking it.

Faking being fucked.

Fuck.

Edward wondered how that would go. He wasn't really sure how he was supposed to be convincing faking something he'd never done.

He'd have to do some research on it- a lot of research.

After some more lazy chatting, to which Edward barely listened, the boys headed home, with a firm warning to be at the studio at ten on Tuesday.

With their game-face on.

Their fucking-face on.

Or his being-fucked face on in Edward's case.

Fuck.

Edward didn't even hear the stupid birds as he walked to his car, trying to process this new development.

They chirped in sympathy for him anyway.

Stupid birds.

_[HCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHC]_

Edward still felt dazed as he drove home. The anal plugs on the seat next to him seemed to mock him.

And they nearly caused him to die of humiliation.

As he exited the car, he realized he had no bag to hide the clear plastic that screamed **Butt Buddies Anal Training Set** in flashy red letters. It was a short dash to his apartment; he'd just hold it under his jacket…

And of course that meant he ran into the cute quiet guy from 509, tall and blond. It couldn't have been ugly old Mizz Thompson and her yappy fur-ball. No, he had to stand, sweating and trying to make sense of something about condo fees and broken lawnmowers in an elevator, praying the man didn't see what he hid. Edward couldn't tell if he'd noticed. The package was too big to hide all the way under the flap of his jacket, and it was too late to take the coat off and wrap it around… Shit.

Finally making it to the safety of his apartment, it was a very relieved and out-of-breath Edward who buried the offending item deep in his sock drawer.

It seemed like a good place.

Surely socks and butt plugs cohabited well together?

At least the package wasn't open, so he wouldn't get bits of fluff on the jelly. Edward shuddered at the thought of linty butt plugs.

And Edward's socks were all precisely folded and neatly aligned. He was sure the grey-ones-with-a-black-line were all perturbed at having been rudely piled on top of the black-ones-with-a-grey-line to make room for the anal plugs.

Well, the socks would just have to suck it up.

Sock it up. Ha!

Edward shook his head to stop the ridiculousness and decided another run was in order.

Yet again, he had _more _thinking to do.

Fake-fucking…

Fuck…

And not even half as scary as Jasper's promise of real fucking.

Assfucking.

By Assper.

Fuck.

Or not-fuck? Edward would have to find a new swear word, this was just confusing. Maybe he should go with the Cabbie and just use boink.

Fake-boinking.

Fuck!

Assboinking.

Double-Fuck.

There, that worked! No confusion at all!

It sounded weird though… Just… wrong…

To boink._ I boink, you boink, they boink…_

Assboinking.

By Boinksper. Assper. Master boinker.

Shit.

Confused again.

Lacing his sneakers, Edward headed out into a light drizzle. Time to stop the out-of-control thought spiral.

Thank God.

Edward focused on the stretch of his legs, the steady thud-thud of his shoes on pavement, until his mind was mercifully blank.

Time enough to face tomorrow… tomorrow.

* * *

><p><em>No stupid birds were harmed during the writing of this chapter.<em>

_And I should warn you that I'm already jumping up and down and giggling freakishly at the next two chapters... You guys are in for a ride! Especially in two weeks! _

_See you soon!_

_Oh, and the gigantic purple tongue-thing really exists, at least it did ten years ago when I was scarred for life after coming across it in a sex-shop... I cannot begin to describe how wrong it was... so so wrong... Give me a cat-o-nine-tails hardcore whip or a head-to-toe latex catsuit any day, but keep the monster jelly tongues away! _


	23. Chapter 20: Edward's Research

_Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, but I call dibs on Titlight!_

_Silly-Beta'd by the amazing **Laverett.**.. Without her, there would be no Headward. I added an extra Headward quirk moment, just for you!_

_A special thank-you mention to reviewer **True-Skye **for the word dick flick. It's awesome. And hilarious. Like guy-liner. I love it; it's the little things that make me wish English was my first language!_

_And a final thank-you to **Fr333bird** for the profile Beta! I'll never forget you set me on the road to all this! _

_And final- finally, a warning for** M** rating. (_Did I just here a roaring group cheer?)_ For **Mature Sexual Content**. Underage?Don't like it? How the heck did you get this far in a story about porn actors? _

* * *

><p><em>[HCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHC]<em>

Edward had never been so turned inside out and upside down in his life as he had been the last few weeks. He was constantly redefining his bearings. As soon as he thought himself settled, something changed again and he re-questioned everything.

He would have killer calves if this went on!

_[HCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHC]_

After a run, a shower, and supper, Edward found himself going round and round in circles in his living room, fretting.

In two days, he was going to be fake-fucked. And he needed to look convincing, or he'd be getting it up the ass for real.

There was no way out of it; Edward had to do some research.

He HAD to watch internet porn.

_Gay_ sex movies.

Dick flicks.

And it scared the hell out of him. He still hadn't opened his computer since the Jizzper incident.

Somehow, watching Jasper fucking guys had turned into angry confrontation that had exploded in his face and flipped around, and later led to kissing, then blowing him and _now_ being fake-fucked by him. Not to mention the whole dick-waxing episode, and the not-long-enough-to-be-a-threesome thing.

Edward just couldn't bring himself to watch gay porn again...

He decided he needed some extra courage and dug up a bottle of red wine. He kept it for special occasions; Edward didn't think he'd ever opened a bottle of wine by himself. His hands shook a bit as he uncorked it; he definitely needed it.

Setting the glass down resolutely on his living room table after sipping half of it, Edward finally sank into the couch and fired up his laptop.

The thing took an eternity to crank to life, and Edward's nerves knotted again. He downed the rest of his glass and had to get up to refill it before his browser loaded.

He began by checking a weeks worth of e-mail, which wasn't all that much. Edward rigorously avoided giving his e-mail address to anyone but close friends and was thankfully pretty spam-free.

He was tempted to check his other, Headward, e-mail, which was sure to be filled with a month or so of junk with the occasional fan-mail. But he was just being ridiculous and procrastinating and he knew it.

Faced with the empty search bar, Edward hesitated, fingers hovering over the keys.

Where did he start?

If gay porn was like straight porn, there were infinite variations and links to all sorts of kinks lurking on the web. He couldn't just type ''_gay porn'' _and see where that led. There was bound to be millions of sites, of all declinations possible, from soft to extreme. Edward was aware of this, and wanted to avoid traumatizing himself any more than was necessary, but he didn't know the territory enough to know what he liked yet.

If he liked it.

Okay, that was just turning a blind eye. Considering how aroused he'd been the last time; he liked it. At least his dick did.

Last time…

Perfect! That was the answer!

Or rather, the question.

Decided, Edward typed _''Assper Whitlock''_ and pressed the Enter key with a sharp click.

Ha! Assper. Edward's lips twitched again. Assssspppeerrr.

Surveying the results, Edward felt some of his nervousness dissolve. He'd seen some of it already.

Why was he holding his breath?

Shifting around, he stretched for his wine glass and clicked a link.

Soon, he'd selected play and watched as the logos and warnings zoomed across the screen while wiggling his ear-buds into place. Annoyed at the blinking monster dick that proclaimed a revolutionary new method to grow your cock 3 inches, he expanded the video to full screen and escaped the inevitable banners and advertisements.

As the clip unrolled, Edward's nervousness continued to evaporate.

It was just porn, if not-all-that-great porn.

Flesh was flesh and Edward had seen more of it than he cared to admit.

Onscreen was a younger Jasper and another blond youth. As they started kissing and grabbing each others crotch, Edward checked Jasper out critically.

He was thinner, gaunt almost. His hair was in a different cut, shorter and darker. Unless that was just bad lighting. He was wearing the eyeliner again, and his eyes were slightly unfocused.

He was a bit slow to respond as the other man tugged their t-shirts off and began licking down his body; Jasper looked blissfully dazed and worn out.

He was just lying there while his dick got sucked, too pale skin pulled tight over sharp bones. Jasper's glassy gaze seemed more fascinated by the way the other man's hair slid through his fingers and fell softly back than by the actual blowjob. There was a vague half-smile on his face, as the other man worked him over.

Suddenly, Jasper seemed to revive. Flipping the other man onto his back, he worked with focused determination. His eyes were screwed shut as Jasper expertly blew the man. There was something mechanical, almost clinical, in the way he did it, then scissored his fingers into the bottom's ass.

Like he was switched off inside.

It made Edward's chest hurt a bit.

He took some more shaky sips of wine, enjoying the rich swell of tastes on his tongue, the slightly acrid after-taste.

Meanwhile, Assper had gotten down to business.

With a loud, obviously (to Edward) faked grunt, he sank his erection into the offered hole. The bottom convulsed, features twisting in pain, but he didn't push him away. There was something desperate in the way the bottom grabbed at his thighs, spreading himself, trying to take it all. Like he needed the pain, reveled in the punishment.

Edward winced, mouse hovering over the pause button. This was NOT what he wanted.

Younger Jasper seemed to snap out of his haze at the choked moans his penetration caused, all of a sudden reminding Edward of the Jasper he knew. His emaciated face gentled, losing its stony shell, and he stilled his hips. His eyes were softer, more focused, as his fingers travelled down the bottom's quivering abs, as he leaned forward to suck on his neck.

Edward watched intently as Jasper connected with the man long enough to draw him through that initial discomfort.

Once his movements resumed and the bottom's sounds settled into ones of pleasure, Jasper detached again.

He thrust robotically, a steady sawing movement.

The camera zoomed in and it was all gigantic balls slapping and glistening shaft pumping and stretched hole, well, stretching. It continued through several positions until both men creamed on the bottoms abs.

When it was done, Edward clicked another link, nervousness gone. It was a better clip than the last; both men were more into it. Edward found himself somewhat harder as the action unfolded, and absent-mindedly adjusted himself.

Several vids later, there was no doubt that Edward was hard. He was still in his underwear, and desire pulsed steadily in his belly. It was comforting in a way, a feeling Edward knew well. He wasn't sliding out of control this time, and he savored the throbbing for the moment, not yet ready to get serious.

Stretching, getting up to pee and pour another glass of wine, Edward realized he'd gain a lot of insight.

Insight on Jasper.

Watching all the queued videos of him had given Edward a better perspective, a sense of familiarity. He could recognize the sounds and expressions of lust on him.

There were two distinct trends in Jasper's gay videos.

In some, he crackled with nervous energy. He was aggressive and demanding, fiercely pounding and eyes flashing. In others, he was like the first one; vaguely distracted and passively incoherent.

Edward guessed it depended on if and when he'd done his last shot. It was strange, feeling so intimately close to a man just from watching him expose himself on film. It gave Edward a strange freezing sensation in his gut to think someone might do the same with him, Headward.

Palming his swollen crotch, Edward took a gulp of wine from his fresh glass and deliberately opened a new search window. It was obvious that he wasn't learning anything about being-fucked-faces as long as Jasper was in the picture.

He was helplessly transfixed by the man.

Who topped.

Edward itched to check out those two videos he'd found before of Jasper taking it, but he knew that if he did, he would masturbate to orgasm.

It was inevitable.

Just the thought made his dick pulse viciously.

He wanted to enjoy this for a while though, so he resolutely turned to the search bar and typed '_'Best Bottom''_.

It was time for serious research, not Jasper watching indulgence.

Serious porn research.

If that was even possible.

The search results were a mish-mash of nonsense and Edward puffed an annoyed breath and detailed his search as _''Best GAY Bottom.''_

Now THAT was the right thing too search for!

Edward followed some blog links to various discussions. It was immediately obvious that a few names repeatedly stood out.

The first one he searched looked too young, a frail body with a bubble butt and an incongruously enormous cock. It made Edward uncomfortable, watching that juvenile face with big dreamy eyes and that gigantic log of man-meat swinging.

The next name though… Edward's breath caught in his throat.

The blogger had claimed that he was the absolute best gay bottom.

He was so good that he didn't make you want to fuck him; he made you want to be fucked _like him!_

It was true.

The movies were from an obviously higher quality company that claimed to have straight college students explore. Edward wasn't so sure about that affirmation, but at least the clips seemed professional. The décor was clean and vaguely luxurious, abstract art on the wall and interesting detailed headboards.

And the bottom…

He really _was_ perfect to Edward's taste.

Edward grew insistently hard watching him. He was rather on the aggressive side for a bottom; at the beginning of the clip Edward thought he might be the top as he attacked the other man. He colored beautifully as he became aroused, and then when he was finally fucked…

Edward HAD to take his leaking dick in hand and slowly stroke it.

The dark-haired man was pretty vocal, but the sounds didn't seem forced at all. His face was all screwed up with intense pleasure as he abandoned his body to the pounding. The more he was fucked, the more he lost himself as the pleasure built, dirty words spilling out, spreading himself wantonly, begging for more.

But what curled the desire so tight in Edward was how obvious it was he enjoyed it; the man's dick was _so_ hard! It made Edward's twinge in sympathy just watching the straining purple length as it bobbed and jerked in time to the fucking, unattended against the bottom's belly.

And somehow, the guy was able to stand it, increasing frustration evident in his whining and the way he cast longing looks at his hard-on. His hands twisted into the covers, hovering towards his cock before he grabbed the back of his muscled thighs.

God.

The top was good too, he had great stamina. Edward was sure they would both explode soon, but a quick glance showed him the clip wasn't even half over.

Pulse pounding in his temples, Edward kicked his underwear off and stroked himself more forcefully, dragged along by the intensity of the scene. His hand moved swiftly, graceful fingers fisted in just the right way to create the best sensations.

The actors changed position, opting for a reverse cowgirl on the edge of the bed.

It was actually reverse _cowboy_ in their case, Edward corrected himself.

Anyway, whatever it was called, it was fuckhot!

Edward set his wineglass down on the floor by the sofa and really got to business, alternating between an overhand and an underhand grip, lightly constricting the base with his other hand.

Holy shit that felt good.

The bottom was all cut muscle as he rode the other man, and GOD was he hard. He didn't stroke himself too much; it was more like he fondled his erection. His hands ran over his abs and thighs, travelled down to his balls; lower still, to drag over the other man's balls and thighs.

Edward was experienced enough in sex to read the signs of orgasm written all over the bottom's body language; the flushed chest, the tight abs, the even tighter testes, the head that fell back heavily.

The man was very close, and Edward had to wonder if those times he moved his hands away from his bobbing boner were deliberate; if he was staving off his release by denying himself contact, if that was why he ground so desperately on the dick in his ass.

Edward had to lighten his own strokes, teasing fingers trailing as he blinked deliberately and forced himself to calm. He could feel it in his OWN body, that building tension.

Fuck. He was dimly happy that he didn't have to save his load for after-tomorrow's fake-fuck shoot.

Edward followed the actor's example and brought his hands down to play with his balls, before he experimentally pushed them further. As he dug his right knuckles against his swollen taint, his abandoned cock dripped onto his abs at the thought of what he was going to do.

Inching further back, he pressed his fingers closer to his secret crevice, into unexplored territory. Watching the bottom onscreen, literally writhing in pleasure from the dick in his ass, gave Edward the courage to run his finger back as far as he could reach between his own legs.

Nervousness clenched in his stomach, while lust clenched lower, deep in his gut. Surely it couldn't be all that bad, if the other man was begging for more through gritted teeth?

Onscreen, another position switch; standing up doggy style, with one leg braced on the bed frame.

Edward reluctantly admired the muscular top; the guy sure knew how to work it! He pounded unforgivingly, fingers tight on the other man's hips, steadying him against the force of his thrusts.

Edward dragged his fingertips more firmly between the crease of his butt cheeks. He had to spread his thighs apart and roll his hips to get enough reach; God, he felt so wanton doing this, so… _dirty_… ashamed yet excited.

Edward froze, recognizing that his wandering finger just barely touched the wrinkled texture around his hole. He could feel his cheeks –the ones on his face- burning red-hot, even if no-one was watching him.

Fuck.

He was playing with his asshole.

As the realization slammed home, several things happened at once.

Sudden shouts of ''Oh shit! I'm going to cum! Fuck me! Fuck me! Yeeeeesss!'' drew his attention back to his monitor screen.

And Edward watched in incredulous wonder as the man's cock began spewing cum, _untouched_! It throbbed and dripped, flexing in the air between the bent-over man's legs. The sight made Edward's own balls rise; suddenly, he teetered on the edge of release.

At the same moment, his phone started ringing loudly.

Edward jerked in surprise, a spastic movement that caused his _hesitating-right-there_ finger to press unexpectedly into his own asshole, all the way to the first knuckle.

The startling intrusion tore a gasp from Edward and set off fireworks in his belly.

Edward forced his left hand let go of his swollen cock.

Fuck, so close.

Edward could feel the blood pounding in his shaft, swollen to maximum stiffness. It _hurt_ being this close, hungry nerve-endings demanding a touch -any touch- to relieve the pressure.

Edward tensed his jaw and ignored it, bringing his hand down instead, to yank hard on his tense sack in an effort to stem the rising release.

The sound of his phone's ringing faded as Edward concentrated; he pressed his lips tight, trying to swallow down involuntary grunts, sweating on the edge. For some visceral reflexive reason, he didn't want to ejaculate because of a finger in his ass. It was just… wrong… So Edward stubbornly fought down the massive building explosion, light-headed and trembling.

It would have worked too, if the video didn't repeat the cumshot from a second angle.

Staring into the bottoms orgasm-face as his dick spurted solely from anal fucking, Edward just couldn't hold it. Fuck.

As his pleasure peaked, Edward's hand released his aching balls to stroke frantically at his flexing shaft. His right hand remained motionless; Edward could _feel_ his anal muscles clenching and releasing, clenching and releasing around the intruder breaching them.

Fuucckk!

Edward pulled his finger from his asshole, then, as his whole body shuddered, he poked it back in -_on purpose._

The uncoordinated spasms of pleasure it caused resulted in his elbow knocking the laptop off the couch armrest, where it was already precariously balanced, to crash onto the wineglass on the floor.

So Edward ejaculated from touching his asshole, swearing through his teeth at his phone that still bleeped insistently; the shrill repetitiveness of the ringing phone competed with the sharp crackling sound of breaking glass and the muffled thud of his computer smacking the floor. All the while, white static filled his vision and his release striped onto his wrist.

It was a very agitated, ungainly orgasm.

But it was _gooood._

In a naughty, pushing the boundaries way; like running down the darkened street after toilet-papering the neighborhood grouch's house, giggling and high on forbidden.

It left Edward feeling totally drained, sweaty and out of breath.

Fuck.

Trying to sort himself out, Edward's sluggish thoughts wouldn't cooperate.

There was too much input all at once and, still quivering with aftershocks, Edward couldn't prioritize.

What did he deal with first?

The phone, the laptop, the broken glass, the slippery mess?

The ringing was goddamn annoying, hence his priority. Edward decided that he would answer the phone first. However, just as soon as his loose muscles cooperated enough for him to stand, the call went to voice-mail.

Thank fuck.

Panting in his now-silent living room, Edward finally decided to take care of the glass; it was quickly clear he needed to wash the cum off his hands first.

There.

Progress.

Almost coherent organization.

Oh shit!

Cum… Edward stared at his index, remembering where it had recently been…

Shit shit shit!

Did he have… _shit_… on his finger? Holy shit!

Peering intensely, Edward squinted at his index until his vision blurred. Nope. Nothing. Obviously, his priorities were still screwed. He needed to wash his finger first. With bleach. Then set fire to it. Or maybe cut it off.

Holding his exploratory digit up to the light, Edward reexamined it. Nothing visible to the naked eye.

Crap.

Crap indeed. Who knew what bacteria might be lurking on the pink surface!

Crap crap crap!

Edward really needed to stop swearing with that word in his head, it just made him panic more.

Shit!

God, not better. Tentatively, Edward tried again.

Fuck?

Absolutely NOT better either; it was the next step!

Maybe Edward would have to stop swearing completely! That would be soooo gay!

Holding his finger as far from himself as he could, and so straight he was starting to get a cramp, Edward headed to the sink to wash and disinfect.

Again.

And again.

Some stubborn part of him still whispered though. Even through the determined suddsing and the no-mental-swearing concentration.

It had been good.

It had been really good.

Coming from a finger in his asshole. Edward couldn't imagine what Jasper's dick would feel like!

_Crap shit fuck!_

Don't think of that!

Man his hands shook badly, almost as badly as his post-orgasm knees. Edward splashed water onto his burning face, trying to get a grip.

Jesus.

The next step was to deal with the mess.

At least his laptop didn't appear too damaged, even if liquid dripped from the cover as he lifted it. Once the broken glass and spilled wine was cleared up, Edward sank heavily into the couch to check his message.

What could Rose have to say? It wasn't like she knew of his recent activities, right?

His solo investigative activities?

This was Rose though…

So who knew?

Crap shit fuck.

_[HCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHC]_

* * *

><p><em>So, um, yeah. Whaddya think? Awkward? Hot? Too much information? I have to warn you, we are far from Sparkling-Marble-Ward the Vampire Virgin here... Actually, maybe I should have warned you before, when you weren't disillusioned. Crap shit fuck. <em>

_And I'm warning you now, for next week; More silly exploration to cum. Really. I don't think I've ever read anything like it before!_

_Now it's time to separate the pervs from the rest. A** special paragraph of teaser for next week's update** to those reviewers who correctly identify the bottom Edward was watching! Come on, you know the answer... Or you can always research it! Constructive serious porn research. Like Edward! lol See you in a week!_


	24. Chapter 21: MaybeNotStraight

_Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, but I call dibs on Titlight!_

_**Laverett** has been a life-saver once more, providing coffee-insight, grammar correction and football info. She's amazing. Really. I swear._

_And whhheeee! I got mentioned on the **Perv Pack's Smut Shack** for that Pervy Picspiration chapter a while back! Right on time for my birthday too! _

_Now, time for some more serious exploration._

_Oh, I almost forgot. Speaking of exploration... I'm going to share the title of the vid Edward was watching last chapter. Just for serious constructive internet porn research purposes of course... As so many guessed; it was indeed a** Corbin Fisher** video;** Kevin fucks Travis**. Travis... Yum. Please leave me to daydream while you read on. Trraaavviiiisss..._

* * *

><p><em>[HCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHC]<em>

Rosalie's message gently chided Edward for not consulting his agent before agreeing to a potentially career changing scene. She requested a breakfast meeting the day of the shoot.

And she reminded him to shave his asscrack, inviting him to have Angela do it. Somehow, her voice sounded evilly helpful. Like she guessed how he'd react to that suggestion... Which she probably did… Crap shit fuck.

Hell no!

No way in hell!

Surely she was joking…

Right?

What if she wasn't?

ASSCRACKSHAVING?

Crap shit fuck.

_[HCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHC]_

Edward's Monday passed in a surreal blur.

He went through the typical motions, working out, eating, cleaning up his apartment.

Then there were his_ other_ activities; those were not at all ordinary for him.

He did more serious constructive internet porn research.

He watched a couple of hours of gay porn in the morning, and then again in the afternoon. So of course he jerked off again. Twice. He'd felt sure he wouldn't need to in the afternoon, but apparently his dick wouldn't be satisfied unless he did.

Around suppertime, Edward got acquainted with his asshole. Intimately.

In close-up.

A quick trip to the drugstore brought a red-faced Edward home with… _supplies_.

He actually finished drinking the wine left over from yesterday before heading out briskly on foot.

Without the liquid courage, he would have been too shy to face the jaded cashier who cracked her gum at him.

Even befuddled, Edward still felt like his head was on fire and he was slightly dizzy from holding his breath.

Finally reaching the safety of his home, Edward dumped the… _supplies_… onto his bed with a relieved sigh. At least he hadn't run into anyone in the elevator, although this time the… _supplies_… were hidden in a bag.

He surveyed the results of his errand: disposable razors, five cans of shaving cream, (what could he say, there was a sale on shaving cream!) some mouthwash, a two-sided make-up mirror and the object of his shame; two three-packs of disposable enemas.

Six anal-washes…

He gulped.

Crap.

Shit.

Fuck.

His nerves were frayed, yet at the same time, he was pleased with himself. He'd done it! It was mortifying enough having to go out and buy them; he certainly didn't want to repeat the experience more often than was necessary. Hence the half-dozen little squeeze bottles with a handy long, thin insertion tube that now lay on his bed. They were even pre-lubricated.

Crap shit fuck.

Soon it would be not crap not shit not fuck.

And later; not crap not shit fuck!

Maybe.

Probably.

Edward gulped again, throat tight.

First things first.

_[HCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHC]_

Carefully closing the blinds and locking his bathroom door- as if someone would enter unannounced through his locked front door- Edward removed his clothes.

He began with well-known territory, scraping the stubble from his pubic mound. Then he sat in the empty tub and very very carefully ran the blade over his balls. This was familiar too, he'd done it often enough to know to use his hair conditioner instead of shaving cream. Conditioner provided better slipperiness for the razor to glide in, and it was clear enough for him to see through.

Plus, it left his skin feeling really smooth.

The razor made a rough scratchy sound, and the conditioner smelled nice.

Edward might have hummed a bit as he worked.

Very very carefully manipulating the loose skin, stretching it taut between his fingers, Edward worked inch by inch until he couldn't feel a single coarse hair. Rinsing off, he took a deep breath.

Then another.

Fuck, his face was flaming again, just at the thought of shaving… there.

There was no way around it. Edward had to just dive right in.

_Like his finger yesterday…_

Geez, not now! The last thing he needed was a panic attack while he held a blade to his balls!

And anyway, Edward's research had helped him a lot. Watching four hours of porn that day had helped Edward feel somewhat desensitized to assholes.

But he still cringed at the thought of the hairy ones. So it was time to deal with his. It wasn't like had a jungle creeping out of his buttcrack. But he wasn't baby-smooth either.

He needed to get asscrackshaving.

Because he was a professionnal.

He was _Headward Cullen, King of Pussy_. Soon to be _Headward Cullen of the Impeccable Asscrack_.

_[HCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHC]_

It was easy at first.

Edward spread conditioner lower, behind his balls. Holding his package out of the way with one hand, he ran the razor over the delicate skin until he reached the cleft of his cheeks.

After that though…

It was awkward as hell and required some pretty ungraceful contortions. Why didn't humans have longer arms?

There was something to be said about the evolutionary road gorillas had chosen...

Edward was forced to spread his legs to gain better access.

Then spread them some more.

It was not a position he was used to; in fact, it was quite the opposite. It made him feel slutty to be lying on his back with his legs splayed, running a cheap plastic razor blindly through his ass crack.

Spreading conditioner there with his fingers actually felt pretty good, all slippery-sliding and Edward might have slippery-slid his fingers up and down a bit more than was strictly necessary.

He just wanted to do a thorough job.

He was a perfectionist.

Yes, that was it. It was just coincidence that his finger slippery-slipped inside his asshole a bit.

It felt much better with the lubrication, and Edward's dick plumped. It would be easy to press more than the tip in like this. Would it slide right in, all the way? How would it feel?

Chewing on the inside of his cheek, Edward quickly removed his traitorous research finger before he acted on the errant thought.

Later.

Maybe.

Probably.

After he'd found the courage to try one of the enemas.

Edward still had mixed feelings towards that finger because of yesterday. His trust in his index was broken.

You could never be too clean. And Edward wanted to make sure his untrustworthy finger's next journey into the unknown was as not-traumatic as possible. He didn't want any surprises. Even if the process necessary to achieve that result would surely be traumatic. Just thinking about it, Edward cringed. Definitely not not-traumatic.

Surely there was a word for not-traumatic? Untraumatic? No, that didn't sound right. Traumaless? Traumafree?

Mother fuck.

Edward had to get through the asscrackshaving first.

Exhaling shakily, Edward concentrated on trying to remove all the brittle hairs, trying to feel them with his fingers. It was doable, working on both sides. But down at the bottom, where the slanting muscles met… Edward couldn't get the razor into the right angle…

He needed to spread more.

And his dick annoyed him, lying heavy and leaky on his abs; he knew he'd be rock-hard if he so much as touched it.

Mother Mother fuck.

Edward didn't know if his blushing at the asscrackshaving was caused by nervousness, desire, or irritation.

Trying to get a better reach, Edward was hampered by the bathtub. His knees bumped into the cold surface and he slipped on the bottom. He briefly flipped onto all fours, but found that he needed a third arm to hold himself up, or else he would find himself faceplanted with both hands buried between his buttcheeks.

Really, this was ridiculous!

In the end, he finished the job lying on his bathmat, flushed with embarrassment at the graceless position. On his back, knees pressed to his chest and grabbing one asscheek to try to spread it as far as possible from the other; this was definitely not his most glorious hour!

He would kill Rose.

And maybe Jasper too, since he was the reason for this ordeal.

Might as well include Alice too.

Fucking asscrackshaving...

Pre-fucking asscrackshaving.

Or pre-not-fucking asscrackshaving in his case...

_[HCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHC]_

When he estimated the job done, Edward rinsed and used his new mirror to check the effect.

His crack was a lot less intimidating, shaved like that. Somehow, with the absence of hair, it seemed less forbidden; it blended seamlessly into the skin all around, nothing marking it as different.

Who knew there was such a great distance between his balls and his asshole? Edward had never really observed that part of his anatomy before.

It was… educational.

But Edward couldn't see if there were any patches of hair left.

He needed his glasses, and the flip side of the mirror that showed close-ups.

And a lot more clumsy contortions.

In the end, it took squatting over the mirror and bending in half, holding his junk out of the way, for Edward to finally really see his own hole. It wasn't that impressive, considering all the emotions it stirred in Edward. Just an unassuming pucker of skin.

With a few stray dark hairs a little to the left.

Crap shit fuck.

_Hairless_ crap shit fuck. Well,_ almost_ hairless crap shit fuck.

Edward carefully scraped some more, discovering that squatting over the mirror worked for shaving too, especially if he placed one foot on the side of the tub.

If he decided to do this often, Edward would consider taking up yoga. As long as you were young, slim, and pretty flexible, asscrackshaving was physically possible. No accounting for the havoc it caused on his mental stability though...

Finally, finally, mercifully, Edward was done.

Surprisingly, considering he wasn't really hard, his hand was wet with precum when he released his held-out-of-the-way dick. Well fuck.

Edward was about to wipe the fluid off, but instead he spontaneously licked the shiny trail in one long stripe. Like Jasper's pre-cum, it actually didn't taste like much.

A bit of salt and musk.

And conditioner.

_Yuck._

Edward gargled with a few swallows of water from the shower as he rinsed off any clingy hairs and conditioner residue from… down there.

He considered watching more porn, but opted instead to sink into bed. He was mentally exhausted from pushing his boundaries today.

Not to mention turning into a pretzel trying to reach his elusive asshole.

As he drifted off, Edward sleepily ran his fingers down into his shorts, marveling at the soft soft skin there. He'd have to decide later if the results of shaving were worth the effort required to get there. Later.

Tomorrow.

Tomorrow when Jasper pretended to fuck him.

Edward's last thought before sleep overtook him was a question: he wondered if Jasper shaved himself… there?

Maybe they could do each other. Do as in shave.

Well, do as in _do_ too, because really, what was the point of shaving if you didn't get done after?

He'd have to see.

Tomorrow.

Edawrd had survived asscrackshaving!

_[HCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHC]_

The next morning, Edward discovered that walking down stairs with a freshly shaved ass-crack was… interesting. He could _feel_ his cheeks moving against each other. It wasn't exactly uncomfortable. Just new and weird.

Arriving at their usual café, before Rosalie of course, Edward quickly forgot about the sensation.

He sat at their usual table, inhaling the heavenly aroma of coffee and pastries and wondering yet again if it would be really rude to order breakfast before Rose showed up. She was always fashionably late, so it was her fault. If she'd arrive there at the time she fixed, Edward wouldn't be in danger of perishing from lack of nourishment.

As usual.

Thankfully, an impeccably groomed Rose appeared at that moment. It mystified Edward; how she could look as though she'd stepped out of a photo shoot at eight in the morning?

Her long blond hair was luminous in the sunlight, an icy curtain framing her striking features. Maybe she was the one who had given Jasper shampoo-commercial-worthy-hair tricks.

It was unfair.

As they settled over breakfast, Rosalie spoke relatively softly over the din of the other customers and the hiss of the espresso machine.

''So, Edward… You're gay then. You should have told me.''

Predictably, Edward choked; the large bite of muffin he'd been scarfing down tumbled through the wrong pipe.

It took a few minutes and a healthy swig of burning coffee that singed his tongue for Edward to be able to answer.

''Rose, I'm not. Not really. At least I don't think so… Maybe bi… Or not… I don't know. I like Jasper at least. And gay porn kinda turns me on.''

Rose was silently staring at him, completely expressionless. Man, she should play poker.

''Okay, gay porn turns me on a lot. But it didn't, before Jasper. Except I didn't watch any, so maybe it did. I don't know. And it freaks me out too. But I'm not going to let that stop me. I've lived with the fear of other's judgment all my life.''

Edward paused, suddenly realizing something. Rose had signed him on as a _straight_ porn actor.

She could end their contract if she wanted to.

Well fuck.

Edward was fucked indeed. Double fucked. Contract breaching fucked in his shaved ass.

It was too late to turn back now, though.

''So… yeah. I'm… maybe-not-straight. And if you don't like it, then I'll find another agent. I think. I hope. I won't let my parents decide for me. Or Jasper. And not you either.''

The words rushed out, tumbling haphazardly. Edward didn't even try to sort them out, because if he did, he knew they would jam and he'd start stuttering.

''I'm doing this scene. And I'm maybe doing Jasper, later, off set. Well, he's maybe doing me. I think. I don't know. He gave me butt plugs, surely that means something? And Alice made him take some too… So yeah, I don't know. But you can't stop me.''

Edward ran out of words then, and he hoped Rosalie had understood the rambling better than he did, because he was quite confused.

Which wasn't unusual at all.

He reluctantly raised his gaze to see the effect of his rant on his agent.

She merely regarded him, her face stony.

It made Edward squirm. Why was he so intimidated by her? Jesus, couldn't she just say… something? Even bad news? Rosalie had a very sharp tongue, Edward braced himself for the lashing of his life.

''Edward.'' Rosalie began, voice eerily expressionless. ''Are you done?''

Edward nodded, throat too tight to be able to answer. Shitshitshitshitshit.

His insides quaked, but he made himself stay firm and face her. He would do it. He COULD do it. For himself. And for Jasper.

Rosalie's voice was soft and… fond? … as she answered'' I'm proud of you Edward. You've grown. You stood up for yourself. You never would have dared before….You're progressing a lot. My baby is growing up!''

''Listen, Edward.'' Rosalie pushed a strand of hair from her face with impeccably French-manicured nails. ''I want you to be happy. And I'll deal with the career repercussions. But next time… you really should warn me!''

Rose took a dainty sip of her dark roast, BLACK. You might think because her beauty-queen appearance that Rose would drink some froufrou beverage.

Maybe a Fat-Free Double Soy Cinnamon Spice Mocha Half-Caffe.

But you would be wrong to judge her in such a shallow way; Rose's taste in coffee mirrored her personality. No cream or sugar, no foam, no soy, mocha, or latte stuff. Strong and scorching; no frills needed or desired…

Unaware of Edward's early morning analysis of her caffeine habits, Rosalie proceeded to launch into a play by play of the football game last night.

Edward slowly deflated, the lump of nerves he hadn't realized was sharing valuable stomach space with his muffin dissolving.

''Thanks.'' He gently touched her hand, interrupting her mid-sentence.

She nodded, looking a bit misty-eyed. ''Just… be careful Edward. I don't want you to get hurt. And I don't mean walking-funny-the-day-after hurt either. Take care of your heart, Edward. And remember I'm your friend too, not just your business-partner.''

Edward nodded, choked.

Fuck, now he was all emotional.

Surely a side-effect of being maybe-not-straight.

Edward pretended to listen as Rose resumed her football season commentary, going on about a wounded quarterback and how it affected the team's chances. He stared out the window, for once mercifully at peace.

He felt good.

Rose was cool.

And Jasper was about to fake-fuck his smoothly shaved ass-crack...

_[HCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHC]_

Edawrd nearly jumped out of his skin at a hand squeezing his shoulder.

It wasn't Rose; she was sitting in front of him and frozen mid-gesturing about the versatile tight end's ball receiving skills that resulted in yesterday's win.

Raising his head, Edward saw two unknown guys putting their coats on by the banquet seat behind him. The one whose hand rested on his shoulder seemed to be mid-thirties to forties. He looked elegant, kind and… gay.

There was a diamond sparkling in his earlobe, his slim round glasses were just the right gold to accentuate his highlights, his impeccably-pressed shirt was lavender and his shoes looked way too fashionable to be straight.

His grey eyes were soft though, and his hand squeezed again. There was a thick silver band on the ring finger. His voice was smooth and warm as he spoke.

''Congratulations, man. Coming out is never easy… It gets better after, you'll see… Well done!''

And with a final squeeze, he turned and walked away, leaving a stunned Edward gape-mouthed behind.

As they reached the door, the man twined his fingers his partner's, and nodded at Edward over his shoulder, before they disappeared onto the sidewalk.

Edward had the support of maybe-not-straight strangers.

Crap shit FUCK.

_[HCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHC]_

Rosalie giggled quietly into her coffee for a long time after.

And Edward, well Edward was frozen, his muffin forgotten.

Had he really just come out?

He didn't really know; it was all too muddled in his head. He'd always imagined coming out as a grand proud thing, declaring you were homosexual with banners and accompanying fanfare. Not that he'd really imagined coming out many times before. Since he wasn't gay. Well, probably not. Maybe-not-straight.

Yet the stranger's support made him feel warm and comforted.

It would be all right.

However it turned out.

Because Edward's sexual orientation was still undefined.

But he'd almost-come-out; as maybe-not-straight.

No clear black or white; it was all hopelessly muddled swirls of gray.

Rather; shades of _gay_.

Rising, Edward knew that it was time to take another step to determine the colors of his desires.

As he walked to the studio with Rose, Edward felt surprisingly serene and peaceful, for an almost-out maybe-not-straight man about to not-really-get-it-up-the-ass.

As he entered the building, he nodded in acknowledgement at the stupid birds who were still warbling.

Stupid ignorant blissfully unsexually-oriented birds.

Who didn't have to do any asscrackshaving.

Since they didn't have cracks.

Or asses.

Or hands.

Or hair.

Lucky stupid birds.

* * *

><p><em>Yeah, so, where do I start after a chapter like this? Never tried to shave your own ass-crack? It compares to trying to shave your pussy when you're nine months pregnant. Because you know that even if YOU can't see it, you'll have a whole room of people staring right there... Sorry... I digress.<em>

_This chapter is a bunch of silliness. _

_But seriously, shaving can be a kink. Actually, I'm surprised I've never read anything on it in one of the kinkfests. My ex was kinky. Very kinky. The same man who introduced me to D/S. He liked shaving. And especially watching shaving. Then rubbing with lotion before fucking with thigh-highs on. Man, how could I forget all that for ten years? Damn, now I have another one-shot to write._

_I forgot what I wanted to say again, so I'll see you all next week!_

_xxx_

_FrenchCaresse_


	25. Chapter 22: Feathers and Shortshorts

_Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, but I call dibs on Titlight!_

_Well hello my lovelies! Did you miss Headward last week? Chances are you already know, but the kinky plot-bunny from the A/N in chapter 21 refused to let me continue until I got the one-shot done. So if you enjoy some romantic, voyeuristic, lightly kinky het sex, check out **Reconnection**, a Carlisle-Esme O/S. _

_What would I do without my amazing Beta** Laverett**?_

_Right, so enough of all the silly Edward freaking out, it's time to get down and dirty. At least; FAKE down and dirty. Let's get to it! And yeah; Not Safe For Work! Contains **Sexual Content**! Under-age get out of here! Shoo now!_

* * *

><p><em>[HCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHC]<em>

Jasper was already at the studio when Edward and Rosalie arrived, and he was firmly ensconced in Angela's make-up chair. The top half of his chin-length hair was pulled back and tied with a black elastic band. He was wearing the fucking guyliner yet again.

And he… sparkled.

Really.

It was subtle, but there. Angela was still busy with her brush, vampirizing him.

The flecks caught the light, reflecting it in myriad pinpoints. Like shiny silver stars. Really tiny stars.

Edward followed the abstract constellations down Jasper's shirtless torso. He clenched his fists at the urge to drag his tongue down too.

Fuck.

Instead, he focused on Jasper's clothes. They were… glamorously over the top. He rode the line between bad-ass and feminine. He was wearing a short sleeveless vest of black leather that hung open to show his glittered torso. The vest itself looked tough, but there were_ feathers_ lining the collar.

Edward couldn't decide if the feathers were such a deep black they appeared blue, or if they were such a deep indigo they appeared black. He wondered if they belonged to the stupid birds.

_His_ stupid birds.

Edward felt a strange affectionate companionship with the noisy things.

Vampire Jasper's pants were pitch black and super skinny, ending in mid-calf broken-in black combat boots. Tough. But the belt buckle that held them up flashed with sparkly stones. Not tough at all.

Both his wrists were lined with leather bracelets (or was it cuffs- Edward would have to research the difference. Later.) One side had a single black band, thick and chunky. The other wrist disappeared beneath multiple slimmer bracelets, some with metal snaps all around. And was that a spike or three there? Tough.

A few large rings caught the light on his pale fingers, chunky and bejeweled. And his fingernails were painted black. Not tough. But they were square and short, and there was no mistaking Jasper's hand for a woman's.

The whole effect was striking.

Unforgettable.

It flirted with androgyny; the longish hair, the feathers, the make-up, and the jewelry. Yet, Jasper was strong enough to rock it, his confident masculinity almost aggressive.

He lounged, one leg crooked over the armrest, debauched and dangerous.

His eyes flashed at Edward, but his greeting was a relatively mild ''Hey.''

Edward nodded, mouth too dry to answer.

Fuck.

Watching Jasper, Edward _wanted_ to be his plaything.

That was bound to complicate things. Fuck fuck fuck.

''Alice baby, you're breaking new ground today!'' Rosalie pushed around Edward to hug and air-kiss somewhere over the smaller woman's spiky hair. There was about a foot of difference between the two.

Rosalie moved to Jasper, trailing a nail through the feathers near his neck. He stared up at her, sultry and suggestive. Maybe it was the way his lips pouted.

Or the make-up.

Or the sparkles.

Or the memory of his videos.

For whatever reason, Jasper fairly oozed lazy lust that morning. Edward was getting a semi just from drinking him in. Drinking in the SIGHT of him. Jesus. Because Edward had already had a taste of Jasper and he sure hoped he'd drink him in again.

Rosalie smiled, trailing her nail along Jasper's sharp jaw toward his soft lips. ''You sure look the part, honey.''

Jasper playfully nipped at her finger, a surprising darting movement with a little growly sound. God.

''Anything to please you, darlin'. Even feathers.''

Fuck, Jasper had better stop talking because his dark tone was only making Edward's cock react more. He fought to keep from squirming.

''Besides,'' Jasper continued in a lighter voice, ''added benefit is it hides my back too! Are you coming in, Edward?'' He called to the man who still hovered in the doorway.

Jasper's thoughts burned with dark fantasies as Edward came closer. Edward seemed relaxed enough, if a bit uncomfortable.

And he'd appraised Jasper too long. Jasper had _felt _Edward's gaze running over him. He'd had to stomp on the urge to touch his dick as it jumped in his pants. Instead, Jasper had swallowed hard, dissipating the need, feeling the fire simmer through his veins.

Jasper was hard.

Jasper was fucking hard.

He'd been hard before even getting there, before seeing the ridiculous look the girls had concocted for him.

Jasper had been hard all through the freaking restless sweaty night, half-awakening again and again to realize he was grinding against the mattress and rolling himself over with a frustrated huff.

Jasper had gone to a club the night before.

One he hadn't frequented for a long time. It had felt right; he knew in his gut it was what he needed to get into the right mindset for today's shoot.

He'd felt alive with sex, prowling the darkened smoky rooms.

Pale flesh, twisting. Exposed. Reddened. The sounds of rough treatment, gasps and slaps. Moans of pleasure. Begging. Various bondage accoutrements. All sorts of pairings; small, tall, old, slim, heavy, hairy, young.

Lust so thick it trickled down his back, settled in the very pores of his skin.

He'd half expected to come across Victoria and wondered how he would deal with that. He hadn't though. Victoria was still in Vegas.

It was a new experience to go there sober.

And alone.

Garrett's absence ate at him, a dark empty hole he'd been surprised to realize he could actually tolerate easily. It was a part of him, like his throbbing cock. An accepted and necessary ache.

Safe behind his black mask, Jasper had observed in silence.

He'd steeped himself in sex until he couldn't breathe, until his hands shook at the desire ripping through him.

He'd been approached, again and again. Men, women, sometimes both at once; they could sense the power vibrating in him. He'd been tempted. But he'd declined in a low voice. Every time.

He was saving himself.

Saving it for Edward.

In broad daylight though, watching a nervous Edward strip out of his clothes and into the ones Angela had selected, Jasper wondered at his judgment. Jasper obediently opened his mouth for Angela to glue the sharp teeth on him, his mind elsewhere.

Today wasn't even real.

It was why he'd wanted so much to place himself in the right mindset. And it had worked.

Too well.

Jasper reminded himself that today's scene was acting.

As the need to dominate, to fuck and bite and mark refused to be subdued, singing through his veins like sweet poison, Jasper worried.

Worried for Edward.

For himself.

For their budding relationship.

Darkness rolled in him; his skin felt too tight. Jasper would just have to find a way to keep it somewhat leashed.

He would.

He had to.

Somehow.

For Edward.

For himself.

For their budding relationship.

Alice shooed him out of the chair to make room for Edward, insisting Jasper follow her to the set.

Because today, they weren't shooting in the studio.

No, Alice had decided that she would switch things up. They were shooting in the locker room in the basement.

As he followed her, Jasper could tell she was dying to speak with him alone.

He was right.

Ducking under the '_'no entry_'' tape, Alice pounced on him the second the door clanged shut.

''Jasper. Are you all right?'' Alice asked.

''I'm fine.'' Jasper attempted to shrug nonchalantly, but he wasn't quite sure how successful he was because he felt wound tighter than a watch-spring, and Alice was goddamn perceptive.

And she proved it yet again, simply regarding him with crossed arms.

Avoiding her gaze, Jasper looked the set over. Navy blue metal lockers lined two walls. The floor was orangey tile, and there was a wooden bench parallel to the far wall. It was a bit cold and smelled of damp mold and gym shoes. The lighting was harsh neon, which surely explained the many reflective umbrellas and spots and diffusers.

Already, his mind was cataloguing possible options. Sexual positions involving the wall. The lockers. The bench. The floor? No, too gross and mildewed, Edward would freak out for sure.

When Jasper failed to elaborate, Alice continued.

''Jasper. I haven't seen you like this for a long time. If I didn't know you better, I would think you'd relapsed and were chaffing for a fix''. Her voice grew small and insecure, her eyes searching. ''You didn't, Jasper, did you? I know the last few weeks have been hard…''

Jasper moved to Alice, impulsively hugging her tight. Well, tight as he could without pressing his boner into her belly. Because that would just have been awkward.

He stared into her grey eyes, letting her read him. Forcing his barriers down, knowing she needed to see into his soul at that moment.

''No.'' His voice was soft and serious. ''I didn't. But it's true, in a way. I'm _craving _right now. Craving sex. Craving Edward. So bad, it's almost like needing drugs.''

''Why?'' Jasper wasn't even sure Alice had really spoken the question, or if he'd taken it directly from her mind.

He answered anyway.

''I went to Volterra last night.''

Alice gasped, eyes widening, pulling back in his arms.

''You didn't!'' Her voice was awed denial.

''Yes.'' Jasper half-smiled.'' I did.'

''And… ''Jasper could see the hesitation in Alice's eyes. ''How was it?''

Jasper forced himself to keep his guard down, to hold her loosely and let her read him even if instinct yelled at him to protect his soft wounded insides.

''It was… okay. Weird, being there sober. And alone…'' Jasper trailed off, and finally looked away, not wanting Alice to divine the extent of that hurt.

She made a soft sound of understanding and hugged him tight.

Jasper's voice was rougher when he continued. ''It was certainly hot as fuck. It sure got me riled up. I almost didn't make it to the shoot…''

''And you're sure you're alright?'' Alice pushed.

Jasper nodded.'' Yes. I am. It hurt of course, I don't often let myself miss Garret. But at Volterra… That was his thing, his passion. So of course…''

Jasper's voice cracked and he tried to clear the lump in his throat.

Fuck, he wasn't going to start crying! Not today, right before the shoot.

Fuckin' hell.

His voice was choked as he pushed himself to finish. ''I'm fine, Alice. Really. I swear I didn't cry myself to sleep last night… I was too horny!''

He laughed; a desperate mirthless sound. ''Garrett would love this, actually. He would be proud of me. He'd approve…''

Alice smiled, her fingers absent-mindedly toying with the buttons on his vest. Her voice was gentle and serious.

''He would. Jasper, Garrett always wanted you to be happy. So he'd be proud of you for pushing your limits. With Vicky. And today. Going back there yesterday. Even this thing with Edward. You're starting to open up to him, Jasper. That's good. And I'm sure Garrett knows. He's up there raising hell in heaven and he's smiling at you for accepting yourself more and more…''

The tears piled up then, Jasper's vision blurring and his mouth twisting as a pitiful sound forced its way past the knot in his tightened throat.

''Fuck, Al… don't.'' He grated.

Jasper pressed his burning eyes hard into her bony clavicle, willing the sobs down. As he gathered his composure, he heard Edward and Felix chatting as they approached. Sniffing hard, Jasper had to press his thumbs into his eyeballs, carefully wiping the extra water away.

_Fuck!_

Alice kissed him softly on the cheek, with a whispered apology.

_[HCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHC]_

Edward felt absolutely ridiculous as he pushed the swinging door into the locker room.

Absolutely completely ridiculous.

He actually blushed when Jasper surveyed him.

Edward was wearing a ridiculously preppy work-out look. A thin cotton t-shirt, blindingly white. Some tiny red shortshorts. Seriously, it was indecent. Edward kept having the eerie feeling that one of his balls was hanging out. How unsexy could you get?

And on his feet he had running shoes, but mostly white socks that Angela had insisted he pull up to midcalf. They were even whiter than the t-shirt if that was possible. Seriously, they were nuclear fusion white. Solar flare white. Crest-man smile white.

With a red line. A double red line.

Almost as red as his face.

Jasper's eyes were burning over him, the trail of tingles running amok.

''Pretty bad, huh?'' Edward voiced his discomfort, tugging on the bottom of his shortshorts.

''Well.'' Jasper's voice was rough, and he cleared his throat before continuing. ''At least you don't have_ feathers_…''

Edward laughed, for real.

There was that.

Crazy Alice.

''So yeah, guys? This is how it's going to work…''

Alice proceeded to explain in detail to her actors and cameraman exactly what she wanted.

Edward tried to listen.

He really did.

But the sound muted to a buzz as Edward was distracted.

Jasper was staring straight at him. Unflinching. Burning. He looked… hungry. It made Edward's dick want to swell in its soft mesh pouch. Fucking hell. Breathing deeply, Edward tried to focus on Alice.

He moved to stand by the bench.

Bad idea. That was closer to Jasper.

Jasper, who was still looking at him with a constant intensity, like he was lunch.

Edward's dick started to poke up, despite his best efforts.

Apparently, it _wanted_ to be lunch.

Jasper's lunch.

As a swell began to form in his shortshort's front, Edward placed a foot on the bench, hoping to hide the prodding of his dickhead.

If only Jasper would look away…

His dick continued to struggle to a heavy slanted position, tugging on the mesh insert of the shortshorts. And Edward was suddenly reminded of his shaved ass crack.

How would Jasper react to it?

Fuckin' fuck fuck fuck.

Edward was blushing again, but it wasn't shyness this time. He made himself hold Jasper's hooded gaze, watching in satisfaction as the other man's jaw clenched.

Edward felt strangely empowered to be tempting Jasper like that. He focused on trying to send him his best bedroom eyes. He was quite experienced in dazzling women that way. Surely Jasper was just as vulnerable?

Channeling the lust that wanted to settle in his belly, Edward stared at Jasper just as intently as the man had been watching him.

Jasper chewed on his lip, and nervously twisted a cuff on his wrist. He was breathing faster, Edward could see his torso rising and falling in the opening of the vest.

This was so hot! Payback time! Enough of being devoured, time to win back his power. Show him two could play that game.

Edward was going to push Jasper tell he lost it!

Edward slanted his eyelids, parting his lips on a shaky breath. How could he make it more convincing?

_Fuck-me-fuck-me-fuck-me-fuck-me._

It started as a distant chant, resonating in his subconscious.

Gradually, it forced itself into his conscious thoughts, but by then it was too late to stop it, to think of the implications.

_Fuck-me-fuck-me-fuck-me-fuck-me._

Edward stared into Jasper's eyes.

_Fuck-me-fuck-me-fuck-me-fuck-me._

Jasper bit his lip, his entire body tensing. Smoldering.

It was working!

_Fuck-me-fuck-me-fuck-me-fuck-me._

Edward's non-verbal taunted, challenged.

_Fuck-me-fuck-me-fuck-me-fuck-me._

Jasper made himself remain still, froze himself to the spot.

_Fuck-me-fuck-me-fuck-me-fuck-me._

Both men were caught, needing to break the contact; unable to.

_Fuck-me-fuck-me-fuck-m-..._

''Guys?''

Edward got the feeling it wasn't the first time Alice had called them, trying to break the trance.

_Fuck-me-fuck-me-fuck-me-fuck-me. _The chant grew quieter, a whisper of wind. It wouldn't be ignored though, breezing softly through every cell of Edward's body.

''Since no-one is listening to me, we'll just start shooting and I'll direct as we go along. Do you need prepping time?''

Jasper's dark eyes finally turned to her.

''No.'' His voice was back to that sultry, a bit rough tone.

It made Edward shiver.

Really.

It did.

Fuck.

Me.

''No thanks to you, boner killer. But Edward here was kind enough to take care of that issue…''

''Ha, ha, very funny.''

But the look Alice sent him was apologetic. Bringing up Garrett, right before a shoot. Jesus. She was lucky he was too horny to be depressed.

''I want to start off with Jasper in the corner over there, waiting and watching for Edward. This one is your locker, Edward.'' Director Alice tapped a door in the middle of the top row. ''I put some stuff inside, and the lock is there but it's not locked. And remember guys; it's Robert and Jackson, right?''

Jasper obediently slunk to his designed spot and lounged against the wall. Edward half expected him to light a cigarette, or bully some kid for lunch money. It's what his stance reminded Edward of; one of the tough kids who had terrorized him in school.

Well, until he got switched to that private school for gifted students.

Tugging on his shortshorts, Edward moved out of camera view.

''Now, Edward, you just finished your workout. I want you to do stuff at your locker so Jasper can get a good look at you.''

Edward readjusted his semi and wished one more time the shortshorts were longer.

Just a couple inches.

He walked to his designed spot, feeling self-conscious and rather ridiculous.

He turned and waved to an imaginary friend- Robert was a popular guy- before stopping in front of the lockers.

Edward scrubbed a hand through his hair, feeling the stupid shortshorts ride up as he did. Hastily bringing his arm down, Edward pretended to twirl the lock and pulled the door open. He could_ feel_ Jasper watching him and it made him want to squirm.

_Fuck-me-fuck-me-fuck-me-fuck-me._ The whispering started up again, muted.

Nervous, Edward grabbed a white towel from the locker and dabbed at his face. Fuckfuckfuck. Man, Edward hated acting. He was a power-top, not a real actor. What the heck was he supposed to do, to captivate Jasper's attention? He draped the towel around his neck.

Suddenly inspired, Edward grabbed his foot and pulled it up into a stretch.

That's right.

He should stretch after a workout.

Even if it made the shortshorts shift dangerously up his thighs. Bracing his hands on the locker, Edward raised the toes of one foot up and stuck his ass out, feeling his calf tighten. And also the red shortshorts.

He thought he might have heard a growl from the corner.

_Fuck-me-fuck-me-fuck-me-fuck-me._

The litany was gaining strength again, and Edward didn't try to force it down. It had worked earlier.

Let Jasper watch.

Edward WANTEDJasper to watch.

Biting his lip, Edward had never been so_ aware_ of his body as in that moment. He could feel the way his muscles stretched and bunched, as he lifted his arms above his head. He was aware of the shirt pulling tight across his shoulders, of the slice of skin he exposed, right under his bellybutton.

He could _feel_ Jasper feasting on the sight.

_Fuck-me-fuck-me-fuck-me-fuck-me._

Trying to keep a straight face as the mantra grew stronger, Edward angled his hips and curved his back as far as he could, arms linked together and pushing his pecs out.

He actually had to bite down a moan at the thought of how Jasper must be reacting. He WOULDN'T look to see.

He didn't need to.

Edward could feel the hungry want emanating from the corner, raking over his body like invisible fingers.

The air pulsated with the silent prayer. _Fuck-me-fuck-me-fuck-me-fuck-me._

Finally, before he peaked, or maybe begged for it, Edward turned his back to the corner. Placing one heel on the bench, he pushed his ass out.

Taunting.

Challenging.

He bent forward.

_Fuck-me-fuck-me-fuck-me-fuck-me._

Fire engine red shortshorts stretched, straining to cover the firm muscles.

_Fuck-me-fuck-me-fuck-me-fuck-me._

Edward wondered if it would be too much for him to bend down and touch his toes. He wasn't really sure he was capable of it, and his hard-on already protested its smushed position.

_Fuck-me-fuck-me-fuck-me-fuck-me._

Moving his ass a little, from side to side, Edward was certain he'd heard a growl this time.

Before he had time to really process the sound, he was suddenly lifted from the bench and manhandled roughly.

Edward might have yelped at the feel of strong hands grabbing his hips, and somehow propelling him forward to slam against the closed lockers.

He had to resist the urge to mold himself to the body heat that suddenly enveloped his back.

Fuck.

Jasper was sooooo tense. Edward could hear him panting wetly near his ear.

''Well well.'' Jasper's voice was deliciously rough again, seething with quiet menace. ''What have we here?''

Wetness dragged up the back of Edward's neck, raising goose-bumps in the short hairs.

''Didn't think you'd see me again, did you, Robert?''

_Fuck-me-fuck-me-fuck-me-fuck-me._

Edward wisely remained silent.

If he opened his fucking mouth, the words that resonated in his mind would escape. He was having enough of a hard time pretending not to be affected by Jasper's burning proximity. Fuck, he wanted to press himself back. Hard. And maybe grind a bit.

_Fuck-me-fuck-me-fuck-me-fuck-me._

Jasper's fingers clutched hard at Edward's sides as he licked another long shivery stripe up Edward's neck.

_Fuck-me-fuck-me-fuck-me-fuck-me._

One of Edward's hands moved then; instinct. It hovered down, maybe to grab at Jasper, or push him off, or even ease the front of his hopelessly tented shortshorts.

Whatever the imprecise intention, the wandering hand didn't reach its goal.

Jasper growled again, fuckin' _growled_, right in his ear, and grabbed Edward's wrist to slam his hand hard against the lockers, by his head.

The metal made a loud echoing hollow noise of protest.

Thank god; hopefully, the sound overruled Edward's throaty moan.

Jasper's fingers clenched tight in warning around the slender bones, before dragging down Edward's arm to his t-shirt hem.

''Good! Good!''

Alice was there then, suddenly. ''Let's do that again. I want different views, and I have only Felix today because there isn't room for more than one cameraman in here. Let's take that again from the slamming into the lockers part.''

''What?'' Jasper protested hazily. ''But…''

''Come on, Jasper. It doesn't have to be identical-identical. Just close enough. Slam, whisper, lick, whisper, grab hand.''

Edward was too lust-stunned to actually say much.

And Jasper, well Jasper put up with it. He was a professional.

But fuck if he wasn't going crazy.

_Fuck-me-fuck-me-fuck-me-fuck-me._

Edward didn't actually have anything to do, except remain the willing victim. That was a good thing, because his brain was turned to mush. Jasper, however…

_Fuck-me-fuck-me-fuck-me-fuck-me._

Slam, whisper, lick, whisper, grab hand.

By Take Four, Jasper was so hard he could barely remember the sequence. All of his rational thought was obliterated by the nearness of a quivering Edward. And then of course, Edward decided to STOP being so submissive and started to struggle against Jasper's hold.

It deteriorated immediately then, into; slam, whisper, lick, struggle, slam, growl, struggle-wiggle, slam, kick legs apart, bite neck, press hard dick to fucking teasing ass in shortshorts.

''Okay, enough.''

Alice's nasally voice forced them apart. ''If you're going to get all impatient, let's take this further.''

Jasper thought he heard a whispered _Thank Fuck_ from Edward. He seconded that.

Time to stop the teasing.

Little did he know…

Jasper's day was just getting started.

A long day.

A very long day.

A very long HARD day.

* * *

><p><em>*Fans self* I know I'll get complaints about stopping the scene there... But know it's actually a positive thing; it means the rest of the lemon was so long and explicit it needed its own chapter... Just saying...<em>

_As for Edward's wrist-ornament dilemma; According to **/jewelry** ''A true cuff is a rigid bracelet with a gap in the material, usually on its reverse side. The opening lets us easily slip the bracelet over a wrist.'' _

_So technically Jasper was wearing bracelets, since leather is not entirely rigid and there were snaps to close the bands. But Jasper feels very strongly about the fact that a cuff is more manly than a bracelet. So Edward is going to play along and say it was a cuff. Besides, I don't think Edward worried about Jasper's wrists more than those first few seconds, he was too busy contemplating his hard cock. _

_Til next week then..._

_Mwah!_

_FrenchCaresse_


	26. Chapter 23: Fake Fucking Benth Thex

_Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, but I call dibs on Titlight!_

_Have I ever told you how amazing my Beta **Laverett** is is? _

_Wouldn't you know it, my lemon got out of control again so it will be another **double-post** weekend! You know the drill by now, there's a distinct possibility of no update next week because of this..._

_So all the usual **warnings** apply; **Mature** Readers only. Contains **Graphic depictions of almost-sexual acts**!_

_And I strongly suggest that you read chapter 22 again, just to get in the mood... _

* * *

><p><strong><em>Just in case you don't, here's a reminder of where we left off:<em>**

_Fuck-me-fuck-me-fuck-me-fuck-me._

_Edward didn't actually have anything to do, except remain the willing victim. That was a good thing, because his brain was turned to mush. Jasper, however…_

_Fuck-me-fuck-me-fuck-me-fuck-me._

_Slam, whisper, lick, whisper, grab hand._

_By Take Four, Jasper was so hard he could barely remember the sequence. All of his rational thought was obliterated by the nearness of a quivering Edward. And then of course, Edward decided to STOP being so submissive and started to struggle against Jasper's hold._

_It deteriorated immediately then, into; slam, whisper, lick, struggle, slam, growl, struggle-wiggle, slam, kick legs apart, bite neck, press hard dick to fucking teasing ass in shortshorts._

_''Okay, enough.''_

_Alice's nasally voice forced them apart. ''If you're going to get all impatient, let's take this further.''_

_Jasper thought he heard a whispered Thank Fuck from Edward. He seconded that._

_Time to stop the teasing._

* * *

><p><em>[HCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHC]<em>

Alice's next brilliant idea was to have Jasper tear the shirt off Edward.

''Really?''

That time, it was Edward who protested. He was a man; men didn't get their clothes torn off like flirty hand-maidens.

Except if they were getting attacked by vampires, according to Alice. She continued to argue until Angela appeared with scissors, completely ignoring a distracted Edward. Jasper contributed very little to the quarrel; he was concentrating on trying to get his composure back.

Again.

Finally, after a small cut through the neckline of the shirt under the towel draped around his neck, and another one at the bottom hem, Edward gave up on changing Alice's mind, and took up position braced against the lockers.

Anticipation started to make his head spin, as Alice had Felix try several different positions to get the best angle.

Somehow,_ knowing_ his shirt was about to be torn off made Edward crazy with need.

It was so hot, thinking that Jasper desired him bad enough that he would tear his clothes off…

Grumpily, Edward had to admit Alice was right.

As usual.

Fuckin' Alice.

Finally, the director decided that having Felix filming from up in a ladder was the best angle. Jasper moved to stand behind Edward.

Fuck.

Jasper's hands kneaded up and down Edward's back, over the white cotton. It built knots in Edward's stomach.

Fuckfuckfuck.

His entire body was coiling tight, waiting, needing, knowing that release was coming.

Edward's breath huffed too fast, panting through his nose. Fucking Jasper, couldn't he just do it?

Jasper, meanwhile, was enjoying the head-rush. He watched little shakes and jerks spark in Edward as he touched him.

Sliding a hand under the cloth, Jasper nearly moaned at the relief of skin on skin. Edward's back was so warm, all bumpy with tight muscle.

Caressing roughly, Jasper let his irritation at the t-shirt build. His breath grew ragged and Edward quaked beneath him, knuckles white against the lockers.

Jasper could tell he was having a hard time remaining still and _waiting_.

It was hot as hell. It created an urge to ravish him, contradicted by the need to draw it out even more, the need to prolong the torture until Edward begged for it…

Finally, unable to resist any longer, Jasper brought his hands under the towel that taunted, draped around Edward's neck. His fingers fumbled, curling around the neckline, feeling for the cut already there. Soft fine hairs brushed against his knuckles, warm skin smooth as he tightened his hands in the fabric.

The world stilled and time stopped for a breathless moment of suspense as Jasper began to tug on the fabric. He pulled, feeling the fibers stretch taut without yielding.

As the cloth went tight, pulling across his front, Edward bit back a moan and leaned his weight into his arms on the locker. A sharp line dug into Edward's neck as Jasper put more force into it, forearms rippling with muscle as he grunted in annoyance.

Fuck, the t-shirt was almost see-through; how could it resist getting torn like that?

Jerking roughly, Jasper lost patience.

He WAS going to tear the thing!

He wanted Edward naked, NOW!

And then with a sharp rip-crack, the fabric gave.

Jasper felt a surge of power as the split grew, running unevenly down, exposing golden skin beneath. Edward almost managed to hold back a sound, maybe a whimper, at the liberating feel of the cotton breaking. His head dropped heavily; drunk on lust, drunk on Jasper's power over him.

The rip stopped somewhere towards the middle of the shirt, and Jasper quickly moved his hands down to finish in a second swift tearing motion.

_Finally_, glorious naked skin beckoned between the ruins of white._ Finally_, Jasper pressed himself tight against Edward, burying his nose in the spicy-scented crook of his neck. It was such a relief; _FINALLY_ Jasper's raging hard-on had contact!

Edward sagged in his arms. He sang with awareness of all the different textures squashing into his backside. Jasper's naked torso, sweaty and so warm. The tickly feel of the feathers near his shoulder. The crunchy light brush of a few chest hairs. A hard sharp edge digging into his bum, probably the belt buckle. And that undefined jean-covered firmness was undoubtedly Jasper's erection, pressing into his ass.

_Yes. _

Please.

More.

_Fuck-me-fuck-me-fuck-me-fuck-me._

Jasper's free hand suddenly moved to grip Edward's hard dick through his shorts. Roughly squeezing and tugging, he mirrored the movements with his hips against Edward's back. One of Edward's arms gave out, and he fell to press his forehead hard into the cold metal of the lockers.

Jasper's moves were strong, caring. He pressed burning kisses wherever he reached; into Edward's hair, his neck, his ear, the angle of his jaw.

An after-thought.

Both their attentions burned lower, to what was happening under their bellybuttons.

When Jasper finally released a panting Edward to hook his thumbs into the elastic waistband of the shortshorts, their director, whom they'd both forgotten, stepped in again.

''Cut.''

''FUCK!'' Jasper couldn't stop the irritation that time, gulping in a lungful of air to try to calm himself. His voice was jarringly soft as he asked ''What is it this time, Al...''

''You got glitter all over his back. Vampires sparkle, yes. But they don't rub off. I'm going to get Angela to clean him up, and reglitter you, before we continue.''

Jasper nodded stiffly, stepping away to stare at the wall and run a shaky hand through his hair as Felix was sent in search of their make-up artist.

The small room was stifling with awkward tension as they waited.

Jasper's back was tight and he seemed intent on counting the dirty tiles on the far wall. Alice's sharp features were pinched, stubbornness softened by understanding. Edward observed all this as he sank to the bench.

He sank because his knees didn't want to hold him up.

Fuck!

With long fingers, he picked at his shortshort front. Edward's dick was hopelessly tangled in the mesh and nylon. It felt as though the stupid shortshorts were determined to strangle it off and it was uncomfortable as hell. Sitting down had only made it worse.

Obviously, using one hand and being subtle wasn't working.

Fuck.

Getting up, Edward went for broke. He dove a hand in to wrap around his hard cock, sucking his belly in while using the other hand to tug the fabric free. Fuck that felt good! The problem was moisture, Edward realized. His cock-head had been leaking quite a bit, and that made the nylon stick to it. Not to mention that his abdomen was quite sweaty too. He curled his fingers tighter, enjoying the throbbing response.

Feeling the now-familiar burning tingles, he glanced up to catch Jasper watching him while his hand was down his pants.

Fuck.

His cock flexed hard in his hand; Edward ignored the spasm of pleasure and hastily removed his disobedient fingers.

Thankfully, Angela appeared then, accompanied by the sound of the heavy clanging of the door. In a matter of minutes, Edward's back was wiped clean and she was tsk tsk'ing at Jasper for getting sweaty and spreading the glitter around.

Jasper didn't argue but Edward could see the blistering comments that ran behind his eyes. Maybe Angela did too, because when she happened to glance at his face rather than his chest, her tirade abruptly cut off.

You didn't want to push Jasper when he was like that, for sure.

''God, Edward, will you leave it alone?''

It was Alice who called Edward back to order.

''What?'' He asked, flustered.

Alice stared at him with a raised eyebrow, pointedly checking out his crotch.

His crotch where his hand was absentmindedly picking at the clingy fabric again.

With a sigh, Edward brought his arms up and crossed them awkwardly over his chest.

''Sorry Al. It's the fucking nylon, and the mesh. I got my panties twisted in a bunch, I guess.'' Edward attempted humor.

Alice just stared at him, and Jasper looked like he wanted to tear them off like the shirt.

Or bite them off.

Or something.

Fuck.

Alice shrugged, motioning the men towards the lockers. ''Fine then, I think we're about ready to have Jasper take them off you anyway.''

Alice directed Felix to lie on the floor and have the boys take up position standing against the lockers, over him.

The blatant voyeurism made Edward blush, and he tried to deliberately NOT look down at the man and camera between his legs. He hoped his balls were behaving and remaining inside the shortshorts.

Man, did Edward hate the shortshorts.

More and more, with a growing passion every passing second. He wondered if he could set them on fire when this was all done.

Probably not.

Surely nylon didn't burn very well.

Especially wet nylon. It was bound to release pretty noxious fumes. Edward was very enviro conscious. Maybe he should request organic hemp shorts next time.

And light them on fire.

Then Jasper's dick pressed hard into Edward's ass again and all thoughts of shorts or global warming evaporated.

''Game faces on! Jasper, try not to rub your chest on Edward too much.''

Edward felt Jasper's fingers tighten in irritation at Alice's words, almost bruising around the bony ridges of his hips, but Jasper didn't answer her.

''Camera's rolling, in 3-2-Action.''

Staring at the locker door, it took mere seconds for Edward to sink back into his role. Jasper moved against him; grinding. Maybe being told to keep his torso away was the reason that his hip moves were suddenly intensified. Whatever the reason, Jasper rolled his pelvis, pressing rhythmically into Edward.

It was soooo much like fucking…

Edward bit his lip, unable to stop from shifting into the motion. Soon they were dry-humping enthusiastically, trying to keep the sounds down. Edward was supposed to be unwilling. Fuck.

Then Jasper's hand moved around. It slid, palm flat against Edward's bare abs, moving in sweeping side-to-side motions. Edward's head lolled at the nearness of it and he tried to ignore the camera lens staring up between his feet.

Then Jasper's hand moved again, sweeping INTO his shortshorts and Edward heaved an unsteady breath to lock down the loud groan that wanted to escape. Jasper's fingers searched, impatient, trying to get Edward's dick free from the strangle mesh.

Fuck.

Edward curled his hands into fists and maybe banged the locker door a bit.

Fucking hell! So close, yet not… It was sooo frustrating!

Jasper was annoyed too; his movements were jerky and his other hand came around to help.

''Fuck.'' He grunted into Edward's shoulder. Finally the blond vampire managed to pry Edward's cock from its prison.

The relief was immense.

Instant.

Intense.

Intensemmant?

Actually, Edward's thoughts blurred so much from the pleasure they were closer to _bhuikyhvasnbdvVaaahhh_.

Rocking into Jasper's fist in time to the pumping motion of his hips, Edward was in heaven.

Well, almost.

Edward was dangerously close to pushing the red shortshorts down and impaling himself on Jasper.

He hadn't realized his eyes had closed until a voice near his ankles made him jump.

Fuck! Felix!

Edward had somehow managed to forget there was a cameraman on the floor between his legs!

''You should get the shorts out of the way, I can't get a proper shot.''

Without waiting for Alice's approval, Edward slid the shorts down and tried to rapidly step out of them.

Felix's suggestion had Edward's approval, that was for sure!

As Edward unfolded himself, Jasper's hands left Edward's cock, soon followed by the clink of his belt buckle.

There was a soft moan and Edward tried to peek under his arm to check out Jasper touching himself. At the same time, the shortshorts clung to his ankle and refused to let go.

Shaking his foot, Edward nearly kicked Felix upside the head. Squatting some more and widening his stance, he tried again and finally managed to rid himself of the pesky garment. Just as he straightened triumphantly, his shoulder connected with something solid that grunted.

Fuck, Jasper.

However, there was barely a pause in the stroking; barely a breath of air on his throbbing cock, before Edward had resumed position and bliss erased his mind at Jasper's hand-job.

Jasper pumped hard and fast, his hand making soft slipping noises. Edward puffed breath through his mouth, going limp against the lockers again. Fuck that felt good!

He could feel a blunt solidness nudging his ass. Damn; that was Jasper's cock! Just as Edward realized this, Jasper let go of one of his hips and suddenly the random contacts were deliberate drags.

Fuuuccckk!

Jasper watched his dick as he traced it on Edward's plump ass. He wanted to sink it between, so bad! Fuck, Edward had a fine ass!

Jasper's eyes narrowed to slits as he watched his swollen dick-head leave a shiny mark on Edward's skin.

''God, that'_th_ _th_oooo hot.'' Jasper moaned.

What?

Jasper froze and tried again.

''What the fuck? _Th th th th_.''

Edward's foggy thoughts eventually caught on to the fact that Jasper had stopped moving and he was making weird Thomas-the-Train chugging noises.

''Jasper?'' Edward peeked under his arm.

Jasper was still holding his dick by the base, all glistening and swollen. Mmmmmm.

Concentrate.

Jasper was making a weird face, frowning. Not a cum face. Although the thought of Jasper cumming all over his ass… Edward shuddered.

''Jasper? Is everything okay?'' Edward asked breathlessly as Alice approached from the opposite side.

Jasper shook his head, no.

''What…?'' Alice began

Jasper shook his head to clear it a bit.

''It'_th_ my tooth.'' He parted his lips and poked his tongue at his right plastic incisor. Edward swallowed a moan. Fuck, he wanted Jasper poking… somewhere… with that supple muscle.

''It'_th_ loo_tthh_. I think when Edward bumped me the tooth got hit. And now I can't _th_peak right.'' He tried again experimentally.'' _Th th th th._ Nope. I can't _th_ay the_ ethh_ _th_ound at all.''

Edward started giggling then.

Alice looked annoyed.

Fuck.

''Where'_th_ Angela?'' Jasper swung his head around, as if the make-up artist was hidden somewhere he couldn't see in the small room.

Alice looked even more pissed. ''Angela is off to the store to get some new sheets for the final scene. Someone got wax on the old set.''

''Oh.'' Jasper looked sheepish, absent-mindedly fiddling with his loose tooth.

Edward's giggles wouldn't stop. Thank God he was being ignored. There was probably an element of nerves and frustration finally letting loose that made the laughing fit grow. He pressed a hand to his mouth, trying to be quiet.

''Ali_th_, what do we do then?'' Jasper looked to his director.

''Well, we can't do much for now. We resume the scene, but try to avoid S-words. Besides, you're going to be moaning and faking sex soon, so apart from ''Fuck that tight ass'' from Edward, there isn't much actual dialogue.''

They turned in unison towards Edward, who was collapsed against the lockers, both hands clapped to his mouth.

''Edward?'' Alice asked, freezingly.

''Ja-Ja_th_per ha_th_ a li_sth_p!'' He got out before dissolving into giggles.

''_Th_ut up.'' Jasper's eyes sparkled though. ''It'_th_ not funny.''

Edward didn't answer, shaking with laughter.

Finally he managed a loud ''Oh A_tth_pper! _Th_uck my hard peni_th_!'' before melting into giggles again. Jasper laughed too then, and Alice cracked a smile though she mostly looked annoyed.

''Ha-Ha. Now, how about we change the position?'' Alice asked.

Jasper nodded, looking around the small room. ''Well there'_th_ the ben_th_ here?''

Edward pushed himself away from the lockers, trying to ignore the humor still brewing.

He was going to have ben_th_ _th_ex. With Jasper.

The words just wouldn't stay down though, and he innocently asked Alice; ''You want u_th_ to have ben_th_ _th_ex?

Before cracking up again.

Jasper stuck his tongue out at him.

''Edward, stop or I'll make you have floor sex.'' Alice menaced.

Edward glanced at Felix who was pushing himself upright, then at the doubtfully clean tiles.

''Ew, yuck, no. I might get toe fungus on my balls!''

''Well, thanks man.'' Felix snarked, running a hand through his short spiky blond hair.

Edward didn't really know what to say, the man HAD been lying on it...

Edward looked to Jasper, only to find him staring intently at the cameraman.

''Jazz?''

Jasper's face was neutral as he asked Felix ''You okay there?''

Felix frowned, and hefted the camera to his shoulder. Edward caught a twist of black moving with the wiry muscles; a tattoo of some sort, curling around his biceps. It made Edward want to lick all of it. ''Yeah man, why?''

''You're… packing _th_ome heat there… Look_th_ fuckin uncomfortable.''

Edward's eyes swung to Felix's crotch. As did everyone else's in the room. The man was tenting his lightwash jeans, a sizable bulge obvious. Felix shifted his feet, not looking really bothered.

He shrugged. ''It happens. One of the perks of the job. Take it as a compliment. You two are fucking hot together, you spark off each other; I can practically see the chemistry.''

Alice interrupted.

''Right, now we're done admiring Felix's boner, can we get back to filming… please?''

* * *

><p><em>Don't panic! The rest of this is up already!<em>

_Grab a cold shower and a drink of water, and get to it!_


	27. Chapter 24: The Promise

_Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, but I call dibs on Titlight!_

_**Laverett** rocks as a Beta. Go on! Say it! L-A-V-E-R-E-T-T!_

_Oh and WARNING: NSFW NSFW NSFW. _

_REALLY REALLY REALLY** Not Safe For Work**. Or school. Or family brunch. Or Easter Egg hunts. Definately for Mature readers. You have been warned._

* * *

><p><em>[HCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHC]<em>

Edward obediently moved toward the bench, jerking his sagging dick as he did.

Jasper sat next to him and they both masturbated silently.

Long moments passed as Felix fiddled with some lights and Alice simply waited with her arms crossed. Once again, jerking off side by side had Edward battling a strong inclination to touch Jasper. He was sure Jasper would get suitably hard in no time if it was Edward jerking him. Or sucking him. Because Edward HAD done that before. And would again, hopefully.

Eventually, Jasper pushed at Edward's shoulder, bending him over the bench. Which reminded him…

''What about the clothing Al. Do I get naked too?'' Jasper asked.

''No.'' Alice shook her head. ''I want the vest on, and it will look weird without the pants. Just push them down.''

Jasper proceeded to do exactly that.

''Why am I always the naked one?'' Edward whined.

No-one answered, and Jasper moved into position, standing at the end of the bench.

Edward licked his lips, suddenly serious.

They were going to fake-fuck.

Ben_th_ _th_ex.

Finally!

Anticipation built again, as Jasper yanked Edward closer. Alice instructed Edward to place his knee on the bench, giving the illusion of doggy-style.

As the camera started rolling again, Jasper enjoyed the view of Edward's bowed form beneath him. He traced his splayed fingers down Edward's back, admiring the vast expanse of pristine muscle.

Then he dragged them harder, watching faint red streaks appear.

_Mine._

Jasper growled softly and lightly dragged his nails downwards.

Edward was milky pale, he marked so beautifully...

Jasper's head swam with the need to dig his nails in, for real. Watch Edward curl beneath him, hear him gasp and yelp in shocked desire as angry red welts appeared.

He swallowed thickly, instead moving his hands to knead roughly at Edward's ass. Fuck he wanted to bite it, leave a purple bruise.

_Mine._

He didn't though, that would certainly break the tooth.

It was getting difficult again. Jasper teetered between role-playing and his desires. He was walking a fine line and it was making him dizzy.

Fuck, his dick was hard.

Jasper was getting to the point where it was difficult to focus on anything but the need for friction.

Holding the heavy length by the base, Jasper dragged it firmly down to Edward's ass. He noticed Edward shudder beneath him. His cock screamed for more, so he travelled it along the creamy flesh, then tapped it rather quickly on the rounded part at the top of Edward's ass. He watched the curved globes, observed the dark line between.

Jasper suddenly HAD to see.

He needed to see Edward's asshole, that secret place where he ached to sink his cock. To be the FIRST to sink his cock.

Letting go of himself, he placed both hands at the crook of Edward's back, dragging them down, filling his palms with Edward's cheeks.

He let his thumbs move closer, running them into Edward's crack and eliciting a shaky moan.

Using his thumbs, Jasper spread Edward open, tugging on his hips to force him to arch his back. He could hear Felix breathing just over his shoulder.

''Oh God.'' Jasper groaned, husky. ''Edward, are you trying to fucking kill me?''

Jasper shuddered from head to toe; a tidal wave of desire surged, obliterating all else.

Jasper had to close his eyes, in an effort to contain it.

He was seconds away from pushing his dick into Edward.

Fuck preparations and virginities.

Fuck.

Long seconds passed, and Edward started to get worried. He'd felt Jasper spread him; a blush still covered his cheeks from the shame of being so exposed.

And now Jasper was just standing there; not moving or doing anything.

Edward twisted his neck to watch Jasper. His face was… fierce.

Jasper's eyes were pitch black when he opened them, the intensity causing Edward to forget how to breathe.

Fuck fuck fuck.

Jasper pressed his lips into a tight line and dragged a thumb down the center of Edward's crack, watching that shining expanse of skin.

He HADN'T expected Edward to have shaved his ass. That was… something you did with a purpose.

When you wanted to be fucked.

And Edward had done it.

For Jasper.

It made holding back all the more difficult. Edward wanted it. Really. And Jasper was dying to fuck him. He was having a hard time remembering why he couldn't just dive in.

Breathing hard, Jasper eventually unfroze from his self-imposed time-out.

He bent forward to lick Edward's delectable asscrack, and immediately got chided by Alice.

''No, Jasper! You'll bust the tooth. And it's vampire revenge sex. No loving ass-licking here. It's just too out-of-character.''

Jasper huffed a breath through his nose, complaining in a gravelly voice.

''You _th_ee? What Edward did? How do you e_ggth_pect me to re_th_i_th_t that?''

Alice didn't answer, and Edward held his breath. Jasper liked the asscrackshaving. Thank fuck! It had been worth it.

''I could cum, right now, just from watching Edward'_th_ a_th-crack_.'' Jasper continued pointedly.

''Don't you dare!'' Alice warned.

Jasper shrugged.

Of course he wasn't going to.

He just really_ wanted_ to.

''So you like my asscrackshaving?'' Edward asked, pleased with himself. He slurred the words together into one big phrase. Asscrackshaving.

''Fuck, Edward… ''Jasper trailed off, unable to elaborate. His dick pulsed ferociously and he stroked it one handed.

''What now?'' He asked Alice.

''Drag your dick through his ass-crack since you like it so much. You want lube?'' Alice was already digging through a black bag to retrieve it.

''And move your fingers over his cheeks. It looks really good with the black painted nails and the rings. Yeah, like that. Possessive.''

''Felix, you got that?'' Before anyone could answer, she threw a bottle of lube to Jasper, who caught it.

A few shivery cold drips later, that made Edward twist magnificently under him, Jasper firmly grasped his base again and dragged the head up and down Edward's ass-crack.

They both moaned at the feeling.

Jasper's head fell back as he accelerated his motions, watching his bulging head appear at the top of the crevice through heavy lids.

''Fuck that'_th_ hot. If only you could _th_ee, Edward…''

Jasper added some hip motion to his pumping, really getting into it. He grabbed double handfuls of ass muscle and pressed his hands towards each other, increasing the friction.

It was just like titty fucking. Except Edward's ass was a lot firmer. And less bouncy. Although Jizzper had known some fake boobs that were hard as basketballs.

Edward could feel Jasper's dick, pressing hard into his flesh in time to Jasper's grunts. It made his own cock complain and Edward began to jerk himself in time to Jasper's movements.

_Fuck-me-fuck-me-fuck-me-fuck-me._

As the chant started up again, Edward moved more. He pushed himself towards Jasper, arching his back and feeling Jasper speed up in response. He vaguely realized he was moaning quite loudly, but he couldn't for the life of him care to force the sounds down. Even if he did sound like a wanton whore getting titty-fucked.

_Fuck-me-fuck-me-fuck-me-fuck-me._

Jasper's whole body was tensing with the need to sink in for real. He knew he had to stop.

It was too much.

It wasn't enough.

Jasper swallowed thickly, unable to bear more slippery passes and resorting to slapping Edward with his dick again.

He managed a gritty ''Al? What do we do after? I…''

He trailed off, not knowing how to articulate the rest. I'm going fucking crazy. I want to cum. I want to fuck Edward. I think I love him.

''Just push it down and continue moving''.

''Push it down?'' Jasper was confused. Surely Alice didn't want him to jam himself into Edward's unprepared virgin asshole?

''Yeah, stick your cock lower, under his balls. Felix, are you filming in the angles we talked about? Make it look like there's real penetration.''

As Jasper hesitantly did what Alice instructed, a part of him died a bit in understanding of what having his dick parallel to Edwards and sliding along the man's belly meant.

Fuck.

He wouldn't survive this.

It became immediately obvious that there was NO friction to be had in a position like this. NONE. His cock bobbed and travelled tantalizingly along Edward's, but there was no real contact.

Just more teasing.

Grabbing hold of Edward's hips as he would if he was actually fucking him doggy-style, Jasper pumped faster and harder.

He soon corrected his earlier assessment. There was a _hint_ of contact, and Edward's balls dragged along his shaft; it was just enough to keep him rock hard and pumping furiously.

As Jasper moved, grunting noises kept escaping his tight jaw, and sweat soon covered his frustrated body.

Jasper was going to die from lust overload.

Edward, meanwhile, wasn't faring much better. Once he'd understood what Alice wanted, he'd groaned loudly and placed his hand back on the bench.

Fake fucking ben_th_ _th_ex indeed!

He watched his fingers as he clenched them hard, digging his nails into the wood in an attempt to distract himself from the bouncing of his dangling erection and its occasional brushes with Jasper's.

As the blond man got more into the fake fuck, moving as though he really was taking Edward's ass, Edward bent his head and panted desperately.

Fuck he was hard.

He wanted to touch his dick, soooo fucking bad.

''Edward, I want you to look like he's fucking you for real.''

''Uh, Alice, never been fucked?'' Edward's response was short and choppy, forced through gritted teeth.

''I don't know, hun, be creative. Maybe some open-mouth moaning. A bit of pain in the eyes? A lot of desire.''

Alice's instructions barely registered through the all-consuming FUCK-ME-FUCK-ME-FUCK-ME-FUCK-ME that resounded in Edward's mind.

He made an effort to focus his face some, hoping Alice got what she needed.

Edward found he couldn't resist for long though and was soon losing himself to Jasper's almost-rhythm. Edward burned, he fucking burned, deep inside his belly.

Jasper panted, a short question; ''Can I cum now?'' so obviously he felt it too.

''No.'' Alice's response was firm. ''I need more footage of facial expressions and I want Felix back on the ladder.''

Jasper nodded shortly, biting his lip and continuing his movements.

Besides, he couldn't really cum, not without real contact. Jasper was just edging until he could use his hand to finish off. He wanted to; really, really fucking bad. Tight tendrils of pleasure coiled in his belly, starting to creep into his thighs. Man, his balls hurt.

Obeying Alice's command, Jasper pumped faster, grumbling in time to his jerky moves.

Fuck.

Edward was shining with sweat and making all those splendid sounds...

Jasper couldn't wait to see what it would be like when they REALLY fucked!

Jasper bent to feel for Edward's cock, and maybe his own too. He could jerk both of them, together in his palm.

''Fuck; don't!'' Edward jumped and batted Jasper's hand away. He had cum too fast the last time they had scened, no way was he defying Alice again.

Jasper straightened looking pissed, and then he _slapped_ Edward.

Hard.

He savored the sharp red mark that appeared on Edward's ass and the yelp that escaped him.

Alice interrupted again. ''Good, Edward, put both knees up on the bench and we'll take that again.''

Jasper, however, pulled away.

''I need a break. Fuck!''

Jasper was panting like he'd run a race and he gleamed with sweat now as much as with make-up. There were two bright splashes of red on his cheeks. Edward smelled his cologne again, mixing with the scent of Jasper.

Edward straightened slowly.

Fuck he wanted to kiss him.

Edward watched Jasper chug gratefully at a bottle of water Angela handed him. The way he stretched his torso made his dick bob before him… Edward stroked himself vigorously.

Angie!

She was back.

And she quickly restuck the problematic tooth in place.

''Jasper?'' Alice asked then. ''You good?''

Jasper hesitated just a second before nodding.

''I'll do. I'm just fucking worked up.'' He had slowly been stroking himself all through break.

Not a good sign.

Edward knew what it felt like to have a dick so hard you just couldn't keep your hand away.

''I'd like Jasper lying down and Edward riding him.''

Jasper obediently lowered himself to the narrow wooden bench, and Edward straddled him, remaining awkwardly standing.

What the fuck was he supposed to do with the jutting purple penis that stuck up?

Seriously. It was a monument. A leaking lighthouse. A glowing purple sign advertising it's potential. What did Alice expect him to do with it? Edward was in danger of poking his eye out. Or poking somewhere else.

The thing cast a shadow on Jasper's tight stomach. It could double as a sundial. Actually, Edward was tempted to stick it somewhere the sun _didn't _shine…

''Edward, move forward. Closer to his stomach. Put his dick behind your ass and move back.'' Alice was unaware of Edward's internal ramblings.

Jasper winced and moaned at once.

Edward just moaned.

The position effectively placed Jasper's dick vertically up Edward's ass-crack.

Felix was moving around, filming their fronts and Edward's erection as it bobbed with his experimental rocking movements.

It was fucking weird.

Like air-fucking.

Edward tried to imitate the grinding motion that had seemed to work so well in the videos.

He rocked himself slowly, then a bit faster.

''Good! Good!'' Alice beamed. ''Edward, you're a natural! It's very convincing. Touch yourself. Move your hands on your chest, your belly… good. Now stroke your dick… Felix, are you getting that?''

Edward watched Jasper's face through half-closed eyes. He could feel the burning hot cock that pressed along his ass-crack. Jasper looked frustrated and sullen, but he still whispered.

''God, that's beautiful. You look amazing like that…''

It was not long at all before Alice had got all she could from the position.

Jasper wanked again as Alice tried to decide the logistics of the final scene that would lead to the cumshot.

She wanted Jasper, then Edward, to cum on Edward's chest.

Then Jasper was to bite his neck.

Alice really wanted the visual of the fake blood running into their combined cum apparently.

Finally, Edward was instructed to lie on the bench. But so far to one end his ass was practically falling off.

Jasper was positioned over him, and he held Edward's bent legs in his elbows. The position mimicked fucking again.

Fake-fucking ben_th_ _th_ex.

Jasper's erection curved underneath, along Edward's ass-cheeks.

Edward's hard-on rested heavy and swollen on his abs.

He was blushing again; he was most definitely not used to feeling so powerless and slutty!

Jasper took a few strokes to find the right fake angle and adjusted Edward's leg positions according to Felix's specifications, but soon they had a credible fucking scene happening.

Edward's eyes fell shut and he heard the bench creak. What if it broke? What if it dumped both of them on the nasty bacteria infested floor?

Edward realized he was so horny he didn't even care about virulent fungus infections. He just wanted the fucking shoot over so he could shoot.

Jasper's breathing was heavy and urgent.

''Edward, moan and stuff, okay? Don't just lie there, you're getting the fuck of your life!'' God, bossy Alice was fucking annoying!

Edward responded with a deliberately loud fake sound, before settling into more natural ones.

Jasper wiped the sweat from his face.

''Can I cum now?'' He asked again.

''Soon Jazz, soon. Just a bit more footage…''

Jasper nodded silently, his features marked with his nearing orgasm as he continued to fake-thrust fast at the air under Edward's ass. His fingers dug into Edward's thigh, hard points of desperate need.

FUCK ME FUCK ME FUCK ME!

Finally, Alice declared she had enough.

''Edward, prop yourself on one elbow. Jasper, stand by him and aim for the chest.''

Edward watched, fascinated, as Jasper finally stroked himself over him.

His black-painted nails curled around the taut shaft and Jasper sighed in relief. His hand moved fast and his abs clenched. Edward could smell the sweat that glistened on his abs. Jasper's eyes were glassy and open, staring blankly at Edward. He panted faster and faster, his face screwing up and his back arching.

''Ah! Fuck! I'm cumming! I'm cumming! Hargh! God! Yeeesss!''

Then his breath locked and his whole body shuddered as Jasper came.

Hard.

Fucking hard.

Just as he'd been hard.

Fucking hard.

All day.

Jasper came_ too_ hard.

Because he'd been too fucking hard, for too long.

White ribbons sprayed from the flushed head of his dick in a long arch.

Jasper's cum flew straight over Edward's chest to land on Felix's pant leg. A second spurt that he tried to aim better caught Edward across the shoulder and splattered on the floor.

Jasper's groan of ''fuuuuccckk'' was pained as he tried to focus despite his orgasm; the final spurts painted small lines and dribbles onto Edward.

''Hah, hah, _Fuck_!'' Still panting, Jasper turned wide eyes to his director. ''Fuck. Sorry Al.'' He shuddered with aftershocks, jaw slack. ''Fuck. Fuck.''

His Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed hard.

''That was fucking intense. I'm really sorry. I tried to aim, I just….''

''You overshot.'' Alice's voice was calm and frozen. In shock.

''I'd say that's a power-shot'' Edward felt the need to defend Jasper. ''Fucking impressive if you ask me! He jizzed at least two-three feet! Jizzper really owns his name!''

Alice drilled her black glittery eyes on Edward. It made him want to sink into the floor. At least it granted Jasper a few seconds to gather his wits, which was what Edward had wanted.

Pinned by the angry gaze, Edward quickly deflated and glanced away. And found himself staring straight at Felix's dick that was right at eye level for him. Edward could see himself reflected in the camera lens Felix held against his belly, and under it the prominent bulge still pushed against pale blue jeans.

''Now what am I supposed to do?'' Alice's question was aimed at everyone and no-one.

Angela had disappeared. Jasper was flushed and flustered, tucking his cock back into the jeans. Felix merely stroked absently along the side of the camera.

And Edward KNEW how to solve the impasse. He just wasn't sure he wanted it.

As Alice grew more and more agitated, Edward began to fear another screaming fit.

''Al…'' he began. ''You just want cum on me?''

Alice pinned him again with her frowny director's look.

''Maybe…'' Edward gulped. ''Felix could… I mean…'' Turning bright red, Edward stumbled helplessly for words and gestured toward the startled cameraman's zipper.

A stunned silence descended.

Alice eventually asked in a small voice; ''Would you?' '

Felix fidgeted, scrubbing a hand against the back of his neck. ''Well I don't know…''

Once Alice committed herself, she could be pretty persuasive. Her voice firmed as she started to plan it, growing excited.

''We can fix the camera on a stand, have it zoomed in already on Edward's chest. We'll edit the other shots so we see Jasper's dick explode, then cut to your cum splashing on Edward. Then Edward's cum, then the bite. It's perfect! Oh my God Edward, I love you. Felix, you have to say yes. I'll pay extra of course! ''

Finally, Felix nodded hesitantly, once.

It was enough.

Alice raced to get the camera tripod while Felix remained uncomfortably waiting with the two porn stars.

''So, um, any tips?'' He asked.

Jasper answered him, reassuringly instructing him on how to ignore the camera, dig into your fantasies, focus on your partner and all the basics.

Edward took advantage of the time to really_ look_ at the cameraman.

The man was tall and wiry. He was probably older than he seemed at first glance; Edward could see a few squint lines around his eyes upon closer inspection. A light golden stubble covered his sharp jaw and his lips were rather thin. Felix's eyes were green, a surprisingly clear shade of jade. There was a scar cutting through his eyebrow, and another along his chin. His short hair was gelled into spikes.

Edward caught a glimpse of the swirl of black marking his biceps. The tattoo was black, but it wasn't the startling shade of new ink; instead it was faded slightly into blues and greys. Edward wondered at the story behind it.

Felix wore a black t-shirt and pale blue jeans, soft and worn.

And tight black briefs Edward soon discovered, because in minutes everything was set up for the cum-shot, take two.

''Do you need to stand further away?'' Alice's tone dripped with sarcasm.

Felix shrugged, answering slowly; ''I don't think so. I'm not really used to doing this though…''

''Edward, you should jerk off too.'' Jasper's voice was returning to his usual serene tone. '' It'll be less uncomfortable for Felix.''

Edward obediently wrapped around his cock and started tugging.

''Don't you dare cum before he's finished and has the camera to film you!'' Alice ordered.

Edward nodded.

It felt good, after all the teasing and the fake-fucking, to really stroke himself.

Felix's dick looked quite delectable. It was rather gnarly with some thick veins twisting around the shaft. It wasn't crazy-long like Edward's, but it was _solid_, thick and flushed purple.

Felix's movements were astonishingly graceful. The unhurried motion of his fingers and the way he held himself were almost hypnotizing to Edward. He stared avidly, mimicking the strokes on his own cock.

Mmmmm.

It felt good.

But it could be better.

''Pass the lube?'' Edward asked.

Felix laughed, a deep sound of mirth. ''Pass the lube? Just like that? Ma, please pass the salt and the mashed potatoes and the lube?''

Edward retorted. '' You can keep the potatoes, I'll just take the lube!''

''Serious, guys, serious'' Alice chided as she handed them the tube.

After that, it was silent except for the wet sounds of lubed hands sliding with growing determination over throbbing cocks.

Edward could feel his orgasm starting to stir in his balls. He kept the pace anyway, chewing on his lips to try to keep quiet. Edward was embarrassingly vocal in his pleasure and he knew it. Surely Felix must be getting close?

Felix was rather quiet, but his breath was becoming uneven and his eyebrows were drawn together. His motions were shorter, faster; a blurring of fingers concentrating on his cock head.

Edward spied some color low on Felix's side as his movements made his t-shirt ride up. Another tattoo that Edward couldn't clearly make out.

''Close?'' Edward asked, almost a plea. It was a question for Felix, and a statement about himself.

Fuck.

Felix nodded, looking to Alice for approval.

''Whenever you're ready. And for the love of God, aim for the chest.''

Felix rose up on his toes, his tight abs clenching spastically. Edward held his breath.

''Okay, I'm there. Here I go… Ugh! Gah! Mmmmmmfffphh.''

Hot cum burst forth and landed perfectly. Wet searing stripes traced in long slanted lines along the top part of Edward's chest.

Watching Felix, Edward moaned in sympathy.

It was fucking hot.

It made Edward's own balls rise tight and throbbing, unrelieved. Fuck he wanted to blow. Fuck fuck fuck.

Edward tugged them down angrily, quivering with suppressed need and tried instead to concentrate on Felix's gasping shudders.

Thankfully, almost as soon as he'd finished, even though he still swooned with pleasure, Felix hurried around the bench and picked up the camera.

Edward waited, stroking himself lightly, staring at the jizz glistening on his chest. He stroked _too_ lightly, fuck fuck, feeling his need tighten more and more.

As soon as a red-faced Felix shouldered the camera, Alice instructed Edward to finish.

Clenching his fist, Edward pumped as he'd been craving.

Ffffuuuuucccckkk!

Edward's eyes closed and his body arched as his hips pushed into the movement.

''Yes! Yes! Oh God…''

Pleasure coalesced, all the little sparks of desire in his belly and spine and legs combining in a vast swirling ball that focused itself, drawing inward and then exploding in blazing pulses.

A hoarse guttural sound escaped Edward as he ejaculated all over himself.

The satisfaction rolled and heaved, gradually draining itself out.

Panting, Edward opened his eyes and observed the result.

He was _covered_ in cum.

A relieved laugh shook him, tired and giddy.

Alice was excited, this was exactly what she'd wanted.

''Quick quick!'' Edward was still dazed with orgasm and he had a hard time following the action as his director urged Jasper to lean forward and pretend to bite him.

The hot scent of Jasper and his closeness made Edward moan again. Jasper licked and sucked enthusiastically at his neck, creating aftershocks in Edward's spent dick.

''Okay enough, get out of the way before the spunk dries!''

Alice then had Edward tilt his head. He heard the faint crack as the plastic pods broke beneath her fingers and shivered at the feeling of the viscous fake blood running down from his collarbone.

A second snap and more rivulets traced scarlet streaks.

It was sick.

Sick and yet hot in a disturbing way.

Alice was right; watching the cum and the blood together... Edward shuddered, an uncomfortable heat in his belly.

''God.'' Jasper breathed in awe by him.

One last pod was broken and Alice shook it, purple drops spattering in random circles among the lines of red and now transparent white.

Satisfied, she stepped away.

Jasper reached an absent-minded hand, drawn towards the sight before he placed it back beside him.

''No No! That's a good idea!''

Alice nodded happily.

''We'll fade to black on your hand on him.''

Edward's head spun as he watched Jasper's black-painted nails trace smears through the liquid. His rings sparkled when he suddenly grasped Edward's nipple and twisted.

''Fu-uck!'' Was all Edward managed to choke out.

Jasper suddenly moved forward to kiss him passionately, all hot tongue and knocking teeth.

He pulled back almost violently.

''Enough.'' Jasper gasped, licking his lips.

Felix shook his head, trying to clear it from the spell they'd all been under. Alice was bouncing excitedly on her heels, congratulating them all.

''It was perfect! Good job!'' She piped.

Edward slowly pushed himself up, laughing incredulously.

''God, what a mess… I am just covered with… stuff.''

''Good thing there are showers right around the corner!'' Jasper's voice was friendly and relaxed, but his eyes still smoldered. ''I could use one too… I have glitter all over.''

Felix bent to start coiling cables and Alice helped him.

Edward and Jasper rapidly shed what was left of their clothing. Soon they were standing companionably under their respective sprays in the communal shower.

Sighs of pleasure and scrubbing hands echoed in the large space.

Finally, Jasper turned to Edward and said softly ''I still can't believe you shaved your ass.''

Edward smiled smugly. ''That I did. I'm serious. I really want to push this - he gestured between himself and Jasper - some more, see where it goes.''

Jasper was silent for a while, thoughtfully turning to face the water.

Finally, he turned to Edward. He looked determined. ''Alice is leaving tomorrow. We have a week…''

Edward nodded, but answered sadly ''I'm working Tuesday to Friday.''

At Jasper's raised eyebrow, he specified. ''Another job. Not a sex one.''

''Well then, maybe we could do something on Saturday.'' Jasper responded, running his hands through his dripping hair.

Edward flipped off the water.

''Yes. Sounds nice. Call me this week.''

He admired the play of Jasper's muscle as the man walked naked in front of him.

''And Jasper?'' he added ''You're fucking me on Saturday. After our date.''

Jasper halted, then resumed walking towards their clothing Angela had set out. His voice was gravelly as he promised.

''You bet I am…''

* * *

><p><em>Not responsible for any puddle-melting, spontaneous combustion, flat-lining, excessive self-fanning, husband jumping and underwear destruction. You were warned!<em>

_xxx_

_FrenchCaresse_


	28. Chapter 25: Homework Strokes and Pokes

_Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, but I call dibs on Titlight!_

_Send some hugs to my Beta Laverett to get her through troubled times!_

_Now, where were we? Oh yeah, recovering from the fake-fuck of the century!_

* * *

><p><em>[HCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHC]<em>

The next day, Edward lost himself once more in the noise and mindless work of his other job.

Unlike the previous week, he WASN'T conflicted and torn apart by the changes in his life. He was rather excited. After the mind-blowing almost fucking session, Edward was more than ever decided to see the actual act through.

He felt comfortable with Jasper.

And fuck did he want him.

It was a now-or-never time in his life.

He WAS growing pretty attached to Jasper, as a friend and not just as a cock.

But Edward still wasn't completely ready to call their relationship anything more than friends with benefits. Sex was something he knew. Well, almost. Butt sex was new, but the _no strings attached- fuck till the sun comes up_ aspect was safe territory. Edward was determined to protect his heart.

He was a bit surprised when Jasper called later that night, just to chat.

He was even more surprised at how easy it was to do so.

Edward and Jasper talked for several hours that night. It should have been weird to be acting like a teenage girl with a crush. On a man.

But it wasn't. It was comfortable and fun. They talked of little things, discovering the each other's likes and dislikes. A few, more profound, subjects slipped in. Jasper learned about Edward's cold and haughty parents, how their controlling disapproval was to blame for Edward being as prone to freak-outs as he was.

Edward gulped upon learning that Jasper's dad had been in the military and killed in action. His mom had then sunk into alcohol and drugs, and her abusive boyfriend eventually put a ten-year-old Jasper into the hospital and then foster care. Jasper's voice was tight as he made a lame joke, and then they were laughing at Rosalie's love of football.

It was with true regret that Edward eventually admitted he had to hang up as he needed to be up early the next day.

As he was sinking into sleep, a small satisfied smile played on his lips.

He hoped Jasper called the next day.

As he sank under, Edward briefly flashed on the fact that he was supposed to explore his own ass using the butt plugs and had been so busy yapping away that he hadn't.

Oh well, there was always tomorrow...

_[HCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHC]_

Except the next day, the same thing happened.

All day, Edward giddily anticipated Jasper's phone call.

Everything seemed brighter, cleaner.

Which was saying a lot, considering the perpetual dust and metal shavings that sank into everything at the shop.

Edward was tempted to skip his work-out, but eventually his obsessive side wouldn't let him.

He DID however run less distance than usual, and he sped through the reps until his muscles burned.

A quick shower and Edward was racing home. There was no message, but Edward saw Jasper's number in the missed calls list.

He debated returning the call. Would he look too eager?

He wasn't the one who'd made the first move.

As his dinner was heating, Edward realized that he WAS eager. And fuck appearances; the pleasure of sharing more conversation with Jasper overrode any manly hesitation he might have.

Jasper didn't sound freaked out to hear from him; he sounded relieved, much like Edward.

Once more, conversation flowed easily.

As the hours passed and Edward found himself in his bedroom, he realized he was staring at his sock drawer.

Fuck. It was already Wednesday.

And getting late.

If Edward wanted to get fucked on Saturday, and he really did, he had to get to prepping himself soon.

He didn't really want to hang up. But he should. And he didn't know how to tell Jasper so.

''Edward?''

Jasper was already on to the fact that something was up. Edward had been unresponsive to a particularly funny story about that time with a squirrel and a jar of mustard...

''Edward, what is it?''

''Jazz? Sorry, I… it's nothing.''

As conversation resumed, Edward was still bugged. He barely participated, humming in response to Jasper's question.

''Edward, tell me what's wrong.'' Jasper's voice was firm and a bit worried.

''I just… Jasper, it's not you.''

Fuck, that didn't sound good.

''Jasper, it's Wednesday. And I love talking with you. But I have homework to do.''

''Homework? I thought you were taking a year off from school to decide what you wanted to do?''

''Well, not homework homework. You know…'' Edward's voice was choking up and his cheeks burned bright red. Fuck.

''Sex homework. For Saturday.''

There was a stunned pause for several seconds.

Then Edward heard Jasper's sharp inhale, right before he asked nonchalantly ''Butt-plug homework?''

Edward nodded. Which was entirely stupid, since Jasper couldn't possibly see him through the phone.

''Ye-es.'' Edward's voice cracked and he couldn't say more, lying on his bed and staring at his sock drawer.

Jasper was silent too.

For a long time.

Edward would have thought he'd hung up. Except he could hear the quiet sounds of breathing.

Then the steady in-out rhythm was perturbed; Edward heard a creak, and some shuffling around. Some faint thuds. A soft sigh.

''Ja-Jasper?''

''Hmmm?''

''What are you doing?'' Edward asked in a small voice.

''Getting into bed.''

Fuck, why was that hot?

''Whu..why?''

''It'll be more comfortable, for later.''

''Later?'' Edward's neck scorched hot at the thought of later. Surely Jasper didn't mean what he thought he did?

''Edward. Have you used your butt-plugs before?''

A long silence before Edward squeaked out ''No.''

''So I'm going to coach you. It's been a long time for me, but riding a butt-plug is like riding a bike; once you've done it, you never forget.''

''Like riding a cock?'' Edward blurted before he could censor himself.

After a beat, Jasper said slowly ''Yeah.''

There was an awkward silence. Edward toyed with a loose thread on his blanket. Jasper was quietly breathing, until Edward heard the soft but unmistakable clink of a belt buckle.

''Jasper?'' Edward asked just as Jasper asked him ''Are you hard?''

''Um…'' Edward picked furiously at the thread. ''No?''

''Well, it would be better if you were.'' Jasper sounded quite sure of this.

So what could Edward do, except to reach tentative fingers into his pants?

He inched them in, sighing when he touched soft skin.

Edward slowly slowly began to curl his hand around his cock. He was blushing furiously, and he concentrated on trying to keep his breathing neutral.

As his erection grew, the lack of room in his pants eventually convinced Edward to unzip them.

Edward listened to Jasper's soft breaths in his ear. Savored the occasional hitches and almost-moans. He imagined Jasper, lying on his bed, stroking the hard dick Edward had enjoyed so much yesterday.

He suddenly realized something.

''Jasper?''

A hum answered him.

''Do you still… are your hands… do your nails still have nail polish?''

''What? No.''

''Oh.'' Edward couldn't keep the disappointment out of his monosyllabic response. He tugged faster.

''Liked that, didn't you?''

Edward nodded, remembering the striking image. His dick jumped in his hand, so warm.

Jasper laughed gently. ''Kinky fucker…''

They stroked for a while then, listening to the muted sounds of pleasure the other made. It wasn't weird anymore. It was… friendly phone sex.

After a while, Jasper asked, somewhat breathlessly.

''Are you hard now, Edward?''

Edward was hard. Edward was undoubtedly hard. Edward was really comfortably hard. It was quite pleasant, and even more so imagining Jasper in the same state.

So Edward answered ''No.''

Jasper chuckled. ''I don't believe you. You're hard Edward, you're moaning into the phone with your strokes.''

''I am NOT moaning.'' In fact, Edward had been very carefully stifling the moans that piled up in his throat. He thought he'd been quite successful too.

He moved his hand away from his hard dick, rolling his balls between slim fingers.

''Edward, why do you want to pretend you're not hard?'' Jasper asked. His breathing was faster, and it… jumped. Edward just knew he was stroking furiously.

He HAD to bring his hand back up then, and mimic what he imagined to be Jasper's moves.

''Edward?''

Fuck. Jasper wasn't just moaning his name; he'd asked him a question. Why didn't he want to admit he was turned on?

''This is nice.'' Edward's voice was choppy with the strength of his jerking off. He traced his other hand lazily down his belly, feeling how tense it was as he kept the furious pace on his cock.

Jasper laughed softly. ''The butt-plug will be nice. You'll see.''

There was a loud creaking, and Jasper's sounds of pleasure stopped.

With a sigh, Edward took his hand away from his protesting dick.

''What are you doing?'' He asked sullenly.

''Moving on to the real purpose of this. Although I really do enjoy jerking off with you… You're going to try the butt-plug. Now get Alice's kit out of your nightstand.''

Edward heard more creaking, and the sound of Jasper moving around.

''Sock drawer.'' He grumbled.

''Socks drawer? What are you talking about Edward?''

''The butt-plugs aren't on my nightstand, they're in my sock drawer.''

''Oh…'' Jasper was a bit unsure what to do with this information. ''Well get them out.''

''Yeah, yeah.'' Edward's dick bobbed stiffly in front of him, and he rapidly shed the rest of his clothes. He had to put the phone down to rid himself of his t-shirt and heard Jasper's tinny voice asking him ''Edward? Edward? What are you doing?''

''Just getting naked, God, keep your shorts on…'' Edward rethought his comment.'' Actually, it would be better if you left them off. Or whatever.''

Edward finally opened his drawer and retrieved the package. His socks stared at him in arrogant disapproval so he hastily shut the drawer. They kinda reminded him of his parents, in their prim well-ordered haughtiness. Woe was the sock who lost its mate. Or had a hole for the big toe. It was immediately shunned by the select community.

It was decided. The next day, Edward was going out and buying rebel socks.

On purpose.

And sticking them right in the monochrome drawer.

Hah!

That would show them!

''Okay, got it!''

Edward threw himself onto his bed, bouncing a bit as he landed next to the BUTT BUDDIES ANAL TRAINING SET.

A thought suddenly occurred to him.

''Jasper…'' Edward blushed furiously and stalled.

''Yes?'' Jasper asked, and then he waited patiently.

After a long silence and some more nervous thread handling, Edward managed to say'' If-if I'm…. shouldn't I… I bu-bought… I got some bottles to ku-clean out, you know? And since I'm going to be pu-putting the plug… I don't want any shiit…''

It was not the most coherent explication. But it was the best Edward could do. Geez, being gay was a lot more humiliating then being straight. With a woman, there were no complicated mechanics issues to address… cleaning, prepping, stretching, shaving.

Although a shaven girl was nice. Edward was getting sidetracked at the thought of jungle-bushes. A little was fine. But if a girl looked like road-kill down there… Ewww…

Jasper's voice was calm and soothing when he answered Edward. He made sure of it. No need to make him even less comfortable, even though Jasper's ears were hot too.

''You got enemas?'' He was more than a bit surprised at Edward's boldness.

Edward nodded, which of course Jasper took as a yes. It was obviously a ''yes'' kind of silence.

''That's good. But you don't really need them for just… personal play.''

Edward huffed, remembering the index finger incident. He hoped he'd never feel the urge to acid-purify Jasper's penis…

''Seriously, I mean, its good for real fucking and stuff. But if you use it every day… It will wash out the good bacteria in there and you can get irritated and infections and shit. But if it makes you feel better, please go ahead. I'll just wait here, stroking my dick.''

Edward had swung his legs off the bed to head to the bathroom, but he froze at Jasper's words.

A loud moan echoed in his ear, and heavy panting.

FUCK!

That wasn't fair! And Jasper was playing with him, he didn't make those sounds… As Edward hesitated, he suddenly heard squishy noises, a steady pff-pff-pff that caused another groan.

''Jazz?'' His voice was tight.

''Much better with lube'' was the lazy answer.

Fuck fuck fuck. Of course now Edward's dick was hard enough that he NEEDED to stroke it.

Suddenly, a trip to the bathroom seemed much less enticing. The distant possibility of maybe needing to clean his butt-plug was eclipsed by the want to start the fun NOW, with Jasper.

''Fine.'' Edward huffed, reaching for his dick. ''But if I have… nasty stuff… anywhere, you will owe me. Owe me big.''

Jasper laughed, not really seeming impressed. Or maybe it was because he was still stroking his cock.

For a few minutes, there was no sound on the line except for heavy breathing.

''So…'' Jasper asked again. ''Are you hard Edward?''

He didn't wait for an answer, adding ''Let's get this party started. Put some lube on your finger.''

Edward groaned. Jasper's directive tone was so hot.

He shuddered, one last second of rationalizing and hesitation, before giving in and doing as instructed.

''Okay.'' Jasper's voice was rougher.'' How are you right now?''

''How am I?'' Edward wasn't sure what he was supposed to answer. ''Um, hard?''

Jasper chuckled darkly.

''Sweet. But, I meant, are you on your bed? Standing up? On your side? Your back?''

''Oh. On my bed. Sitting on the edge.''

''No good. Lie on your back for me.'' Jasper's voice commanded again, and Edward obeyed without thinking too much.

He didn't WANT to think.

HE WANTED Jasper to make him push the anal plug in.

He wasn't sure he'd ever get around to it without that extra kick.

Edward scooted up the bed, and reclined against the pillows. He stared at his dick, swollen and flushed. He watched his treacherous index finger, gleaming with lubrication and ready to explore some more.

With a huff, Edward bent his knees and traced his finger behind his balls, then pushed it unceremoniously into his tight hole.

The moan that resounded alerted Jasper that something was up.

''Edward?'' Jasper's voice was strained.

Another loud moan answered him, as Edward slowly worked his finger in and out.

''Edward, what are you doing?''

Edward stopped moving his finger long enough to be able to put together a coherent answer. His anal muscle clenched spastically around the intruder.

''I'm fucking my asshole with my finger, like you said.''

The strangled sound Jasper made was most satisfying. It made Edward want to say more dirty things to him, just to hear it again.

''Fuck… Edward.'' Jasper breathed. ''You didn't waste any time! I thought I'd have to talk you into it…''

He made a strange startled noise, and then continued. ''…Does it hurt? Are you moving your finger?''

Jasper's voice was deep with desire, and it made Edward's dick throb.

This was so wrong, yet so _right_.

''It doesn't hurt, at all. I'm not really far in though. I stopped moving my finger so I could talk to you.''

''Okay...'' Jasper's voice was definitely breathless. ''Do you want me to direct you again? Or do you want to do the rest on your own?''

''Talk to me, Jasper.''

Edward's voice wasn't pleading, not at all. He just sounded like that because he had a finger in his ass.

''Push your finger in, darlin'. Slowly. Push it in nice and deep! Go slow. Go really slow…''

Both Jasper and Edward moaned.

''How does that feel?''

Edward pulled his finger out and repeated the process. Just so he would know how to answer Jasper. It had nothing at all to do with the way he was discovering pleasure in places he never expected.

''It feels nice... All warm and soft.'' Edward grunted a bit as his finger bottomed out and his curled third finger pressed against his rim. ''It's kinda amazing how my ass just swallows it all.''

Jasper moaned.

The sound was really natural, not seeming at all faked. So maybe Jasper _did _make sounds sometimes.

When he wasn't filming.

Except the movies where he was bottoming.

After another small sound, Jasper continued to coach Edward. ''Take your finger out, put more lube and now you're going to move it in and out.''

Edward did as instructed. Soon he had a steady rhythm going. He panted, listening to Jasper's short breaths through the phone.

MORE.

One finger suddenly wasn't enough. Edward needed more. He pumped his slim digit harder, twisting it a bit.

''Jasper.''

''MMmmm?''

Jasper sounded distracted.

''I'm ready for more. Please.''

Edward _longed_ for more. His dick jumped on his belly at the thought and Edward realized he'd neglected it. He'd been so focused on what his other hand was doing….

Resuming a slow masturbation, Edward bent his legs further to gain easier access to his backside. This was nice.

Up. Down.

_In. Out._

Up. Down. _In. Out._

Up. _In._ Down. _Out._

Up.

_In. _

Squeeze the head of his dick at the rush.

Down.

_Out._

FUCK!

This was more than nice…

Edward _really_ needed more.

He suddenly realized Jasper hadn't said anything in a while.

''Jazz?'' He asked, stopping his motions. ''You still there?''

''Yeah.'' Jasper's voice was sinfully raspy.

''You aren't saying anything.'' Edward accused, beginning the slow strokes and pokes again. It was getting easier to coordinate it all.

''Just listening to you… You are so hot, do you know that?''

Edward blushed at the compliment, and ignored the heat in his gut at Jasper's words.

''So what do I do now?'' Edward complained after a beat.

''Well…'' Jasper thought about it. ''Do you prefer a second finger? Or do you want to try the plug?''

''I… I don't know.''

Edward didn't know.

He really didn't.

He just knew, deep inside, with a primal ache, that one finger wasn't enough. ''You decide.''

''Okay.'' Jasper's voice was gentle when he added. ''We'll do the plug. It's harder to work two fingers into your own ass than to push the plug in. And that way, my fingers will be the first to stretch you, on Saturday.''

Edward groaned.

That sounded like a promise.

It was weirdly romantic and hot.

A bit possessive too.

And somehow that was surprisingly hot too.

Maybe it was just Edward who was too turned on!

And Edward REALLY wanted Jasper's fingers in him.

Saturday…

After a few more seconds of stroking, Jasper instructed Edward to take the smallest plug.

There were a few confused moments, during which Edward tried to use his teeth to open the hard transparent plastic wrapping. And having lubed fingers resulted in him dropping the package, fumbling on the floor, banging his head on his nightstand and subsequently losing the phone.

Some breathless swearing might have been uttered, and Jasper might have had to hide the phone under his pillow to stop the sound of his laughing from further irritating a frustrated Edward.

Eventually, after a trip to the kitchen and a battle with the scissors and the package, Edward was once more on his bed and picking up the phone.

He jammed it between his shoulder and his ear as he poured lube on the turquoise jelly plug.

It was pretty, all rounded and curvy. Ergonomic.

An ergonomic butt plug.

Aerodynamic.

And thankfully rather slim and short.

Edward wondered what it would feel like.

Well, he was about to find out!

''Put the phone on speaker.'' Jasper's voice sounded fucking strained again. It had that unnatural edge to it, like his teeth were gritted or something. It had been that way since Edward had picked up the phone again after finally freeing the toys. ''You'll need both hands.''

Edward carefully placed the phone on the pillow by him. He didn't hesitate at all to lie on his back and curl his legs. The position had stopped feeling so foreign and unnatural.

Anticipation made his stomach tight.

''Hold your cheek with one hand and the plug with the other. Press the tip of the plug to your asshole. Get a good grip, the lube makes it slippery.''

Edward hissed.

Jasper laughed softly. ''And fucking cold.''

Edward managed a strained laugh but, the insistent presence of the toy ready to breach him stifled it quickly.

''Ready?'' Jasper's voice was serious too. ''Push the plug in.''

Edward grunted.

Fuck, it wasn't going in.

He pressed some more.

It slipped through his crack and nearly fell onto the bed.

''Not working…'' Edward told Jasper, annoyed.

''Position it again. Don't try to just shove it in. Apply steady pressure. Imagine it's my cock.''

Edward closed his eyes and pictured Jasper as he'd been towards the end of the locker room scene.

_Towering over him, all tight muscle and stormy eyes..._

Edward moaned.

''Let me in.'' Jasper's voice was right by his ear, seductive. ''Bear down, Edward. Push towards the plug as you press it in.''

Edward gasped as it worked; the tip entered him.

Fuck!

''Don't clench!'' Jasper warned. How the fuck would he know that was exactly what Edward did?

''Exhale. Good. Breathe. Push it in some more. Don't stop till it's all in. You can do it! It'll get better when it settles...'' Jasper's voice was encouraging.

Edward's asshole burned. He maintained pressure on the hard foreign object. He could feel his rim stretching.

Fuck; that was definitely uncomfortable.

Edward bit his lip. Fucking fuck fuck FUCK!

Just when he thought about quitting, suddenly the plug was in. The widest part was over and with a slip it nestled quite naturally inside Edward.

Edward went still then, just breathing.

Fuck.

He'd done it.

Edward, (formerly) straight porn-god, had a butt plug in his ass.

And mercifully, the burn was fading as his body got used to it.

''Edward?''

Jasper! Edward had forgotten about him!

''It's in.'' Edward breathed.

''God, that's hot. I'm so proud of you. How does it feel? ''

''Fucking big! ''

Jasper laughed. ''You took the small one, didn't you?''

''Yes.'' Edward answered truthfully. ''I can't imagine how we'll get your porn-star dick inside me Saturday. Maybe we need a new plan. Or a smaller dick. ''

Jasper chuckled. ''You'll be surprised. And anyway...''

He turned serious. ''I don't want to hurt you. Ever. So if it doesn't work on Saturday, don't stress. I'll take you next Saturday. Or the one after that. Or if it takes a month or two… I'm okay with whatever, you know?''

'''Kay. Thanks.''

There was an awkward pause. So Jasper returned to the subject at hand: sex homework.

Butt-plug sex homework.

''Right, Edward; are you touching your dick?''

''Uh, no?'' Edward had actually forgotten about his erection as he focused on the feelings in his ass.

''S'okay. Do it now.'' Jasper's voice was authoritative again.

Edward began to stroke himself again, sighing at the surprise pleasure of the extra lubrication on his fingers increasing the sliding. Jasper's earlier comment sure was correct; it was much better with lube!

Edward really got into it, using both hands.

One he kept curled around the base of his penis, sometimes venturing to his balls; the other traveled in a graceful motion over his shaft. The resulting pleasure soon erased any lingering discomfort in Edward's ass.

Now, he just felt comfortably full.

His hips moved a bit, cheeks clenching as his dick pushed through his fingers. It made the butt plug shift inside him.

Edward clenched his muscles consciously, eventually finding just the right movement to send a wave of bliss rolling around his hips and make his cock pulse.

After a satisfying amount of time, and once Edward found the right combination of moves, the burn of orgasm began to build.

It was then that Jasper spoke again, reverberating from the phone on the pillow.

''Feels good, babe?'' He asked.

Edward's response was a rather eloquent groan.

Jasper laughed darkly. ''It'll be even better when we get you something big enough to reach your prostate…''

Then his voice snapped, firmly.

''Edward. STOP. Get up.''

''Hmmmm…. What?''

Edward's thoughts were foggy with sensation.

''Sit up, Edward.''

''But this is nice…. I could cum like this...''

Edward wasn't whining. No, he just sounded like that because he had a plug up his ass.

''I know.'' Jasper's voice was short. ''But I want you to feel how it's like to move around with the plug inside.''

Move around with the… fuck, Edward would never have thought of that!

With a sigh, he let go of his throbbing cock and gingerly pushed himself to a sitting position.

Jasper was right.

Edward bit his lip and huffed air through his nose to stop the embarrassing noises that wanted to escape.

Every little motion caused the plug to shift inside him. Suddenly, it seemed huge again, and so… unyieldingly hard.

By the time he was sitting on the edge of the bed, Edward was hot all over and out of breath.

He managed a shaky _fuuuuccckk _that made Jasper laugh.

''Now get up. Walk around… Go into your kitchen.''

Jasper's breath caught and Edward could hear sounds of movement, so apparently Jasper was preaching by example.

Edward stood and began to walk gingerly down the hallway.

He felt rather ridiculous.

His erection was comically enlarged, swinging with his tentative gait.

Edward was acutely aware of the plug as his legs moved.

He wasn't really sure if the feeling of being stuffed was pleasant or not; it reminded him uncomfortably of needing to take a dump.

Biting his lip, Edward made his breathless way into the kitchen.

''Sit at your table.'' Jasper's voice was choppy again, tight.

Edward sat on the edge of his large pine table.

And groaned rather loudly.

Fuck.

Sitting was much better than walking!

The plug pressed itself deeper inside, the sensation going straight to Edward's cock. Edward rocked his hips experimentally, to the sound of Jasper grunting through the phone's speaker.

Edward moaned, finding just the right grinding motion and combining it with the pelvic muscle clench from earlier.

FUCK!

Edward's eyes rolled up in their sockets. A long shiny ribbon of pre-cum dripped from his throbbing cock-head.

Edward repeated the motion, not even caring that he was once more groaning loudly. Fuck that felt good. He rocked his hips enthusiastically, feeling orgasm perking its head deep in his gut.

_Keep doing that,_ it purred. _More. Faster. Stroke your cock. Hmmm yes._ It promised a major blast, building in his thighs.

''Edward?'' Jasper's distant voice sounded confused. ''What's that banging?''

''Uh,'' Edward didn't slow his pelvis movements, concentrating on the inner urgings of his pleasure beast. ''The table.''

''The table?'' Jasper sounded even more puzzled.

''It's hitting the wall when I move my hips.'' Edward clarified, annoyed at Jasper for deterring his attention from his rising orgasm.

''Why would the table hit the wall when you move your hips?''

''I don't know; maybe it's a bit loose, or it's too close to the wall, or it doesn't like me sitting on it, who cares? This is really nice.'' Fuck, Jasper was annoying.

''You're sitting on the table?''

Jasper's voice was strangled and surprised enough that Edward stopped his movements.

Well, almost.

He might have pressed down against the table-top in just the right way to make his dick pulse, slowly smearing the resulting pre-cum around his head..

''That's what you said...''

''No, I didn't. I said sit AT your table.'' Jasper argued.

''Whatever.'' Edward didn't want to fight over semantics. His hand slowly moved up and down again.

''You're sitting on your table, naked, with a plug up your ass?'' Jasper's voice dripped with disbelieving hunger. It made Edward's stomach attempt some kind of double-backhanded-flip.

''Yes.'' He confirmed.

''Fuck that's hot...'' Jasper's dreamy response reminded Edward of the sound from earlier.

Suddenly, he wanted to push Jasper some more. Edward wanted to flip the tables, pun intended, like he'd done a couple times; drive Jasper crazy with desire for Edward…

Edward carefully lay on the table-top, shivering at the cold slickness of it. He scooted back, wiggling (and making the plug wiggle, yum) until he had enough room to bend his knees and place his feet on the table too.

''Edward?'' Jasper sounded hesitant and small, almost as though he didn't want to know what Edward was up to.

''I'm lying down on the table for you.'' Edward informed him. This time it was _his_ voice that was deep and seductive.

And it was Jasper who groaned.

''Imagine it. I'm lying on top of my table, naked… for you, Jazz. My dick is so _hard_.''

Edward raised his head to stare at the purple length, watched a slow drip roll onto his abs.

''Fuck, it's leaking. I wish you could see Jasper… I'm so turned on. I'm going to have to stroke it soon.''

Shaky panting was his only response.

Edward swallowed hard, dizzy with arousal.

''I have my feet up on the table. I'm spreading myself for you.'' He did so as he spoke, pressing his knees to his chest.

Jasper made that strangled sound of pure need again. Yes!

Edward should have felt victorious, but he was caught in his own game. This was so hot.

He snaked an arm under his bent thigh, reaching for his ass and pressing against the plug.

Fireworks sparked inside and he shuddered, groaning loudly.

''I'm pushing on the plug, Jasper.'' Edward wheezed. He did it again, struggling to continue speaking. ''I wish you were here.''

At the thought, Edward couldn't help but wrap a hand around his aching dick and start pumping. The relief was huge. ''God, Jazz, I'm jerking off here and I _really_ wish you were here with me. You could stand over me at the table, are you stroking your dick? And you would move your hands down the back of my thighs. Would you play with my plug Jasper?''

Edward panted. ''Would you pull it out? Would you put your dick inside me?''

Jasper moaned loudly enough for Edward to register.

''Fuck, yes. Fuck me, Jasper.'' Edward begged, rocking into his fist. ''God yes. Harder…I'm going to cum, Jasper, are you going to cum with me?''

The declaration shook Jasper enough that he managed to break himself free of the fantasy fog.

''No.''

Fuck, Jasper's voice was almost a whimper. Not good. He cleared his throat and firmed it.

''Edward, stop.'' Much better, if still too breathless. Probably because Jasper's dick insisted that he finish it off. The visual of Edward's pale limbs spread out on the darkened kitchen table, just waiting for his cock to fuck him... Jasper groaned.

''Jaaa-sspperr.'' Edward's shrill complaint at least proved that he wasn't so far gone he was incoherent and not listening.

''I don't want to stop.'' But even as he spoke, Jasper could hear Edward's voice growing clearer, more aware.

''Please.'' Jasper wasn't begging. No; he just sounded like that because his dick completely sided with Edward.

''Why?'' Edward was angry.

''I really want us to get to the next size plug. We have so little time…''

Edward interrupted. He sounded even angrier.

''I thought you said time didn't matter, that you'd wait for me!''

And immediately, Edward felt bad for the comment. It was mean and vicious and he was absolutely convinced Jasper wouldn't pressure him for more.

But fuck, a man had his limits! He'd been teased out of his mind at the fake shoot; couldn't he, for once, just jerk off and blow like a normal person?

Jasper didn't even sound mad at Edward's vindictive comment.

He explained softly. ''I didn't mean only for you. I meant for me too. It's been a fucking long time, and if I want to be ready by the shoot on Monday…''

''You…what?'' Edward sounded definitely more alert. And not sure he heard correctly.

''Come on, Edward, surely Alice told you she wanted the final threesome to be a real threesome? With actual three person sex? She wants me in the middle of you and Bella…''

Silence answered him.

When Edward finally spoke, his voice wasn't squeaky. Not at all.

He just sounded like that because he'd been on the edge of ejaculation, and then Jasper had flipped the world upside down.

Fuck.

Edward was going to fuck Jasper.

Edward tried it out in his head. He'd been so busy thinking the opposite all week, it sounded odd even in his silent thoughts.

Then Edward realized something.

He froze.

Surely not.

Edward tried to think back through the rest of their phone conversation, but it was too blurred by his own sensations.

''Jasper?'' Edward asked. ''Does that mean you put… that you have a butt plug too?''

''Yeah.''

''Like… right now?''

''Yeah.''

''As we speak? You're sitting naked on a chair with a butt-plug up your ass and a hard dick? Like me?'' Edward's voice pitch had been growing higher and higher as the words added.

He stopped, or he would be a soprano soon!

Or a helium balloon.

''Yeah…''

Jasper chuckled at Edward's reaction. That was a squeak. Most definitely. But Jasper wasn't about to tell Edward that.

''Fuuccckk. But I thought you didn't bottom?''

Edward's question was legitimate. Even if he was back to sitting on the edge of the table and he was very slowly grinding his ass in just the right way he'd discovered.

''I…'' Jasper hesitated.

Edward waited, biting his lip and making sure the tabletop didn't thud into the wall as he moved faster.

''I don't, usually. Edward, I've only bottomed for one guy, and he was… someone special. But watching you and how you've dealt with all this… I've been holding back, pretending I'm gay-for-pay. I'm fucked up, Edward. It's all muddled for me, and mixed in with the drugs too.''

''But what we have, you and me… It's special too. And fucking scary. It's not easy for me, my instinct is to protect myself. And I… I have a hard time opening up to people. But you pushed me right out of my comfort zone the second time we met. You called me on my bullshit. And I owe you for it.''

Jasper trailed off. Then added softly. ''I really want to see where our relationship goes too, like you do. It's not fair that you do all the compromising. Fuck, two weeks ago you were convinced you were straight; tonight you're prepping to have me take you! I guess you've put me in my place, with my supposed acceptance and mental hang-ups. If you can change, I can too... It's only fair.''

After another few seconds, Jasper concluded.

''I suppose I should thank you for pushing me…''

Stunned silence was Edward's only response. Finally, he stuttered ''I… Jesus, Jasper… I du-don't know what to say… I wasn't expecting… You… Me…''

He stopped, still too overwhelmed and trying to process the information.

''Fuck, I can't think when my dick is rock-hard and I have a plug in my ass!'' was Edward's flustered conclusion.

Jasper burst into laughter.

So did Edward.

Jasper eventually admitted ''You don't have to say anything. I just thought you should know… Now how about we finish off with that next plug, huh?''

''Sounds good…''

Walking back to the bedroom was… interesting. Edward was even more aroused than before, and he'd gotten used to the feel of the plug. He still felt awkward, but the pleasure was quickly over-riding it.

Edward's knees shook and his head spun. He realized he wasn't breathing, and leaned against the wall for a few gasping seconds.

Fuck.

When he finally settled on his bed, Edward could smell the sweat that shone all over his body.

He squeezed his dick hard, trying to force himself to patience.

''Pu-push the plug out.'' Jasper's tone was desperate and winded.

Exactly like Edward felt.

Edward grunted.

Fuck.

After being unable to insert it, now he couldn't seem to get it out! The base was flush to his asshole, and he was wound so tight his insides were clenching spastically around it. Not to mention that it was slippery with lube.

FUCK!

Finally, both men were flopped on their beds, gasping at the need for more.

''Take the next one.'' Jasper's voice could hardly be called authoritarian. In fact, he was close to begging.

Edward's hand hovered over the plugs.

Suddenly, having Jasper doing it too changed his perspective.

''Jazz… Jazz, take the big one.''

''Edward… ''Jasper tried to complain. ''It'll hurt you. You've never… we shouldn't… ''

Jasper understood Edward's earlier words about his dick distracting him.

Jasper_ knew _it wasn't a good idea. But his cock's throbbing made it too hard to remember why.

''Please, Jasper… it's so, hot, thinking of you with that big plug in your ass… You're going to cum so hard! Please, please let's do it!''

Fuck, that was unfair. Edward pleading was just too much.

Jasper caved. ''Fine. I'll do it. But you don't have to… In fact, you shouldn't!''

Edward squealed happily.

And Jasper just knew he was going to take the big one too.

Fuck.

Lubing it up, Jasper's fingers trembled badly.

After a few difficult moments, Jasper finally got the plug in.

FUCK! The thing felt HUGE! Jasper couldn't seem to breathe.

The tremble spread to his thighs as the burn began to fade a bit.

Jasper's hips wanted to move.

He'd forgotten, before, but now he remembered. The big plug was just brushing that spot inside.

Chest heaving, Jasper waited.

He was seconds away from exploding. He knew that as soon as he shifted and the plug pushed hard against his prostate, he was a goner.

''Edward?'' Jasper's voice slurred with lust.

''I was just listening to you… That was so fucking hot!''

The sound changed and Jasper guessed he'd put the phone down.

''My turn.''

Edward prepared the plug. As he finished, his fingers dripped with lube so he pushed them into his asshole.

Two of them.

They went in easily, and felt really good as he pumped them.

Then Edward got to the serious business of inserting the biggest plug. Even though the thing was still a lot smaller than Jasper's cock.

He stared blankly at the ceiling, concentrating on Jasper's earlier comments.

Bear down, steady pressure.

There, the tip was already in, easy as pie.

Push it the rest of the way…

FUCK! Edward made a garbled sound of pain and pleasure.

The thing was long. And wide!

Fuck fuck fuck he burned. Gritting his teeth, Edward persevered.

Edward could be quite stubborn when he wanted to.

And he'd decided he was taking the plug.

MOTHERFUCK!

And then the damn thing was in. But Edward still hurt.

He was splitting in two.

Taking a huge gasping breath, Edward wiped the involuntary tears from his eyes.

As the singing in his ears quieted, he was able to hear Jasper's concerned voice.

''Edward? You okay man?''

''Fuck. '' Was all he answered. Edward wasn't about to tell Jasper he was going to be the first person to die from an exploded asshole.

''Edward,'' Jasper urged, ''sit up a bit. So the plug pushes…''

Edward shouted. Loud and guttural and totally caught by surprise.

''…prostate…'' was Jasper's explanation.

Edward still hurt. He thought.

He couldn't really tell through the overwhelming waves of pleasure that swelled deep inside him. It was unlike anything he'd ever felt.

But it was fucking GOOD.

Instinct took over. Pushing himself to a half sitting position with one hand, Edward arched his back and threw his head at the sensations. He rocked, hips grinding, sending electricity up his spine.

Colors splashed behind his closed eyelids, an abstract canvas of pure desire.

Edward was sure he was making all kinds of weird sounds again. Really loud ones. But he couldn't stop them unless he stopped moving and that was just out of the question.

The explosion that was building was going to be MASSIVE.

When Edward wrapped a hand around his erection, it really started.

Pleasure ripped and sparked, scattering through Edward's helpless body.

It wasn't concentrated only in his dick.

Although, his dick pulsed fiercely.

No; that new place inside Edward did things to the pleasure, spreading it out into a greater diffused tide. Edward's whole belly blazed and he was barely conscious of the semen shooting from his cock.

In fact, he shot fucking far, splashing up his chest all the way to his shoulders. If Edward's eyes had been open, he would have been impressed to see one particularly enthusiastic spurt land on the bedspread OVER his shoulder.

But Edward's eyes were firmly closed. And the colors had stopped flashing, replacing by focused darkness.

As Edward slowly came down, he remembered something.

Fuck, his asshole hurt.

Still.

Although, not as badly as before.

And the pain was quickly erased if Edward so much as shifted his hips, creating more sparks in his exhausted body.

Fuck.

Lying down, Edward carefully removed the plug.

That time, it went easily, a huge sigh of relief escaping his slack lips.

Holding the rubber object gingerly by its base with two fingers, Edward let it drop to the floor by his bed.

Just in case it was… contaminated.

Edward thought he heard the toy roll around some, before stopping somewhere underneath him.

Just great.

Later, he would have to deal with dust bunnies glued to the lube on his plug.

Edward wondered in that scattered post-orgasmic way if Jasper had a dust allergy.

JASPER!

Edward retrieved the phone where it had fallen between his pillows and flopped back bonelessly.

''Jasper?'' He asked.

Jasper hummed in response.

He sounded… content.

Relaxed.

Not at all embarrassed by what had turned into surprisingly hot phone sex.

Butt plug phone sex.

Edward lay on his bed, feeling sleep creep up. He shivered.

''Jasper? I'm going to go to bed… I have work tomorrow.''

Edward's words were slow and placid.

''Wait! You still haven't told me what your other job is!''

''Tomorrow. Or Saturday. Right now, I just wanna drift off…''

''Okay.''

Jasper felt a strange warmth in his chest, almost tenderness, as he added. ''Good night Edward. I'll talk to you tomorrow.''

''Mm-mmm. 'Night. Bye Jasper…''

With a sigh, Edward turned the phone off.

He stared at it for a while, but his thoughts were too mixed up and relaxed.

He was going to speak to Jasper tomorrow. It filled Edward with… some mushy emotion.

A sudden thought had him sitting bolt upright.

He was going to fuck Jasper on Monday!

As he settled for sleep, Edward wondered if he'd dreamt it all.

If he had, it was a fucking hot dream.

Jasper with a butt-plug… Edward wondered idly what color it was; maybe they had matching butt-plugs.

Then he cringed at his inner homo. Jesus, it was bad enough when couples had matchy outfits. But matchy butt-plugs? Edward felt a strong urge to scratch his balls and drink milk straight from the carton, to reassert his manliness.

Edward's only regret over the surreal phone call was that he'd been so caught up in his own release he hadn't listened to Jasper's at all.

Next time, maybe.

Or in person.

The thought of their date filled Edward with that same sweet anticipation.

Fuck.

He really had to be careful.

He was seriously falling for Jasper.

* * *

><p><em>Now, a <strong>serious Author's Note<strong>. I have been updating weekly for the past six months. But several factors have conspired to make it impossible for me in the next month or so. I am aiming for **every two-weeks** or so._

_1- My old hard-drive died, so I lost all my advance and I have to re-write the story._

_2- My boyfriend got sent on a construction site up north and I am a single Mom for a month. That means the only time I can write is when my kid is asleep. Which is also the time I have for doing housework, meals and laundry._

_3- Weekly updates are hard on my Beta too._

_4- There are some really important chapters coming up, and I refuse to botch the quality for the sake of going fast. And my chapters have been getting longer and longer. Which is fine, I'm going with the flow of the story. But a 30 Word-doc page chapter like this week is a lot more work than a 10 page one..._

_Oh, and as for replying to reviews, well, apply 1 to 4 as well. I love you all for taking the time to comment, and I'll find the time to answer. Sometime. _

_AND DON'T BE WORRIED; THIS STORY WILL NOT BE ABANDONED! IT'S 3/4 DONE AND I'M STILL JUST AS INSPIRED!_


	29. Chapter 26: Only Assholes

_Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, but I call dibs on Titlight!_

_Oh my, it's been a while! Thankfully, all the crazy upheaval in my RL is almost settling down... I don't think I'll be able to do weekly posts just yet, but I'm aiming for every two weeks or so._

_**PLEASE READ THIS SERIOUS NOTE:** One of my other stories was pulled without warning by Fanfic for not respecting the rating system (M is NOT equal to R). And it contained rather more romantic and unkinky sex (though femmeslash) compared to THIS story. So if Headward suddenly disappears, know I am looking for a back-up site to post on. In the meantime, cross your fingers..._

_As always, the fabulous busy-**Beta LAVERETT** did an amazing job!_

* * *

><p><em>NOW, do you even remember what this story was about? How about a quick re-cap: <em>Pornstar/meet Jasper/blow-out/make-up/threesome/Dominatrix Victoria/Emmet and a tree/dripping wax/ cuddles/ Hotel Room/ Almost gay/ Falling in love/ Asscrackshaving/ fake-fucking-benth-thex/ Shower promises for Saturday/ Buttplug homework phone-sex.

Oh and I nearly forgot the stupid birds and a taxidriver.

_Or you could just re-read chapter 25._

_Do I even need to add; **RATED M.** Contains more first times for_ _Edward._

* * *

><p><span>THURSDAY.<span>

The day after Headward Cullen ( Maybe King of Pussy?) desecrated his asshole with a plug for the first time, he walked funny.

As he hobbled around at work, the guys poked fun at him.

Little did they know how close to reality their comments were...

Edward really _did_ walk funny.

He didn't walk funny because his ass hurt.

No, his ass was perfectly fine.

Apparently, there was no permanent damage caused by having jumped straight onto a plug the size of Texas.

Edward walked funny because when he got up in the middle of the night to pee, he discovered that the butt-plug HADN'T rolled under his bed. It had treacherously camouflaged itself right at the spot where Edward set his right foot when he got out of bed. It waited in ambush, for an unsuspecting Edward to step on it...

Then it squish-rolled.

Making him lose his balance and nearly fall. In a series of (almost) graceful modern-dance moves, Edward avoided crashing to the floor, but he sprained his ankle.

Even though he iced it religiously, then wrapped it in an elastic bandage (Edward had an anally complete first-aid kit) he still limped the next morning.

But even a throbbing ankle couldn't erase the smile from his face.

Edward Cullen was finally realizing something. (Well, other than the fact that a plug in his ass could feel really nice... And that he needed to go sock shopping.)It seemed that Jasper was getting drawn into their almost-relationship too. That thought warmed his heart.

And he was going to fuck Jasper on Monday!

_THAT_ thought warmed his cock.

Edward suddenly felt the urge to buy Alice a huge bouquet of flowers. Sure, she had nearly driven them insane during the last scene they shot. Fucking annoying bossy Alice. But she was gone for the moment, and when she got back, Edward was going to plant his dick into Jasper. Fucking _brilliant_ bossy Alice.

While Jasper had _his_ cock deep in Bella.

God.

Edward shuddered and tried to turn his thoughts to more innocent subjects, before he got an erection at work; this would have been quite inconvenient and embarrassing. Not to mention uncomfortable.

Edward's erections rarely went unnoticed.

That's what happened when you had a porn-star dick.

Edward wondered what he and Jasper would be doing for their date in three days. Jasper had been smugly mysterious; promising fun times, new experiences and that he would take care of Edward... All these comments did little to help Edward's erection-avoidance tactic. And they didn't help him in the least as he attempted to figure out what activity Jasper had planned.

Other than fucking Edward.

_Fuck._

NOT GOING THERE! Edward scolded himself. At work here! Busy busy work. Busy busy non-erection inducing work.

__[HCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHC]__

After work, Edward got home early. He couldn't go for his usual run, because of his bad ankle. So he decided to actually cook a real meal.

Edward rather enjoyed cooking-when he had the time.

He especially liked the measuring and mixing, all the precise amounts adding up to something wonderful. It pleased his OCD side immensely. Edward was quite a good cook- as long as he had a recipe. He was incapable of throwing stuff together and whipping up something great. But so long as he had his measuring spoons and a scale, Edward liked cooking.

He was humming along, happily cracking eggs and nearly jumped out of his skin at the phone ringing.

Already?

Indeed, it was Jasper. Staring at all the (almost) done food, Edward suddenly didn't want to enjoy it alone. He wanted to watch Jasper's face, see the sparkle in his eyes and the way his long fingers held a fork. So he (graciously) blurted an invitation to dinner.

His ears might have burned red and then he'd got stuck stammering when Jasper had made lewd comments on what the menu might be. But in the end, Jasper was on his way and Edward had a few minutes of panic.

Jasper was coming over!

JASPER WAS COMING OVER NOW!

A minor freak-out occurred when the reality of the spontaneous invitation sunk in.

What if his apartment wasn't perfectly clean?

Was his bedroom floor butt-plug free (the things were a health hazard.)

Edward wasn't spontaneous. Edward HATED spontaneousness.

Wait, no; that was wrong. Spontaneoussivity?

Ah, right, spontaneity.

Well, Edward was exactly the opposite.

Unspontaneous.

Inspontaneous?

Fuck! Edward was just plain chicken, if he admitted the truth.

What if Jasper didn't like the food?

Or the color of the walls (which were white)?

Was that cushion on the couch crooked?

As Edward dashed to fix the offensive accessory (as fast as his sprained ankle allowed), the buzzer rang and Edward changed his course to stop the annoying sound. The first few seconds after Jasper arrived were somewhat awkward. They both stood in the foyer, aware that this was a big step, anticipating, hoping for a nice time and just generally feeling out of place. What did they do?

Hug?

Kiss?

Shake hands?

What was protocol for greeting your maybe-boyfriend-already-a-lover-who-incidentally-was-the-same-sex-as-you-and-so-had-turned-you-gay ?

In the end, Edward formally offered to take Jasper's coat, and then he leaned forward just as Jasper stuck his hand out. What resulted was a hybrid shoulder pat- arm clasp- awkward boy hug thing.

''Jesus, we're ridiculous.'' Jasper laughed. ''Let's just get it over with and kiss, okay?''

Edward smiled, but before he could answer, Jasper's lips were pressed to his in a chaste kiss.

Edward allowed himself to melt into it, leaning forward and kissing him again as the tension melted. Soon their lips parted and their tongues shyly greeted each they floated into the kiss in the foyer, all the weird awkwardness dripped away.

Hmmmm.

Edward would happily kiss in the sunny entranceway all day.

Except his dick was starting to perk at the increasing intensity of Jasper's tongue-swipes. Edward contracted his thighs and sucked in his belly in an effort to position his semi more comfortably hands-free. Without thinking, he stepped closer to Jasper, not really pressing himself against the man but feeling his body heat.

Not that Edward wanted to press himself against Jasper.

Not at all.

And he hadn't just moaned at the thought either.

Finally, needing to breathe, Edward pulled back. Jasper wrapped his arms around Edward's waist, holding him in a loose embrace.

His eyes were muted grey, as he softly mumbled ''Hi...''

''Hey.'' Edward's answer was rather breathless and definitely not awkward anymore. ''Come in.''

Maybe there was something to be said for spontaneous invitations after all.

Jasper smiled and followed Edward for a quick tour of the loft.

''What's wrong with your foot? Are you okay?''

''Yeah, just a sprain. I'll be better soon.'' It was absolutely NOT necessary for Edward to explain HOW the sprain occurred. Surely it was written on the package that butt plugs were dangerous if stepped on...

As Jasper followed Edward into his home, he didn't know what to do with himself. He felt oddly intrusive, observing how Edward chose to live.

The apartment spoke of money, but in a subtle way. It was located in one of the sought-after neighbourhoods, and was vast and filled with enough windows to own the title of ''loft''. The furniture was simple, but obviously good quality.

And white.

There was a lot of white.

On the walls, the couch, the funky modern lamp. In fact, the only gleaming piece of black immediately drew Jasper, like a magnet.

He carefully trailed long fingers along the shiny black baby grand.

''You play?'' He asked

Edward nodded mutely, turning a soft shade of pink that made Jasper want to lick him all over.

After a beat, Edward cleared his throat, deciding to share himself some more.

''My mom moulded me into the perfect little piano prodigy for her pride.'' Bitterness dripped from his tone, then gradually softened, taking on a dreamy quality as Edward relaxed into introspection.

''She never expected me to beat her at her game; I enjoy it for real. I really do. It started with me being plain stubborn, trying to show my Mom she couldn't break me. I kinda liked the precise repetitions too, again and again until it was perfect; I drove my nanny crazy!'' Edward chuckled, remembering.

''The thing is, if you practice enough, you really _can_ get good. I challenged myself, getting better, taking on more and more technical pieces. It helped that I had the best teachers. After a few years, I had acquired the basics and that's when playing changed for me. I obsessed with learning the right keys, the right sequence, the building blocks of a new piece... You know, all the music we make is built with the same eight notes, in different pitch? It's kinda awesome how the way you assemble them can create infinite possibilities...''

Jasper watched Edward's faraway look with a warm sense of awe. He couldn't remember ever seeing Edward with his features so open, almost boy-like in innocence. The cynical hike of his eyebrow, the fidgety-jerky movement of his freak-outs, the determined jut of a defiant chin, were softened in pure amazed enjoyment. This was a _happy_ Edward, serene and passionate at once. It was another side of Edward, one that Jasper certainly hadn't expected to find. A pure shining gem of Edward, hidden in the rough facade he gave himself. It made Jasper want to cradle it preciously, to stare for hours.

It made Jasper fall a bit more for this surprising man.

Edward, though, was still gushing on, oblivious to Jasper's reaction to his heartfelt torrent of words. ''After a while, it's almost as if you absorb the music, so that the notes are ingrained in your subconscious. Then it stops being mechanical and precise and you can dance with the piece, make it sing with emotion. You stop thinking of the notes to play the music, I guess...''

Edward moved to join Jasper by the shining keys, running a tender hand along the slick wood. ''Love, passion, anger, sadness... You just pour it all out. It's amazing. And you're not alone. You seduce your audience; make them follow you, immersed in music... You start slow, lightly. You tease them, sweep them away with emotion you awaken in them. Mold them until they forget everything but the music. Until they hold their breath, riding higher, higher, higher... You play for them, play with them; wind them up, a dance of enticement. It's rather like sex, actually...''

Edward's voice was a bit rough too, remembering. It gave Jasper shivers. All that contained passion...

''You draw it out,'' Edward continued dreamily. ''Going higher, crescendo, a lover's touch. Wanting to just pour it out but you _make_ yourself wait, play slower, softly, innocent notes caressing before you push even further, till it's unbearable. More and more intimate, building the melody and counter melody, letting the music fill you until you can't take it anymore, till you can't breathe and you just HAVE to let the notes tumble out of control... Taking your spectators with you...Freefalling...''

Edward's eyes sparkled as he tried to explain, staring absently out the window at the darkening skyline. A dark strand of hair fell over his forehead as he braced himself on the piano, jutting elbows and absent look slowly returning to normal as he wound down.

'' It's absolutely glorious... Magical. '' Edward shook his head and focused on Jasper with a strange expression.

''That didn't make any sense now, did it?''

''Um...'' Jasper hesitated, then scrunched his nose and admitted ''Not really, but it was beautiful... You're beautiful... I hope you play for me someday.''

Edward blushed.

''Maybe.'' He answered noncommittally.

Edward was NOT suddenly thinking of piano sex. Not at all.

And neither was Jasper, most definitely not.

Conveniently, a timer dinged in the oven and it broke both of them from their not-piano-sex fantasies.

_Don't get cum on the keyboard._

That was the primordial rule of piano sex. Cum on the keyboard was... sacrilegious. Edward shuddered, heading for the inviting yellow light of the kitchen. Cum on the keyboard was... just wrong. Edward decided then and there that if he ever had piano sex with Jasper, he'd just have to swallow all the cum.

It was simple, really!

DON'T GET CUM ON THE KEYBOARD.

_[HCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHC]_

Edward's lasagna turned out perfectly. It bubbled and smelled divine, all golden delicious.

And Jasper proved to be quite handy at making a salad; even if he DIDN'T measure anything and HE got bits of lettuce on the counter and the tomatoes weren't perfectly square. It was a rustic, hearty, colourful masterpiece, and Edward wasn't even bothered by the piece of cucumber peel that stuck to the cabinets. Well, maybe a bit bothered, but not enough to be REALLY bothered.

This was another revelation; Edward could deal with Jasper in his space and the subsequent disorder that ensued!

Maybe it was the sunlight, or the food, or the domestic straightforwardness of it all; Edward and Jasper relaxed into friendly companionship. It was pleasant, and vaguely comforting, to simply watch each other.

Edward noticed how Jasper moved confidently, despite never having been in his kitchen before.

His strong fore-arms rippled as he twisted the wine-opener, and his pink tongue licked a stray drop from his palm.

Okay, Edward forgot to blink at that one. Jasper's tongue was... gah.

And Edward was really fucking gay if he noticed _fore-arms rippling!_

Jasper noticed how delicious the food looked, how every counter was meticulously clean and how Edward rearranged the forks to a perfectly perpendicular position.

Then it was time for FOOD FOOD FOOD!

Munching and groaning and the occasional slurp were the only sounds then, as two hungry cave-men attacked their meal. Edward sent a silent prayer to the Gods of Italian cuisine; lasagna was so much better then half-raw slab of mammoth. And much less likely to contain dangerous bacteria and the odd bit of fur.

As plates gradually became visible and FOOD FOOD FOOD chants were relegated back to dormant primal states, Jasper and Edward struck up bits and pieces of conversation again.

After a particularly long silence, Edward looked up to find Jasper simply staring at him.

Staring at him in a most definitely not innocent way.

''Jazz?''

''Yes?'' Jasper's eyes still burn burn burned too bright.

''Umm... What are you thinking?''

''Just... remembering.'' Jasper gazed at Edward, then the tabletop, then back at Edward. ''You know... on the phone the other night...''

Jasper trailed off into silence, then calmly,_ significantly_, braced his palms on the shiny pine and moved it with one strong push.

_Thud_, protested the table, or maybe it was the wall.

Either way, it was a noteworthy thud. It brought back rushing memories of similar thuds, and of what exactly Edward been doing (naked and spread open on his back) on this VERY TABLE to cause them.

And Jasper just wouldn't look away as the echoes of thuds, remembered and current, faded. Jasper stared at Edward in a way that made it quite clear he wouldn't mind a replay.

Tension built, stifling.

Then Jasper apparently decided that Edward was uncomfortable enough and tried to lighten the mood.

''I kinda got the impression we were having a different sort of menu when you called. I was hoping for...cream of Edward. Or ass of Edward.''

He raised his eyebrows in a ridiculously salacious manner, eye-perving Edward in an exaggerated way. It was purposely silly.

And disturbing.

Disturbing, because it was starting to make Edward's dick plump, even if Jasper was imitating his most creepy pervy uncle. Jasper wished he had a mustache. If he'd had a mustache, he'd have stroked it for sure. There was just something inherently weird about stroking your own mustache...

''Stop grossing me out with your menu suggestions! It's not even funny...''

Edward's voice did NOT wobble.

Jasper abandoned his imaginary mustache stroking and turned serious. ''I'm not kidding, Edward. I want you, so so bad; that it'snot even funny. I'd eat you out in a second if you wanted it. Right here, on the table, if you want.''

Edward stared at the mostly empty plate before him, grimacing in embarrassment. ''I get that you want me. But you can't be serious? Licking someone's ass is just... yuck. Surely no one really wants to do that, except gay porn stars!''

''Well lucky for you, that's exactly what I am...''

The comment hung suspended in the sunny kitchen, letting the faint sound of a neighbor vacuuming their car buzz in the background.

Then Edward and Jasper crossed gazes and suddenly the room burst with laughter. It grew from quiet chuckles to full-out billowing gusts, reigniting if they so much as looked at each other as had happened before. When they finally calmed, Edward took the opportunity to grab some plates and start clearing the table.

So it was some minutes later, with Jasper to his elbows in suds, that the conversation resumed. (Jasper had insisted on helping with the dishes and couldn't be expected to know which cupboard to return them to once clean, so by default he'd been designated washer. Which was fine with Edward, even if Jasper didn't turn the water hot enough; everyone knew that hotter water made dishes dry faster.)

''Seriously Edward, how are you dealing with the newness of being gay and all? You seem fine, but then you're kinda hard to read...'' Jasper sounded quietly concerned, and it prompted Edward to answer honestly.

''I'm pretty fine, I guess. I mean, obviously it's a shock and all, and sometimes I forget I'm gay, you know? But I've never been ''normal'' my whole life, so this is just an extra shade of weird.''

Edward stared dismally at his checkered blue dishcloth. ''I actually find it harder to deal with the whole ass thing than the whole gay thing...''

''Seriously, I wish I was a lesbian instead of a homosexual man. It would be so much simpler! I can deal with craving pussy! But assholes are so gross and dirty and revolting I just... it's going to take a lot of adjusting for me to adapt to only assholes in my future...''

Jasper laughed, looking pensive. ''Somehow, it doesn't surprise me all that much. It just... fits with you. Not many people are more bothered by ass than having to coming out!''

He washed a plate or two, before continuing. ''But I was serious earlier. I really DO want to rim you. If you... prep and stuff, it's not dirty or gross. And it's so hot, seeing how it can affect someone. The sounds, the wiggling, the begging... Ugh. I want to see you undone like that.''

Jasper shut up then, red-faced and doing his best to ignore the tent he had successfully pitched in his pants; without a single touch too. Just imagining Edward was enough. He dumped the cutlery into the sink with a metallic din.

Edward still looked unconvinced, disbelief bordering on disgusted.

Suddenly deciding that words were not enough, Jasper came to the only logical conclusion; he had to prove his point to a sceptical Edward. It was time for action.

Tonight.

On the table.

Okay, maybe not on the table, which might not be the most comfortable place for a first time ass-licking. Even if the kinky visual would feed Jasper's masturbation for months or maybe years.

Rising to his full stature, Jasper pitched his voice low and commanding as he stared Edward down.

''Go. Now.''

''I... what?''

Edward was getting goose-bumps from Jasper's dominating stance, a nervous clenching in his middle. He didn't fully understand what Jasper wanted, but instinctively, he wanted to do it. He CRAVED it. Whatever it was. If it made Jasper so predatory hot, Edward wanted in.

Well, Edward's DICK wanted in. His mind was feebly trying to put together some form of protest, but kept getting stomped on by baser instincts.

''Go to your bathroom. Prep using the bottles you told me you got.'' Jasper's voice was calm. But Edward noticed his white-knuckled grip on the edge of the sink.

''Umm, now?'' Edward maybe squeaked a bit. It was understandable. It sounded like he was going to get fucked _tonight._ Probably on his kitchen table. ''Ar-are you sure?''

Edward's logic was still trying to raise the point that getting fucked, tonight, by Jasper was a bit premature and that Edward might regret it. That was the moment where Edward's dick caught on to what might actually happen. The roaring surge of lust blended with remnants of primordial fear and made him light-headed with adrenaline.

''God, Edward.'' Jasper's voice shook. ''I'm not going to fuck you tonight.''

He swallowed. Then took a big stuttery breath, filling his lungs, and squashing the primal need to take, take, take Edward's timid yet willing ass. The combination of emotions written on Edward's face, the eager innocence and open hesitation, made it hard to think.

''Stop looking like that or I will.'' Jasper threatened.

He didn't growl. Not really. Maybe just a bit. He couldn't help it. Edward was going to be the death of him.

''I'm going to show you how good a rim-job can be.'' He motioned towards the bedroom with soapy hands. ''Go. I'll finish up in here.''

_[HCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHC]_

As Edward busied himself at yet another first, Jasper rapidly finished the washing up.

How was he supposed to get Edward relaxed enough to actually enjoy himself? He had no doubt Edward would feel pleasure, if only he didn't over-think everything!

Jasper felt he was getting a pretty good grasp of the twisting of Edward's personality. He knew that this was a crucial step for his lover. Just the fact that he was in the bathroom right now, prepping, was such a big leap from the horrified straight haughty pornstar he'd first met. Having come so far, in such a short time commanded respect (although admittedly, there had been some bumps and freaking-out along the way).

Jasper saw more, as he watched Edward reinventing himself. He saw curiosity. Vulnerability. A certain trusting eagerness that was all the more precious because Edward had placed it in Jasper's hands.

It made Jasper very nervous; what if he ruined Edward? Ruined Edward's perspective on anal sex. But more than that; ruined Edward on pseudo-gay relationships? Jasper was decidedly lacking in serious relationship experience. The one man he'd been close to was long gone and the terrible hurt had been Jasper's saving grace.

Shaking his curls, Jasper turned his thoughts back to the present. It was no use getting lost in depressing reminiscing when there was a virgin ass to lick!

_Priorities, Jasper, priorities!_

Spying the half empty wine bottle, Jasper backtracked to the kitchen and retrieved his glass. Inspired, he took a second one for Edward.

What was the classic way to mellow someone for sex?

Booze and a massage!

Jasper filled both glasses with the rich Shiraz, delivering one to the floor by the bathroom and knocking to inform Edward of its presence.

A muffled but decidedly grateful response confirmed Jasper's idea that you couldn't go wrong with the classics.

He sank into the couch, sipping his wine and enjoying the buzz of anticipation in his veins.

''Hey! Thanks, Jasper!'' A rather red-faced Edward had appeared, and was gesturing with his mostly empty glass.

Jasper smiled lazily, patting the couch beside him and then confusing Edward by getting up as soon as Edward sat down. ''Wait here a minute.'' Jasper instructed. He briefly disappeared, coming back with the wine bottle and Edward's I-pod.

As Jasper poured the last ruby drops into Edward's glass, Edward thumbed through his playlists, finding just the right one; the one filled with slow, sensual blues. Music swelled through the air as Jasper settled behind Edward, both men kicking off their shoes and resting snuggled together along the couch. It was a quiet time, a moment of enjoying togetherness; a pause, a breath caught before the big leap.

It was... comfortable.

Jasper's breath puffed by Edward's cheek, his palm tracing slow circles on Edward's biceps. The feeling of Jasper all along his back, his smell wrapped around him, made Edward want to kiss the blond man. But that would have required sitting up and unglueing himself from his current slouchy-close position. So instead Edward sipped his wine, awareness of Jasper coiling slowly tighter deep in his middle.

This was an interlude.

Which reminded Edward...

''Shouldn't we... I mean, I just... What if we wait and I...''

Jasper rumbled beneath him, a cheerful bass sound that vibrated in his chest.

Jasper's fingers began to trace through Edward's hair, blurring his thoughts.

''SSsssshhh. It's okay. We have a while. Just relax... Enjoy... I'm going to make you feel so good...'' He promised quietly.

His caresses in Edward's hair were soothing, smoothly running through the chaotic mess. Edward's head fell back, eyes slitting half-shut like a cat. If he could, he would have purred as Jasper began to stroke his scalp. The heaviness was growing in his belly again, sexual arousal pooling.

But for the moment Edward was content to ignore it, revelling in Jasper's magic touch on his head.

Time floated, and it was a while later, when the wine was gone and the urgency was building too high to ignore, that Jasper pushed at Edward's heavy torso. ''Come on, Edward. Get up.'' Jasper succeeded in rousing Edward to a half sitting position.

''Let's take this to your room before you fall asleep on me.''

And suddenly, the awkwardness tried to make a come-back.

It was hindered by the floaty state Edward felt himself in because of the wine. And then by the sight of Jasper dressed in only black boxer-briefs. Edward fidgeted in the doorway to his own bedroom, feeling shy and out of place.

Thankfully, Jasper seemed to know what he was about.

''Do you have any oil?''

''Oil? Um, that's a bit last-century, don't you think? I have plenty of lube...''

''No, silly, massage oil. I'm going to give you a massage, help you relax.''

''Oh.'' Edward hid his embarrassment at reacting like a hundred-year-old vampire virgin by fishing through his box of toys until he retrieved a small bottle. He didn't look over his shoulder to see if Jasper was checking out what was hidden in the sizable box. He could always blame it on his profession.

Then Edward was sent to get a towel to protect the fluffy (white) comforter. And Jasper took such a long time lighting the bedside candles so that Edward was fully naked and mercifully lying on his stomach when he finished.

''Don't get any ideas!'' Jasper grinned, teeth flashing in the suddenly cozy room as he gestured at the candles. ''Once was enough for me! Unless you get out your dominatrix gear and stilettos, forget it!''

''Would you really do it if I cross-dressed ?'' Edward's voice was NOT a tad eager and sudden images of Edward's slim form cinched into Victoria's corset, pale face marred by slutty scarlet lipstick did NOT suddenly make the room temperature climb by about ten degrees.

Jasper wisely didn't answer, instead moving to kneel over Edward.

''Just relax. I'm going to massage your back for a while.''

He moved to sit on Edward's thighs, feeling him tense immediately at the contact.

Jasper leaned forward, to whisper hotly in Edward's ear ''It's okay. Trust me. Besides, I've still got my shorts on; you're perfectly safe.''

Edward laughed into his pillow and after the first few oiled strokes of Jasper's strong hands, he really DID relax.

Jasper's touch was soothing as he confidently dug into Edward's shoulders and upper back.

''God, you're tense.''

Edward didn't think he was meant to answer Jasper's comment and anyway, he was starting to dissolve into a relaxed blur where thinking up an appropriate reply and actually forming it seemed impossible.

Jasper diligently worked the knots from Edward's back, smiling at the grunts and sighs he caused. He could feel the tightness slowly giving way beneath his patient assault.

Sometime later, when Edward was heavy and loose beneath him, Jasper began to notice other details.

The soft glide of supple skin beneath the scented oil. It was a bit hippy-smelling for Jasper's taste, reminding him of flowing tie-die dresses, smoking weed and free loving, but it provided the most delightful glide.

Breath rushed from Edward's lungs when Jasper put some of his weight into stroking his sides, palms pressing the hard curved ribs.

Soft hairs crackled where their legs shifted together as Jasper moved.

Copper highlights were shifted in Edward's messy hair by the candlelight.

Mysterious shadows starkly marked golden shiny skin, thrown by a hard pointy shoulder-blade or the rounded bumps of his spine.

Edward was so strong. Muscular. Definitely not feminine.

This was the point when Jasper's cock, which had been obediently soft during the more clinical beginning, began to swell and grow. The soft fabric of his boxers tented as arousal began to climb again.

Slow and careful, Jasper began to trace lighter strokes; sweeping hypnotically up and down Edward's back. Gradually, he inched his splayed fingers lower and lower. Bit by bit, stroke after stroke, a barely perceptible descent.

Like a glacier.

Unstoppable.

It worked too; Edward didn't tense much as Jasper's fingers moved ever lower. Into the vulnerable dip of his lower back. Then the plump beginning of his ass curve. It might have taken an hour, or a day, or a moon cycle, but eventually Jasper was concentrating all his stroking on Edward's ass.

And Edward was moaning into his pillow, eyes shut; uninhibited in the comforting darkness.

Edward's body was saying, ''This is good, more, yes, finally!'' And his mind had blurred somewhere along the way, disconnected in his relaxed state. Thoughts foggy, Edward simply felt.

Felt Jasper's strong caresses move slowly lower. So, so slowly. So slowly that he couldn't protest; what was the harm in a few more millimeters?

Until somehow, Jasper wasn't stroking his back anymore. His hands kneaded Edward's ass.

And it wasn't wrong.

Or freaky.

It was natural.

And good. And if some remote part of his brain knew where Jasper was heading and all the reasons Edward didn't like that idea, it floated too distant and powerless to interfere.

Edward was starting to get aroused again. And so was Jasper. Edward could hear it in his heavier breaths, in the forced patience of his movements.

Edward's cock was pushed down, between his legs. It was trying to get hard but the position wasn't very conductive to erections. Edward was acutely aware of his balls hanging heavy and nestling over his swollen dick.

And his inner thighs, which Jasper was now caressing. As Jasper's hands moved from Edward's knees to the junction of his ass, his long fingers trailed inwards. It made Edward bite his lip; _So close!_ Almost touching his cock, which was leaking pretty steadily.

When Jasper's hands suddenly tug, tug, tugged on his thighs and hips, resolutely raising them up and spreading them apart, it was a relief to do so.

His sensitive cockhead now trailed along the scratchy towel, but THANK GOD it was no longer squashed into forced half-hardness. Edward's attention was torn between the now intensely throbbing erection that dangled down from his tight belly and Jasper's fingers which were now spreading his ass open as he had under Alice's direction.

''God.'' Jasper moan-prayed at the sight of Edward's ass-crack, all hairless and inviting. Resting his forehead on Edward's back for a second, Jasper tried to recover from the dizziness of pure lust.

Edward was moving a bit beneath him, raised hips rocking slightly even if his torso still crushed lifeless into the mattress. Edward was in no danger of falling asleep though. There was a breathy hitch to his every inhale. And Jasper could just glimpse his balls, tight and ripe in the shifting candlelight.

Jasper dove in then, unable to hold back any longer.

He peppered soft kisses all over Edward's ass cheeks.

Then down into his ass crack.

Then straight onto his clenching hole.

Jasper hesitated then, ready to stop. But Edward was completely abandoned to the sensations Jasper was creating.

He didn't pull away.

He didn't complain.

He didn't tense up.

Edward _whined_. He fucking whined, a wordless supplication for more.

Grinning, Jasper complied. When he licked Edward's asshole for the first time, Edward swore under his breath; the first coherent sound he'd made since the beginning of their lovemaking.

As his arousal grew, Edward eventually revived. After the massage, he'd rested passive and pliant. Now he pushed himself to his hands and knees, giving Jasper more room to lick all around his newfound sensitive skin.

And when Jasper applied more pressure, trying to push his tongue in and using his thumbs to spread his cheeks as far as possible, Edward twisted his hands into the sheets and groaned.

And groaned again and again, as Jasper really got into it; Edward groaned until his throat was raw and his heart pounded in his ears.

When Jasper finally pushed first one, then two fingers into Edward's saliva slicked hole, Edward pressed his sweaty forehead into the pillow and realized he was pleading.

Just as Jasper had promised; incapable of stopping, he gasped and begged _please please please_.

He couldn't coherently recall what he was demanding, drowned in sensation.

_Please please please_.

Disconnected.

Desperate.

He didn't even realize Jasper had stopped his assault until suddenly, the other man was lying alongside him. Through heavy lids, Edward watched him, pupils huge and blown.

_Jasper._

Jasper, naked and sweaty and flushed and fevered.

Like Edward.

When Jasper's hand wrapped around Edward's wet cock, the kick of pleasure reminded Edward what he might have been pleading for.

He was SO hard; he would DIE if he didn't cum. NOW.

Then Jasper was grabbing Edward's limp hand and wrapping it around his own engorged cock. The sound that tore from him and the way his eyes rolled back pulled Edward into action.

Jasper was SO hard; he would surely DIE if he didn't cum. NOW.

Edward jerked rapidly.

Disconnected.

Desperate.

Just as Jasper did.

Then it was all a tangle of writhing legs and pumping hips and Jasper's lips on Edward's and cum cum CUM spurting hot and endless.

_[HCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHC]_

The rest of the evening proved insignificant.

It included gasping post-orgasmic giggles. A shower with fragrant bubbles dripping down tight bodies. Cozy cuddling. Sci-fi television series re-runs and subsequent arguments of who was hotter, Captain Jack O'Neil or Professor Daniel Jackson. (Edward rather liked the strong buzz-cut super hero type, while Jasper had a soft spot for the crazy hair distracted intelligent type.)

All too soon, it was parting time. Edward had to get up early for work again.

And Jasper now knew that he worked a metal press in a trailer-hitch making company. This surprising news was explained by Edward wanting a job un-related to his parents' relations. The ad had advertised no experience was necessary and the gruff manager had taken a liking to the tall young man with fiery eyes. Surprisingly, Edward had proved rather good at what he did; the precise folds and manual labor exactly suited his character, once he got over the grubbiness and loud noise.

Finally, Edward was once more deep in dreamless sleep.

Only two days left till Saturday...

_[HCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHC]_

* * *

><p><em>My, my. Those boys will eventually kill me with pure hotness. I hope this chapter makes up for the wait!<em>

_The ''Don't get cum on the keyboard!'' quote is from the fabulous **IC MEZZO.** As far as I am concerned, piano sex has reached it's perfect (and most touchingly real) account in her piece **IVORY AND EYES**._

_And in SAFE-SEX speach mode; you shouldn't take something that has been in an asshole and insert it elsewhere without a thorough washing. ie Jasper's tongue in Edward's mouth after rimming. And any form of ass to vag is a no-no. But you already knew this..._

_So, enjoy the summer and stay tuned for the rest of the fun!_


	30. Chapter 27: Edward's plan

_Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, but I call dibs on Titlight!_

_Hey, surprise! A weekly update! This chapter is just short and lemony fun before the big date, so don't expect an update next week! I'm going to take the time to make sure I correctly capture Edward's first time..._

_Thanks go out to my Beta **Laverett**, for being the queen of texting and also for pointing out Edward's dangling participles. Still not really sure what it means, but man does it sound dirty!_

_Oh, and this warning is for guest reviewer ''Nancy''. Rated** M** for **sexual content. NSFW.** In fact, this is a public service announcement; unless warned otherwise,** all the following chapters of this story are NSFW**. Always. These boys are kinky. And fun. Over-18 only. ;)_

* * *

><p><span>-FRIDAY-<span>

On Friday, Edward was in denial.

He had a temporary relapse in homophobia, caused by remembering what he'd let Jasper do the night before.

His freak out was pretty fucked up considering HE was now homosexual, or at least bi. He was Jaspersexual for sure.

So Edward inwardly cringed at himself every time his thoughts strayed to where Jasper had touched him.

No, worse than touched. Jasper had licked and kissed and tickled and pushed a finger or two in. Quite enthusiastically.

And Edward had decided to conveniently forget how enthusiastically he had responded to Jasper's tongue, lips, and fingers.

This delusional state was rather difficult to maintain and made Edward quite testy, as one of his co-workers unfortunately discovered after commenting on Edward's new socks. (The right sock was green and blue checked, while the left one proudly sported orange and white stripes.)

When Edward paused to breathe after a brilliant rant on anti-conformist individualistic anti-fashion color choices and snobby sock communism, his listener (who had sadly not grasped the finest points of Edward's argumentation) muttered '' What crawled up YOUR ass?''

This was a bad choice of words.

Bad bad bad.

It narrowly missed causing a violent and screechy incident that might have landed Edward in jail, or at least humiliated his Mom by making the headlines.

Luckily for the innocent painter, who swore he would never again attempt to be friendly with a co-worker when his face was all screwed up like he'd tasted a lemon (_little did he know Edward looked like that because of a very different type of lemon_) there was no response from Edward. What crawled up his ass… There was no response because all of Edward's possible replies and insults jammed in his throat as he realized that _Jasper's tongue_ had crawled up his ass.

And tomorrow, his dick would too.

Edward's head nearly exploded at that moment and his co-worker took the opportunity to escape to the air-brush room. The relieved painter immediately felt much better; there was something about holding a compressed air gun and a full-face mask that made him less worried, in the event Edward might decide to pursue him.

As it turns out, Edward didn't. After standing frozen for a good five minutes in the middle of the shop, (the other workers had learned from their colleague's mishap and wisely walked around Edward without saying a word) Edward eventually realized he was behaving quite stupidly.

He'd been perfectly fine as long as Jasper had been with him.

And he wasn't the first guy to get rimmed.

In fact, now that he thought about it, he'd had at least two different women offer to do that to him before. So he wasn't even the first straight guy to get rimmed.

Except, he wasn't straight. Oh fuck it. This denial thing was complicated.

Edward had liked it.

And so had Jasper.

That was the end of that.

Finally sorted out in his mind, Edward had a very productive end to his morning. And at lunch, he offered his Twinkie in apology to the co-worker who had, after all, only been trying to be nice.

And so peace was made and Edward smoked a thoughtful cigarette wondering if he was a Twinkie. Not a twinkie; a twink. He'd have to ask Jasper. He had a vague idea of the different gay sub-categories. But it was important for him to know what Jasper liked in gay men. Edward liked categories and boxes. Unfortunately, he didn't know which one might he might fit in at the moment. Being… undefined… was very unsettling. And kinda liberating too.

__[HCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHC]__

Edward had to stay for a couple of hours of overtime after work.

And Edward was perfectly fine with this since Jasper had a previous engagement and had already told him he was busy Friday night.

After a shower and a pizza, still no run even if his ankle was much better, Edward had time on his hands.

Time on his hands for more research.

It was a toss-up between butt-plug research and internet porn research.

Edward felt somewhat sad and empty as he distractedly clicked through a few sites, both gay and straight.

This was much more fun with Jasper.

In fact, most of the fun was from driving Jasper crazy.

It would be absolutely mean to tease Jasper when he was at a conference.

Absolutely devilishly mean.

Edward really shouldn't text him.

Really.

...

Now what would be the best, or actually the worst, thing to send him? Something short, not extremely explicit but suggestive enough to make him climb the walls of whatever reception room he was at...

Still lacking in inspiration, Edward roamed his apartment.

He downed a glass of water in the kitchen, fondly contemplating the table.

Nope, not the table. Been there, done that. It was much too early in their almost-relationship to already be falling into comfortable repetition!

Which reminded him...

Standing in his bedroom with the medium size plug in his palm, Edward could feel an idea beginning to crystallize.

Oh yes; the more he thought of it, the more perfect he realized it was.

Grabbing the lube too, Edward went in search of his phone...

__[HCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHC]__

_[Doing more research. ~~E] _He texted Jasper.

A few minutes later, his screen lit up with Jasper's answer, a confused _[Yes? WTF! ~~J]_

Good, Jasper was interested. Edward gave him a bit more info:

_[You know, for tomorrow. ~~E]_

He waited less than a minute before delivering the coup-de-grace.

_[Tomorrow when u fuck me. ~~E]_

It was several minutes before Jasper answered and Edward started to get jittery-anxious.

He was already half-hard, and took the opportunity to shed his pants. Edward couldn't help stroking himself as anticipation made his insides quake.

Edward's phone finally vibrated signaling he had a text.

It was Jasper. Obviously.

[_What u doing now? ~~J]_

_[Jerkingg._ ~~E] The typo was caused by his thumb slipping as he flipped the cap on the lube with his teeth.

Edward was tempted to proceed immediately to the next step in his plan, but purposely made himself wait for Jasper's response, lying on his bed and languorously stroking his erection.

He imagined Jasper, hot and bothered in the crowded conference-room, waiting for the phone to buzz and dreading hearing what Edward was up to. He sure was taking his time answering!

_[Jazz?_ ~~E] Edward typed anxiously when he reached the point where any more stroking would mean getting close to the orgasm danger zone.

His dick throbbed fiercely, so Edward lightly glided his lubed fingertips along the length, appreciating the spongy hardness.

As he waited nervously for Jasper's response, Edward switched to tracing gentle circles around his asshole with a lubed finger.

Fuck, Jasper was taking a long time answering.

Edward stuck the tip of his finger inside his asshole, as he stared at his phone through slitted eyes. His cock pulsed again and again, but Edward ignored it.

Fuck.

Couldn't Jasper answer already?

Edward slowly fucked himself on his finger, feeling the heaviness of the plug in his other hand slowly warming from his palm.

_[Sorry, time for toasts. What u doing now? ~~J] _Finally, finally Jasper answered.

Taking a deep breath, Edward texted immediately.

_[Waiting 4 u. ~~E]_

_[What?_ ~~J] Jasper's answer was instant too. Eager.

Edward press, press, pressed the lubed medium-size butt-plug into his ass. He'd forgotten how the stretch burned, fu-uck! He wiggled on the bed, waiting to adjust to the size.

FUCK! Edward deliberately exhaled through pursed lips, trying to keep his head. It felt good, but the thought of what he was going to do after, now THAT was what made him flushed all over.

Finally, Edward gained a certain level calmness as the plug settled and his ass stopped spastically grasping it.

_[Inserted plug._ ~~E] He texted Jasper, wiping the sweat from his eyes.

_[Fuuuckk._ ~~E] Edward added.

His phone instantly lit up with an answer.

_[Edward.]_ Jasper scolded. [_Not funny. Now fucking hard in middle of conference. ~~J]_

_[Not joking._ ~~E] Edward retorted.

_[Going 2 go 2 store with it_.~~E] Edward bit his lip as he sent the message.

At the lack of immediate response from Jasper, Edward gingerly shifted to a sitting position on the edge of his bed.

His dick jerked yet again, slippery with pre-cum. Fuck. Edward wrapped a fist around himself and twisted it around the head, groaning at the divine friction. He rocked his pelvis from side-to-side, just as he'd done the other night on the table, feeling the solidness move inside his ass. Already, Edward could feel an orgasm building, a tight web pulling inside his thighs and belly, anchoring to his balls.

Reluctantly, Edward let go of his dick, which protested the loss of contact quite persuasively.

It seemed Jasper wasn't answering, and Edward had no patience left, so he texted him.

_[So Fucking hard._ ~~E]

Edward rose carefully to his feet and walked to his closet with the minimum of movement required, trying not to shift the hardness inside him.

He carefully stepped into a pair of his tightest boxer-briefs, the pair that was striped brown and green and orange and made his ass phenomenal. A strange gurgling sound of need echoed in the closet when Edward unthinkingly bent over to pull them up.

Good _God_.

The shift in position magnified the flow of sensation from his ass until everything else darkened. Edward rose unsteadily, waiting for desire to subside a bit. Sighing, he tucked the rock-hard length of his erection into the shorts.

He wasn't going to cum now, not in his closet! Cumming in the closet because of a toy up his ass was just cliché for a same-sex beginner…

No, Edward was going to walk down the street to the grocery store and get a bottle of wine. WITH the plug pushed deep inside. And no-one would know. He hoped.

No-one would know except for Jasper.

Fucking hell that was hot!

Edward's cock was pressed against his belly; the head, pink and shiny, poked over the elastic band of his underwear.

Edward gulped at the obscene image, then carefully pulled his loosest pair of kaki cargo pants on. He immediately discovered that squatting was no better than bending over to pull them up. Edward had to grab at the doorframe and concentrate again.

Fuck he was horny.

His loosest black t-shirt came next, and the tent in his pants was not too blatantly visible. He hoped. It was the best he could do.

Pushing anxiously at his hair, Edward noticed a missed text blinking on his phone.

Jasper.

_[Me too. I'll get back at u for this! ~~J]_

What?

Scrolling back, Edward saw that his last message had been about how hard he was. And now, so was Jasper. Fuck.

Inspired again, Edward moved back to his dresser and snapped a quick photo of himself in the mirror with his phone.

It took a few tries, because the flash kept making parts of him blur, but soon he had an acceptable picture.

He was fully dressed in the picture, so no danger if someone accidently spied it.

But if you looked closely at his crotch (and Edward was certain Jasper would do just that!) you could definitely see the solidness there, the unnatural fall of the fabric. Too bad there was no way to show the presence of the plug. But Jasper KNEW it was there, it would drive him crazy anyway.

Perfect.

Edward quickly sent it to Jasper, with the caption; [_I'm ready. ~~E]_

By the time he'd got his wallet, and keys, Jasper had answered his image-message. [_Wish I was there. Fuck. ~~J]_

And seconds later [_Want to touch my __dick so fuckin bad and can't. I hate u. ~~J]_

That one made Edward frown and get a cold ball in his gut. What if he'd pushed Jasper too far? Maybe Jasper really wanted to concentrate on the conference...

Jasper must have sensed his mistake too, because the screen immediately brightened with another text message.

_[Not really. Don't hate u But my dick does. Lol ~~J]_

And then another:

_[Blueballs suck. ~~J]_

That one was just too easy, and a relieved Edward answered:

_[I suck too :P ~~E]_

Edward pushed his aviator sunglasses on over his reddened cheeks and tried to breathe deeply enough to unknot his middle. It was time. He could do this. No-one would know.

He was going out with a plug in his ass.

Fuck.

With shaky fingers, he texted Jasper one last time:

_[Going now. Text u later. ~~E]_

___[HCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHC]___

It seemed to Edward that the sound of his door closing echoed forever in the carpeted hallway. Surely all the neighbors were rushing to their peepholes to see what he was about?

Edward froze, hand still on his doorknob.

He mentally gave himself a pep talk.

He was just being paranoid.

Of course no-one could see anything out of the ordinary.

Edward eventually found the courage to turn and begin the endless, unsteady walk down to the elevators. He was only one door away from his own when he began to doubt the ingenuity of his plan.

Every single step was torture.

Every.

Single.

Step.

Step. The plug moved with his stiff stride.

Step. The elastic of his underwear rubbed against his cockhead.

Step. The plug seemed so massive, all of Edward's attention concentrated on the intrusion.

Step. His stomach was so tight with tension, his abs jumped spastically and made walking a rigid, unnatural effort.

Step. Edward was light-headed with need. Fuck, he wasn't breathing, trying so hard to swallow all the little sounds that piled up in his chest.

Breathe.

Step. Fuck, he needed a break. Edward had to stop for a few seconds, vainly trying to center himself in all the surging sensations.

Step. He was almost at the elevator.

Step. Did he forget his keys? All he needed was to get locked out of his place in this state.

Step. Edward's balls were so achingly tight, he could feel the pull deep in his groin.

Step. He wondered what Jasper was doing, if he was still at the conference. Maybe he'd had to go to the washroom to relieve himself?

Step. God, Edward wanted to cum already.

Step. He wouldn't, not yet. He had to go out to the street, walk down the sidewalk, cross unknowing strangers.

Step. Fuck, light-headed again.

Breathe. A gasping, raspy sound, not at all normal.

By the time Edward was in the, thankfully empty, elevator, he was a sweating, troubled mess. He was so fucking close and the_ idea_ of what he was doing was slowly eroding his control. It trotted through his subconscious, setting fire to dark streaks of exhibitionism and forbidden naughtiness.

Fuck.

When the shining doors opened into the lobby, Edward took one last deep breath and made himself begin the walk to the glass doors through which the sun was streaming.

He could feel the eyes of Charlie, the security guard, burning through him as he approached the little glass cubicle.

Fucking fuck fuck FUCK!

Surely Charlie could see something was wrong. He was a kind little man, with a friendly smile. What if he realized what Edward was up to?

Surely he could tell something was off.

That was why he squinted like that.

Edward's dick jerked and his thighs trembled.

What if Charliestopped him? Surely he had noticed the bulge in his pants.

What would Edward say?

As Edward reached Charlie, he managed a tight smile and a nod.

The man didn't seem any different than unusual, waving absently and staring sideways at his newspaper.

What if he was faking, what if it was a ploy to put Edward at ease before he jumped up and accused Edward of being gay?

Charlie had guessed Edward had a butt-plug up his ass! Surely he had! Edward's gait was robotic and jerky, despite his best efforts. His vision swam and his heartbeat pounded in his erection.

Of course it did; Edward had a butt-plug up his ass.

In the middle of the lobby.

He had a FUCKING BUTTPLUG UP HIS ASS!

Something cracked in Edward then. His willpower crashed, overwhelmed by mental stimulation and physical sensation combined.

Edward knew then he wouldn't make it.

He couldn't.

He had a buttplug up his ass. He was going to cum because of it. Fucking soon. In the middle of the lobby probably.

In a rush, he turned and hurried as fast as he could back to the elevators, as he mumbled in the general direction of the security guard about having forgotten something upstairs.

He was burning up, fuck, and he tasted blood in his mouth where he was biting his lip trying to keep the sounds down!

The ride back to his floor seemed to take forever, and Edward hunched over, grabbing at the hand-rail to try to ground himself. Almost there; he could feel himself, feel his control, slipping.

The final walk back to his door was a blur, all of Edward's attention absorbed by the blazing tide rising in his middle. He vaguely knew that little moans and groans were escaping despite his efforts as his concentration slipped, but that fact was less important than getting back to the safety of his apartment as fast as possible. His thighs shook with the need to release. Edward gave up attempting to fake normalcy and concentrated on the stylish silver numbers beckoning on his door.

If any of his neighbors had opened their own door right then, they would have seen a flushed and uncoordinated Edward, stumbling hurriedly to his home. They would probably have thought he was slightly drunk. Or that he had a bad case of diarrhea.

But luckily for Edward, none of them did.

Not that he would have noticed in his distracted condition. He was so far gone he would have missed even a werewolf if it had stood in the hallway. If there was such a thing as werewolves. Or vampires.

There were a few interminable minutes where Edward fumbled trying to open the door. His keys jangled and his hands shook; he dropped the key ring to the floor because of his sweaty fingers.

Fuck.

Now he had to bend over to get them.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Fuuuuuuuck.

Carefully rising, Edward clutched at his throbbing dick, feeling it pulse even through the layered fabric.

Christ, he wasn't going to make it!

In a last desperate effort, Edward somehow managed to slip the key into its hole and turn the knob.

Almost...

Edward lurched into his apartment, even as his vision tunneled. Edward remembered to close the door with his shoulder while he groped to free his trapped cock from a belt, a zipper and a soaked boxer-front.

God.

When he was finally able to wrap a fist fully around his shaft, Edward's knees gave out from the intensity and he sank clumsily to the floor.

This made Edward's weight settle fully onto his ass as it contacted with the hard cold tile- his ass that was filled with an untroubled turquoise butt-plug. A plug that was suddenly pushed so much deeper, where all the dark nerve-endings were hidden…

Electricity tore through all of Edward's body then, jagged spikes of pleasure originating from his core.

His back arched, mouth open on a silent scream. Edward later thought he'd maybe banged his head against the door a few times as cum shot from his swollen cock. He'd convulsed most violently, that was for sure, muscles locked in a spasm that just wouldn't end. When it finally broke, a ragged inhale was all he had time for before the next surge of bliss.

The orgasm lasted a long long time, Edward thought, helplessly twitching to the currents of intense pleasure. He wasn't really sure how long he seized, because he was close to blacking out.

Jesus.

Edward eventually pulled himself together, shaky and heavy-limbed.

He pushed himself up from his slumped position, causing more butt-plug-shifting-related groans. Edward tiredly decided it would be easier to kick off his shoes and pants than attempt to hold them up with the one hand that was relatively cum free.

He stared astounded at his t-shirt, marked by dark streaks of shiny wet splattered almost up to his shoulder. Headward's signature power-jizz.

Fuck.

Finally gaining enough energy to get to his feet, he shuffled to the sink to wash his hands.

What would Jasper say when he heard of this disaster?

Fuck, Jasper!

Edward had to walk back to his discarded pants to get his phone, grunting at the almost-too-sensitive rush when he bent over.

Again.

Fuck, he still had the plug!

His spent dick jerked, not so dead it seemed.

Once Edward was plug free (he had carefully deposited it in the bathroom sink for future cleaning; he'd learned his lesson about letting sleeping butt-plugs lie on the floor) he shot another picture of himself in the mirror.

He made sure only his torso was visible; no recognizable head, and nothing under the waist since he was pant-less as well as plug-less.

What resulted was an image of a ruined black t-shirt, linear stains and an abstract pattern of dark spots glimmering a bit if you looked closely.

He captioned the image and sent it to Jasper before heading to change into pajama pants_. _

_[Didn't make it! ~~E]_

He was lighting a satisfied cigarette when Jasper answered.

[_Fuck! You kill_ _me!_ ~~J]

Then [_Looks like it was fun! Talk to u tomorrow. Can't text now, will be driving home to jerk off. ~~J]_

A few seconds later, Jasper added

_[Will be thinking of . ~~J]_

Edward typed a quick answer, smiling ridiculously in his empty living room.

_[Goodnight.]_ Edward had typed. [_Can't wait for tomorrow. ~~E]_

To which Jasper answered with a naughty [ B===D ~~~ ]

Edward carefully placed his phone on his side-table, watching the smoke curl up from his cigarette.

Tomorrow.

Only one night left before their date.

Fuck, he couldn't wait.

B===D ~~~ indeed.

__[HCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHC]__

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><p><em><em>Well well... Text-sex it was! That was a new one for me, I'm too old to have ever had text-sex... Gotta keep up with the times!<em>_

__I can now be found on **THE WRITER'S COFFEE SHOP** under the same penname, just in case fanfic censors get me again. Headward updates simultaneaously on both sites...__

__Next chapter is date night. Jasper opens up, and so does Edward. But not in the same way... See you soon!__

__FrenchCaresse__


	31. Chapter 28: Flashing Stars and Tears

_Hey guys! Glad to be back! Let's start this off with a few messages:_

_My real-life situation has changed since this summer. I write when I can. Weekly updates are not possible anymore, sorry. I SWEAR I will finish this story, we are almost done. Another three chapters probably._

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><p><em>My Beta <em>_**Laverett**__ has been bashed by RL too. Send all your thoughts and love her way. _

_By my choice, this chapter is posted **unbeta'd**, so it might read less smoothly than others. I will eventually post a corrected version when I have one._

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><p><em>And now, serious mode: <em>_**warning- there is no sex in this chapter**__. Sorry to all the frustrated reviewers who NEED them to get to it. But this is not a cockbock. This chapter contains character development and deepens their relationship quite a bit. It was planned and necessary._

_Rated __**M **__for MATURE. __**SEVERE ANGST**__ AND RAW __**EMOTION **__warning. Mention of DISTURBING THEMES such as DEATH AND DRUG USE AND SUICIDE. Not appropriate for young innocent readers._

_Wait, I forgot. There is not no sex. There is a little sex. Just a smidgen of sex. (I've always wanted to use the word smidgen! A smidgen of sex... hihi...Why does that make me think of midget sex? Because midget sex is just soooo wrong...)_

_Right, shutting up now. Hang in there, it's a rough one!_

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><p><span>SATURDAY<span>

Ten O'clock.

It was ten o'clock. Only ten o'clock.

The flashing green numbers on Edward's microwave resolutely marked 10:00.

No matter how he stared, willing them to change, willing time to rush _fasterquicker,_ to fast-forward until it was two o'clock, it was still only ten.

And then...

Just as Edward focused all his willpower on making time speed, the numbers changed!

10:01

Edward had super-ESP-powers of magic! But then no matter how hard he focused, it was a minute later before the numbers switched to 10:02.

Crap.

Because super-ESP-powers would have been really cool. And useful too.

Edward sighed mightily, bored with trying to make time pass, and draped himself across the couch.

Edward had had a surprisingly peaceful night. He'd expected to toss and turn, tormented by nerves of today's date. Instead, he'd sunk into dreamless slumber until his alarm woke him.

An alarm which Edward now realized he had set much too early. Showering and breakfast had been over in a flash. Jasper had asked him to pack a small overnight bag, even though Edward still didn't know where he was going. And although the dilemma of what to bring had occupied Edward for at least forty minutes, he was still bored and restless by 10:04.

Sighing once more, Edward dropped his head theatrically against the armrest. Too bad there was no-one there to watch his dramatic boredom display. Edward added a yawn, realizing his artistically sprawled position was conductive to touching his crotch. His hand just naturally seemed to rest there. Unless it was male instinct? ''Bored out of your mind? Touch your dick!''

As he rubbed a bit through the black jeans -in a very bored way- Edward let his mind wander. Because boredom was also quite conductive to day-dreaming and well, Edward could hardly be faulted for day-dreaming about tonight when he would be losing his virginity. The thought caused a sharp clenching in his belly and totally destroyed his indolent mindset.

What-ifs tried to swirl up and a nervous freak-out raised its green head.

Edward realized his mindless petting was causing another head to perk. Suddenly inspired and definitely giving up on being bored, Edward swung himself to a standing position so quickly the floor swayed.

After double-checking his bag once again to make sure he had all the necessary equipment for his fateful night, Edward settled back onto the couch with his laptop.

He had decided that now was the perfect moment to indulge a passion he had forced himself to ignore when he was doing serious internet porn research.

Edward was going to watch Jasper getting fucked.

Hopefully, he would find more than those two bad-quality films. Edward squashed a tiny grain of consciousness that wanted to protest. It wasn't a violation of privacy. It was… a form of studying. Pre-ass-fucking-cramming. Because later would certainly contain ass-fucking-cramming. Edward's ass.

Fuck.

Not wanting to dwell on the disturbing thought or on Jasper's monster dick, Edward hurriedly typed his query in the friendly search-box.

Curling up in his familiar corner of the couch, Edward unzipped his pants. A first viewing of the video affected him just as powerfully as the previous times.

Assper completely absorbed Edward's attention, to the point that the blond top was almost an accessory. Edward drank in every sound, every eye-brow scrunch, every quiver. He tried to analyze every blink, every dick stroke. How he wished he could know for sure what was behind every kiss, every caress, know what was going through Jasper's mind.

Although this was younger Jasper in his bad days; too thin, with dark-circled eyes and unkept hair, he wasn't absent in either of the videos. His eyes were clear; there was obvious communication, maybe even tenderness between him and his partner. It was there if you knew what to look for, in a half-smile, an unhurried willingness. There was no awkward fondling or robotic fucking; despite the poor poor quality of the films, they shone with genuine attraction.

Edward watched, fascinated and somewhat uneasy. It felt_ wrong_ to spy on Jasper like this. But it was so hot! Edward was pulsingly hard, even if he had hardly touched himself.

Besides, pulsingly wasn't even a word.

Edward quieted his conscience by justifying his voyeurism as more research. Watching Jasper bottom was very reassuring. Despite his ''top only'' claims, Jasper wasn't in pain in the vid's. He was at the quieter end of the fuckee spectrum, but Edward recognized pleasure in his gasps and moans. If Jasper had enjoyed getting fucked, then so would Edward!

Surely.

Of course he would.

Probably.

He hoped.

To make sure, Edward clicked the second video.

And forgot his preoccupations, enthralled by what he saw.

God, Jasper was beautiful.

Too quickly the video ended, and Edward automatically clicked replay.

His dick throbbed as he dissected every facial expression, every thrust.

By the third or fourth viewing, Edward finally figured out what made the scene so fascinating despite all its imperfections; trust.

Jasper trusted the top. It was simple as that. He willingly complied to his commands, no hesitation whatsoever. It made Edward ache in two different areas.

His dick was getting commanding, requesting serious stroking and an orgasm. But watching the pair on his laptop screen, Edward also ached deep in his chest. His heart was… jealous… of the easy wordless communication between Jasper and this man from his past.

Edward wanted to be that man. He wanted that connection with Jasper. And he knew that for the moment, they weren't there yet. Jasper was making efforts, but he still had mighty thick walls. And Edward most certainly didn't excel at communication. A dull feeling of inadequacy churned in Edward's chest.

At the same time, he was happy Jasper had been able to trust before.

And he felt like crap for resenting his partner.

Minutely resenting him.

Because he was mostly happy for Jasper.

Besides, he didn't even know the guy.

Edward swallowed around the conflicted lump in his throat and started the movie again.

This time, he wrapped comforting fingers around his shaft, tugging slowly and biting his lip as arousal surged.

He paused the video right at the moment when Jasper, on his back, was first penetrated by the blond top. Then he played it again in slow-mo.

And watched, fascinated.

Edward watched Jasper.

He watched the bashful slant of Jasper's eyelashes, the sideways glance, straight at the camera.

Watched the questioning eyebrow hike from a suddenly softened top's expression.

Watched wide-startled eyes that fell shut as slackness took over Jasper's features when the top's dick finally breached him... Edward forgot to breathe at how hot that was!

The scene replayed in genital close-up, the top's thick shaft pressing between Jasper's cheeks. But Edward barely noticed it.

He was watching Jasper's swollen cock, resting on his abs.

Watching how it was flushed and made his mouth water; watching how it flexed hard, three times in a row, when the top's dick sank in.

Jasper was so hot, grabbing at the sheets, then at the muscular shoulders above him, head thrown back. Then the actual fucking began and Edward rewound the clip, watching the same thirty seconds again.

And again.

And again.

10:19, that was the perfect time to start the slo-mo replay. He tried to blow the image up to full screen, but that only deteriorated the already bad picture quality even more so Edward quickly shrunk it back.

God, his dick was hard. He wanted to be the one fucking Jasper, so bad it made his throat hurt. Edward abandoned himself to a steady stroking rhythm.

10:19.

10:19.

10:19. This time at regular speed, just so he could hear the sounds of Jasper being penetrated.

10:19.

10:19. Back to slo-mo.

10:19.

10:19 Fuck, getting close. Edward's fist beat faster, driving towards ejaculation.

10:19.

10- DRRDRRRRRRIIIIIIIINNNNNGGGG!

Fuck! Cell phone!

Edward considered not answering, but his bubble was burst and he knew he'd have to work for it if he wanted to finish. This was the second time his phone had shrieked at him while he watched porn on his laptop. Goddamnit, couldn't he _ever_ stroke in peace? Might as well know who his cockblocker was this time…

Pressing pause on his laptop, Edward answered his phone in a breathless ''Hello?'' while comforting his dick with slow strokes of the other hand.

''Edward? It's Jasper!''

Edward recognized him immediately of course, and so did his dick because it jumped in his fingers, forcing out a teardrop of precum.

''Hi, Jasper.'' Edward rested his head against the couch back, enjoying the slippery circles of his thumb.

Then a weird silence descended. Edward was distracted by his cock, and he wasn't ever any good at small talk anyway. Besides, it was Jasper who had called him!

Jasper didn't say anything at first, breathing lightly into the phone. After a long enough moment that it might have been uncomfortable if Edward was concentrating on the phone-call and not on pleasuring his penis as silently as possible, Jasper eventually spoke.

''So, um, what are you doing?''

This had Edward sitting straight up and guiltily letting go of his dick, stammering. ''Uh, nothing, nothing, not much. Just, you know, passing time…Why?''

''Because I'm… bored. '' Jasper answered. ''I'm ready for tonight and I'm just going around in circles and this afternoon is never going to arrive and I was wondering if I could come over before I psyche myself out?'''

Well, the jumbled statement sounded almost like Edward. If Edward hadn't been mellowed by doing serious internet porn research.

It was comforting to know he wasn't the only one nervous and anticipating their date.

''Yeah, yeah. Sure. Come on over man. We can… chill and stuff.''

Edward fervently hoped that_ stuff_ included many different verbs. Verbs like kissing and groping and jerking and maybe even fellating. Although he didn't think that last one was actually a verb. Well sucking was a verb. And Edward certainly hoped for sucking. And licking. And swallowing. God, verbs had so much potential! Edward suddenly decided he loved verbs!

Shaking his head side to side in a move that made his hair fly, Edward realized he'd have to be really quick if he wanted to get off before Jasper arrived. And now he wasn't sure he even wanted to. The prospect of jerking off into a Kleenex was much less interesting than the possibility of Jasper [_insert appropriate verb_]-ing the cum right out of him.

Edward had zoned out, thinking about all the verb prospects, and nearly had a heart attack when the door buzzer sounded.

Swearing, he shot out of the couch, hindered by his unzipped pants. He stood still for a minute, clutching his chest and trying to calm his racing pulse.

''Surprise!'' Jasper's voice was far away, because the cell phone had dropped to the floor. Edward bent to pick it up and heard Jasper's somewhat repentant voice admit. ''I'm in front of your building. I just couldn't stand to wait and then I had to work up the courage to call you and… can I come in?''

''Uh, yes, yes, of course. I… Jesus, Jasper, are you trying to kill me?'' Jasper laughed into the phone and Edward hung up, needing both hands to stuff his mostly deflated dick into his pants and zip them up. At the same time, he walked to the door and pressed the button to let Jasper in. Talk about multi-tasking!

_[HCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHC]_

''Hi!''

''Hey!''

Jasper and Edward were caught in an uncomfortable stare-off for just a few seconds. Then they both leaned forward for a kiss at the same time, bumping their foreheads and giggling, before finally pressing their lips together.

Progress. It was definitely progress, very close to _notawkwardatall_, Edward thought, before his thoughts dissolved into a soothing blankness.

Mmmmmm.

The kiss lasted a long time, but it still was not long enough.

Jasper pulled back first, blinking at Edward before grinning; a blinding smile, all straight teeth and sparkling eyes and genuine happiness so strong Edward couldn't help smiling just as wide.

''So, watcha doin?'' Jasper walked into Edward's apartment, not at all timid this time. He continued to smile, and did a funny little hopping skip as he turned to wink at Edward over his shoulder.

Of course, Edward couldn't answer him then, thoughts all jumbled from Jasper's contagious good mood. A skip? Really? What kind of man could pull off a skip and still look devastatingly sexy at the same time, all long limbs and shiny teeth? No way in hell was Edward ever attempting that move; he was sure to fall flat on his face.

And probably land on a butt plug too.

Not that Edward ever kept his butt plugs on the floor anymore…

Jasper was heading into the living room, still looking at Edward over his shoulder. Of course, he saw the exact moment when panic and shame suddenly flushed Edward's sharp cheekbones. Edward's whole body went rigid and his green eyes darted, mouth twisting before he stammered. ''Um, nothing, nothing, I wasn't doing anything.''

Jasper turned to stare around the room, wondering what dirty secret had Edward all flustered like that. He looked like a teenager caught with his pants off… He looked good enough to eat. Mmmm, eating Edward... Jasper zoned out for a few seconds, before gathering his thoughts.

Maybe later. For now, it would be more fun to torture him some more.

Jasper spun in the living room, evaluating:

Piano-no.

TV, goddamn sinfully HUGE TV- maybe.

Armchair-no.

Glassvase-blownglassart-thingy in the bookshelf-hmm. Potential there, Edward might not have been able to admit his desires but that was a phallic symbol if Jasper had ever seen one. But no, for now, no.

Coffee-cup, no.

Laptop…BINGO!

Balanced on the armrest like that, Edward had obviously been using it recently, even if the screen was pitch black now.

''Edward,'' Jasper asked slyly,'' were you a naughty boy? Were you… touching yourself?''

Edward spluttered some more, and Jasper knew he was right. Edward was so cute, all blushing and red to his hairline! Jasper wanted to lick him, even if he was a bit mystified how a pornography actor would get shy about masturbating... It was… adorably Edwardish. And Jasper wanted to keep torturing him a little, so he continued;

''What were you watching, Edward?''

He made to leap for the laptop, but Edward was quicker. Somehow, he had managed to place himself between Jasper and the couch and the next minutes rapidly turned into a boyish tussle. There might have been just a bit too much inappropriate groping and rubbing for it to be considered innocent though.

In a sudden intrepid move, Jasper managed to unbalance a complaining Edward and push him to his knees against the front of the couch, reaching over his crazy hair and flicking a finger against the mouse-pad with the other hand.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Time stood still.

Everything froze; Edward's protests died, even the clock stopped ticking it seemed.

Jasper stared at the screen, stared for a few seconds without really comprehending- except for some deep instinctive part of him that instantly recognized who was staring back at him. Straight from his past.

And Jasper's insides dissolved then, acid pain bubbling up while his brain finally processed…

''Garrett.''

Jasper's voice was blank as he sank heavily to sit on the couch.

Edward's last giggle died off, dread chilling him as he realized that something was deeply wrong. He'd expected Jasper to be mad that Edward had been watching him get fucked. He hadn't expected this…

All the color drained from Jasper's face, his whole body heavy and still, shocked.

Edward pushed himself up, recognizing this was not the moment for the lame apologies he had prepared.

Jasper stared at the image on screen, frozen unmoving. Wait, that was confusing. It was the movie that was frozen unmoving. And, so was Jasper. Frozen unmoving.

So still.

Deadly still.

He whispered the name again ''Garrett.'' Then he revived, his pale drawn face all stormy eyes as he snapped his gaze to Edward's.

Before Edward could react to all the emotion swimming there, so strongly it made own chest tight, Jasper's face twisted.

He made a small broken noise, a choked sound that ripped Edward's heart out, and then suddenly he was gone, rushing for the door.

''Jasper!'' Edward called.

Jasper didn't answer, stumbling a bit because his vision swam with unshed tears.

_Out._

Instinct had kicked in and Jasper needed out. He didn't care where or how. He needed to get away from the pain that tore at him.

He managed to reach the door and had pulled it open a few inches when it slammed shut.

Fuck.

Edward.

Jasper could feel his taller presence, along his back, leaning a palm against the door.

''I need… I have to… Let me out!'' Jasper tried to pull the door open but Edward leaned his weight on it, reducing his efforts to nothing.

Adrenaline surged then. _OUT._ Jasper needed away._ NOW!_

And Edward was getting in his way!

Jasper put more panicked strength into it, yanking roughly at the door while Edward used his body's weight to his advantage and prevented it from opening.

''Fuck!'' Jasper finally shouted. ''Let me go, god damn it Edward!'' Giving up getting it open, Jasper kicked the door hard once, in ultimate frustration, before spinning around. His chest heaved, his eyes flashing murderous rage.

''No.'' Edward's tone was calm, but his arms stilled bulged.

Inside, Edward was sizing up his chances and deciding that with Jasper stronger than he was, as well as certainly more experienced at fighting, he was sure to get beat up.

He wondered if it hurt very much, getting your nose punched in. Edward didn't really want to find out. Maybe he could to talk Jasper out of it?

''Jasper. Stay. Talk to me.''

Jasper didn't respond, shaking and panting savagely.

''I'm not letting you go out like that. You can't… You're not… It's my fault! I'm not letting you out of here Jasper, do you hear me? You can punch me in the face if you want, so help me I'll find a way to stop you…''

Jasper was quiet then, tension pouring off him in waves.

Edward flinched, anticipating the first strike.

Slowly,

time

inched

forward

again.

Jasper's breathing calmed a bit, some of the tightness left his rigid form.

Then he roughly pushed Edward away from him, walking back into the living room and moving to stare out the window.

His stiff back faced Edward as he laughed; a soft, defeated sound.

''I couldn't punch you in the face, Edward, you're too pretty! And I don't punch ladies.''

A weak ''Fuck you.'' was Edward's instinctive response.

Edward made his careful way back to the living room, shutting his laptop with a sharp clap. Then he stood by the sofa and wrung his hands, while Jasper continued to stare out the window. It seemed he had transformed into a rock, unmoving_ and_ unspeaking.

Finally, the nervous energy in Edward grew too much and he HAD to do SOMETHING.

''I'm… I'm going to make some coffee. I… come in the kitchen when you're ready.''

The familiar motions were minutely comforting, as Edward set about grinding his beans to exactly the perfect size, then spooning exactly the right amount into the filter basket. He was measuring water when he heard footsteps and the scrape of a stool as Jasper sat at the breakfast bar.

Edward finished his task, stomach churning, then leaned against the counter. He watched the machine bubble and groan and hiss, dripping the warm-smelling brown liquid into the glass carafe.

He completely ignored Jasper, unsure and needing time to gather his thoughts.

Only when he had two steaming mugs and had stirred milk into his, then dug through his pantry until he found sugar for Jasper, did Edward find the courage to look into the other man's face.

He was reassured to find that the blond looked almost normal. There was tightness around his eyes, a weary line between his eyebrows... But the blazing rage was gone, and the overpowering hurt was subdued to embers, dimly flickering deep in his eyes.

''I… I'm glad you stayed.'' Edward broke the silence, uneasily.

Jasper laughed softly.

''Not like I had much choice, did I?'' His voice, mocking and still angry, made Edward cringe.

''Yeah, sorry… I mean, no, not sorry.''

Edward took a deep breath, ordered his thoughts and carried on. ''You were… I couldn't let you go out all alone like that. If something happened to you… And it's not right. You have to talk to me! If we're going to do this, this _boyfriends _thing, then I NEED to know you. Know about your past. Not everything, but you have to trust me. I don't want to hurt you. And I did, and I'm sorry but please Jasper…''

Edward trailed off, taking a sip of coffee and staring at the floor.

After a long moment, Jasper spoke.

''Edward…'' Then he waited, until Edward was compelled to look up into his face.

''Did you…'' Jasper's eyes crinkled. ''Call us boyfriends?''

Edward blushed again, running a nervous hand through his hair.

''Well, I, yes… I mean, no… I mean, I duh-don't know, I…fffufuck! Jasper.''

Edward hardly dared to glance at the man beside him, peeking through his lashes. ''What are we, exactly?'''

Jasper moved forward, kissing Edward softly until they were both gasping for breath.

''Boyfriends. Boyfriends is fine with me.''

After several more minutes of affectionate kissing, Edward eventually pushed away and accused Jasper. ''You can't do that! Kiss me till I'm all bothered and I don't know what we were talking about anymore! It's not fair.''

Jasper sighed, shoulders drooping as he recoiled back into his own chair, sullenly staring at his coffee-cup.

''Jasper…'' Edward hesitated, trying to find the right words. ''Please. Talk to me. Tell me about him. Who was he?''

The air charged with energy, so much so that Edward wondered if Jasper wouldn't try to bolt again. His mouth was set and stubborn, expression closed and harsh.

Finally, Jasper spoke softly, avoiding eye contact with Edward.

''Do I have to?'' He pleaded.

And Edward's heart broke, all over again. Jasper was hurting and Edward was making it worse and suddenly it didn't matter anymore.

''No! No! Of course not!'' The words rushed without Edward's conscious intent.

Reason protested, and Edward eventually added ''Jasper, I don't want to make it worse for you. You don't have to tell me about him _today_. But you will have to tell me about him _someday_. If we're serious, I mean…''

Edward stopped, suddenly struck with a thought ''I don't know if… are we? Are you just going to tap this fine piece of ass and then not answer my calls tomorrow?''

Edward meant it as a jest, but somehow the comment fell flat, lingering in the air until Jasper protested.

''No, it's not like that! Edward. Gosh, I… Are you sure you want me to go there on our special date night? I thought talking about ex's was bad mojo…''

''I want to know you.'' Edward admitted candidly. ''Even the bad parts. Including the ex parts. It's up to you…''

Jasper was quiet, for a long long time. It wasn't a bad kind of quiet. It was a surprisingly _comfortable together_ kind of quiet.

Finally, Jasper spoke calmly.

''You're right. I'm going to have to open up some day. And I DO want you to know. It's just… it gets me in a bad place, sometimes, if I think too much about what happened... Earlier, I wasn't expecting it. I got caught off guard and I didn't have time to control all the emotions! It hurt like mother-fuck, I couldn't think...''

Edward nodded understandingly as Jasper went on ''I suppose if I want to tell you about it, and I do, I'll have to face it again sometime. And I guess since I've already started today, well I might as well go through with it… It's just that I made some really bad decisions and I'm not proud of some of it. Most of it. I'm damaged. It's… Fuck, Edward…''

Jasper stopped, nervous and unable to pinpoint exactly what he wanted, what he needed.

Edward, however, apparently knew exactly what that was and he gently brushed his hand along Jasper's, reassuring him. ''I won't judge you, Jasper. It's your past. I'll still care for you today just as much even if I know what happened before. You can't change how I feel about you. Whether I know about it or not, it happened. It's made you who you are.''

Jasper nodded, biting his lip and obviously not knowing where to start.

''Who was he?'' Edward prodded gently.

''Garrett.'' Jasper stopped, took a deep deep breath to steal himself, and plunged into his past. ''Garrett. He was my… boyfriend I guess.''

''It was complicated. Those were my bad days. Most of the time, I was stoned out of my mind. I didn't care what time it was, what day we were. I didn't really have a place to live. I didn't care much about eating. I just… floated, I guess. It's hard to have a meaningful relationship in conditions like that.''

Jasper's words stumbled, uneven and almost… wistful.

''Still, that's what we had, me and Garrett. As much as was possible. He did porn too, it's how we met; a group scene where we all creamed this poor boy. It's blurry, I don't really remember, except I remember thinking how Garrett's eyes were so kind…''

There was silence for a moment, and Edward could almost get it. He'd noticed how the top was caring in the video too.

'' We hooked up after the shoot. There was a pizza. And we hung out… Then he invited me over. He had a one-bedroom basement apartment place… Time slides again, I don't remember it all.''

''We shot up. And we laughed. We laughed and laughed and all the rest of the shit didn't matter. It was like; instant connection. Like we'd been best friends our whole life. I think I stayed for a week that first time…''

Jasper sighed, his spine slowly loosening as he recalled the good times. And it had been good, his relationship with Garrett. Even in the midst of all the other crap; when he wanted to scrub his skin off in disgust after a film shoot, having Garrett had made him feel good. Loved. Worthy.

''Garrett was gay.'' Jasper told Edward. Somehow, it seemed important. ''He wasn't the kind of guy to hide it, or be fake. He lived every moment. He appreciated every mundane instant. I remember, once, he walked out in the freezing rain, because he wanted to feel the raindrops on his skin. He was so… alive. I thought he was crazy. And I… loved him for it. The sex when he came back, all dripping and cold and goose-bumps, was unbelievable.''

''It wasn't all pretty. Far from it… But somehow, that didn't matter when we were together. It was more than sex, way more than sex...'' Jasper gulped and fell silent, chewing on his bottom lip.

Edward waited, anxious, sensing that Jasper was working up his courage to admit whatever came next. He sipped tepid coffee, wondering if he should move over and hold Jasper or something. Insecure, he remained glued to his spot.

''I… It was almost a year and a half that we were together. That's like, forever, when you're in that shit state I was in! He… We…''

Jasper faltered, emotion boiling in his chest like steam in a pressure cooker. He concentrated on taking deep breaths, on staying right there in Edward's kitchen as the instinct to run surged again.

''Edward, I…''

Jasper's eyebrows were all tensed up, and his nostrils flared. Edward could practically taste the panicked pain that roiled in him.

It was bad.

Whatever happened next was bad bad bad, if Jasper couldn't even think about it without dissolving.

Hesitation gone, Edward quickly crossed over to Jasper and hugged him.

Kinda.

Jasper was still sitting on the stool and the metal legs got in Edward's way and the height was wrong but it didn't matter. After a few seconds of being still and unresponsive, Jasper eventually loosened up. Both Jasper and Edward rested together, until Jasper stood to press himself even closer to Edward.

A long, quiet moment passed.

Wrapped together, breathing deeply of Edward's spicy scent, Jasper gathered his strength.

Finally, he mumbled against Edward neck.

''He… died. Garrett died, Edward.'' Jasper's breath hitched, and he pressed his forehead hard to Edward's chest.

Edward remained silent, rubbing slow circles on Jasper's tense back. He vowed to be strong, to hear whatever it was and not freak out. Instead, Edward focused on holding Jasper's trembling frame.

Eventually, Jasper continued, still pressed tight tight tight against his boyfriend's warm body.

''It's just… not fair. He was a GOOD person, no matter what others thought of him. He loved life, loved every single minute of it. And yeah, he did drugs, and porn and BDSM but he was GOOD Edward, he was GOOD.''

It was important to Jasper that Edward to get that, that he understand Garrett hadn't just been another junkie. Edward nodded his agreement; if Jasper thought so, then he knew it must be true.

Jasper was getting agitated, rambling in a rough voice. ''It's not fair. He was young, Edward, he had so much left to try! So many opportunities he might have had and bam, he just won't ever get another chance! He always said he wanted to put his toes in each of the big oceans. He'd done Atlantic, and Pacific. But he hadn't gone to Europe yet, Edward, and now he won't because he's gone! Squicked out like a bug.''

Jasper fell silent, harshly breathing and worrying at a thumbnail with his teeth.

''Garrett died on his birthday, Edward. Can you believe it? On his twenty-first birthday, he died!'' Jasper laughed; a somewhat hysterical, high-pitched sound that gave Edward shivers. ''Who does that? Die on the day they become an adult? It's… philosophical or something. I'm sure it must mean something. Surely. Because I sure as hell don't get it! Like a cosmic joke or something.''

Jasper's voice was getting rougher, his throat clogging up with tears.

''There are so many motherfuckers who _deserve _to die, and yet it's a boy on his twenty-first birthday who gets erased. It's just… not fair.''

A single sob escaped Jasper, and his hands clenched to fists, twisting into the fabric of Edward's shirt.

''I was there, Edward.'' Jasper's voice was a thread now, a raw whisper. But his cheeks were dry, a feverish need to tell it all possessing him; the need to get Edward to understand. ''I held him. I partied with him. Our manager got us into the hottest club in town for his birthday; he had connections with one of the bouncers. We were young and pretty and wild. He overdosed, Edward! I don't know all the crap he took that night. Heroine and alcohol and some other shit, maybe coke?''

He shook his head, continuing his disjointed account.

''I don't know. It was his birthday, Edward. His BIRTHDAY! Of course he… We were going to party till the sun came up. In the club, he was messed up. Me too. There were so many shifting lights, and people, everywhere people. Music too! We danced. We drank... After a while, Garrett said he needed air. He was all sweaty. I laughed and dragged him to the door. He could hardly walk, mumbling about seeing the moon, needing to see the moon. Then when we got outside he sorta slumped against me and that's when I realized he didn't look too good.''

Jasper stared, unseeing, at the wall beside them. Edward made sure to remain still and strong, helplessly stroking Jasper's back. It was too late to stop now.

''Even then, Edward, I didn't do anything. I thought he was intoxicated, and that it would pass. But then he just keeled over, headfirst. The sound his skull made when it hit the pavement…'' Jasper shuddered. ''I rolled him over and his lips were kinda blue and his eyes were showing white and then he threw up everywhere…''

Jasper hiccupped, pressing his forehead against Edward again.

''I panicked, I don't remember the rest. I don't _want_ to remember the rest! It's all… fractalized. Like a broken mirror. Jagged pieces that hurt.''

Jasper moaned, a low involuntary whine that made Edward bite the inside of his cheek. Jasper was unraveling, fast, and it was a bit scary. His broken voice continued, pushing out the memories of his lover's last moments.

''The ambulance just wouldn't come and Garrett's breathing was all messed up and everything smelled like piss. There were people people people, all standing around and staring at us. And I screamed at them, because they couldn't see him like that, had no business seeing him like that, all covered in puke and convulsing because that wasn't how he was…''

Edward nodded, even if Jasper didn't notice, caught up in the past.

''Garrett was so much more, Edward, he was GOOD. Then it was flashing lights and the ground swayed and they took him away and I puked too because I was crying too hard and…''

Jasper choked up, shaking in Edward's arms.

He raised a blotchy, fevered face to stare earnestly at Edward.

''He was a GOOD boy, Edward. Innocent and somehow pure, even if he was fucked up. He didn't deserve to get cut short like that. It's just not fair.''

Jasper was bubbling over with too much bottled up emotion and Edward wished he could make it better. Hazel eyes burn burn burned into Edward's, searing a trail of connection deep between their souls.

Edward was quiet, caressing Jasper's soft hair and searching for the right words. It was important that Jasper knew he understood, even if he'd never known Garrett.

Finally, Edward whispered, staring straight into Jasper's frantic eyes.

''I get it, Jasper. I do. I'm sorry… I… It's always the brightest flames that burn out the fastest.''

Jasper reeled at those words, hiding his face against Edward's chest once more.

''Aaahhh, Edward…'' A wobbly, plaintive phrase that cut off on a scratchy inhale.

Jasper's voice broke and he sniffed, blinking hard against burning tears. He pressed long fingers to hot cheeks, hiding his face and crumbled, overwhelmed and weeping.

Fast and thick and salty and overpowered.

Jasper sobbed in Edward's arms, trying to stifle the sounds in his throat as much as he could and only half succeeding.

And it was okay to cry like that, because Edward was there, Edward was holding him. Jasper didn't let himself start with the tears very often, instead pushing all the raw emotions down down down deep inside himself. He was afraid of sinking whole into that dark despair and not finding his way out again if he started.

But with Edward there it was all right; Jasper could afford to lose a bit of his control and mourn, because Edward wouldn't let him break apart. Edward held Jasper steadily, his arms strong and comforting, and he maybe cried a bit, for this boy he never knew and never would.

Jasper eventually wore himself out, tears trickling to a stop.

He sniffed a few times, wiping at his face with weary hands and pushed away from Edward. He stopped for a second, standing in the kitchen, then croaked.

''I... need a minute. I'll be right back.''

In the washroom, Jasper blew his nose hard, then splashed water on his face. The ice-cold liquid felt good, calming the ache in his throat as he sipped from cupped fingers. He rested against the sink for a second, catching his breath.

Well.

That had been unexpected.

And horrible.

At the same time, Jasper was glad it was done, like extracting teeth. He hadn't meant to go into that much detail and fall apart like that, but he didn't exactly regret it either.

He felt tired, and somehow lighter. It had been way too long since he had properly grieved for Garrett. The rush of tears had been cleansing in a way, stagnant frustration washed away.

When Jasper returned to the kitchen, Edward was nowhere to be seen.

He wasn't in the living room either, and Jasper was beginning to worry he had chased him off until he spotted the open patio door.

Sure enough, Edward was lounging in a wrought iron chair, lean legs up on the railing and holding a cigarette between plump lips.

Jasper silently dropped into the other chair, lighting up and wondering where they stood.

''Sooo…'' Jasper failed to find the words to tackle his recent breakdown, and he most certainly wasn't looking at Edward.

He nearly jumped out of his skin at Edward's touch; a soft caress in his hair, and a hand that rested easily at his nape.

Edward was leaning sideways over the round table, and Jasper really didn't have any other option but to meet his gaze.

''Don't be embarrassed.'' Edward's voice was serious, and warm. ''I'm glad I know.'' A shadow of emotion ran through his clear green eyes, rapidly chased away. ''I wish you didn't hurt so badly. I regret there's nothing I can do, nothing YOU could do to make it better. I DON'T regret you opening up. In fact, if you ever need to again…'' Edward shrugged, then leaned back into his seat, taking a slow crackling drag on his smoke.

''After Garrett… left you…'' Edward continued cautiously after a moment of silent smoking ''you sobered up, didn't you?''

Jasper nodded. ''Yeah. Just seeing that…It could have been me. I_ wanted_ it to have been me.'' Jasper stared unseeing at the faraway cars in the street below. Tiny toy boxes, whizzing around importantly.

''Quitting was probably the hardest thing I ever did… I felt like crap, for so long. Nauseous and no concentration and empty… like garbage. Human refuse. And I kinda reveled in it. It was what I felt I deserved, for still being alive. Every cramp and ache and panic attack I went through, for Garrett. It didn't bring him back.''

Jasper's tone of voice was so matter of fact, like he was emotionlessly recounting something that had happened to someone else. But his words… His words chilled Edward to his spine, as he admitted:

''I wanted to kill myself, Edward. Just to make it all stop. But I couldn't! Not after Garrett's choice was taken away… I had to go on, for him. I had to live in his place! And I didn't want to, not really, for the longest time; I hated myself, and I hated withdrawal and I hated life and God or whoever for taking Garrett.''

Jasper butted out his cigarette in the ashtray on the table. He stared up at the sky, wishing he had his sunglasses. To hide from the sun. And hide from Edward. Maybe hide from his memories too.

''I didn't clean up right away, you know? After the funeral, I was even worse because I missed him so bad. Then one night someone called the paramedics to pick me up from the street after I passed out. I woke up to a 24 hour stay in the psych monitoring ward. There was a night nurse there, she totally saw through all my bullshit. She sat down, and she told me she knew some folks, a foundation that had a detox house and could sponsor me if I needed. She said it was up to me. Said the ache inside wasn't going away, and it was up to me to decide how I wanted to deal with it. She asked me if I was man enough to face it. I told her I wasn't. And she answered _that's when you have to learn to lean on others._''

Jasper admitted: ''I didn't go in right away. She gave me a business card. I kept it in my wallet, and every day I took it out and read it and stroked it. Then I put it away and I went out to get my fix.''

''After a couple month, I walked by the building, just to see what it was like. And again the next day, for another long while. When I finally walked up to the door, I was so nervous I thought I would puke! I knocked, and a girl answered and I thought I had the wrong address. She looked young, younger than me, and she had the brightest smile ever. She told me to _come in_ and she was_ Alice_ and she_ volunteered there_ and _did I want a glass of water_ and _she'd seen me through the window a few times_. She wouldn't stop talking, it made me dizzy because I'd been alone a lot towards the end... And she was so bright and shining and ALIVE; like the sun, like Garrett had been, that I followed her in, because it thawed my frozen insides a bit just watching her.''

Edward could just imagine it; a younger Alice was still a force of nature!

Jasper stretched, working his neck as if after a hard workout. Then he shrugged dismissively, wrapping up his tale.

''The rest is history. I read their program. I signed on, and went through hell. I relapsed a couple times. Had mandatory therapy sessions. Eventually, I was through the worst bit. I hung around the house and stayed as a volunteer. I grew really close to Alice, and when she graduated college, she launched herself into the film industry. By that time I had my own place, and some friends, and a job. Then Alice decided to do porn, and she convinced me to be in her films –with women this time. And I was finally getting along all right and then you showed up…''

Jasper trailed off, then got up and sat in Edward's lap. He kissed him tenderly, to soften his next words.

''And suddenly my past was back to haunt me, and then there was Victoria and I was attracted to you and my whole world flipped again…''

Jasper peppered light kisses all over Edward's face, butterfly wings on his eyelashes and cheekbones and forehead and in his fluffy crazy hair.

''And now we're all caught up.''

Edward's hands joined behind Jasper's butt, clasping together.

''Good.'' Edward said. ''I'm glad.''

''And_ now,_'' Jasper concluded, ''can we pleasepleaseplease kiss like teenagers before we leave for our date?''

He raised an eyebrow in invitation, and Edward grinned in response.

And so they kissed liked teenagers.

Kissed and grinded and hugged and ran their fingers all over until they were both panting and flushed and hard, cocks pressing against each other through denim.

They kissed until they could barely stand it anymore, and then they gasped and laughed and kissed some more.

They kissed until any neighbors would have surely called the cops at their indecent display. Except Edward's loft was so high up there were no neighbors close enough to be shocked at the sight of two enormously bulging porn-star pant-fronts and the uneasy squeezing such an uncomfortable situation demanded.

Then Jasper finally got up from Edward's lap because the position was altogether too conductive to humping, extending a hand and tugging him inside to get his bag.

Because tonight was their date night.

And their first-time-fucking night too. And Jasper would be damned if he let his unruly dick ruin it by exploding in his pants a few hours before.

Fuck no.

Jasper was going on a date.

With his boyfriend.

And he was going to fuck him too.

No, he was going to _make love_ to him.

Make love to Edward all night long...

Because Edward hadn't run screaming from all the baggage Jasper carried around. And he was now Jasper's boyfriend!

It created a warm cozy feeling inside Jasper, like apple pie.

He had a boyfriend!

* * *

><p><em>This chapter is dedicated to JS, who was one of those too-bright-shining stars.<em>

_After this there is no more cock-blocking. The boys are closer than ever and next chapter they make love. I promise._

_And all you freaky pervs will be happy to know that part of the delay for this chapter was because a one-shot got in my head. A long three-part BDSM one-shot that is quite advanced and that I'll post only after Headward is done._

_Till then…_

_Mwah! I love you all for reviewing, even if I don't always have the time to answer._

_Xxx_

_FrenchCaresse_


	32. Chapter 29 : The date

_Hi guys! Me already! Not a weekly update, but pretty close, don't you think? And a **double-update** too!_

_This chapter comes with an extra-special thank you! I still can't get a hold of my Beta **Laverett,** so I'm praying everything is alright for her. _

_Two of my reviewers accepted to step up to the plate and pre-read this most important chapter. So THAAANKKK YOOOUUU to __**Odiejay**__. You did a fabulous job, BB! As for _**TwilightreaderAddict, **her in-depth feed-back makes her honorary Beta!__

_Now can you guess the warnings for this chapter?_

_Contains **Mature** subject matter not appropriate unless you are** NC-17. NSFW NSFW NSFW NSFW.** What's your kink? Tons of UST? Toys? Kissing? Fluffy romance? Finger-fucking? Dirty-talking-Jasper? This one's for you!_

**_AND I REPEAT: THERE ARE TWO CHAPTERS POSTED TODAY' BECAUSE IT WAS JUST TOO LONG!_**

* * *

><p><em><em>[HCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHC]<em>_

_Some moments later…_

''No.''

''Edward…''

''I said NO.''

''Come on, Edward. You'll like it! I promise.''

''No. I could get hurt.''

''You're just being dramatic.''

''But I… I've never done this before.''

''Well, _I_'ve done it before; many, many times… Just trust me, Edward, okay?''

''Do you at least have protection?''

Jasper rolled his eyes in exasperation and answered the obvious.

''Yes, of course I do. You should know me better than that.''

Then he threw the helmet at Edward. And maybe he threw it with perhaps a little more strength than was strictly necessary, but Edward could be really annoying sometimes.

Times like now, as he clutched the helmet to his chest and walked warily around the monstrous shiny black metal contraption in his guest parking space.

Edward carefully left a wide safety perimeter around the bike as he circled it, as though it were a wild animal and might suddenly lunge at him.

For the love of…. Jasper sighed spectacularly to make his annoyance clear to Edward. It was a motorcycle, NOT a grizzly bear!

''Can't you have a car, like a normal person?'' Edward grumbled, poking at a tire with a foot.

Jasper sighed again and rolled his eyes at the whiny tone.

''Just get on the bike, Edward.''

But Edward wasn't about to give in so easily.

''Listen, Jasper. I have a great idea! We can take MY car! I have a perfectly safe Volvo! It drives really smoothly… I'll even let YOU drive if you want to.''

Edward gulped. No-one had never driven his Volvo except for him, but desperate times called for desperate measures! Jasper totally failed to recognize the significance of Edward's offer, moving over to straddle the Harley.

The sight of him on that bike was enough to jam any thoughts or objections Edward had to a stop as the blood-flow from his brain was rapidly redirected to his cock!

Jasper's legs looked even longer than usual, as he balanced on his toes. His thighs were muscular and solid, and there was something erotic about the way they gripped the motorcycle. His leather jacket hung open, offering tantalizing glimpses of Jasper's T-shirt pulled taut across his strong chest, and a lazy smile of pride played on his lips.

Jasper looked wild and confident and so… manly.

Edward gawked, completely forgetting what they were arguing about.

Jasper smirked, suggestively rotating his hips as he ran a hand through his hair. The V of Jasper's pale denim jeans attracted Edward's eyes like a magnet… It attracted Edward's hands too! God, Edward wanted to feel Jasper up; wanted to know if it was only chance folds of fabric or if Jasper was hiding a hard-on… _Lord knows there was no hiding his own._

Edward stood in the driveway, speculatively biting a pink lower lip with straight white teeth as he drank in the sight of Jasper on his Harley Davidson. Edward's mouth felt dry and tension boiled in him. When he managed to yank his gaze back to Jasper's face, rather ashamed of his helpless staring, Edward was red-faced and turned on. His dick was loudly complaining its earlier unsatisfied arousal, only increased by the added tease of the dry hump that followed.

Edward swallowed hard and tried to remember what they'd been about before his cock tried to poke its way straight through his black jeans. It was attempting to bust the zipper too, judging by how tight the denim now felt.

Damn porn-star cock.

Jasper's voice was rough as he menaced a dazed Edward;

''Get on, Edward. Please. Or I'll have to take you back upstairs and then we'll skip the date part and go straight to the fucking part. Your bag is already strapped to the luggage carrier.''

Even if Jasper was grinning cheekily at getting Edward all worked up, his eyes glowed with his own very real need.

They teetered, suspended on desire's razor-sharp edge.

And then the moment passed. Edward did as Jasper asked, because he couldn't think anymore and anyway, the opportunity to be pressed against Jasper made the risk of a motorcycle crash worth it.

That was how desperate he was for contact with his lover at the moment.

He was a pathetic horn-dog.

Jasper shook his head hard a few times, as Edward clumsily pulled himself astride the bike behind him. Regaining his focus, Jasper tried to reassure Edward by explaining his plan to his reluctant passenger.

''Look, we'll go around the block once, just to let you get used to the feeling. Don't fight me, Edward; when we turn, just lean into the curve. Stay loose and follow the movement of the bike. Oh, and put on your helmet.''

Jasper put on his own helmet, and with a deafening roar, he revved the motor. Edward nervously strapped the bowl-shaped helmet on his head he'd been tossed earlier (and tossed quite hard too!). Then he gulped and placed his hands around Jasper's waist.

Hmmm.

Jasper's abs were tight and ridged under his fingertips, and Edward couldn't really help sliding his palms towards the front to feel them some more. Being able to touch Jasper like this might make this whole ridiculous idea worth it.

Unfortunately, Jasper's hand clenched hard around Edward's wrist, moving his naughty hands back to a proper position at his flanks.

Jasper spoke over his shoulder, but the thunder of the motor and the blood rushing in Edward's ears from sexual frustration practically drowned out his voice.

Edward thought Jasper had said ''No distracting the driver.'' Then ''Hang on!''

And with a roar and a lurch, they were off. Edward frantically clutched at Jasper as they wobbled a bit, gaining speed. He hyperventilated, watching the pavement slide under him, feeling every shift and bump and rumble.

Jasper's hand squeezed comfortingly on Edward's knee, then stroked up his thigh as far back as he could reach. It was nice, and Edward shifted forward to press himself closer to Jasper. Jasper smiled and caressed him firmly, easing tense muscles.

Edward enjoyed the sensation of Jasper's touch so much he almost forgot he was balanced on a dangerous two-wheeled death-trap. He also didn't realize that having one hand on Edward meant that Jasper had only one hand on the handlebars…

Instead, Edward moaned and pushed his residual hard-on at Jasper's lower back, feeling the motor rumble in his thighs and the heat rise from the delicious curve of Jasper's ass.

Jasper let go of Edward's thigh with a final pat, once he felt certain there would be no panic attack behind him. He concentrated on driving; enjoying the prompt response when he gave a little more gas to accelerate.

Jasper accelerated but not too quickly; there was traffic and they were in a busy neighborhood. No need to take unnecessary risks with an unpredictable passenger perched behind him.

Once Edward had relaxed (or gotten horny enough to be distracted) he almost enjoyed the ride. The wind felt nice, whipping across his face. And then his vision blurred and his eyes streamed and Edward didn't dare let go of Jasper long enough to wipe them.

Fuck!

Contacts!

The lenses were displaced because of the wind, and now Edward had to close his eyes. The gradual slowing followed by a lurchy feeling signaled their return back to the apartment parking lot.

''So. How was it?'' Jasper's carefree, somewhat proud _I told you so_ tone changed when he turned to find Edward with his eyes screwed shut and tears streaming down his cheeks.

''Jesus, Edward, what happened? Are you alright?'' Jasper sounded panicked and concerned and it was just too cute. Edward wished his vision wasn't completely blurred so he could see Jasper's worried face too.

''It's my contacts.'' He explained. ''The lenses moved because of the wind! Wait a sec, I'm going to put my glasses on.''

And he did, thundering up the stairs because the elevator just took too long to arrive. While Jasper basked in the sunlight, Edward hurriedly removed his contacts, barely cringing at poking his slimy eyeball with his fingers to do so. Eyeballs were just… ew… Soon, he joined Jasper, looking (and seeing) much better with his thick black-framed glasses on.

''Right; let's go again, before I change my mind!'' Edward blustered.

After a few initial tense moments of clutching at Jasper and forgetting to breathe, Edward eventually grew more comfortable on the motorcycle again. Or at least, he stopped being completely frightened to death!

It helped even more as they left the city and settled onto a rather calm highway with few cars whizzing by and no stoplights.

The road stretched endlessly to the horizon as sleepy suburbs and small strip malls eventually gave way to fields of… something. Something leafy and green and waving cheerily in the sunlight, whatever the vegetable might be.

Since he wasn't driving, there was little else for Edward to do but observe the surrounding countryside as it flew by. He saw brown cows who didn't give a shit at their passing, busily pulling at the grass. The sun was joyful against its blue backdrop, and the telephone poles zoomed by; it created a happy, liberating feeling in Edward's chest. Once, a swarm of birds dipped and swerved in shimmering unison, right over their heads.

Edward was strongly aware of Jasper in front of him.

His jacket blew out, whipping in the wind. Edward battled the continuous temptation to run his fingers somewhere inappropriate. It required all his restraint to keep his hold at Jasper's sides; a few times his treacherous fingers slid forward to rest against Jasper's belt buckle despite his efforts. Those were the moments when Jasper would reach a hand around to squeeze in warning at Edward's kneecap, even as his hips bucked involuntarily.

Edward would exhale shakily, making himself stop disturbing Jasper.

Fuck.

Edward wasn't exactly hard; but he couldn't really relax either, being this close to the man. He supposed Jasper must have been in pretty much the same hyper-aware state; anticipation of the night to come coiled in lusty thoughts, kept a shadow of arousal threading through his innocent enjoyment of the moment.

All in all, it was a very pleasant two hours.

Edward secretly liked the motorcycle very much, although he would make sure to grumble again next time Jasper asked him to ride it. Just on principal, because it was loud and potentially unsafe.

Not to mention sexy as hell.

_[HCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHC]_

They eventually took a break at a small town in the cornfields. It felt good to walk around and stretch after the constant shaking of the motorcycle. They settled in, eating greasy fries at a worn picnic table by a small diner. Since neither of them had eaten lunch, Edward had wanted to get burgers too, but Jasper had convinced him to wait.

He was taking Edward to a special place for dinner and he really wanted them to enjoy it.

So instead they snacked, chatting and sharing fries in the sunshine.

It tasted amazing, if Edward ignored the potential artery-clogging amount of fat in them, as well as the hypertension-inducing packets of crunchy white salt Jasper sprinkled liberally all over.

After a relaxing break, they had another 30 minutes to go on the Harley, and this time, Edward didn't have to be seduced into getting on. In fact, he might have been ready and waiting before Jasper was done returning their tray.

All too soon, Jasper pulled up to a slightly larger town that sat beside a sparkling grey lake. As they walked leisurely along the edge of the water, shoes dangling from their fingers and toes sinking into the sand, Jasper reached a shy hand to brush their fingers together.

With a gulp and a deep breath, Edward slid their fingers together and firmly grasped Jasper's hand.

Fuck, he was turning into a teenager, blushing and feeling daring for HOLDING HANDS.

Holding hands on the beach. So romantic.

Holding hands…with a man.

Fuck!

Edward looked around wildly; it was a sleepy, almost deserted kind of place.

A bunch of children were piling sand and branches into a castle while their parents looked on from beach chairs. Well, Edward thought it must be a castle; it was a large soggy lump with a moat. Except no one, not even a child, decides to build a lopsided hill. So surely it was castle. If you squinted just so… Or if you were four… Unless it was a spaceship?

Anyway, the kids were busy with their castle/spaceship, and they certainly weren't going to judge Edward and Jasper.

There were a few couples, dotted here and there along the beach, but they were too into each other to be bothered by two slim young men holding hands.

Then Edward looked up into Jasper's proud-smiling eyes and he decided he didn't care what others might think. Jasper was happy, and quite frankly so was Edward.

Fuck any judgmental idiots who might disapprove.

Double fuck them, because Edward was going to get fucked too.

And so was Jasper. A triple fuck then.

Unless it was still a double fuck? Edward wasn't going to fuck anyone for real. Well, except for Jasper. And any other chick his manager chose...

But that was beside the point. What he meant was that he wasn't going to really fuck any homophobes. Except for Jasper.

Jesus! It sure was getting complicated! With all that fucking, it was turning into an orgy!

Plus, all that thinking of fucking was giving Edward a hard-on, so he focused on the warm, slightly callused feeling of Jasper's hand in his instead.

When the couple grew tired of walking, they plunked onto a log half-swallowed by the sand. Jasper lamented that they weren't able to swim in the lake because it was just too cold.

Edward nodded sympathetically.

Of course, it was because of the _cold_ he wasn't swimming. It had absolutely nothing to do with the fish that might be swimming in the lake too. Nor with algae, or snakes, or the gazillion long-legged bugs that disturbed the shaky reflection of trees on the surface.

Nope, and it most certainly had nothing to do with the possibility of blood suckers and sharp rocks and pond slime that might inadvertently be swallowed.

Nope, it was the _cold_ that bothered Edward…

Instead, Jasper and Edward drew silly pictures in the grey sand with a pointy branch. Their unspoken desires eventually manifested in a sketch that included a gigantic cock posing in front of a ridiculously round butt that set them to giggling like idiots. Thank god the kids were now busy collecting rocks by the water's edge! Edward scraped the drawing extra-well, just in case. He wouldn't want to be the parent having to answer the questions that their drawing would certainly create…

It was nice, just hanging around and not doing much.

Not doing much _together._

Relaxing.

Friendly.

Soon it was nearly suppertime and a quick ride half-way around the lake led them to a restaurant perched right by the water's edge.

Windblown and peaceful, Jasper and Edward settled in for a nice dinner at what Jasper claimed was one of the best Italian restaurants in the state.

Later, Edward would remember the magic moment with Jasper more than the food, although Jasper was right and the taste was close to perfection. The wine was rich, and conversation flowed easily at first. The décor was simple and comfortable, candle-light flickering on white tablecloths and large windows overlooking the lake. It was an intimate setting, encouraging soft confidences and gentle laughter.

There was a newness to their relationship that made everything clearer, sharper. Somehow, their previous actions for Alice's film hadn't counted. This was a date, and held all the potential that first dates have. The thrill of revealing yourself, the feeling of sinking whole into the other… And for Edward and Jasper, there was the secret knowledge of what they were going to do later.

Jasper finally admitted that they were spending the night at his cabin.

Yes, his cabin.

Because Jasper owned a cabin in the woods somewhere nearby…

Garrett had inherited it from his grandmother, who had raised him as a child. And when he'd died… Jasper had been most surprised that his young lover had a will, a proper will that he'd left with the porn company's lawyer.

''Who makes a will when they are twenty?'' Jasper wondered. It was almost as if Garrett had known he would die young. The single thing of value he possessed was that piece of land out in the country, and he had made sure it would belong to Jasper if something happened to him.

Jasper admitted to having mixed feelings about the place, memories too vivid to contain when he went there all alone. Yet he had decided to share his special place with Edward, even before his unplanned confessions of that morning concerning his past history with Garret.

It was… right.

Edward was speechless for a moment, squeezing Jasper's fingers in his and trying to find the right words.

He couldn't, in the end, and simply whispered ''Thank you.''

Edward was no good at grand declarations and couldn't really explain how honored, how cherished, he felt to have Jasper invite him.

There was a charged moment, where they stared too deep into each other's eyes in the changing shadows. It bordered on uncomfortable, so intensely intimate it was scary.

Jasper's eyes glittered as he raised his wine glass in a toast. His voice was gruff when he spoke: ''To love, past and to come.''

Edward's voice was strange too, as he echoed ''To love...''

The gulp of wine seemed too large and hurt Edward's throat, yet he forced it down.

Then, thank God, the waitress returned with appetizers and the thick choking blanket of too-serious emotion was broken.

By choice, it seemed, their conversation turned lighthearted as funny anecdotes were shared.

More and more, as the meal progressed, the rest of the evening seemed to loom larger and larger.

Conversation faltered.

Edward was going to get fucked.

They were going to fuck.

Jasper was going to make love to him.

Fuck.

The thought swam around the edges of Edward's mind, creeping into the marrow of his bones. It made it difficult to breathe; charged every silence with electricity.

Arousal sank over them, awareness mounting again.

Jasper licked his lips and tried to remember what to do with his knife, swallowing thickly as his chest constricted. Fuck, his erection was a chronic annoyance around Edward, refusing to be subdued by any distraction technique he used. There was a pulsing warmth in his belly that made keeping his hands away a feat of control.

And Edward was unintentionally making it worse, trying so hard to behave himself.

Jasper could read him easily; he could_ see_ Edward's desire in the tense lines around his expressive lips, could _hear _it in his small unsteady breaths. Jasper was sure he could_ smell_ it too if he leaned closer, a spicy warm Edward scent. And the thought of _tasting _his need, tasting the diamond drops that were surely smearing inside Edward's underwear if Jasper correctly read his fidgeting…

Jasper moaned and forced himself to spear a shrimp onto his fork.

Edward's hand trembled as he sipped from his wineglass, and he stared out the window, silver ripples of water in the moonlight reflecting in his glasses. Jasper wanted to reach out and trace his soft lips with a thumb, so badly…

Edward's gaze snapped back to his, eyes dark with fiery need.

Jasper smiled tightly again, and Edward nodded in response; they both turned their attention to their meals.

Fuck.

They had passed the challenge to their willpower for now, but it was clearly a matter of time. Lust was growing too strong to ignore.

Fuck.

Jasper poked at his pasta, and Edward moved bites of pizza around on his plate and the silence drew out.

There was simply no way they could keep up a rational conversation, both of them barely afloat in the swamping need to take this night further.

Later, Edward would always wonder how they managed to stay and finish their meal without having frantic sex on the table. He had NEVER been so turned on before in his life. His whole body thrummed with a craving for flesh on flesh that even surpassed his throbbing cock's need for friction.

They resisted the sexual tension together; it was clearly a team effort, Edward thought. If either Jasper or he had caved, if one of them had stroked the other or kissed or… something that they burned to do, they would have ended up furiously fucking in the bathroom.

But somehow, Edward managed to keep his hands to himself, fruitlessly taking deep breaths in an effort to dispel the throbbing. And for all he stared holes into Edward, Jasper remained calmly in his seat, swallowing bites of food when he remembered to.

The tension grew so acute Edward ached with it, really ached; ached in his chest, and in his cock, lightheaded.

When their plates were finally cleared and the waitress offered dessert and coffee, Jasper shook his head frantically.

No.

No.

He couldn't take anymore torture.

He was going to spontaneously combust if he had to watch Edward licking whipped cream or chocolate mousse. Fuck no.

Edward's voice was deep as he asked for the check, and Jasper shook himself into action.

''Edward.''

Green eyes swirled to him, bottomless with want. Jasper swallowed unnecessarily and crept a hand into his coat pocket.

''I have something for you.'' He continued.

Jasper bit his lip at the nervous kick of lust that twisted in his stomach as he nonchalantly handed a plain, rather flat, box to Edward.

''Wear it. Go to the bathroom right now and put it in.'' Jasper's voice shook a bit and Edward's dick leaped in his pants. Fuck. He could _see _how turned onJasper was getting and it drove him crazy.

A quick peek into the box had him squealing relatively hysterically.

''No. God, Jasper, no!''

At Jasper's shushing, Edward lowered his voice to a horrified whisper, as he argued. ''I can't, Jasper. Seriously. You saw the pictures last time. I… There's no way I can take a butt-plug up my ass, not here! Especially not with how turned on I already am! Fuck, Jasper!''

Jasper leaned in close to him, brushing a hand up Edward's thigh until his dick lurched and he shuddered. Jasper might have licked a bit of the salt from Edward's neck, because he couldn't really help it, as he whispered:

''You have to. It will make it easier, later. And we're not staying here. I'll go pay and you'll just have to walk out the door and then you can make all kinds of weird lust faces if you have to.''

Edward ran a restless hand through his hair, considering it. Kinky Jasper was making his head spin. But memories of a spastic orgasm just barely inside the safety of his apartment made him hesitate still.

''Please. Jasper no! I'll… die. I can't.''

''Do it, Edward.'' Jasper's voice gained that edge of firm command that had erased Edward's hesitations on the phone, and he straightened to his full height, staring Edward down.

''But…Jazz… it… it's pink!''

Fuck. Even Edward knew that was a lame excuse, but he couldn't really think anymore, not with Jasper so close by.

Jasper chuckled, not at all apologetic. ''Of course it's pink! Alice gave you the turquoise set. So I got the pink one, remember? I brought the medium size butt-plug; I know you can take it. And it will start to loosen you up for later…''

Later…

Fuck.

Dizzy, Edward turned and wordlessly headed for the men's room. Sitting on the toilet, he shivered at the relief of pulling his shiny red dick from its fabric prison.

God, he wanted to jerk off.

He stared at the plug, slowly stroking his hard cock. He reminded himself that he wanted Jasper to penetrate him. And it would surely help if he'd started to get ready before. It was logical for Edward to start getting ready.

Jasper had thought about this. He had planned it.

There was even a little packet of lube.

It was only logical.

With sweaty fingers, Edward carefully spread the slippery fluid all over the plug, and then poked a finger into his asshole.

A weak little sound escaped him as his ass clenched so tightly he could barely keep his finger in.

Fuck.

Too turned on!

Trying to relax, Edward firmly pressed the plug against his asshole. Then he pushed in the way he had learned the previous times and huffed triumphantly as the plug slipped in.

Fuck!

For the next minutes, Edward squatted on the toilet, simply getting used to the feeling of the toy distending his ass.

He travelled an exploring hand all around his tense crotch. He rolled his sore balls between long fingers, then traced behind them to feel the swollen plumpness there. Reaching into his (shaven anew that morning) ass crack, Edward pushed at the thick rubber lodged there, feeling the hard shape of the plug move deep inside him.

His cocked dripped then, and Edward next pressed his fingers into his tight lower belly. He hooked his thumb over the base of his dick, trying to push it down. He enjoyed the stiff way it resisted, bobbing upwards, swollen to maximum engorgement.

So ready.

It would be easy to cum, right now. A little jerk, a little twist and…

But no, Jasper was waiting.

Waiting to fuck him.

Edward groaned and rose before he gave into temptation, feeling the plug move inside him. He grimaced as he tried to get dressed; his long shaft refused to cooperate and remain in his shorts, it was just too fucking hard! A frustrated Edward eventually managed to settle his briefs up and over the throbbing head. He watched a dark wet spot immediately soak through the fabric, before he firmly yanked his belt across it. It was the best he could do. So long as he kept his shirt un-tucked, he should be able to hide his predicament from innocent eyes.

The first few cautious steps provided renewed sensation so crushing Edward nearly gave up and sat back down to expulse the plug.

Remembering his previous butt-plug adventure, Edward took careful breaths and leaned his forehead against the cold metal stall until he'd managed to regain enough control to move out of the tight space. A few more seconds of trying to re-adjust his bulge to a more manageable position and Edward finally made his way out into the restaurant.

Almost.

He froze in his tracks realizing what he'd been about to do.

He'd almost walked into a restaurant after inserting a plug into his ass and poking all over his sweaty crotch with his bare hands WITHOUT WASHING THEM FIRST!

Edward never forgot to wash his hands.

Ever.

If it was just two drops of pee, Edward washed his hands. Even if no-one was watching, Edward washed his hands. If Edward so much as suspected he might have contaminated his hands through the three layers of carefully folded toilet paper he used, he washed them three times.

Then he washed them once again to make sure.

And now, he had nearly infected the door-handle with who-knew-what-kind-of ass bacteria and even worse, whatever else he touched later would have been tainted too! And because he was planning on Jaspertouching, a LOT of Jaspertouching… Best to be safe! Especially since he intended to follow the Jaspertouching with plenty of Jasperlicking….

Wiping his forehead at the near miss, Edward meticulously soaped and scrubbed and rinsed, not forgetting under his fingernails.

_Then _he had to use hand sanitizer on his forehead, because he had swiped it _before_ washing his hands.

Dear Lord, the things rampant lust could make a man do… Or not do… Which was a positive side-effect, Edward thought. He fervently hoped Jasper would drive him crazy enough not to think about any possible ass-bacteria-spreading later on…

Jasper smiled at him from the cash register when he finally emerged from the bathroom; a quick flash of white teeth, as he collected his card and signed the receipt.

Edward's vision swam and his ass burned, but he managed to school his red face to a mostly collected expression, nodding at the waitress before following Jasper out the door.

Outside, the fresh air felt good against Edward's hot cheeks. Jasper didn't speak, leading a stumbling Edward to his motorcycle.

Fuck.

The motorcycle.

Edward had forgotten about their ride.

Jasper wanted him to _ride a_ _motorcycle._

With a butt-plug up his ass.

Fuck.

''Jasper! No! I… I can't. Please!''

Edward's eyes were large, his breathing panicked as he seized Jasper's arm.

''Yes. Edward, you can! You have to.''

Jasper pressed himself to a distraught Edward, molding their bodies together in the dark parking lot. When Jasper reached a hand between them to squeeze Edward's hard-on, Edward groaned and slipped an arm around Jasper's neck to hold himself up.

''Fuck. Fuck.'' He gasped. ''Ja- Jasper… Hah!''

Edward bucked helplessly into Jasper's palm, which made his ass squeeze involuntarily around the plug too.

Damn.

Jasper reluctantly moved his hand away before his control snapped and he fell to his knees and blew Edward right there in the parking lot. Instead, he poured all his passion into a wild kiss, wet and deep.

''God, I'm going to make you feel so good!'' Jasper promised darkly as he pulled away roughly. ''Come on, Edward. I can't wait any longer.''

Mercifully, Edward obediently pushed his helmet on, sensing how close to their breaking point they both were. The high leg-lift required to straddle the bike had him moaning helplessly, and then he couldn't stop shifting as the plug poked into him deeper.

Fuckfuckfuck.

Pleasure sparked with every weight shift, and Edward prayed he wouldn't come in his pants.

And THEN…

Jasper revved the motor.

FUCK! Vibration shot up Edward's thighs and straight up the plug and he jerked convulsively.

The drive to the cabin was a blur. Edward moaned and whimpered continuously, unable to help it. Every single bump in the road, every crack and turn altered the sensations deep inside his ass. Open-mouthed and wild-eyed, Edward clung to Jasper and held on tight as the night sped by. Pleasure crackled and flared; whenever Edward thought he'd managed to find a balance in the waves of bliss, the plug shifted or a bump pushed his boner into Jasper and he lost his bearings again.

Jasper.

Edward could feel how tense he was, how his back was all rigid and his hips rolled just a bit. Jasper gritted his teeth and channeled all his frustration into deadly concentration on the road, determined to get them to bed as fast and as safely as possible.

Edward was almost delirious with arousal by the time they screeched to a halt in a tree-lined meadow. He spent a few minutes simply breathing, trying to recover as the vibrating from the motor stopped and he finally was able to control his convulsive jolts.

Jesus.

Jasper slid off the bike and tugged his helmet off, scrubbing at his hair to make it stand up again. He narrowed his eyes, observing Edward's bowed form in the moonlight as he clutched the seat in front of him, motionless.

''Okay?'' He asked his lover.

Edward nodded, mouth too dry to be able to speak yet.

Finally, he gritted his teeth and gingerly stepped off the motorcycle. Then he had to wait another few critical seconds for the urge to orgasm to subside after the shifting and rubbing. Fuck, Edward was so close, just a squeeze away from erupting…

Stubbornly, he refused to give in and straightened warily to find Jasper approaching.

His tender expression lit by the moon, Jasper helped Edward take the helmet off, knocking his glasses askew.

''Almost there…'' he whispered.

Pushing his glasses up with a shaky index, Edward followed behind the blond to the dark hulking shape of a building. He focused his thoughts desperately on his surroundings, doing his best to ignore the rubbing in his jeans. Leaves crackled and animals made scratching noises in the woods. Something wild called, a bird or a frog maybe. Edward thought he heard the sound of water, but that might have been the blood rushing in his head.

Edward followed Jasper inside once the door was unlocked, then waited while Jasper disappeared towards the back of the house to fiddle with electric breakers and such, lighting his way with the small flame of his lighter.

There was something comforting about the darkness. Somehow, it soothed Edward's frazzled nerves.

It was… cozy.

Edward gulped, realizing this was finally it.

They had reached Jasper's place, and now they were going to make love.

_[HCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHC]_

* * *

><p><em>No more teasing. Take a breather to recover a bit, and <strong>move right on to the next part !<strong>_


	33. Chapter 30: Edward's first time

_Right, so do I REALLY need any warnings? _

**_THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS THE LONG-AWAITED SEX SCENE! Rated M, Nc-17 NSFW etc. Duh…_**

* * *

><p><em>[HCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHC]<em>

A triumphant whoop sounded and light flickered to life, blinding after the night.

Edward peered around curiously.

It was… _cabiney_. Yet another non-word Edward was inventing. Except tonight, he wasn't even going to attempt to remember the grammatically correct phrase.

Besides, it really was _cabiney_!

The place was filled with mismatched furniture; a wood-burning stove stood in the corner with a neat box of logs by it. Dated light fixtures provided illumination, and the dark green and peach color scheme reminded Edward of the early nineties of his youth. Wooden floors and plank ceilings were rustic and appropriate to the setting, colorful paintings of landscapes on the walls adding a touch of color.

Jasper's grand tour consisted of a twirl in the center of the living space.

''Edward, this is my cabin.'' He stated the obvious.

It was only two rooms, an open-concept living/dining/kitchen room and a bedroom.

And a bathroom. Thank god for indoor plumbing!

Wound too tight to waste anymore time, Jasper pushed Edward into the small bathroom and then unceremoniously dumped his bag after him.

''Get ready. I'm going to light a fire.''

Edward heard banging and paper scrunching as he hastily removed his pants. Relief at pulling the plug out was short-lived; Edward clenched his teeth as he slowly removed the enema kit from its package.

Jasper, meanwhile, had flames now crackling in the glass-fronted stove and made his way to the cold drafty bedroom.

Fuck.

The chill of humid air was starting to disappear close by the stove, but the bedroom was pretty far away and smelled of damp.

Fuck.

Fuck.

How unromantic and uncomfortable!

Definitely not first-time cherry-popping worthy.

Maybe fine for a quick bar fuck, but Jasper really wanted something better for Edward.

So Jasper swore softly and wrangled the uncooperative double mattress off the bed and pushed it vertical. It immediately sagged and folded almost in half, then tried to slink to the floor again. Jasper swore louder and wrapped his arms around the middle, using his hips to balance it. Then he yanked and heaved and cursed and dragged the unwieldy rectangle, until it plunked heavily to the living room floor.

Stupid thing.

Jasper turned from one last unnecessary kick at the innocent object to find Edward watching him with a smile, leaning on the doorjamb.

Embarrassed, Jasper scrubbed at his hair and tried to explain.

''Uh, yeah, it didn't want to come into the living room, and the bedroom will take a while to heat up and…''

Edward smiled again, lean and naked and erect in the golden firelight. He walked the short distance to shut Jasper up with warm kisses, his cock bouncing stiffly before him.

Yumm.

They melted together, and Edward gradually pushed the clothes off Jasper.

Only the need to take Jasper's pants off forced them apart, and then together they spread a sheet and pillows onto the mattress by the fire.

Jasper and Edward shared long looks at each other's finally naked bodies. Unhurriedly, they drooled over strong arms and stole light caresses down tickly ribs. The firelight unevenly flared, creating ever-changing shadows on bare skin. It was fascinating. Edward thought he could have watched Jasper all night.

THEN Jasper reached a mischievous hand to tug Edward's balls gently, and Edward mewled and rocked his hips helplessly. He changed his mind instantly; no amount of Jasper-watching would satisfy him! Edward closed his eyes, embarrassed by his body's intense reaction to even the smallest touch.

Jasper waited till Edward focused on him once more, silently reassuring him and panting through moist lips. It was all right to slip into the moment.

It was all right, because they were lovers. They were lovers and they had all night. Together.

Somehow, in spite of all the crazy build-up and feverish urgency from earlier, now that the moment had finally arrived, they were calm together.

They made out, languorous and enjoying the warmth of skin sliding together.

Edward explored Jasper's belly with his tongue; Jasper nipped at Edward's shoulder.

Edward ran tickling fingers into Jasper's ass-crack; Jasper sucked feverishly at Edward's jaw-line.

Edward dug his fingers into silky-soft blond hair; Jasper twisted his into thick auburn strands, giving Edward a totally delectable bed-head. And then he was forced to kiss him silly, for looking so adorable.

Edward playfully wrestled Jasper face-down when he couldn't stand it anymore and kissed Jasper's neck, moving toward his spine.

Jasper stiffened and tried to roll over, but Edward's hands firmly gripped his hips.

''Edward, don't… I…''

''Jasper, let me. The scars don't bother me…''

Jasper lay, gripping the pillow to his face and cringing.

After a few more kisses, Jasper just couldn't stand it and flipped over, forcing Edward onto his back.

''My scars bother _me…_ '' he explained quietly, peppering apologetic kisses all over Edward's face.

Edward nodded, dark eyes serious. ''Too soon then... We'll try again another time.''

''Okay.'' Jasper's heart swelled at the promise of other times with Edward. Maybe he would eventually be able to fully feel comfortable naked. He hoped. They would work on it. Together.

But first…

First times.

Together.

Jasper kissed his way down Edward's abs, finally reaching his hard dick. He dove straight onto it, needing to feel it flex in his mouth so badly after all the self-imposed waiting.

Edward complained incoherently, trying to move away, until Jasper complied with his demands that it was his turn too. Shifting to his side in sixty-nine position, Jasper silenced Edward with a mouthful of cock.

It worked too, shutting him up good and proper.

Maybe that was the best way to deal with whiny Edward; stuff a penis in his mouth!

Jasper laughed around Edward's dick at the thought, and Edward pulled off of his to giggle shyly.

Then they both got back to the serious business of licking and swallowing and tongue-flicking and attempted deep-throating.

All too soon, Jasper's balls grew unbearably tight and he gasped, moving feverishly up and down on Edward's stiff rod to try to prolong the pleasure. Edward was moaning constantly, muffled sounds and clenching abs telling Jasper that he was just as worked up as him.

Pleasure built tighter, coiling and coiling and then all the pent-up need from earlier was back and Jasper couldn't think or breathe or talk under the tidal wave of sensation.

Edward's hard dick in his mouth and the strong sucking on his own were too much and Jasper didn't want to fight it anymore.

He grunted, toes curling just as Edward pulled Jasper's dick from his mouth, chanting ''Close-close-close. _Ah!_ I'm gonna… Oh man! Cum, Jasper, cum for me, ha _haa!_''

And Jasper did, curling into himself and shaking, vaguely aware of hot wetness sliding down his hand and spattering onto his cheek. He groaned hoarsely through his release, reaching to lick a stray drop of Edward's cum from his knuckles.

Edward shuddered violently, dick pumping hard in Jasper's hand; then they collapsed side by side on the mattress, shaking with residual tremors.

For long moments they simply rested, each holding a sticky cock and trying to catch their breath. Once Jasper had gotten them a washcloth and they had cleaned up some, hissing at the coldness on sensitive parts because there was no warm water yet, they twined together drowsily.

Edward and Jasper didn't fall asleep though, basking in after-glow and listening to the sharp cracks of the fire. They stared at the knotted wooden planks of the ceiling, then into each other's eyes and absentmindedly stroked wherever they could reach.

Gradually, they revived, moving to slow kisses until Jasper rolled onto Edward.

Jasper silently reached for the lube he had thoughtfully placed by the mattress before Edward emerged from the bathroom.

Still kissing Edward -open-mouthed, heavy on tongue kisses- he pulled away only long enough to slick two fingers.

Edward stared, wide-eyed, but he didn't protest when Jasper returned to kiss him while slowly running his fingers through Edward's ass crack.

Edward shook a bit, nerves and anticipation, as Jasper easily slid an index finger into his asshole.

This was it.

Finally.

Edward was going to bottom for Jasper.

''How does it feel? Do you like that?'' Jasper breathed.

Edward nodded fervently, unable to find the right words to express all the shifting emotions filling him to overflowing.

''You like my finger fucking you? God, you're so tight…''

Jasper's voice was magical, rough with desire. Edward focused on it, on the way his words affected him to keep any freak-outs at bay. Jasper slowly moved his finger in and out, until it was as deep as he could get it and made Edward grunt. Jasper's other bent digits pressed against the taut skin around Edward's rim as he slowly massaged Edward's hole.

They kissed again, languidly and with growing heat as Jasper lay on his side, propped on a bent elbow. Edward panted heavily, hands clutching uneasily at the sheets.

Jasper wanted to add another finger; his dick pulsed at the thought.

But he was going to go slow.

Really slow.

As slow as Edward needed.

So Jasper made himself continue his patient assault with one finger until Edward was writhing on the covers, until he stopped clenching and rocked into Jasper's palm.

Fuck that was hot!

Jasper's cock was back to full hardness, but Jasper wasn't really bothered by it. All his attention was focused on Edward. His dick would get its turn soon enough!

He kissed Edward's soft lips, then down to his ear to whisper hotly ''More? Do you want more Edward?''

Edward hummed in approval, shivering at Jasper's words.

Jasper licked along the edge of Edward's ear, then he sucked on the lobe, purposely verbalizing his desires. Edward was always so responsive to Jasper dirty talking…Now was the time to use every tool in his arsenal to keep Edward in the moment.

''You want me to fuck you with_ two_ fingers, Edward? I'm gonna stretch your ass for my dick, hmmm…''

Edward panted ''God, yes…'', hooking his hands behind his knees to spread himself more.

Long-lashed eyes heavy with lust fluttered shut as Jasper pressed another finger in, pushing it against more resistance than the first.

Edward winced and made a little sound of protest, reaching down to clutch at his soft dick.

''Ssshhh ssshhh, it's okay. Stay with me, Edward. Relax.'' Jasper soothed. ''You'll be fine… you can do it. It'll feel good in no time…''

Jasper nuzzled at Edward's neck to distract him, adding more lube and slowly plunging his fingers in and out. Edward's face was strained, eyes screwed shut, but he wasn't pushing Jasper away. He remained loose and pliant, bending his thighs more to allow Jasper easier access.

For long minutes, they kissed and whispered soft nothings while Jasper slowly fingered Edward.

When two fingers slipped easily, he added another, making Edward squirm with a weak cry.

Jasper stilled his fingers, tracing slow circles on Edward's belly with his other hand.

''You're doing good, Edward. You're doing so good…'' Jasper reassured his lover, voice warm and impressed.

Edward's eyes opened, the pupils black and dilated.

Jasper kept his three fingers still while Edward concentrated on breathing slowly. Then carefully, Jasper began to twist his fingers. A bit this way, a few millimeters the other.

Edward groaned, and sweat shone on his chest.

Jasper lapped at the nearest nipple, gradually working his fingers and adding more lube until he buried them as deep inside Edward as he could. Then he turned his hand, flexing his fingers in that warm heat, trying to find Edward's spot.

It wasn't working, though Edward was moaning softly and little jerks shook his bent legs. He was back to clutching his whole package with tense fingers. But Jasper couldn't seem to find that special place inside, the one that would cause the same loud noises Jasper remembered from the big-plug phone sex…

''Is it better? Is it good?'' He asked. ''God, you're so hot like this. So_… open_.''

Edward raised his head and squinted incredulously, having lost his glasses sometime during the sixty-nine, and Jasper laughed in shock.

''God no, that didn't come out right!'' Jasper admitted.

Edward was laughing, his anal muscles clenching around Jasper's fingers as his stomach shook with giggles.

Jasper shook the hair from his eyes and tried to explain, horrified. ''I didn't mean you're ass was open. Well, it is, or it will be, but I meant your face. Your eyes. You're like an open book, so inviting and trusting and… willing. Open.'' He trailed off as Edward chuckled even more, shaking on the bed.

''Fuck it, you try talking sense when your fingers are buried in your lover's ass!'' Jasper exclaimed in exasperation.

''Ssshhhh. Stop it.'' Edward's voice was tender and still laced with amusement. ''Shut up and kiss me!''

It seemed like a sound plan, and so Jasper did, continuing his fingers' slow work.

Only when Edward was finally twisting in the sheets with little whimpering pleas did Jasper pull his fingers out. Edward cried out at the loss, arching gloriously.

Jasper kissed his sweaty forehead.

''Almost there… You're amazing. I'm going to fuck you with a dildo for a while.''

Jasper reached over his head as Edward tried to convince him he was ready NOW. Jasper ignored him, giving his erection a few good strokes. He'd been mostly hard through all the prep, ignoring the throbbing between his legs as he focused on Edward. Soon._ Soon_ he comforted it.

His dickhead trailed along the sheets when he kneeled, lubing up a white silicone vibrator.

Edward started in alarm; the thing was long, even longer than Jasper's considerable dick!

Jasper laughed at his expression, explaining; ''Don't worry. I'm not pushing it all in! It's longer so I can keep a good grip on it.''

Edward nodded and pressed his knees to his chest, expression intense as he waited for Jasper to position them.

He groaned loudly as he was breached, mostly in discomfort. Fuck! Three fingers were nothing compared to the girth of a vibrator!

''Breathe, Edward.'' Jasper's voice was back, silky smooth through the blackness behind Edward's eyelids. ''Relax… Take it… I'll go slow.''

Edward panted shallowly, but he relaxed visibly.

''Yes, like that. Just like that!'' Jasper held his breath, watching the toy as slowly, inch by inch, it began to disappear into Edward's ass. Edward wriggled on the mattress, sounds that were a mix of pain and lust making Jasper's dick leak.

''Oh yes, fill me! God, Jazz…'' Edward's dreamy plea made Jasper groan too. Fucking hell that was hot!

''Open your eyes, Edward…'' He urged.

And Edward did, staring intently into Jasper's face as he slowly began to work the dildo in and out. A beautiful flush spread along his cheeks as he grew more aroused, pinkness running down his neck to his chest.

Gradually, the tightness of pain eased around Edward's eyes and Jasper was able to work the plastic toy faster.

Edward was getting more vocal now, lovely sounds pouring from his mouth as pleasure mounted. When Jasper turned the plastic wheel at the base of the toy and sent vibrations up Edward's unsuspecting ass, the effect was immediate.

Edward shouted, half sitting up in bed before dropping back limply and rocking his hips into Jasper's slow fucking.

''God, that's so hot.'' Jasper breathed. ''Feels good, doesn't it?''

Edward nodded, pressing a comforting palm to his hardening dick, pulling his nuts up.

Jasper's voice was fervent, as he accelerated his movements. ''You like that? You like me getting you ready? I'm going to put my cock in, Edward, can you believe it? Do you want me to, Edward? ''

And though he was floating in sensation, Edward managed a slurred ''Oh yes. Bury it in me, Jasper…''

And Jasper did, only it was the vibrator instead of his own aching dick and then magic happened.

The vibrating shaft found that elusive spot inside Edward that Jasper had been searching for before. It was immediately obvious.

Edward moaned loudly, arching. ''Haaargh, yes!''

His fist closed around his semi, tugging hard.

''Oh! Oh… God!'' Edward thrashed, whining incoherently.

Jasper pressed the dildo just right, until Edward surely needed to breathe and it became obvious he wouldn't unless Jasper gave him a break.

Panting wildly, Edward flopped against the sheet.

Before he had fully recovered, Jasper did it again.

Smirking, Jasper pushed the toy back in, using two hands to hold it deep, just right, as Edward convulsed with pleasure beneath him.

By the time Jasper relented, Edward's eyes were dazed and wet.

Jasper let the dildo slip out, kissing wandering trails over Edward's abs until he was stopped by fingers clenching in his hair.

''Fuck, fuck. Oh my God, Jasper, that was so…'' Edward's fingers tugged Jasper up by the hair until he moved up the bed and kissed him passionately.

''I'm ready.'' He announced seriously, if still a bit breathlessly. ''Fuck me, Jasper.''

And that time, Jasper believed him.

It was time.

Finally.

Jasper groaned, and then groaned louder as Edward began to stroke his hard dick. Foreheads pressed together, they watched Edward's hand move in the flickering firelight.

''Co-condom. Where…''

Edward was still somewhat incoherent, but he sprang to his knees anyway, crawling over the bed and feeling around on the floor beside it. Finding nothing, he moved along the edge while Jasper drooled at the sight of his backside as he stretched.

Jasper couldn't really be faulted for launching himself at Edward with a growl, pressing their burning bodies together and pushing two fingers back into Edward's ass. Jasper could feel Edward's ribcage move as his breathing faltered and he grunted, pushing back onto Jasper.

For a few timeless moments, Jasper continued his manipulations; continued until Edward shuddered and his forearms collapsed, moving away with a gasp.

''Fuck. Jazz! Need you in me, so fucking bad! I was looking for…'' He raised distressed eyes to Jasper, face all tense with too much need.

Jasper nodded, reaching for the small box he had placed on the couch.

Edward watched with burning eyes as Jasper carefully unrolled the condom, stroking his cock a few times. Jasper slid his hand more convincingly as he lubed up, biting his lip.

Fuck, that felt good.

''How do you want me?'' Edward was back to looking so solemn…

Jasper kissed him sweetly, pushing on his shoulders.

''On your back, like before. I want to see your face…''

Edward went readily, spreading his thighs for Jasper and moaning quietly.

Jasper held his stiff length by the base, lining up, then hesitated.

He pecked at Edward's lips, hedging ''I'm going to do it, Edward. I'm going to fuck you… I need… If you want me to, I'll stop! Seriously. I promise! I don't want to hurt you, I… I… you just tell me and I'll…''

And then, incongruently, it was Edward who reassured Jasper.

''It'll be fine. I trust you. Are you nervous?''

Jasper laughed then, some of the tension leaving his shoulders.

''Of course! I've never taken someone's virginity before! It's just… such a big occasion. A huge responsibility. And I… care… for you. I'm afraid I'll hurt you.''

Jasper had nearly slipped up. With his walls crumbled, he had almost dropped the L-bomb! Fuck. It was much too early to be thinking about being in love with Edward, much less _tell _him so.

Edward gently ran his fingers down Jasper's anxious back, and repeated his earlier words.

''I trust you, Jazz…''

Jasper placed his tip right at the entrance to Edward, then in a last fit of nerves, pulled back to add more lube.

Edward chuckled in frustration, tugging hard at Jasper's hair.

''God, Jasper, just stick it in already!'' Edward was burning up, he couldn't take one more second's delay.

And then Jasper did, bearing down on Edward's asshole.

Fuck.

Edward closed his eyes and tried to breathe, tried to open for Jasper but he was so _big_, and even with all the prep, it _hurt_. He could feel the skin at his rim stretch and even if he took great breaths, the burn didn't stop.

And then Jasper's cock-head popped in and then there was _fullness _too. Edward's asshole still blazed and he wiggled at the feeling of being impaled.

''Hah! Hah!''

God, the feeling wasn't going away and Edward was starting to panic. His fingers clenched on Jasper's shoulders and his face screwed up.

''Edward…'' Jasper fell forward onto his forearms, pressing limp kisses along Edward's collarbone. ''Edward..ugh! _Don't_… please… I can't… Argh, I'm going to pull out!''

Jasper's disjointed words cut through the swirling dread and helped Edward focus on something other than the flames in his ass.

Now that he paid attention, he recognized the tension in Jasper's hips, the shaking in his arms. Little choked sounds were building in Jasper's throat and his whole body was slick with sweat.

Jasper shifted as though to pull out but Edward pressed two palms into his flexing ass cheeks, keeping Jasper's cock inside himself despite the ache.

''No.'' Edward begged in a harsh whisper. Fuck, somehow it was just wrong if the top pulled out. Double standards obviously, because Edward fully expected Jasper to pull out if HE asked for it.

''Please.'' Jasper shook the hair from his eyes, brilliant spots of red shining on his cheeks. He stared at Edward, an element of desperation in his high-raised eyebrows as he explained: ''You, you have to stop c-clenching like tha-aat.''

Jasper took a shaky breath. ''You're so _ugh_ tight and hot… I can't stay sti-illll when you…''

Edward nodded, wide-eyed in understanding. He concentrated on relaxing, despite the giant intrusion tearing him in two.

Jasper's face was strained above him, but he didn't pull out. He didn't push in further either, which was a testament to his control.

Finally, Edward felt ready for ''More. Give me more, Jasper.''

''You're sure?'' Jasper's voice shook. ''How do you feel?''

Edward's face was still tense and twisted, but he wasn't lost in his head; he was completely in the moment with Jasper.

''I feel like I have a porn-star pole up my ass.'' He looked up at Jasper with serious eyes.

''OW.'' He added pointedly.

They both chuckled at the statement, and everything was alright. They were still Jasper and Edward, friends and now lovers. It was done. Time couldn't be turned back; they were officially lovers now. Some of the nervous intensity left them then.

Edward's laughter caused some more involuntary tightening and Jasper moaned, eyes falling shut as he pressed forward.

Edward's laughter cut off on a high-pitched moan, and then they both stared at Jasper's dick as it slowly disappeared into Edward's ass.

Jasper stopped his tortuous inching in once he was fully seated deep in the warmth of Edward's ass.

Edward hyperventilated beneath him, twisting in discomfort but making no move to push Jasper away.

Jasper held still, pushing sweat-darkened hair from Edward's forehead until his eyes opened.

''Fuck. So deep! God.'' Edward's voice was drunk on arousal.

He still hurt, even though the burning at his rim was now erased by the feeling of being stretched inside. But at the same time it felt good. Not physically, not yet. But he wanted it, he wanted Jasper to fuck him, he was more than ready for it.

The problem was that Jasper's dick was thick, and unlike the plug it didn't taper at the base. It just continued to fill him and fill him…

Edward managed to force his heavy lids open and locked gazes with Jasper.

''It's in…'' was Jasper's awed whisper. And that time there was nothing funny about stating the obvious.

It was such an intense moment, Edward could almost see the link shimmering between them, connected together.

Jasper groaned and rolled his hips a bit and Edward nodded, biting his lip.

He still hurt, but he _wanted _Jasper to fuck him.

Jasper's moves were cautious, more of a grinding deep inside Edward than a proper in-out fucking motion. He chewed the inside of his cheek as his motions forced moans and whimpers from Edward's slack lips.

And slowly, in the golden firelight, Jasper fulfilled his promise.

He made love to Edward, slowly rocking until Edward's head threw back and the sounds from his throat lost the color of pain.

''Jazz… Jazz…'' he gasped.

Jasper stilled, breathing deeply. ''Are you all right?'' he asked Edward.

'Yes, yes.''

Edward held his balls and soft dick with white knuckled fingers, tugging them toward his bellybutton as pleasure swelled with each of Jasper's movements.

''More! Fuck me Jasper.''

Jasper complied, rocking a bit faster and grunting as his own arousal grew.

''Edward… I…''

Edward saw the beautiful tension on Jasper's features and encouraged him;

''Yes! Yes! Mmm… So good…''

Jasper stopped, unnaturally and Edward crossed his ankles around Jasper's hips in case had any more ideas of going anywhere.

''I want… I'm so close… Edward!'' Jasper shuddered and moaned helplessly. ''It's too good, I can't hold it.''

''Go, do it Jasper. Cum for me.''

''No…'' Jasper's eyebrows slanted stubbornly as he panted. ''You're not… I want you to…''

Jasper fretfully reached for Edward's still-soft dick but Edward shook his head.

''It's fine. I'm good. It doesn't hurt.'' Suddenly self-conscious, he asked

''Does it bother you I'm not hard? I don't know why I'm not, I'm so fucking turned on right now…'' He gave his penis a half-hearted tug.

All of Edward's sensations were centered on the cock in his ass, and for some reason it didn't translate into an erection. It was as if all the emotion that swamped his heart, added to the magnitude of bottoming for the first time, and then multiplied by the new physical sensations was just too much… His head swirled with vague, half-formed thoughts, his poor brain unable to sort through the entire overload of stimulation...

Jasper shook his head; it didn't really bother him. He could tell Edward was enjoying himself and the last thing he wanted was to make him feel guilty.

''I just thought you'd want… You're perfect, just like this.'' Jasper reassured.

Edward echoed ''_You're_ perfect, just like this. Fuck me, Jasper. Come for me!''

And Jasper did, giving into his urges except that he forced his heavy eyelids open and made himself look at Edward's wondering face below him even as the pleasure grew unbearable.

Shuddering, he buried himself even deeper as he crested, coming and coming in the condom so deep in Edward.

''Hah… hah…'' His abs contracted as his seed spilled and Edward joined him in sounds of pleasure, tensing on the bed.

After, when Jasper could breathe, he slipped a hand onto Edward tight abs, sweeping under his cock. Just to make sure... The expression on Edward's face when Jasper orgasmed had been so intense, he had to check if Edward had come too. His fingers came away sticky with strands of pre-cum, but no thick release.

''Beautiful…'' Edward whispered.

Jasper pulled out, feeling almost numbed with the intensity of his release.

Sleep tugged at him, but he couldn't leave Edward frustrated.

Sitting up, he discarded the condom and remained leaning against the couch. He patted the space between his spread legs, and Edward dropped against him. They leaned back together, Edward's back to Jasper's strong chest.

Jasper snaked a hand around and grabbed Edward's semi-hard cock.

Within seconds, Edward was raging hard, pressing himself even closer to Jasper with a plaintive cry of need.

Edward's hands remained curled loosely by his sides as he gave his pleasure over to Jasper. He arched as it grew, letting his head fall back on Jasper's shoulder.

Edward's eyes closed, while Jasper stared intently at his hand working Edward's shaft.

Edward whimpered and panted, as Jasper's fast jerking woke all the arousal he had felt during their fucking that somehow hadn't caused a hard-on.

It felt as though his cock was trying to make up for this; it was sooooo hard right then. Rock solid and pulsing, so badly Edward hips rolled involuntarily. The dull burn in his ass hadn't faded yet, and the knowledge that he'd bottomed for the first time made his head spin.

Together, they watched Edward's orgasm build until, with Jasper encouraging him incoherently, he shot powerfully all over his abs and chest.

Edward's release wracked him in intensity, a slick sheen of sweat covering him. He couldn't seem to breathe, heart racing, and his thighs jumped.

It felt as though all the tension that had been accumulating that evening was drained from him in that massive explosion. Tension from the whole day… Even more, all the tension he'd carried since he'd first realized he was attracted Jasper_, hell,_ maybe even all the tension that had plagued him since he'd learned to fear under his parent's judgmental scrutiny; in that sweet moment, it all simply left his body.

It left him feeling shaky and vulnerable.

Jasper clung to him in a hug, soft kisses tickling at Edward's nape. The physical proximity was comforting, gradually calming Edward's scattered emotions.

Finally, Jasper roused himself enough to fumble for the washcloth and clean them both up.

Edward stretched onto the bed, sleepy and worn out.

So Jasper pulled blankets from the wardrobe and settled himself under them, holding Edward close.

It was peaceful, with occasional cracks from the fire the only sound except for Edward's heavy breathing as he promptly fell asleep.

Jasper was awake a long time after, peacefully watching his lover sleep.

It was right.

So right.

Together…

* * *

><p><em>Well, they finally did it! What did you think? Was it up to your expectations? If you need me, I'll be hiding behind that rock over there, waiting to see how this chapter is received… And I'm sorry if you were craving hot porn-star rock-hard banging. There will be some of that to come. But this was Edward's first-time and these boys have a mind of their own…<em>

_The ''just stick it in already! '' quote was from frustrated reviewer __**Mommatri **__. Hope today helped!_

_Just a final reminder of how amazing** OdieJay** and **Twilightreaderaddict** are for having pre-read for me!_

_And I'd like to suggest that you read this twice. Once to get all the crazy horniness out of the way, then again to REALLY read it! lol_

_I can't make promises on when I'll have the next chapter done. Especially since I have a silly cross-dressing Halloween future-take trotting in the back of my mind and one-shots get in the way of writing the main story… Till then..._

_xxx_

_French Caresse_


	34. Chapter 31: Toasts and ATV's

_Hey all! I missed you guys! What can I say? Life interfered and I lost my Beta and it's been a while since the last update. But I didn't want to force the story, I found as a reader you can always tell if the author isn't feeling it! Well, the wait is over. Thank you for your patience!_

_This chapter is pure fluff, with a bit of Headward's brand of craziness. Seriously; light rainbow spun-sugar candy fluffiness. So **no warnings apply**. Just a fun week-end getaway. _

_On a serious note; this chapter is **un-beta'd. **And I really need a new Beta. Pleeeeaaasssssee! So if anyone is inclined to work with me on the last five-six chapters of Headward, let me know. I like to have a second opinion before I post. I've been known to add in bits just to please my Beta. And I work on my grammar a lot before sending a chapter to proofing. I promise._

_So, city-boy Edward is going to have some cabin fun..._

* * *

><p><em>[HCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHC]<em>

It was cold.

Really fucking cold.

The coldness seeped through the light covers and straight into Edward. Edward, who should have been sleeping the deep sleep of the just. The sleep of lovers, the sleep of those fucked out.

But he wasn't.

Because it was cold.

Fucking freezing.

Edward wasn't really awake, but he couldn't really sleep either.

He dreamt, of icicles and polar bears on wind-swept glaciers. He grumbled vaguely, in-between and not-quite-asleep.

Edward shivered, feeling the chill lick at his backbone, slither up his torso even as sleep tried to tug him back under. He pushed closer to Jasper, finding comforting body heat. And also some pointy bits, knees that knocked against him and was that an elbow?

As he drifted in the chilly half-asleep, Edward rolled over to discover an empty space where Jasper had been. Mmmm. A warm spot in the thin sheets. Edward burrowed into the Jasper-shaped nest gratefully, tugging the covers against drafts around his neck. Which of course exposed his toes to the cold. Damn.

Then weight piled onto him and Jasper was back, pushing Edward to his proper place. It roused him enough that he sat up, shivering, and pushed the hair from his forehead, trying to gather his thoughts.

''Shssshhhhshhh.'' Jasper's hand slid up Edward's goose-bumpy thigh and it wasn't weird, wasn't weird at all to have a man stroking him in the cold dark midnight.

Jasper's shadowy form moved in the dark, black against the blackness that Edward could almost make out if he squinted just so.

''The fire went out.'' Jasper whispered. ''I got us some more blankets; I'll light another one in the morning.''

Edward nodded, clearing his throat then finding he had nothing to say.

He helped Jasper spread the bedcovers, then snuggled under their heavy thickness.

Edward spooned himself to Jasper's _cold_ back, sighing.

''Good night, baby.'' Jasper's voice was already drowsy.

'' mm'night.'' Edward echoed.

Slowly, they thawed; shared body heat trapped beneath ancient quilts.

Mmmmm.

_Warm._

Finally, they slept.

Edward and Jasper shared the deep sleep of the just.

The sleep of lovers.

The sleep of those fucked out.

_[HCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHC]_

A frightful banging woke Edward in the morning.

Inches from his head too.

''Whhaaa?'' He croaked, raising a tousled head and blinking blearily.

''Stay in bed.'' Jasper whispered. ''I'm going to light the fire.''

This woke Edward enough that he didn't close his eyes again, watching Jasper work. Sunlight streamed into the room, too bright; it washed all the color away like an over-exposed photograph and hurt Edward's eyes.

Jasper was draped in a grayish-blue blanket and Edward caught interesting flashes of skin as he focused sleepily.

A bulging arm, strong fingers gripping a log. A peak of rippling chest, as Jasper made balls of newspaper. Then a rounded calf, a he leaned forward to blow on the little flame.

Edward could feel himself getting hard again, and he had to fondle himself a bit, just for the warmth in his belly it caused.

Watching Jasper like this was torture, and there was no way Edward was going back to sleep with morning-wood now turned to Jasper-watching-wood. Lying down was all too inviting to inappropriate self-touching, so Edward moved to a sitting position and curled under his own blanket-cape. He ran a hand through his thick hair, feeling how it stood up every which way. Edward scrubbed through it a few times, trying to tame the bedhead, then gave up and fumbled for his glasses on the couch.

Jasper was done lighting the fire by then, and the way he looked at Edward made his cock twitch.

Which was not a clear sentence at all. Whose cock twitched? Jasper's or Edward's? Edward's cock had twitched, Edward was sure of that. But Edward didn't know about Jasper. Maybe Jasper's cock had twitched too. It was quite possible, because of the look on Edward's face from his cock twitch. Wait, whose cock twitch made Edward's face horny? Jasper's or Edward's? Damn it, Edward was confused again. Fuck that, it was too early to flounder with grammar and unclear subjects.

Plus all that cock-twitching made Edward want more sex with Jasper.

''Morning.''

Jasper's words accompanied a lopsided smile that was somehow tender too.

''Hey.'' Edward answered. Silence grew then, both men shyly watching each other; each huddled under their blanket as dust-motes floated lazily in the blinding light.

The air in the room warmed, and eventually the urge to light that first cigarette eclipsed the remnants of sleepiness.

Edward pushed upright after and made for the bathroom, where his bag still lay, stranded on faded pink and grey tiles.

Jasper caught his fingertips as he passed, yanking him closer for a soft kiss.

Just lips touching, each man still clutching their blanket.

A soft, sweet, good morning kiss.

Which might have instigated some hopeful cock twitching.

_Mutual_ cock twitching. Edward was sure about it that time.

_[HCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHC]_

When Edward returned, teeth brushed and bladder empty, Jasper was fiddling with the fire again.

He was dressed, sadly, but he looked relaxed and homey with his bare feet and hair in his face.

''So.'' Edward ventured. ''What now?''

He really had no clue.

What did people do in cabins anyway? Edward had vague Hollywood-inspired ideas that involved luxurious places bigger than his house where blond models lounged in white fur and their muscular men in cable-knit sweaters brought them cocoa after coming in from the ski slopes.

But that scenario didn't work here!

There was not a lounging model to be seen, and no ski slope. Besides, there wasn't any snow. And Edward wouldn't mind hot chocolate, but he really preferred having Jasper all to himself. Just in case those hunky husbands were maybe-not-straight.

His other ideas on cabins involved mad axe-men and blood-dripping virgins hiding in the dark night.

Which was impossible too, because there were no crazed undead around, and no virgins either.

Edward grinned slyly at the thought.

It was official.

He was no longer an ass-virgin.

Take that, zombie creatures of the night! Because everybody knew that being a virgin turned you into a zombie magnet. And, well, that was not an ideal situation because the whole brain-eating thing was just gross. And deadly. Thankfully, Edward was not a virgin anymore, so that was one less worry.

Jasper watched Edward as he stared into space with a peculiar smile on his face, wondering what was going through his friend's head. Edward's mind was a strange place, and Jasper was just beginning to grasp parts of its working.

Then Edward blushed and seemed to pull out of his reverie, staring straight at Jasper, green eyes clear and distractingly long-lashed.

Jasper cleared his throat, remembering that Edward wanted to know what they were going to do.

''First, we wait for the stove to heat a bit.'' He explained. ''And then…''

Jasper trailed off, purposely baiting Edward. It worked too.

Edward tugged his clothes on while Jasper watched, arms crossed and internally debating making him yank them off again, then followed after Jasper like an eager puppy as he retrieved his saddle bags.

Edward yapped on excitedly, wondering what Jasper was about and was there zombies and would they visit the ski slope.

Jasper serenely ignored all the chatter, filling an ancient electric kettle with water and plugging it in.

Then he pulled a can of instant coffee from the cupboard, and two mismatched mugs.

Finally, he laid an almost-not-smooshed half-loaf of sliced white bread on the ancient counter-top.

''Tadah!''

His grand gesture was met with a blank look from Edward.

''It's bread.'' Jasper stressed, in case Edward hadn't noticed.

Edward shrugged. He was more interested in coffee at the moment. Plus he'd seen better looking loaves than that squashed one.

''For Toast.'' Jasper looked at Edward as though this should somehow produce a reaction- which it didn't. He had even used an imaginary Capital-T. Toast. Edward was so clueless sometimes…

''Toast.'' Jasper sounded eager. ''On the wood stove. You know, the best toast in the world?''

Edward shrugged again, worrying at a crack in the formica with his fingernail.

''What? You've never had squashed toast on a wood stove?'' Jasper appeared scandalized, then he rapidly became freakishly excited. ''Oh man, I can't believe…'' He clapped his hands together. Which somehow wasn't girly or gay on Jasper, just really giddy.

Jasper's grin lit up the room. ''You are in for a treat. Nothing beats toast on a wood stove! All crispy and squashed flat flat flat, so it rolls into balls in your mouth…''

''It already seems pretty squashed to me.'' Edward glanced pointedly at the sorry loaf on the counter. Half loaf. Almost not smooshed. _Yeah, right._

''Ha Ha.'' Jasper responded, affronted. ''Do you know how hard it is to pack sliced bread in your saddlebags and have it come out okay at the end?''

He leaned forward, warm breath tickling Edward's neck as he confided his secret.

''I froze it. Before I packed it. That helps a lot.''

Edward shuddered at the proximity, and mouthed along Jasper's jaw. It was strange to feel the stubble there. Edward ran his tongue along the soft place underneath, right behind the hard bony ridge. Interesting.

Edward would have liked to explore some more, but Jasper pulled back with a sharp inhale.

He smiled tightly at Edward, and then turned to fix instant coffee for them.

Edward sidled his hip out a bit, trying to shake the beginnings of an erection away.

Damn cock twitching.

Apparently, they were having toast, not sex.

Edward grew interested despite himself as Jasper declared the stove hot enough. He carefully wiped down the top with a balled up newspaper, which Edward was absolutely certain was not a sanitarily approved way to clean it and then serenely plunked two pieces of bread straight onto the cast iron.

Edward's protests at the doubtful decontamination of the cook-top eventually died down as the smell of roasting bread filled the air.

Yum.

It was only about thirty seconds later that Jasper used a metal spatula to scrape them from the stove and flip them over.

Then he squashed them, as he'd said, turning them flatter than flat.

Another couple of seconds and he tugged them off onto a plate.

A container of butter had appeared from his bags, and peanut butter from the cupboard.

But apparently Edward wasn't allowed to have peanut butter, he had to try plain butter first.

And Jasper was generous with the butter, watching it melt on the golden surface. Edward stared curiously, as it pooled instead of sinking inside the bread as it normally would. Probably because the toast was so compacted.

Then they toasted with their bread before inhaling their breakfast. Still giggling between bites, because you know, toasting with toast...

It was good.

Really.

It tasted _amazingly _good, and not like regular toaster toasts. Jasper was right. The butter that melted and dribbled, the compact golden goodness, the crunchy texture...

The toast was hot, almost too hot, yet Edward couldn't wait for it to cool. It was gone in a flash, and Jasper got busy making more while Edward licked his fingers and sipped his coffee.

He liked the peanut butter ones too, even if they were messy because the peanut butter got all watery and ran down his hand in sticky rivers, but Edward still preferred plain butter.

He didn't know how many toasts they'd each eaten by the time they stopped, and he firmly refused to count all the carbs. Delicious, golden, salty, squashed addictive carbs.

Breakfast over, the boys grabbed their jackets and headed outside for a smoke. Edward followed Jasper around the cabin to a decrepit tin shed that was most certainly_ not_ to code.

Kicking dead leaves out of the way led to creaking from rusty protesting hinges as Edward stood a safe distance away. Jasper finally managed to yank a crooked padlocked door open and reveal the cramped dusty interior of the shed.

More yanking and swearing followed, and by then Edward was distracted by the thin line of skin that showed when Jasper bent over. His shirt hiked up just a bit and the waist of his jeans sagged intriguingly and his low rumble of annoyance was hot.

Finally, Jasper wrangled a yellow four-wheel ATV onto the grass in front of the shed while Edward very helpfully fantasized about dragging his tongue over the bumpy spine he'd briefly glimpsed.

When Edward shook himself from the reverie and peered into the dark shed, he could see another ATV, faded red, still inside.

Edward tried to protest. He did.

There was no way he was going to _drive _one of the dangerous contraptions.

No way at all. Jasper was out of his mind.

It seemed that Jasper was also suddenly deaf, or maybe he was just too concentrated on his work as he added gas to the tank, pumped up the tires after battling a rusty air compressor (something was wrong with Edward, because all that bending over was really giving him a hard-on and was it absolutely necessary Jasper WIGGLED his butt like that when he did) and then grumbled about dead batteries.

''Oh, too bad. No more battery…'' Edward shook his head desolately.

Grabbing Jasper's wrist in warm fingers, he tried to tug him back toward the cabin. Leaning forward, Edward whispered in Jasper's ear. ''Let's go back inside and have more sex.''

Jasper stilled, Edward could hear his breath halt. He pushed his advantage, nuzzling at Jasper's hair with his nose. ''I know of something else that has batteries we can use to pass the time...''

Jasper shuddered, turning his head for a quick kiss through his smile.

''Stop teasing, baby. We don't need a battery.''

Then he pushed Edward back, ignoring sputtered protests about his innocence and just who was the tease, bending over all the time. Jasper's eyes twinkled before he turned around and Edward couldn't help but wonder if the bending was accidental or not.

''There's a crank.'' Jasper announced.

''You're a crank.'' Edward grumbled. ''And a tease.''

Then Jasper's biceps glinted in the sunlight as he yanked the cord. Fucking glinted, his kaki t-shirt sleeve bunching up near his armpit.

Nothing happened. At least, the motor didn't do anything. Edward's cock, on the other hand, liked the cranking.

Jasper did it again, all glinting and rippling and fluid wiry movement.

Jesus, Edward was seriously starting to have a hard time keeping his dick under control. And if Jasper was going to start GLINTING, well that was just unfair.

Edward watched distractedly as Jasper yanked a few more times, his force increasing with his frustration and the swearing Edward could almost make out in his ragged breaths. Grouchy Jasper was cute. Edward wanted to kiss him silly, right there in the yard.

Then a clattering clanking roar neatly pricked Edward's fantasy bubble.

The motor certainly sounded… cranky. It sputtered and then whined, puffing thick black smoke. Jasper, however, seemed happy with it, throwing himself onto the four-wheeler and giving more gas until it eventually ran more smoothly.

And did he REALLY have to stand instead of sit, so that his pale jeans creased and folded and stretched over his tight ass like that?

Finally, Jasper motioned Edward over. He spoke/shout over the idling motor, as a wide-eyed Edward tried to absorb all the information on gas and brakes and gear shifting and foot pedals. The Jasper was leaping off and Edward HAD to take his place to hold the gas or the motor would have choked off.

Edward sat gingerly, feeling the engine rumble beneath him. He idly studied the handlebars, trying to associate what Jasper had told him with the right equipment. Not that he had any intention of driving it.

Gas. Brake. Parking Brake. How did you put it in reverse again? Light switch. Speedometer. Or was it motor revolution?

Just then, Jasper reappeared and plunked the helmet from yesterday back on Edward's head.

''Go! Practice! Go around the cabin a few times, get a feel for it while I get the other one ready.''

Edward tried to protest. He didn't like loud noises. Or unsafe vehicles.

Jasper simply walked away, moving stuff out of the way to be able to tug the second one from inside the shed.

Somehow, Edward found himself giving just a tiny bit of gas, just to see what happened. The ATV shook companionably, puffing another cloud of smoke.

Jasper was still ignoring him, braced against the rack of the other four-wheeler.

Maybe Edward would try shifting gears. Just once. In case he had to take over for Jasper. Because he wasn't going to drive his own, no. He was going to ride behind Jasper like on the motorcycle. Twisting on the seat, he eyed the metal bars behind him.

Ouch.

They really didn't look comfortable, and Edward's butt was already a bit sore.

Not a lot of pain. But a residual twinge. He'd been stretched back there yesterday. For the first time. It was normal.

Edward had a lightly sprained anus.

And he really didn't feel inclined to bounce it on some hard metal roll bar.

So he slid his foot under the pedal. Just to see if he reached it.

Jasper was kicking the air compressor, absolutely not paying attention to his bored companion sitting on a running ATV.

Edward nonchalantly pretended to stretch, and rested his hands on the grips. Not like he was steering. No. Just, you know, stretching.

And then somehow his foot jerked up and the ATV started rolling and unless he wanted to squash Jasper he had no choice but to steer it to the left and when it lumbered to a slow stop a few meters away, well he couldn't exactly leave it there, parked at an awkward angle between the porch and the large stump.

So Edward gave a tiny bit of gas and the bike lurched forward and the motor screamed at him and he almost forgot to steer until he realized that rock was coming up really fast and he yanked the handlebars and somehow his thumb was still giving gas and now there was a tree and…

In a minute, Edward had done a complete circle around the cabin and stopped himself approximately behind Jasper.

His heart pounded and all his limbs were still attached and there was a giddy bubble in his chest that made a huge grin stretch his face.

Jasper was smiling too.

He reached up to thump Edward's back enthusiastically.

''That's the idea! Good job! Do it again! But this time, when the motor gets too loud, shift gears. Remember? With your foot?''

And Edward did, lurching in fits across the dusty leaves. Jasper was right. The bike was much less loud if Edward shifted gears, and it ran more smoothly.

Edward practiced, going around and around the cabin, growing increasingly confident in his capacity to control it. He completely forgot about Jasper, until he suddenly appeared next to him, straddling the red ATV.

''Follow me!''

Jasper shouted, then headed for the lake.

Edward did just that and boy, was he ever happy he had. The morning passed most pleasantly. Edward determined that he really liked the cabin. What with the sex, and the toast, and now this…

Edward discovered he liked the ATV much more than the motorcycle.

For one, it had a sensible FOUR wheels. Which certainly made it more stable than two.

And it was _ancient_. Edward seriously doubted it was capable of reaching death defying speeds. And he would never know because the speedometer didn't work.

Also, Edward felt reassured to be the one driving. It gave him a comforting sense of control, even if it was a ''lurchy, _oups I forgot to shift_, fuck where's the brake'' fumbling control.

And finally, it went off-road. Meaning there was no paved road. And without a proper road, it was impossible to whizz too fast.

Edward learned exactly how off-road it could go as the morning progressed.

At first, Jasper sedately followed a sandy trail that circled the sparkling lake, but he eventually turned into the woods.

The trail, and Edward wasn't really sure it could rightfully be called that, was rarely used and overgrown. The four-wheelers crawled along, among large rocks and sloping hills; rough terrain where it was impossible to reach even moderate speeds. It was all very exciting, and the fresh air felt good on his exposed arms.

Jasper proved to be an excellent teacher.

He patiently waited for Edward to get the hang of downshifting when the wheels spun uselessly.

He smiled and yelled out helpful directions. Edward learned to let the ATV do the work, gradually figuring out when to give gas to clamber over a fallen branch and when to just let his momentum push him up among boulders.

Trees grew close on each side of the trail, closer and closer until Edward had to duck under trailing leaves and hold whip-sharp branches out of the way. When they reached a boggier part, mud that you had to roar through and air that smelled of rotting vegetation, Edward began to think Jasper was lost.

They were off-roading, but this was so far off the road you could also call it _lost in the fucking forest._

Minutes later, just as Edward started to get grumpy from being constantly knocked about by the topography, with no consideration at all for his sprained anus, Jasper turned to yell ''Almost there!''

Thank God, because the constant smell of gasoline was starting to give Edward a headache, and he sure hoped he didn't have blood poisoning from the chemical inhalation. And could there be wolves in this forest? Or bears? Maybe even zombies? Mercifully, Edward didn't have time to think much after that.

The last bit was a steep incline that kept Edward so occupied with steering and coordinating it all that he didn't even notice he'd reached the top until suddenly long grasses brushed along his legs.

Looking up, Edward's breath caught in his lungs.

Seriously.

Edward forgot to breathe in awe.

Maybe it was the unexpected.

Or the slanting swashes of sunlight, golden among gnarled brown trunks.

Or the amazing deep rich shimmering green of the leaves, with shiny red dotted throughout.

It wasn't Jasper, shaking his hair out from removing his helmet and sliding easily off his ATV.

Okay, maybe Jasper helped make Edward's heart thump faster.

The fairytale setting certainly helped.

As Edward stared in wonder, drinking in the feel of the place, Jasper moved to stand by him.

The woods felt peaceful here. Birds twittered somewhere close, and the air smelled nice. It was an ancient kind of place, almost like a church. The kind of place where you whispered and meditated. Absolutely unexpected in the wild nowhere.

''It's an orchard.'' Jasper's voice was low, and a bit raspy. Edward's heart did another strange tight-squeezing thing at the sound.

''Or anyway, it was an orchard, a long time ago.'' Jasper continued. ''No-one ever comes here anymore, that I know of. It's way back in the woods now. We discovered it by accident one day, me and Garrett. It was in the spring, the smell of all the apple blossoms was like a dream… I'll bring you back, next year.'' Jasper vowed.

''It's rougher going, the ground is softer and muddier, but it's worth it. So worth it.'' Edward's weird heart thing wasn't being helped by promises like that.

''Come on.''

And Jasper grabbed Edward's hand to help him off the ATV and somehow it felt just right to keep them twined together as they walked almost reverently into the midst of all the trees.

Walking was strange for the first few steps, after the unusual stretch of straddling the four-wheeler seat and the bouncing around, not to mention a sprained anus. Edward concentrated on the physical sensations to gain control over his runaway emotions that were ever amazed by Jasper.

God, Edward was turning into a weepy sissy lover boy. Except it felt too right to really make him anxious.

Edward and Jasper selected the tallest tree to lie under.

Another timeless moment passed, lounging together in the tall grasses (after kicking rotting pock-marked apples that littered the ground away) The boys shared trail mix, crunched on apples that bordered more on tart than sweet and passed the water bottle back and forth.

More time passed, watching clouds drift across the blue, then a large white butterfly that flittered among the trunks.

Edward and Jasper spoke a bit, inconsequential things that brought giggles and blushes.

The calm atmosphere seemed to work a kind of ancient magic, unknotting things inside Edward he couldn't put a name to. It seemed he could breathe deeper here, be free. Or maybe it was Jasper's laughing presence, peaceful and serene beside him that worked its magic.

It was with regret that Jasper eventually pushed himself up and moved to bring a large cardboard box to the foot of their tree. It had been strapped to the rack behind his ATV's seat. There were a couple wadded plastic bags inside, and a folded quilt.

Jasper blushed, poking at a twisted root near his foot, admitting that it was tradition for Garrett to pick some apples from this forgotten orchard and drop them off at a local food bank.

He seemed to think Edward would feel that it was a ridiculous notion, but Edward's throat was all knotted up again at the surprisingly kind and vulnerable parts of Jasper he was discovering.

So Edward didn't answer; instead, he kicked a brown smashed apple from the ground in Jasper's general direction.

It didn't go as Edward planned though; the fallen fruit was so ripe it mostly mushed into Edward's sneaker and lopsidedly rolled a few feet toward Jasper.

And Jasper laughed at Edward trying to scrape the gunk from his shoe until Edward did his ''terrible eyebrows'' at him and then he seemed absolutely terrified as he turned to start picking ripe apples.

Edward gave up on his shoe and helped him. The ride back to the cabin was a lot quicker, mostly downhill. And they didn't linger long, putting everything right and snugly closing up the cabin again.

Edward was stuck bearing a lumpy backpack full of hard round apples and another bag was stuffed into the saddlebags.

He supposed it could have been worse; Jasper might have decided to make him wear the buttplug again after all. And the ride to the town was relatively short and it was for a good cause, so Edward didn't complain. Much.

_[HCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHC]_

At the food bank, Edward met Big Mama Maria. He wasn't sure he'd finished processing her imposing presence before they were out the door, munching oatmeal muffins.

Big Mama recognized Jasper immediately. She was a large black woman, with sparkling eyes and an aura of authority.

She examined Jasper at arm's length, apparently deciding he was up to her standards, then crushed him close in a hug. Edward was a bit dazed when Jasper introduced him, and he fidgeted uncomfortably under her piercing stare. He was approved of, it seemed, because the next minute he was wrapped in a warm spicy hug.

Then they were unloading the apples and Big Mama's eyes shone and she gently patted Jasper's cheek. Edward felt like he was intruding; the unspoken connection shone between the two, shared past history. It seemed both Big Mama's and Jasper's were shining too bright, but no words were said.

Big Mama laughed, a booming resounding noise, thanking the Lord for bringing the stray sheep back safely.

Jasper gruffly complained he wasn't a sheep, so Edward snuck up behind him and discreetly _Baaah'd _in his ear whenever he got the chance during their tour of the newly renovated kitchen. Jasper tried the death glare on him and Edward _Baaah'd_ in response, feeling smug.

Jasper's eyes twinkled and Edward's smile spread by itself and they had forgotten about Mama Maria until they turned to find her watching them.

She nodded, satisfied, then pushed oatmeal muffins at them and gushed about having to rush to get supper ready and they were out the door in minutes with promises to return if they were in the area.

''Wew! That was Big Mama.'' Jasper's comment said it all, and they both leaned against the building to finish their muffins.

When they were getting back on the bike, Jasper was almost certain he heard an irritating _Baaaah _sound close by his right ear. He gunned the motorcycle and might have set off to a more rapid start than was necessary. Just to feel Edward tense behind him, then melt against his back.

_Baaaah _indeed.

_[HCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHC]_

Hours flew by during the drive home and they were back in Edward's parking lot as the sun started to set.

''Want to come up?'' Edward's stomach might have fluttered a bit at the potential consequences of having Jasper come up.

''Sure.'' Jasper nodded, and set off toward the building. As he passed Edward, he leaned closer and pitched his voice low.

''You still haven't fucked me.''

And of course Edward jammed then, and Jasper had to wait by the door for Edward to catch up.

Fuck.

Edward had forgotten that last bit of Jasper's phone sex revelation.

And tomorrow's scene with Bella.

And Jasper.

His stomach flip flopped again.

Nerves.

Love?

Or maybe it was just hunger. Toast was good, but it was a long time ago. And trail mix and apples were romantic, but a guy needed real food if he was going to fuck his boyfriend.

It was a good thing Edward happened to have two steaks waiting to be grilled in his fridge.

Not that he had planned on Jasper coming up.

Nope.

He was just ready. In case.

Jasper smiled at him and together they waved at Charlie the security guard, who nodded and sipped from his coffee.

God.

Edward had been so wrapped up in his little weekend escape with Jasper that he had completely forgotten to worry about his real life.

He could get used to that.

Having Jasper as a buffer between him and the world.

Living in a Jasper world.

Feeling a tiny bit freaked out by the intensity of his feelings, Edward took advantage of their getting into the elevator which already held four people to lean close to Jasper.

He slid his hand along Jasper's waist, feeling him stiffen at the public display. His eyes caught Jasper's in the mirrored wall, burning and intense.

He blew a stream of warm air along Jasper's neck, watching him shiver.

Then Edward _Baaaahhhed_ in Jasper's ear.

And he laughed quietly the rest of the way up, while Jasper glared and couldn't do much else because of their elevator companions.

Life was good.

Edward had bottomed for the first time.

And now he was going to top for the first time.

Yup, life was good.

_Baaaah-mazing ._

__[HCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHC]__

* * *

><p><em>Now, wasn't that fun? Are you feeling all happy and fuzzy? These boys are too cute! <em>

_(And yes, I know there was no sex. Next time though...)_

_Take the time to enjoy the simple things in life, like squashed toast and week-end trips... _

_Like reviews. I don't have to respond to all of them, but I read and cherish each and every one._

_xxx_

_FrenchCaresse_


	35. Chapter 32: Steak and Sex

_Hi everyone! A new chapter! Yeah!_

_First, a round of applause for my amazing new Beta,** HarryTwiFan**. She was superspeedy and spot on with her comments and correction. Hurrah!_

_Which leads me to a multiple thank you speech. Thank you **KM525 **for setting me up with her._

_Thank you also to **AquaBlueMemoirs, Twilightreaderaddict,** and **Mommatri **who all offered to work with me. Seriously, you are aaaaaaaaamaaaaaaaaaazing! I am touched._

_Now for the usual warnings; **NSFW NSFW NSFW**. This one is almost 90% sex with 10% silliness. For **Mature** readers only. That means over-18. Because who writes a twenty-five page sex scene? Apparently, me! (At least I didn't have to split it in two like some other chapters…)_

* * *

><p><em>[HCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHC]<em>

For the first time in their short relationship, there was no awkwardness when Edward and Jasper stood in the foyer of Edward's condo.

Jasper walked right in, and Edward couldn't resist getting a handful of his lover's ass because it was just so _bouncy _it was probably illegal. A bit giddy at his boldness, Edward headed to the balcony to preheat the barbecue.

The familiarity filled Edward with a warm fuzzy feeling as he lifted the lid on his favorite cooking method.

Of course, it wasn't _exactly _like the previous times, he reflected.

For one, the situation was different; it wasn't Jasper arriving after Edward was already home. They had come up together, sneaking some passionate kisses in the empty elevator that had them breathing hard by the time they finally reached his floor. Secondly, there was no awkward-first-time greeting. They had been together for the past twenty four hours. And finally, there wasn't much uncertainty compared to the other times.

Jasper wanted to get fucked.

And Edward was more than happy to oblige. The thought morphed the warm fuzzy tingle into a hot buzzing deep in his balls.

Edward shook his head, gathering his thoughts.

Focus; dinner first.

Jasper fucking, after.

Fuck.

And in order to get to part B, Edward needed to get part A done. The first step was to light the barbecue. Jesus, being in love meant developing attention deficit disorder!

Wincing, Edward stretched his arms; he elongated them as much he could and leaned his torso away from the barbecue. He screwed his eyes shut, held his breath, scrunched up his face, and listened to the smart clicking of the igniter button.

With an agreeable woosh, little blue flames rapidly spread around the burners.

With a relieved sigh, Edward unscrewed, unscrunched, unstretched, and unleaned; then he closed the lid and headed back inside.

For some reason, part of him was always convinced a giant ball of fire would suddenly erupt from the barbecue and singe his face off. Even if he tried to talk himself out of it, Edward still harbored an instinctive fear of the unexpected explosion.

Once more, he had survived pressing the plastic button.

Phew.

Jasper beamed at Edward when he swaggered into the kitchen, not appearing particularly awed by his manly display of bravery.

Unless he thought the manly swagger was constipated-guy shuffling? Or worse- sprained anus striding?

Edward blushed inexplicably when his lover handed him an ice cold beer.

Jasper couldn't help a small smile at the sight. Edward was so cute, all pink-cheeked and fidgety. Who knew what thoughts whirled behind those clear green eyes?

Jasper fervently hoped dinner would be over quickly; he was already dying for the next part… Part of him still couldn't believe he was going to bottom. And that he was actually looking forward to it! Jasper had changed since this _thing_ with Edward had taken over his life. Which was a good thing. Probably.

Each man lost in silent musings, they clinked their beer bottles in a toast.

Edward soon forgot about being manly; he directed Jasper on how to cut potatoes and onions into even squares. Thank God he eventually fell silent, simply watching as Jasper cradled the vegetables into little foil packages with some olive oil.

Edward had first noticed how Jasper's potato cubes weren't even really cubic. Most of them were rectangular, some small and some larger. There were even a few triangles, for God's sake! He was debating whether he liked this rebel dice or not when he got distracted by how sexy Jasper was in a domestic setting.

Edward remained silent until Jasper was finished.

Then Edward blushed again, stammering and finally making him re-open all the neatly double-folded seams. Edward had been so busy admiring Jasper's long fingers and the way his forearm muscles bunched that he had forgotten to tell him to add salt, garlic powder, and pepper.

Watching Jasper's forearms, god… Edward was a desperate case, indeed. He deserved any non-square potato squares he got.

The boys settled onto the balcony with their beers, watching the darkening skyline and listening to the sizzle of their potatoes cooking on the grill.

It felt like a very manly thing to do.

Man tame fire, argh.

When Edward deemed the vegetables ready, he made Jasper set the table while he manned the grill for the steak he'd set to marinating the morning before. Not that he'd _planned_ for Jasper to come up after their weekend tryst or anything. He just happened to have two steaks in Asian marinade hanging out in his fridge.

Edward proved his superior barbecue skills with perfectly marked, juicy meat.

Jasper sure seemed to approve, devouring his supper with grunts and moans that made Edward discreetly clutch at his dick. Hard. A warning to behave.

A weird grunt from Jasper had Edward peering guiltily back at him. Had Jasper caught Edward touching himself inappropriately under the pine table?

Edward studied his lover, blushing -again.

Jasper didn't look accusing. He didn't appear superior or taunting or even horny, which was the expected expression if he really had watched Edward shifting _stuff_ to a more comfortable position in his pants.

Jasper's facial expression was weird. His eyebrows pulled together and his eyes were narrowed. He experimentally chewed once or twice.

Jasper's eyes watered and he hurriedly grabbed his napkin, not so discreetly spitting something into it while Edward stared on, perplexed. Definitely not as discreet as Edward's self-fondling. Nope, Edward was obviously the discreeter of the two.

Jasper, meanwhile, was coughing and clearing his throat with a red face. He took a giant swallow of beer, wiping his eyes.

''What the fuck was that?'' Jasper's voice was scratchy, and that really shouldn't make Edward's dick throb.

''What?'' Edward was appropriately bewildered and a slight bit defensive.

With a final sniff, Jasper frowned at what was left of his perfectly good steak, poking a suspicious fork at the edge.

''I don't know,'' he grumbled. ''Something… Hard. Like… tree bark or something. And it tasted god-awful. Strong and like… licorice, maybe?''

His hazel eyes met Edward's.

''Awful,'' he concluded, with a shiver and another sip of beer.

Edward understood then.

He tried to remain calm, but laughter was boiling in his chest.

''Jasper.'' Edward's voice barely trembled with suppressed hilarity.

''Jasper...'' Edward had to bite his lip and start again, feeling the corners of his mouth twisting up. ''Did you just eat a star anise? It's a spice, like cinnamon bark. I put it in the marinade, but you're not supposed to eat it!''

Jasper merely sat, staring at Edward with a blank face.

''I just ate a _star anus_?'' he dead-panned.

A beat passed.

''Yuck!'' Jasper made a show of sticking his tongue out and wiping it with his napkin. Which was absolutely not sexy. Not sexy at all. Christ, were all tongues that long and pink?

Jasper eyed Edward, eyes crinkling with merriment.

''You put _star anus_ in your steak, and you say you're not really gay?'' Jasper's shoulders started to shake as Edward tried to splutter up an answer.

''No! NO!'' Edward was understandably upset. ''It's _star anise_. A-neese. It's a spice. For the marinade.''

Jasper just giggled, hiding behind his napkin.

''I …ate… You… starry anus…''

Edward barely made the words out between Jasper's gasping chuckles, before the man collapsed onto the tabletop, blond curls tumbling over his forearms and laughing face hidden.

Edward tried not to laugh, tried not to encourage Jasper's silliness, but it was difficult. Huh, starry anus.

''Star ANISE. It's not comestible.'' The cook in Edward helplessly attempted to clarify the situation once more.

Which, of course, just made Jasper's hysterical laughter climb out of control.

''Fucking hell, Jasper!'' Edward was starting to laugh in spite of himself. Jasper had nearly choked on a star anus…

_Star anus…_

Edward couldn't pretend to be serious anymore, and joined Jasper in shared laughter at their craziness.

''Jesus, why does everything have to be about ass these days?'' Edward grouched when they were starting to calm, which only set Jasper to hooting again.

''Star anise. God! It's not even that alike. Stop it, Jasper!''

Being authoritative really didn't help. Maybe because Edward couldn't keep all of his affection for Jasper from creeping into his voice.

Jasper's head rose an inch or two above his arms. He peeked at Edward through his hair (which really shouldn't be so sexy given their absurd conversation) and said ''It does too work, grammatically.''

Edward did his best raised eyebrow, daring him to explain.

Jasper took some deep breaths, straightening in his chair, before arguing. ''Yes. It's correct English. It's just more than one anus. Plural anus.''

Edward responded frigidly. ''Is not. More than one anus is anuses!''

''No.'' Jasper's face was schooled into grave soberness, but his shoulders shook suspiciously, which dampened the credibility of their serious grammar debate. ''One goose. Many geese… One anus. Many aneese. _Star aneese._ And I ate only one, thank god. So it was a star anus_._''

He managed one last determined nod before his head fell backwards, and the mad laughter continued and the smooth underside of his jaw made Edward's dick twitch again.

''No.'' Edward almost sounded serious; he refused to be swayed from proper grammar use.

''Yes.'' Jasper wiped his streaming eyes again. ''Yes. One star anus. Many star aneese.''

''And you shouldn't eat them,'' he added severely, making a face and wagging a finger at Edward.

Edward shook his head mutinously, holding his ground. ''One anus. More than one anus is anuses.''

''No.'' Jasper looked into Edward's eyes for a second, before almost falling off his chair with laughter. ''More than one anus is an orgy. But beware of starry ones…''

And then they were both laughing so hard again they couldn't keep up the pretend-serious conversation.

By the time they were finally down to aching ribs with the occasional chuckle, Edward's dick started to get interested again.

Phew.

Jasper's lips looked _so _soft, even if they were a bit chapped. Just begging for a kiss.

At the thought of kissing Jasper, Edward's feelings surged once more, scary strong. God, Jasper was really working his way into Edward's heart. That last crazy bit of silliness was yet more proof of how compatible they were; he could even have share in Edward's neurotic rants. Although the thought wasn't exactly reassuring.

Their love making the day before, the outdoor fun, even the food-bank apples, made Edward's chest tight with potential. He wanted Jasper. Wanted to be with him. Not just for the sex; not anymore.

Fuck, the sex.

Tonight it was Jasper's turn.

Edward's half-hard dick pulsed again. Not that he hadn't liked bottoming, but the thought of taking Jasper… Edward huffed a harsh breath, chewing on his bottom lip.

It was a bit scary, exactly how much Jasper noticed. For when Edward looked up after a silent lecture to behave directed at his excited prick, he was suddenly lost in Jasper. That intent stare made Edward gulp and completely erased any (still debatable) effect of his inner sermon.

Jasper smiled, but his tongue quickly ran over his top lip, and Edward's cock sure liked the move. Images of Jasper beneath him, of Edward's dick pushing into him, of the sounds he would make, choked Edward. Fuck.

Indeed, fuck.

Edward could hardly wait.

Edward tried to smile back at Jasper, but his breath was short and there was a tight ball in his belly that left no room for the remains of his dinner.

Jasper poked around in his plate, cheeks flushed red. God, Edward wanted to _lick_ those ridiculously cut cheekbones. He was so hopeless….

''It was a really good steak,'' Jasper said gruffly.

Edward croaked a bit, trying to get his voice to work, and answered with a breathy ''Yes.''

''Except for the star anus.'' Jasper's last comment brought a fond smile.

Edward sighed, spearing a perfectly golden and juicy bite and staring at it murderously. Damn it, now he couldn't eat another bite.

''It's just too fucking bad I can barely swallow because I just remembered I'm going to fuck you later.'' Edward calmly stated his problem.

''You can't swallow?'' Jasper's eyes sparkled. ''Maybe I should dilate your throat. With my dick.''

Of course, Edward had just been attempting a bite of potato, one of the rogue non-cubic cubes. It stuck and Edward coughed and his eyes watered as the thought of deep-throating Jasper's penis made Edward's motor coordination skills disappear completely.

Jasper didn't even laugh at Edward's choking. The air grew charged with tension, an electric static of desire.

They were going to fuck.

It was real.

Edward's heart pounded, and Jasper's eyes were absolutely _burning_ with lust as he shifted in his seat.

With a hard exhale, Jasper pushed his chair back and rose. The bulge in the front of jeans, straight at Edward's face level, looked fucking painful. No wonder he wiggled. Damn porn star cocks.

God.

''I… I need a smoke.'' Jasper's voice was rough enough that the hair on Edward's forearms lifted. He had to force himself remain in his seat, long after the patio door slid shut, staring at the tabletop and trying to forget the burning image of Jasper's hard-on straining his pants-front.

Giving up on the rest of his dinner, Edward rose and shuffled around, carrying their plates back to the kitchen.

His awkward walk was now caused by a swollen and fucking sensitive dick, most of the way to fully hard, caught inside his pants. He wasn't in any better state than Jasper.

The occasional rubbing and the tightness around his cock balanced somewhere between painful and pleasurable.

It made Edward grit his teeth and groan a bit as he travelled back to the table to get the rest of the dishes.

Fucking hell, he was going to pop before he even got his dick inside Jasper if he continued at this rate!

_[HCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHC]_

By the time the table was cleared, Jasper was leaning, hip cocked, against the counter. He stepped forward, pushing against Edward until he was backed against the sink.

Wanting to prevent Jasper from realizing exactly how aroused he was - which was an absolutely ridiculous instinct because they were going to be naked together soon and anyway, Jasper _knew-_ Edward leaned forward before their hips could touch and kissed him softly.

The kiss was gentle, tender. It was not exactly innocent, but it wasn't full-out french-kissing, either. In spite of the relatively chaste mouth brushes, held back passion simmered in harsh breaths in the occasional tremble of a bottom lip and in wet swipes of tongue.

The simple kiss was nice though, and Edward worked to keep it that way. It was obvious from the burning in his belly if they deepened it, they were going to have sex right there on the kitchen floor.

Jasper obviously seemed to feel the same; the soft lip brushes and unhurried tongue tangling continued until Edward moaned and Jasper's breath hitched, and Edward just knew they were sliding out of control and he couldn't remember why that had been a bad thing and his strong fingers played along Jasper's jaw and fuck his dick _pounded_ now.

Edward's fingers clutched hard at Jasper's jaw, cupping him under the chin almost too strongly. He took over the kiss, swallowing Jasper's sounds. His thumb dug along Jasper's chin, pulling the corner of his lip down, and his fingers pressed hard into the opposite cheek.

Mine.

Edward pulled Jasper's head closer for one last bruising kiss before pushing him away roughly. Jasper wiped at his swollen mouth with a forearm, stumbling around the counter to lean against the breakfast bar.

A safe distance away from his lover, Edward fiddled around with the dishes, heartbeat racing a mile a minute and dizzy with need.

Fuck.

His dick jerked most enthusiastically. Indeed. Fuck.

Soon, he soothed it. Soon.

When he felt in control enough to look at Jasper again, his heart melted at the sight of his boyfriend.

Jasper's eyes were bright, and his pink lips were a bit parted. His hair was mussed, and he definitely looked highly kissable.

Highly fuckable.

Fuck.

''So, um, what's the plan for the rest of the night?'' Edward was quite pleased his voice didn't shake. Much.

Casual nonchalance.

He was the King of Cool.

''Well.'' Jasper gulped. He looked almost shy, running a finger along the edge of the countertop and directing a luminous grin at Edward.

''You could clean those dishes while I clean… me. Then we can take this to the bedroom.'' His soft tone was absolutely not excited.

No, Jasper was the King of Casual.

No big deal.

He was just going to _clean up_.

Then get fucked.

For the first time in, oh, six or eight years.

Fuck.

And Jasper _wanted _it. Fuck, did he want it. So badly, his hands shook and he couldn't breathe properly.

Which said a lot about his relationship with Edward.

When the bathroom door finally closed, Jasper spent a minute or two just leaning against it, trying to catch his breath.

Fuck.

He'd agreed to switch roles with Edward mostly out of a moral sense of obligation. It wasn't fair to let Edward do all the compromising. So he had made up his mind to allow him to reciprocate. It had been a well thought out decision, a rational one.

He absolutely hadn't expected the overwhelming NEED that swamped him. Even his previous bottoming experiences with Garrett had been relaxed, blissed out. Not so much with Edward, though.

Tonight, Jasper burned.

He fucking burned with the need to feel Edward pounding into him. To hear his rough breaths and smell the sex in the air. To give over his control, completely. To feel that long dick spearing deep inside him.

To simply be taken.

Jasper had never, in his entire life, allowed himself to do that. But now, instinct and irrationality just knew Edward was the right guy to submit to. Edward wouldn't hurt him. He… cared.

And even if it scared him, Jasper wasn't even certain he could hold back if he wanted to. When Edward had taken over the kiss, Jasper had stopped thinking.

Plain and simple.

As Jasper took care of the less pleasant aspects of anal sex, his mind continued to whirl and lurch. Fuck, he was in so much trouble…

Even a warm, soothing shower afterwards, and the familiar scent of Edward's body wash, hardly calmed him. Tension simmered in his veins, the itch to be taken crawling up his spine.

Jasper felt floaty. (And yes, floaty was a word, he was sure of it. He vaguely remembered Edward mentioning it a while back.) So, it was a floaty Jasper who emerged from the steamy bathroom; it was almost in a dreamlike state that he walked toward the swash of golden light spreading from Edward's open bedroom door.

He stopped breathing for a second or two at the sight that greeted him.

Edward was lying on his bed, slowly masturbating by the light of a bedside lamp.

His long body looked flushed against the pure white duvet.

He was propped against the pillows, a lazy smile settling on his lips as he spotted Jasper clad in a towel, peeking into his doorway. His hand stilled on his hard cock, before resuming a slow stroking motion again.

Jasper leaned against the doorjamb, knees a bit weak at how beautiful Edward was, slowly pleasuring himself.

Despite the unhurried sensual movements, Jasper noticed the wet, flushed head of his dick, and how Edward's thighs clenched when he flicked a finger along the slit. A faint sheen of perspiration glimmered on his chest, and Jasper just knew, knew in his gut with a dizzying head-rush, that waiting patiently had been as hard on Edward as on Jasper.

There were no words as Jasper walked to the bed, feeling it dip under his weight as he crawled over Edward. His lover smirked up at him, eyes soft and dilated, and hand coming to curl around the back of Jasper's naked thigh.

Edward stared up until, just before Jasper kissed him, his eyes fluttered shut and a soft sigh escaped.

It was the same kiss as in the kitchen, soft and loving, but this time rapidly dissolving into a hungry-desperate liplock. Edward moaned a bit, hips rolling, and Jasper groaned quite loudly when his own hard cock trailed along Edward's smooth stomach.

Opening his eyes, Jasper sank down to sit on Edward's pelvis, slipping a hand around both their shafts and stroking them together.

Fuuuuccckkk, but it was good.

Jasper could feel the pounding of blood in Edward's dick, how hot it burned against his. He stroked more firmly, just enough pre-cum and sweat allowing for the most perfect, slippery friction.

Edward watched Jasper as he towered over him, two flushed cocks in hand. His abs were tight, rippling as his hips pressed into the motion. Edward was glad he had put his contacts in, so he could see the dazed expression on his lover's face as he stroked them together.

''Fuck, look at that. Look at us. '' Edward couldn't help the breathy whisper of wonder at the sight of two hard cocks aligned, Jasper's strong fingers curled around them, and the tendons in his thighs stretching as he bucked into the movement.

Jasper leaned down for a heavy kiss, changing the angle and pulling more moans from both of them. Now it was Edward who worked his hips, bucking into the warm grip and the hardness of Jasper's penis rubbing along the back of his. The kiss was an afterthought, more shared breaths and moans from parted lips than proper kissing.

Finally, Jasper rose again with a shaky breath.

''Now, please, fuck me. ''

Jasper rolled sideways to land on the bed, and Edward reached for the lube he had placed on the pillow beside him.

Slicking his fingers, Edward moved to kneel over Jasper, reaching a trembling hand toward his lover's ass.

And stopped.

Panting hard, Edward leaned over his lover, wide-eyed.

His shiny fingers were still halfway towards Jasper's crotch.

Jasper opened his own eyes, making himself focus with a needy sound at the sudden stop of all action.

''Edward.'' Jasper moved his hips, hard length pushing at empty air.

Edward's face was conflicted, features suddenly hardened, and he bit his lip.

Crap, not good.

He slowly kneeled between Jasper's spread legs.

''Fuck.'' Edward's voice shook, and panicked emotion bubbled behind his ribs.

Crap was indeed the problem here.

''I… Jasper, I can't. I want to. I do, I really do, so bad, but I just…''

Edward's teeth were pressing so hard into his lower lip it must have been hurting him.

''I… I'm sorry…'' he finished softly.

Jasper slowly focused enough to understand Edward's issue.

And he wasn't really that surprised, actually. Once his thought processes set into motion, it was quite logical that Edward would be unable to work his fingers into Jasper's ass.

Fuck, a week ago he had been completely freaked out by his own ass! So, of course…

Edward looked really awful about it, Jasper realized. His face was twisted and he looked angry and sad and disgusted with himself all at once.

Jasper reached a shaky hand to Edward's still lubed fingers. He pushed on his lover's forearm until their hands bumped Edward's mostly softened cock.

Edward didn't even notice; he just stared at the corner of the room, unseeing and spaced out.

Jasper curled Edward's fingers one by one around his dick, clearing his throat until Edward focused on him.

''Jazz…'' Edward's breathy sound was mourning, a plea.

''Don't.'' Jasper's voice was whisper-hard, aggressive in intensity if not in pitch. ''Don't freak on me, Edward. You're doing great.''

''But…'' Edward's eyebrows were still twisted, his eyes absent.

''No.'' Jasper shook his head, firmly. ''You ARE,'' he stressed. Jasper's long fingers pushed against Edward's chest, dragging towards his hip.

''I'm really proud of you. So what if you can't put your fingers in my ass yet!''

Edward made a diminutive little moan at that, looking down at the sheets.

Jasper rolled his torso, arching his back and bending his knees until the movement forced Edward to look up.

''Do you really think you're going to get out of fucking me because of an excuse like that?'' Jasper's tone mocked, but his eyes burned again.

Edward stared, mouth too dry to be able to respond.

''Watch…'' Jasper's whisper was an invitation, seductive and irresistible.

And Edward did.

He watched as Jasper slowly poured shiny lube onto his own fingers.

Watched Jasper's face as his lips twitched when those slicked digits stroked a needy cock, hardly softened for the interruption.

Watched Jasper's ribcage expanding as he jerked off more firmly, until his abs clenched and Edward's own dick throbbed hard and he HAD to stroke himself, too.

Watched as Jasper frowned, heaving a great breath as he pulled his hands away. Watched his now impatient movements as the cap clicked on the lube and he wet his fingers again.

Watched the hungry gaze that stoked the fire in Edward's gut, until he couldn't breathe, couldn't think.

Watched Jasper's nostrils flare when the first two fingers breached him.

Two.

Edward would never have risked two on the first stroke.

But Jasper was less considerate of himself, rough in his neediness, and Edward stared at how his fingers pushed his ass wide. He imagined how it could feel to be swallowed into Jasper's warmth like that.

God.

Edward leaned back, still kneeling, but now needing the extra support of an arm pushing against the mattress to hold himself upright.

Jasper's head tossed and his biceps contracted as he tried to reach deeper.

Edward pushed his hips forward into his slick fist, trying to soothe the urge to fuck.

It wasn't working, not really. The friction of his palm relieved the ache a bit, but it wasn't enough.

Not enough at all.

It wasn't Jasper.

Jasper added another finger, and was grunting in time to his pumping. Fuck. His other hand moved from a few quick strokes on his swollen cock to tugging behind his knee to give him easier access. His face was flushed and he twisted helplessly, needing, needing…

Sooner than he should have probably, Jasper decided he had enough of prepping and it was fucking time.

Fucking finally.

Edward had totally gotten over his lapse in confidence, if the determined line of his lips was any indication.

Jasper pulled his fingers from himself, then paused for a few strokes at his hard dick.

''How…''

The question died on his lips as Edward flopped down onto the bed and stared up at him, pressing his cock up by the base.

An invitation.

Edward sure wasn't hesitating anymore.

Which was good, because Jasper could feel any reasoning skills disappearing as anticipation grew overwhelming.

A quick slide of latex, one sloppy kiss, and Jasper was climbing over Edward, settling his boyfriend's hard shaft at his backside.

Edward tried to remember to breathe as his erection pressed against Jasper's asshole.

At first, it seemed Edward wouldn't be able to gain entrance.

In fact, it felt like his dick was bending in half backwards. Fucking ow!

Jasper winced, and so did Edward.

Edward started to protest; he knew- they both knew- they'd been impatient. Jasper had been so considerate of Edward the other time, and now…They were just both so _ready_ for it, the need to be joined overriding precaution. They should have prepped more. Edward should have insisted; used the dildo maybe and- ugh!

Fuck!

In one surprising motion, Edward was in, all the way past the head.

He grunted, thighs curling inward.

Jasper exhaled shakily, head bowed so Edward couldn't properly see his expression, which would have been somewhat concerning if Edward could just focus on something other than the fact that his cock was now IN JASPER'S ASS.

Needing to ground himself, to feel Jasper and know they were okay, Edward blindly reached a sweaty hand to trace circles with his thumb on Jasper's tense thigh. Jasper wasn't moving, and Edward almost started to get worried before he revived. His head rose and their eyes locked.

Then Jasper managed a smirking grin that was borderline mocking; all pride and ''I told you so'', with a hint of mischievous ''I'm so going to blow your mind'' that made heat spread in Edward's chest.

Cocky fucker.

The nonchalant effect was almost convincing, except for a little rasp in Jasper's breath. Edward also noticed the tension around Jasper's mouth; little details that revealed how intense the moment truly was.

A groan from Jasper, and Edward's cock sank deeper. Christ!

Edward could_ feel_ Jasper pushing against him, feel his insides stretching and settling warm, hugging around his cock. It wasn't passive at all; it was all tightness and shifting and _good_ as Jasper slowly worked himself down.

A little bit.

Then a bit more.

Wonder at how amazing Jasper was to be doing this completely erased any need Edward might have felt to push up into the softness.

Jasper's teeth bit into his lip and his eyes narrowed in discomfort.

Edward didn't like that, didn't want Jasper to hurt, but trusted him to stop if he needed to. Jasper floated again, concentration bordering on obsession centered on getting Edward fully seated into himself.

Edward was incoherently whispering soft words as the magic moment played out.

''God, Jasper, so amazing… You're so beautiful…'' And Jasper should have laughed at that, it was a girly thing to say except... It sounded so heartfelt, and anyway, Jasper was so full of cock he couldn't breathe, much less speak.

''Just relax, you are doing so good… Oh my god, Jasper, I'm fucking you.'' The last sentence was absolutely awed, and indeed, Jasper's ass now rested on Edward's pelvis.

Finally, after a long, timeless bit of adjusting, Jasper smiled tensely at Edward. It was a shadow of his earlier grin, passion clouding his features despite the impish twinkle in his gaze.

Then Jasper shifted his weight, rocking slowly forward then back.

Edward might have blacked out a bit; at least it felt like it. All the pillowing warmth around his dick suddenly transformed into friction. Static roared in Edward's ears, which was surprising, because it felt as though, instantly, all the blood in his body was pounding in his dick.

Jasper moaned as he rocked more, glorious as his lean body rippled. His movements were a bit jerky, and Edward still heard the occasional gasp that sounded a bit too much like pain, but mostly Jasper seemed to be enjoying it.

Jasper laughed; a tense chuckle as he moved over Edward.

''_Now, _you're fucking me,'' he gasped, taunting Edward's earlier words.

Edward couldn't believe Jasper could still speak clearly, and he thought he should feel a bit insulted, except it was just so warm and slippery and, god, it was good _so good_ and Edward never even knew and he couldn't… couldn'treally_ think_.

Edward wanted to watch Jasper grinding on him, he really did, it was why he'd put his contact lenses in. Except, now he found he could hardly keep his eyes open, too submerged in sensation. He gripped Jasper's thighs, feeling the powerful muscles bunch and enjoying the foreign sensation of crinkly hair under his palm.

He cupped his hands on Jasper's hips, feeling the tentative movements grow firmer, stronger. Jasper was really getting into it, obviously no longer hurting, as he pushed more desperately against Edward.

Jasper's eyes were glazed and intense, so intense, and who knew he could move like that? Fuck!

Edward's hands slowly inched their way back, until he was cupping Jasper's behind in his palms and it wasn't weird, wasn't weird at all, because he'd done it before with so many girls...

Edward's wandering fingers crept towards that boiling center where his dick disappeared, until they barely scraped his own shaft. Without really thinking, he dug his fingers into the globes of Jasper's ass right there, so close, and spread the cheeks a bit more.

Jasper grunted, weight unsettled, and reaching a fluttery hand to press against Edward's chest to keep his balance.

And that sound, it woke something in Edward. Something ferocious and possessive and needy.

Edward couldn't remain still and passive any longer. At that little choked-off sound of surprised pleasure, Edward's hips jerked. Hard.

It was good, so good, even better! His dick buried deeper, and Jasper made that sound again only _louder_, a harsh catch in his throat that Edward had caused.

The furious smoldering in Edward ignited.

Mine.

Jasper was his.

His pleasure was Edward's.

His sounds were Edward's.

The beast in Edward wanted more, wanted Jasper to sob in unrestrained pleasure.

The dynamic changed, a different color painting their passion.

Seconds ago, the sex had been a canvas of blurry, pink softness; wonderment and tender first times. It now burned carnal, red dripping splashes; hot and dirty and right.

Edward rolled his hips earnestly, helping Jasper balance by holding his hands under perfect,_ perfect_ ass cheeks.

Edward rocked his partner up and down in time to his pumping movements, and Jasper… Well, Jasper just went _limp_ over him. His eyes fell shut and wet gasps that were absolutely filthy spilled from his slack lips in time to Edward's motions.

Jasper's long fingers reached instinctively for the semi flopping around between them, and suddenly it wasn't so semi at all.

Edward move up and down faster, grunting with effort.

The frantic coupling continued until perspiration made both of their hard bodies shine in the dim light. Porn stars indeed.

Jasper's rock-hard erection slapped against his abs and still it wasn't enough, really wasn't enough. Edward wanted -needed- more range, more depth, and he couldn't, not like this with Jasper's weight over him.

Which reminded him…

With a particularly deep thrust that made Jasper cry out feebly, Edward made himself still his hips.

Jasper complained with a garbled sound, and lifted his heavy head. He focused his blurred vision on Edward's face, trying to figure out why on earth would he stop, and it better be important for him to stop NOW or Jasper just might kill him.

Edward licked his lips and his voice was barely recognizable, deep and rough as he announced.

'' NOW I'm fucking you.''

And Jasper couldn't argue, couldn't argue at all, all shiny with sweat and shaking a bit because being still with Edward's rod so deep inside was killing _him_ slowly.

Edward pushed and Jasper rolled, and it might not have been really graceful but who cared? Because now Jasper was on his hands on knees and staring at Edward over his shoulder.

Edward's insides melted, watching his lover like that.

Jasper's eyes were sooo black; dark, wide and slightly unfocused. So sexy. Jasper's lips were all swollen shiny from where he'd been biting them; his hands gripped the duvet fretfully and his ass wiggled, fucking wiggled at the sudden emptiness.

Jasper looked absolutely, perfectly, gloriously _wrecked. _

For Edward.

Because of him.

God.

Edward ground his teeth, took a second to add more lube, and lined up again. He watched his purple dick, all glittery and just porno-perfect, sliding home into Jasper's ass.

And surprisingly, Headward mode kicked in a bit.

This was fucking, and Headward was an expert at fucking. A fucking expert. It was his job, after all!

Headward knew just how to stroke, pumping into Jasper with a deep spearing motion that made his back arch. Yeah, just like that.

It was good, so good, but Edward couldn't think too much about that. Edward really couldn't dwell on the fact he was fucking his boyfriend for the first time, because he could feel his orgasm shimmering right there and if he thought too much about how his balls pulsed, he would come apart completely…

And Edward didn't want that; he wanted, needed, to fuck Jasper, forever and ever.

So Edward didn't think.

He fucked.

Edward felt a slight bit detached, almost surreal as he varied his strokes, watching their effect on Jasper.

All the way out with a pop and back in, holding his dick by the base. Feeling the tightness, the instinctive resistance before Edward breached the tight ring of muscle; it made Jasper mewl so pretty, but it was intense, too intense, and the sensation on his dick head made Edward shudder and he couldn't do it for long because that tide of pleasure called.

So Edward switched to a deep fucking motion. In and out, and that, now _that,_ was just perfect; Jasper twisted and wanton sounds spilled from him with every thrust.

Edward fucked faster, firm and rough; fucked until the sound of slick skin slapping filled the room. Jasper's arm reached for his dick again, and Edward could see his elbow moving, jerking fast.

For what felt like forever, Edward savored the intensity of fucking Jasper, of _really_ fucking him. He was drunk on the feeling, high on the steady pumping that felt so amazing for both.

Edward kind of wanted to tell Jasper, wanted to share how amazing the moment was, except his jaw was clenched too tight. And Edward really couldn't unlock it, had to keep the moaning down because really it was just wrong if the top was whining more than the bottom.

So the simple phrase repeated in his mind, the same thought over and over fueling his rhythm as he moved steadily.

Fuck- ing Jas-per.

Fuck-ing Jas-per.

Fuck-ing per-fect.

FuckingJasper.

Fucking-ohmy-perfect.

FuckingJasperfuckingperfectJasperaarrgh!

Edward's control was slipping again. He moved harder and jerkier, really slamming into Jasper, who only moaned louder in response.

Jasper slumped forward and took it, took Edward so well.

Edward shifted forward to follow him, and somehow that changed the angle and now the strokes were short but deep- so fucking deep!

And still, Edward tried to bury himself even deeper because Jasper was begging now, begging in a broken voice for Edward to fuck him.

Jasper's hand let go of his dick, and he braced both arms against the bed and pushed back; pushed against Edward, trying to get him impossibly closer.

Edward gripped Jasper's slim hips hard. So hard he might bruise them, and fuck, Alice would surely kill them if Jasper showed up with fingerprint bruises for the shoot tomorrow, except Edward needed the leverage right now so fuck work!

Meanwhile… Jasper, well Jasper just couldn't _couldn't_ stand it anymore because EDWARD WAS FUCKING HIM, fucking finally!

The thought and all its implications brought too much emotion; too much pleasure and too much intensity.

Realization filled Jasper that this, whatever the link was that twisted between them, twisted around and over them, inside and out, was real. Real and tangible; as undeniable as Edward's dick in his ass. Awareness made Jasper's head spin.

The hope and the sex and the yes, the love; it was all _too much_… So when Jasper wrapped his hand back around his dick, his world rushed inwards and then exploded outwards, and he roared, fucking roared as he ejaculated all over the bed.

Of course, Edward immediately groaned like he was dying from the intensified squeezing. Then he _had_ to bite Jasper's plump shoulder, sinking his teeth in good while he came endlessly, deep inside the condom.

''Oh my god.'' It was a breathless whisper, and it wasn't even clear which of the lovers uttered it.

And there really wasn't anything else to say.

Edward eventually pulled out, and Jasper just sank face-first onto the rumpled bed. Edward flopped too, as soon as the condom was off. He flopped, breathing hard, until he started to get shivery from drying sweat and then he worked the covers out from under a grumbling Jasper who was absolutely no help at all.

Edward couldn't help running a hand over the nearest round globe of Jasper's ass, amazed. It was strong and firm, yet _inside_ it was so warm and soft. Amazing. Jasper's most amazing ass.

Amazing. And cold.

Fuck! Jasper had a cold ass! That was absolutely unacceptable.

Edward was going to coddle Jasper's amazing ass, he silently promised. Definitely not let it get cold. He tugged the duvet over them, patting it around Jasper to ensure his ass was draft-free.

As he settled again, Edward wondered if he should try to write a song in honor of Jasper's ass. He didn't have much of a voice, but he was pretty good with grammar. Or maybe a painting? Perhaps a sculpture? Where did one go to learn how to sculpt marble these days?

Maybe a gift would be more appropriate, Edward thought drowsily. Silk boxers, maybe? Or lotion? Manly lotion? Manly ass-lotion? Edward harrumphed at his idiot thoughts, making Jasper stir beside him.

So Edward didn't harrumph again. Even if harrumphing was a very cool word and Edward wanted to harrumph just to say he'd harrumphed.

Finally sinking into the fuzziness of sleep, Edward had one last thing he needed to do. Snuggling closer to Jasper, Edward reached a furtive hand down.

Yup.

Toasty warm.

Jasper's most amazing ass was no longer in danger of freeze-damage.

Good.

Edward was still smiling when he finally fell asleep.

And his hand still firmly cupped Jasper's most amazing ass.

His most amazing _warm_ ass.

_[HCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHC]_

* * *

><p><em>These boys needed a real fucking scene. You know, plain and uninterrupted fucking after all the teasing and endless postponing and mishaps. So there you have it!<em>

_Please forgive any mistakes or errors. I reviewed the Betaed version at five in the morning before leaving town for a couple of days because I didn't want to make you wait. So I quite possibly let some stuff slip from caffeine deprivation._

_Also, I would like to thank my husband for choking on a star anise and nearly making me die with laughter because the silliness in this chapter is practically a replay of our conversation. If he only knew..._

_Love you all, and thanks again to **HarryTwiFan** for the Beta._

_xxx_

_FrenchCaresse_


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